Idk the rules of love
  If there even are any
I never been in love to compare to what I feel today
  But the pain I feel from the loss of you is greater than my strongest feelings for them
  Idk if it has to be weeks
Months
  Years...
Or you just fall in love in a moment that takes your breath away and captures your heart
  Takes it from you, so when they leave... You're lost, and they can't hear it's beating but, you never stop feeling it
Silly as I feel
  It's just you
I ache missing you
Will it stop?
Do you even remember when your heart beat next to mine?
   I never ever believed something couldn't be lost
Until you
I just saw life stretched out with you by my side
But you're not
  You're long gone, clueless to what you've done to me
  It fills me up with emotions I want to stay but, they drain away when   my eyes open in the morning light and your spot on the beds empty
  Empty, empty I'm just empty
My mind rewinds us daily
The grip I have hurts my soul because your soul I didn't get to keep       I'm alone
  Without you, it just doesn't make sense
  Do you feel me at all?
My nails on your arm, or running through your hair as I laid on your chest?
Do you remember wiping my tears, holding me tight, choking on goodbye?
  Do you remember the way my eyes made you melt?
And how we just talked and laughed for hours?
Do you remember being home?
  I know my shatter heart cut you to pieces
But you never said you'd leave
  I didn't think you'd just replace me  but, grip my hand so tight
Our we lost at sea? Drug out by the ocean tide?
  Is missing you my fate?
Will I be different if I see you again?
Will you?
You, you, just you
I met just you
  I had just you
I fell for just you
Eyes only for just you
Fear for losin just you
These I'm sorry's for just you
  These tears are only just for you
Life gets in the way
We get in our own way
Idk if this is love...
  But, I do know this pain consumes me and my heart is heavy and barely getting by
  Idk the rules of love
If there are rules
I broke the biggest one..
I lost you
I lost shaking loves hands wrapped in your arms
  I lost just you
Just you
I miss you so much, I still hear your voice, see your smile, feel your arms    around me, your goofy giggle, your guarded but protective heart, your  weaknesses, the awful storm you put me in
  The selfishness when you wouldn't just let me go
Why did you want me to stay?
Will I ever know?
Do you see the same bright star I see?
Do you ever turn around and catch a glimpse of my eyes, or smell lingering
  To just float away
Idk the rules of love
But, my heart won't change it's beat for you
  And We're oceans apart
My hearts scattered in tiny pieces floating with the waves
To you? Idk.
  Would you put it back together?
Idk the rules, or if love has any
I just wanna find the exception
Every rule has an exception
  It's just you
Just you
My eyes slip shut, and for just a little while.. It'll be just you....
  And me
Love will be there
  Just you&Me; again
Idk the rules of love
  But, maybe if I stop searching for answers, next time I open my eyes
It will be Just You&Jus;; Me
  For now, I'll just dream....
I just don't know the rules of love

I never saw this coming
There was no light at the end of the tunnel
Your grip on me was so strong
How could I escape?

You were wonderful at first but. You quickly changed
And suddenly I needed you way more than you'd ever need me
But you because so cruel, if I tried to ignore you, you'd make me so crazy I had to see you

I want out of here
I don't want to be around you anymore
You're not my friend, you're like a poison slowing killing my soul
I wasn't even a shadow of who I'd been
I cried so many nights, wanting to reach out but, judgement scared me more than you

You weren't my only enemy
No the devil was by my side everyday, every night feeding me with lies
And constant excuses on why we needed to see you
I hated it so much, I was trapped
If I didn't do what he said, I faced harsh consequences, and I was just as afraid of him as I was of you
What in the hell was I gonna do to get out of this hell that was my life now

All of the sudden something dark and scary took me away from the both of you
A foolish mistake saved me
It forced me to see you and him in a realistic light
I spent many nights lonely, in pain and ashamed

The gates finally opened
As the fresh air hits my face, I smile but then quickly realize what's happening
I have my choices back
And you're right around the corner
And HE is coming
I know what I should do, I know I should tell you to *******...
But, when I'm around him I become weak
I lose my voice
So we hung out with you a few more times

I was crying, sweating, freezing and hating myself
I already did this! Why the hell did I go back to your house for?
Why am I with him, I can see in his eyes that he's sinking deeper
He's with you all the time
And I never wanna see you again
And I won't

So life went into different direction fast
A path I never ever thought it'd be possible for me to be on
I was seeing everything and everyone for exactly what they were
He was the worst, and as days passed, he grew darker and any loving feelings I had ever felt from him were gone
And so were mine, in fact I couldn't find a single reason to care anymore

It took longer than I wanted for things to end with him
Even though he was nothing but toxic
I couldn't seem to work up the courage to just say "it's over, we don't belong together"
I played every trick in the book
I was cold and distance, distracted
But, it just caused fights
And the fights meant nothing to me, no guilt or remorse filled my heart
I just wanted my indifference to make you leave

As usual, the **** literally hit the fan
Our last blow out was huge, earth shattering
Though I no longer desired him, his words sliced me right to the core, bringing out anger that I'd buried for so long
Trapped, no way out, you took control of the situation
In my own home, my parents upstairs sleeping with no clue the evil happening below them
You almost took everything from me
My breathing was none existence, I was seeing dark spots, fading away slowing
This can't be the way it ends
And I didn't even get to say goodbye to my mom

Abruptly you backed away
I lay there gasping for air
Crying while holding my broken heart in my hand
I climbed In my bed, sobbing, looking at the wall, holding my broken heart tightly in my hand
I never thought I could hate someone as much as I hated you

The next day brought sun and a mixture of tears
As I remembered every disturbing moment from last night
Ignoring the bruises in the mirror
It was over, I repeated these words to you over and over
Your arrogance had you in shock
As if the night before hadn't taken place
And even though tears filled my eyes as I repeated my words
I wasn't crying over the loss of you, but the fact that it took a glimpse of death to free myself of him

But, the tragedy turned into a victory for me
Not because he got what he deserved
That I was free from him and you
Thinking about either makes me laugh now
The demons are slowly exiting my body and soul
He's still trapped
You'll always be one of my biggest mistakes

But,  I'm over you both.
And there's no way in hell I'd ever come back
No need for goodbyes
There's no sentiment being left behind
Just an empty man... Whose completely clueless to what's happened
Just give it time
People won't forget the evil things you did

But they will forget you
Hands had been extend to you
To help
But, you say you have no problem
And that's ok
But, maybe when you're 40 and still in the same place, And everyone has moved on.

You were just part of my addiction
Part if my fear of not being
Of not being alone
But the second you left
The darkness was lifted, the sun came out
And I saw a world, I'd missed out on
If I'd stayed, well never mind that's not in option

In the late of night
You tried to steal my light from me for ever
There was nothing but hate in your  in your eyes
He knocked me down hard and repeated
I got up. I got out. I got a little braver

And then I got up, free and far away from you
No longer poisoned
I am not his prisoner
I'm no longer at either of your beck and call

I am free. I am me

I am me again

Your chances are all used up
And you're all alone on a dark endless road..
You see a light.. It's not at the end of the tunnel
It's coming full force out of the front
By the time you realize you're on the ground and that these are your last breaths
It'll be too late... Again
And you're all alone
Fighting to cling to your pathetic life
The rest of us don't know you're even missing
You won't be mourned
You won't be remember, can't remember a person you never knew
The masks lay all around you
It's cold
It's dark
No one left to blame
I smile slightly from afar
I watch you twist in torment
Not moving a single step or saying a word
I watch as the pain continues to slowly trickle through you
Don't act so surprised now
Life's a boomerang
You get what you give
You gave nothing but pain and scars and harsh words you could never take back
The lights gone
But, it was heavy, loud painful
And you lay there and slowly reap what you sow