My heart is so heavy,
as I walk down this street.
All I wish is to come home
and to have you to greet.

The spaces in between
my hands are empty and numb
and as I sit here longer
the emptier they become.

I look upon your side,
where your precious smile should be
And all I see in space
and a living shadow of me.

So here, I rest my head
hoping the time goes fast
And I close my eyes
and inhale the past

I smell you, even though it's been months
and I feel your skin smooth
as I snuggle in my pillow.

What would life be without my love?
My soul, my dreams.

What would life be without that simple kiss
Every morning
Every night.

What would life be without the simplistic beauty.
Without his green eyes.
Without his copper hair.

I could never imagine such a place
As I am sure it is far from fond
A place where I roam in darkness
And reach for you beyond.

So darling, know I suffer
Know that I feel as you do
And think of all the kisses I will bring
Once I am with you.

Alien encounters
abducted by my own frontal lobe
sand dripping down my toes like those
sandcastles I used to make at the beach
as a kid with peach fuzz dunes and
flower petal skies I want my
orange bathing suit sewed to my skin and
my finger nails cut too short so it
stings when I waltz on surfaces made
of wood or steel or linoleum
like those victorian queen polka days
when we used to lay on the kitchen floor sunlight
vomiting onto our faces and we laughed anyway
I want your mustache forests and I want to believe in them
and you told me I ran so fast I don't know why I slowed down
there are 6 easter eggs hiding in the garden but
one
has a slug on its shell and when you pick up
the tie dyed droplet surface you'll shriek
in delight
in the light
of the moon
the golden one hides in the creases of
the trees and it will remain there for
1 week until you smell the stench
like emerald gas climbing up your nose
I have dreams of flying
falling
thoughts of
icicles and snow angels
pretending I am someone I am not
an actress with all the lightbulbs and glitter
who am I to say it
me me me me me me
back to the hallway extremities
and ski lift blushing and ocean
drowning I can not wait
for the day that I finally realize
what I need to understand
in order to vacuum the carpet
in order to
in order to

CAME the great Popinjay
Smelling his nosegay:
In cages like grots
The birds sang gavottes.
'Herodiade's flea
Was named sweet Amanda,
She danced like a lady
From here to Uganda.
Oh, what a dance was there!
Long-haired, the candle
Salome-like tossed her hair
To a dance tune by Handel.' . . .
Dance they still? Then came
Courtier Death,
Blew out the candle flame
With civet breath.

I, sitting on my porch, all world around
The drop upon the roof, such damping air,
The plop from the metal falls to the ground.
Magnificent such sight fills with despair
When white electric strike, silenced fury,
A rumble loud so fills my ringing ears.
Above all, evergreen that stood as jury,
A misty sky, lighted and looks, appears,
To sight, but dark arrives too hard.
The pattering is strong and now comes bleak.
The wind, so sharp and crisp, has played a card,
And bends the stem, the leaf, and blows to creak.
I smell old air, fat crickets far do hum.
Oh yes, this will not stay, the cold will come.

Why cant I
hold her hand forever?
Why cant I?

If fate is so fierce
I don't know how to hope
What if one night,
it robs my daughter
and steals my sight, the morning after?
What if as ashes I fall
and my aimless quest has to wither?
What if my power to love wanes
and the kindred ability to suffer?

Fate has to answer
Fate can't be,
in itself an answer
For then life
is just a movie yet to buffer

Blame me please,
sentence me please,
for no words shall be sweeter
Gift a few dry words
to the broken man in waters
If my cries are too faint,
I shall gladly cry louder

But please answer,

Why cant I
hold her hand forever?

To amend all of my previous statements I have made
about love, a topic that I really have no knowledge of
I will attempt to be as frank and honest as possible.
Well, as honest as poetry can be.

I cannot promise you an eternity.

Not only would that be drastic, but also inconsiderate
as the days to come may be darker than the night sky
and who will know when our feelings may drift apart
Like little leaves in the wind.

Nor can I truly love you the same forever.

Because people change, our hearts grow and shrink
with new experiences, failures, and successes too.
I know this, for my heart swells at the passing air
Whenever I think of you.

So, instead of those meaningless cliches, I would rather ask for a pact.

For us to grasp hands lying under the sunshine
knowing that the storm is brewing on the horizon
and to brave it as best we can together, and only
When we cannot take it, we will let go.

There is a significant chance we won't make it to the end
and I know this, it haunts me every second I consider it
but now, and only now, I can safely tell you my love
To my heart's content.

I love you, without negative connotation,
and I fear, I worry, I brood over everything
Fear is an old friend of mine, an acquaintance
so I cannot forget, or atone, only amend my faults.

I have no eternities to promise, no delusions of grandeur
just the throbbing of my heart, the babbling of my mouth
and a love that grows with the passing of seconds
all laid bare on the tops of the hill, overlooking the storm.

I ask no romanticism, just one action: *Take my hand, take my heart, and take my soul, and together will we walk.