If you looked into my eyes
You wouldn’t have asked any questions
It’s clear my soul is dying…

Yet you decided to play the game
You rolled the dice
A lucky thirteen appeared

We laughed and continued on our way
I had no clue how it happened
You didn’t bother to question

God is a curious complex
Sometimes I wonder:
Did she send you to me
Or me to you?

What difference does it make?

The end was the harder part
When you decided to quit
That finished it for me

My soul kissed the end of the barrel
I waltzed with Mr. Death, himself

When I arrived here
I saw a crow doing the heel-toe!

A cruel monster drooling on it’s victims
It hollers in his cranium
Begging for attention
A child, maybe a teenager
Crying, desperately for help
Confused, repeating the same questions
Over and over again
Friends laughing at him
One or two genuinely concerned
The nurse reminds him where he is
Suddenly he’s aware of a phone in his hand
It feels lighter than a pen
“Mom? I’m okay.”
The rest of the conversation is blurry
Stumbling to a mirror
A lump can be seen on the right side of his head
Mount Everest
One moment he was playing in the fog
The next: black
What happened in those lost moments?
How did he get into that room?
Who helped him?
Who stood by laughing?
None of that matters
He's okay, he’s safe
Astonished, but safe
Unaware that years later
He would inflict this same effect
Willingly though
Calling it a cure
Self-medicated
Blackout
Something that once horrified him
Would become a safety net
The horror would return though
Memories are supposed to be clear
Not vague,
But then again,
They are monsters
And monsters are not friends

Sing to me of the times
When we were younger
When the garden still thrived
And the sun still shined

You never made it out
I guess it was your choice
When I caught that plane
Is when it all changed

I never met your kids
Did they reach their dreams?
Do you still think of me?
Are you what you wanted to be?

I rode past the garden today
Watered it with my tears
It reminded me I'm alive
And then I saw the sun shine

Often times I find myself
Desperate for company
Even when it's an inconvenience

The revolving door perhaps?
Keep my mind off of this
Let's go to the bar
Maybe catch a flick?
Hell, even sit down and watch TV

But when I return
It always gives me bliss
Oh loneliness,
How you taste so good

I don’t often dive into your insecurities
Hell, you and I both know the last time
I did it turned out pretty horrible
For both of us
But I don’t understand when you do that thing
You know, when you argue over compliments
My love, it may not appear to you
But it appears to me and the rest of us
That you are the most amazing person…*

Forgive me while I play reminisce
It’s just these days are often boring
And I need something to spice mine up,
Even if it’s a painful memory
Like the time we asked each other
“What’s the bravest thing you’ve done today?”
My response was so bland:
“I spoke my mind.”
Yours still haunts me to this day:
“I got out of bed…”