Confidence is barely present anymore, it was replaced with anxiety and panic attacks. The once secure and happy girl I was, she's nowhere to be found. She was last seen about five years ago, falling into a black hole of insecurity and fear. I became the person I swore I'd never be. I changed. Nothing about me is the same any longer, except my name perhaps. Never thought growing up would crush my lively spirit and squeeze the life out of me, like a lemon used to make a bitter glass of fresh lemonade. Growing up has its consequences. It makes you so much more aware of the chaos surrounding you, of the people you know, of the things you thought you knew so well. It gives you a taste of bittersweet truth, of reality and the dark parts of it all. You see the world like never before, and the insight gives you a glimpse of how things will be, later in life. As your emotions build up, your self-esteem lowers, and insecurities make a mess of you and ruins your outlook on everything, including life and love, you'll feel stressed, emotionally tired and life will never be the same.
Wrote this at around 3am this morning.
It's not a poem, just a late night vent, I guess.