I dreamt that a
               covert visitor
               was at my
               door...

I awoke in a sweat
               at the thought
               of something
               more...

My child
My child who sits by herself
With tears welling and a tidal wave of emotion
Too overwhelming for your tiny frame
Your precious mind
Your beautiful heart

Do you know that you are beautiful?
My child who watches the children play and laugh
My child who thinks and feels
With the world passing, acting, doing, ignoring
Do you know that you are worth the world?
Has anyone told you your hair falls in soft waves of gold
And your eyes are light and radiant?
Do you know that you are capable of even the things that scare you most?
Would you believe that you are every kind of lovely?

My life has been molded
by the world of 15 minute increment agendas
and 150 character updates by the second.

My body has been pacified
by the world of liquid sugar satiation
and instant edible gratification.

My mind has been conditioned
by the world that favors extroverted personalities
and introverted abdomens and collarbones.

I live, move and breathe
in the world that is scared of freethinkers
and will not succeed in boxing me in.

In my world, I define my own worth.

I don't need you
to solve
all my problems.
I just need you
to not
become one
of them.

Silver winged of steel
Buckled up
Cocooned in a cabin
No phones, no emails, no Internet
Racing down the runway
Soaring high above the ground
Distant specks of life
Winged of steel climbs though the skies
Clouds below, clouds above
Seat reclines, put in my earphones, close my eyes
I lose myself, soothed by the motion of the flight
Just a seat, a window, sky, music
Suspended, moving above the earth
Windswept heights
Countries, oceans, mountains, forests
Dawn to dusk
Smooth and turbulent
Dancing through life’s path in the skies
My breath of Serenity

Once again the inanimate thread of darkness envelopes me,
Brittle and weak, my limbs collapse as I try to run towards the light.
Enthralled by my distorted mind, I descend.
Down and down I fall, like the Alice from a Lunatic Wonderland.
Keen words wound my heart, condemed to live it all.
Solemnly and idly, I stare at the carnage of my wars,
How can no one see me yet?
Through the despair, I remain, seeking for the guidance of the faintest light.
Happiness in fleeting, seeping through my hands; a liquid mess.
My knees are raw, wounded, from the running and the falling.
Yet I choose to stand and walk this lonely path.
With ragged clothes, stinging feet, and blind eyes, I get up,
Feeling my way through this paradox of a maze,
Hoping to finally find my place.

Watch the world move, a day at a time. And once you’ve ceased trying, remember this rhyme.

Time doesn’t stand still. Not for a minute. For that minute is yours, and you better be in it.

I just cant explain

the way everything is what it's supposed to be

even when I'm in pain

I am unadulterated. I am free

It gives me shivers

so deep in my bones

my soul decides there's no time to give up

not even when I am at my most alone

this life gives me goosebumps

I feel like a mammoth sometimes
stomping and clomping and trying to find
Where all the other mammoths went.

I make lists
to organize my life into lines
on a page
some lists are for groceries
others for wishes
I make lists of "to do's"
for the satisfaction of crossing them off
I scribble thoughts onto paper in the late hours of the night
I make lots of lists
of things I'm grateful for
of goals still awaiting their accomplishment

to remind myself I exist

I guess it's also a form of obsessive compulsiveness
that comes with not knowing who you are
or being unsure of where you're going
I make lists
to slowly, deliberately, write myself into a person