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Jade Elon Sep 2013
i like to think you love me
but i know you don't
that's okay
i can forgive you
for the heartbreak
if you can forgive me
for the love

*your love of me & my love of heartbreak caused us to be the best pair in the world
Sep 2013 · 470
And I Love You
Jade Elon Sep 2013
sneak into my window
at 2am
have me hold you
tell me you love him
tell me how he broke your heart
i'll hold you & brush your hair
& say it will be okay
tell me how you're going
back in the morning
that you have a lunch date with him
and how the tears are worth it
tell me everything
i'll make you laugh
i'll make you smile

*God I Love Your Smile
Sep 2013 · 406
Virtue
Jade Elon Sep 2013
And if god was real
Don't you think he'd know better?
I shouldn't
I couldn't

But I did anyway
I tried anyway

And if god was watching
It must have been for his own sick amusement

Because it was my only saving grace

And now all I do is pray and cry and pray some more
Sep 2013 · 546
Back Then
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Momma is over here cryin'
And I'm dyin'
'If all you're goin' to do is cry please do it somewhere else'
Momma is over here cryin'
And I'm lyin'
'If all you're goin' to do is cry please do it somewhere else'
Momma is over here cryin'
And I'm tryin'
'If all you're goin' to do is cry'
{Oh}
'If all you're goin' to do is cry'
{Oh}
'If all you're goin' to do is cry'
{Oh}
'Please don' show nobody else'
Sep 2013 · 648
See Her Go
Jade Elon Sep 2013
It's the vibe, the same on you got when I put my hands around your throat, your midsection. People like to tell me I'm scary like the easy way. People like to tell me I'm beautiful, like the hard way. People like to tell me I'll see you again on the other side of the lake where my dreams will never reach because they are glass and I am glass and I am sorry for caring about the way you lied. I'll surround you throat, your midsection with a thousand liars hands and say hallelujah, I'll say didn't you know? Not everything is painful, not everything hurts like the smite of god. What did you do to deserve eternal damnation? You say you never kiss and tell but kissing cousins lie, they lie like stainless steal being scratch proof, and the feeling of tears on a Sunday. You...just forget I said anything and I'll go on forgetting your name.
Sep 2013 · 529
Seamless
Jade Elon Sep 2013
I want to wrap you up in a blanket like quicksand and tell you a secret
One that's been whispered onto the lips of cursed sailors
I want to tell you
How much I love the way you lie
At night I lay awake and map out your face with the shadows on my ceiling
You might think I'm desperate
But that's only if
You believe desperation
Is eating away at your soul
Like a moth to a flame
And weak old cheese
But I love you
Like I love everything else
Like the feeling of glass in a fresh wound
Sep 2013 · 632
Shallow Waters
Jade Elon Sep 2013
And you've never understood this feeling
It's not love
I don't have the capacity
But if I don't have you I'll cry
No
If I don't have your attention
I'm a selfish creature by nature and you keep giving me what I want
But you're on the deep end while I'm in the kiddy pool

I try to stay in shallow waters were no sharks are so I don't get hurt.
Sep 2013 · 1.9k
Classy
Jade Elon Sep 2013
It's like
God
I don't even know what it's like anymore and you you always look so pretty
You setting there like nothing is ever going to happen
Like you've forgotten my name
I was that image
On the river side
Oh now you remember
I was the shadow of the man of the person who you wanted to be
I was normal
I was kind
But I was virtuous and I knew my rights were right and my wrongs were morally sound
But you've always been the judgmental type but that's ok
I'm a splintered fragment of what I used to be
I'm not where close to what I could have been I'm my childhood
But it's ok
It's fine
I'm a lady now
Sep 2013 · 869
Mental Breakdown
Jade Elon Sep 2013
It’s sorta like setting your house on fire. (HOTHOTHOT)...Not that you care right? Burning things is easy. Peaceful really and you remind me of jesus or some **** like that. I’ve been locked up for far too long with very little to do. Hey don’t you remember my name? I was the devil on your shoulder but the angel whispering in your ear:

I love you but love is for the weak. I want you but I always want what I can’t have.

Let’s be friends. Let’s be lovers. Let’s be colliding souls on the stairway to heaven. Let’s be forgotten. Let’s forget I even mentioned it.

And she bleeds to you know in her heart of gold. Well not really.

This emotion isn’t for the faint of heart.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Let’s be together forever in my dreams…

No. Let’s not.



I’d rather not have nightmares every night...
Jade Elon Sep 2013
I never said I was sorry. I wasn't. I never am. Go cry yourself to sleep and forget I even said something. Forget I even breathed. No wait.

I'm a lair.
I'm a lover.
I'm no good.

Hey can you promise me something? Can you promise that when the morning comes you'll forget what I said? You'll forget I existed.

I know I hold you down
Like a devil
Like a saint

Like the ghost of a lost soul who once was in love.
But I don't know what love feels like.
All I know is that it is as fickle as the wind. All I know is that it makes you cry at night.
All I know is that I'd rather not know at all.

Go home. Forget it.
Say you never knew me....
Sep 2013 · 610
Walking the Thin Line
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Walking the Thin Line

----------------------------

I love you, I love you, I love you


I love you like the feeling of snow against my bare feet

I love you like the feeling of rain at a wedding

I love you like the fog that covers cemeteries

I love you like the ghosts that I used to know

I love you like the lies that dot my eyes

I love you like the feeling of blood seeping from
a fresh wound

I love you like all those things I want to forget



"Everything remembered was made to be forgotten and I'm one more drink away from forgetting you had a name, I'll let your face blend into the walls and let the carpet consume me"



I love you, I love you, I love you.


But to love is to suffer
I hate to suffer
I hate to love


But weren't you the one that told me love and misery often come in pairs?

Or maybe that was a waking dream,

Or maybe that was a drifting nightmare.



I love you, I love you, I love you


But I love to love what I know is unattainable

And for that I hate you too
Sep 2013 · 2.0k
TuLove
Jade Elon Sep 2013
The card read:
"Perfection.
This feeling,
This adoration!
Perfection,
To feel this way everyday.
Dear, I would never leave you."
......

The flowers again were tulips
I hate tulips.
I hate the smell.
I hate the shape.
I hate the meaning.
......
2 weeks.
2 long weeks.
2 long weeks too soon for tulips.
Sep 2013 · 1.1k
Iris
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Iris
In the spring
She was a crier
Simple and sweet
She loved to say
"God bless"
And
"Sweetheart"
She loved to say
"Never leave me"
And hold tight to forgotten dreams.

Iris
In the summer
She laughed a lot
At other people's pain,
Innocently
She didn't understand the concept of tears
Water was water and it had been a dry year

Iris
In the fall
she locked her heart in a box
She made herself a small fortress
She let no one in
She knew it was easier to trust
When you're weak
And easier to get hurt

Iris
In the winter
She disappeared
She said,
"I'll be back when it's warmer."
She said,
"I'll be back for June."
She said,
"I won't be long."
She said,
"I'll be back for you."

Iris**
In the next year
The little box she left
Her heart in opened
And it said
"God bless"
And
"Sweetheart"
And
"I never left you"
Sep 2013 · 714
Childhood
Jade Elon Sep 2013
And she called me a lover you know

In a fitful sleep she told me...


How it wasn't worth it
How I shouldn't do it

How I would regret it

But I packed up my demons and her with them and left 



You know if love is like the wind unpredictable and free

Then
Hate is like a blind man with a gun to your head

Or a old lady pickpocket

Or a pastor cursing god on a Wednesday

Or her when she smiled at me that smile that didn't reach her eyes and told me the stories of her life that never happened, or how she forgot or how she remembered or how she told me she loved me and the sting of the words made me bleed more than the feel of her gold ring on my soft skin. 



Oh god oh god oh god.


And she called me a dreamer you know

Long before I knew what dreams where

And
Long before I woke up.
Sep 2013 · 424
Oh Girl
Jade Elon Sep 2013
My dog likes to tell me stories about how the neighborhood dogs think my dog walking skills are boss

And the way I control a leash is classic

Likes to tell me stories about how in the middle of the night

When the lighting bugs and cigarettes are smoking (at the same time)

How I seem breath taking and celestially transcended

They think I'm cool and grounded

They think with their tails

Dogs can't really be trusted

And when we lay in bed at night

*My dog is never there the next morning

— The End —