I can't say sorry enough
I know it's going to be tough
But you're better off without me
I'm not much of an emotional guy
I have those times
But it seems like I'm heartless
More so than I would like to be
I can smile at misery
And take pleasure in death
One more breath
Why can't I see
See the truth within
What a hopeless guy I am
I try the best I can
But I'm More lazy than anything else
I don't like working on myself
But I know I must
To get down to root causes
And find out why I don't trust
No commitment in my soul
Life seems like a trial
Now it's hard to let go
And turn away from the fire

I write so bleak
I don't mean to
My pen is a mess
Vulgarity spews forth
I cuss up a storm
Like a tornado's wind
So fierce and destructive
And in the end
I understand I will pay
I believe in Divine Love
Though I write like I don't
I have searched the heavens above
And found a truth that has meaning and purpose
I'm a sinner
Rotten through and through
The more I ask God for help
The more I want to take from life
I'm a selfish individual
I want everything
And the more I want the more I need help
To rescue me from myself
I have hurt others emotionally
Draining them of self-worth
I have hurt my own spirit
By the life I led
Can I get back on track
And follow what is right
What I know to be true
Can I finally say goodbye to the darkness
And say hello to the beauty of life
What God has granted me
A free gift I don't deserve
To listen to His will
And not my own
Can I do these things
I'm not to sure
It will take me giving up and surrending
Surrending to His Love

Distant
So much ******* pain
It hurts so bad
Really ******* sad
Of the road I'm on
I'm just like a newborn
Fussing all the ******* time
Never giving life a fair chance
Needing my wooden spoon
Cause I'm not done pounding with it
And crying fore more and more
Years I've wasted searching out the truth
Only to come up empty in the long run
I've had my fun in my youth
But now everything seems undone
Like there is no point in laughter
Cause there ain't much to smile about
Hoping I don't give in to disaster
And make things worse in the end
I want to stand up for what is right
But I have no courage to muster
I want to give back to life
And help others out
But what do I have to offer
I'm a ****** up individual
With a kind heart but too many
****** up questions going through my mind
I want to give back to life
But just don't know how
I wear a frown
And think life is full of ****
With everything that's involved
Everyone has to be politically correct
And the road I see ahead looks grim

It has come to my attention
That no matter what I say and do
No matter what I don't say and do
It will never be good enough for you
So *******!

Why the **** do I even try
It seems like a waste of ******* time
The more I give of myself
The more you ******* want
You want it ******* all
How can I provide that
You don't give a crap
No, not a ******* feeling
About what I'm going through inside
You want me to be a stand up guy
But it only happens in dreams
I have my flaws like everyone else does
Nothing is the way it seems
It hurts me to think you want
Me to be some kind of a god
Have special powers to be a great being
Someone that is a ******* hero
But I ain't none of those things
Just a guy trying to live a life
With peace of mind
But you're always ******* nagging
Telling me I ain't worth ****
You think you're so ******* high and mighty
That your **** don't stink
How can we work on things
If you can't even say i don't know
You have to be always ******* right
Throw your two sense into every sentence
Thinking I must be ******* blind
How can you be such a ******* *****
Thinking I'm a loser when it comes to life
I've been around the block
A lot longer then you have
I know more **** then you can only dream of
You're nothing but a prissy *****
Get your kicks by tearing me down
Acting like you're so much better than me
Maybe you are
But I don't want to walk in your shoes
I'd rather jump off of a cliff
Then try to be ******* you
Why do women want guys to change
To become like them in every way
I'll never ******* get it as long as I live
They tear you apart
And never forgive your sins
The mistakes that takes ******* place
When two people are trying to live together
And communicate with one another
No, I'll never ******* understand it