And maybe it’s not up to date.
But my life has led me to make such grave mistakes.
Maybe I shouldn’t lock the gate.
But when things unfold it’s up to my mistakes.
I know that things should be easier.
But it doesn’t give way for life to unfurl.
So why can’t I just keep my eyes on the sky?
It doesn’t make it easier for the sun to shine.
So as I wait for that opalescent moon to glow,
It shouldn’t make it harder for the sun to show.
I don’t know what it’ll take for the stars to glow.
I’m not sure what’s left, but as long as the stars still shine there will always be something that glows.

There's nowhere left to watch the flowers bloom,
or not be alone in a crowded room.
It seems all that's left is my merciless tomb.
And the end of fates for me and hopefully not those that i hold closest to.
So as i try to see clearer on this petty senseless web.
I'll realize that there's no value intertwined it's just their cult and the ones they want dead.
So as i reach my final breath i'll hope they give it a rest.
But there has never been less meaning or sense in this valueless mess.

Everyone's deceiving.
What's the point to the chaos it's ignorant sadists who won't let me focus on leaving.
Why is this all so played out?
I can't even keep one consciousness in tact and there are too many doubts.
If there were any way I could change things and get rid of their contorted web of lies, maybe there wouldn't be so many people being forced to add to their disguise.
But all they want is power and control.
How many lives will go to waste before hell takes it's toll?
And now I'm stuck here trapped without my own soul, it's just the versions they keep in place until their plan unfolds.
So **** them all. Will they ever leave me the **** alone?
My life has always been trampled on by parasitic bigots with no mercy on anyone. They just keep their illusion going so no truth will ever unfold.

All this torment and there will never be peace.
Why did this start because there's no point i can see.
All of this is senseless petty slavery.
Stop dictating my life with your corrupted minds filled with false power and greed.
No one should go through you people's played out web of lies.
And you all cover everything up with your mindless disguise.
So as i hope you all burn or get swallowed by the earth, i'll wonder when it'll be my turn.
Because you people rob people of everything and leave them with no self worth.

Life is misconstrued because no one feels like staying in their own shoes.
I don’t even care that I don’t know what to do because life is nothing but a blackened hue.
So as I hope to see streams of red come streaming from your eyes, as I sit there and wait to witness your merciless demise.
Too bad I’m not strong enough for those twists and ties. I’d mutilate you to hell for all of your petty lies.
So as I hope all of you burn, I’ll try to remember a time where life itself had any sort of worth.
You say you’re elite, but this is one sided.
Maybe it’s not only me whose blinded.
But when life is just a contorted mess, to get whatever you see “fit” not caring about the rest.
I would gladly tear my insides out of my chest.
But I’ll never Rest In Peace until I rip your organs to shreds.

Why give anyone the satisfaction?
It's like my whole existence is rationed.
What was really mine to begin with?
I honestly don't care anymore because i'll never be missed.
What was the point in figuring out a new way to coexist?
Why the **** did i ever care i'm always left for dead and my whole existence is in remiss.
So **** it i guess i just want to shoot myself dead.
Because a lifetime of suffering isn't worth all of these thorns in my head.

Life is a hoax.
Can't do anything but choke.
I don't get why everyone plays these petty games.
Everything is intertwined in a web of lies and choas, there's little room to stay sane.
So as i try to get out of this petty somewhat merciless charade, i'll try not to have all of the blame put on me.
But it's part of their deception so i doubt anyone really cares to see.

Left for dead.
Get the **** out of my head.
The feelings I had were mine.
But now I’m stuck drifting through your made up disguises.
What’s the point of keeping me here if everything I am is something you’re stuck hiding?
I’m losing my ******* mind.
And I can’t stop thinking about my lack of time.
So I guess I’ll never appreciate the sun shine.
Because nothing that’s going on leads to anything other than my demise.

When the bend in the road leads to a brutal demise what’s left if you never had enough time?
Maybe things are misconstrued but I wish it didn’t lead to a merciless doom.
If I could escape I’d try to get things right.
But it seems I won’t make it through the night.
So as I wish I could have watched the flowers bloom, I’ll remember that I was always alone in every room.
So as I hope life gets better for those who deserve it. I’ll ponder on why I was always worthless.

Trapped in this sequence. Where can I go next? Lost it all, including what was hidden in my being and my chest. Everything gets stolen, manipulated or contorted. I don’t know what else there is to do instead of finding some order.

You people live for petty sadism.
While there is no meaning in what you people preach,
You all live your lives in deceit.
Making the weak plea for things that there would never be a need.
So while you people live on your hell bent greed,
I'll hope this despicable mess falls apart at you people's feet.
Because all of this petty torment is ruining life at the seams.
And none of you people care because all you all care about is your egos, power and irrelevant petty needs.

Too many cracks in my mind and I can’t always tell whose hiding inside.
How can I tell who’s wearing a disguise, or contorting my being to someone I can’t really recognize?
I don’t understand why they have such a strong hold, but as things unfold I can see that they’re changing me too much as well as growing cold.
Why is it like an army against me?
They cover up the truth because they don’t like their crude reality.
So why do they put the blame on others?
It’s not an easy thing to overcome and it can leave you feeling smothered.
So as I try to figure out what to do next,
I’ll try to be me again and feel something mine in my chest.
Instead of all the given feelings they leave me with, this isn’t the way life should be lived I just wish they would get out of my head.

Life holds no value. Everyone's corrupt.
There will never be meaning because it's just everyone's misconstrued bluffs.
So why is life just a petty parasitic game?
I don't care anymore, why don't we all just get slain?

Why is life a demented race?
People blinded hiding their face.
What happened to anything with meaning?
This is a ****** up orchestra that’s only deceiving.
So why is everyone’s eyes filled with hate?
Bigots lying and destroying everything in place.
Maybe there does have to be a change.
But it doesn’t have to start with these petty lies and games.
So as I hope you’ll all rot, I’ll try not to be distraught.
It’s ignorance that’s been bought.
And you were all the ones who taught.
If I could get revenge I wouldn’t hesitate, to make you all suffer for all of this and not ever get anything other than erased.

What does it take to ruin people’s lives?
Stealing their soul and what they keep inside?
You people play dumb with all of your petty lies.
Stop torturing the once deserving to bring their demise.
It doesn’t take another person to let the sun shine.
If you people weren’t so entitled to other people’s lives, maybe life wouldn’t be so chaotic and there would be hope for everyone in time.

Being hated my whole life.
So why do I care?
I don’t care if I succumb to the knife.
Life is too unfair.
I’m done.

Everyone thinks there’s an easy way out.
But the masquerade never stops and I’m left with too much doubt.
I want to try to get up and out.
But I’m damaged and caged, and I’m slowly going insane.
Why won’t they just stop the games?
I’m starting to fill up with too much hate.
And left wondering if I’ll ever escape.
But this labrynth of a maze is filling up my days, with too much to undo because the truth is misconstrued.
So I guess it looks like I’m ******, because none of them will ever have enough.
And everything’s so distorted that the truth is so contorted that my life is just so horrid.
And I have nothing more than a predetermined mess of a life.

It seems i might have found myself.
But this heartache is making me weak.
But it feels nice to feel.
Will i ever find something real?
Or will i be stuck clicking my heels wondering when i'll find my way home?
I guess until i find my someday, i'll be left out in the pouring rain.

Infecting my mind and the rest of my being, the tests were pointless and none of you see it.
At a loss in where I stand because you’re all a part of my mind.
Get the **** out, I want to find a way to tear out your insides.
But this demented mess gets more petty by the day.
Isn’t there a way for your organs to be rearranged?
So as I try to find another way I’ll hope you people find some sense.
I’m losing it here and I want to rip out your veins and your tongues and chain your lifeless bodies to the fence.

The days go by, and there's little life left in this vessel.
Just an ever changing burden of everyone whose infected my being.
Was this mind ever mine? Or were you always entitled to everything i am?
No matter your plans, i hope they turn to sand.
Because there's no escape in this parasitic hand.
And nowhere to go that doesn't let me escape being hell bent from you digging me deeper into this pit.
Just hate and anger and fleeting feelings that never stay.
I need to get away but i'd rather be blown to ashes than go through your petty ******* for another day.

As life unfolds it seems like a contorted trick.
I don’t know where I’m headed but most of these people are making me sick.
How do I find a brighter hue to live?
I don’t know who I am but there’s nothing in me to give.
But what could I give when all they used to do was take?
This life is so twisted I never thought it could ever be this type of charade.
I know I can’t take it so what’s with all the lies?
No one shows their true colours, it’s distorted through their disguise.
So how did things get so out of hand?
It’s like a deformed form of torture and there’s no place for me to stand.
So while I try to dodge their master plan, I’ll try to climb out of this pit, any way I can.
But it seems I’m tied down and maybe in a cage, I’m sorry for getting so bad but these people always seem to fill me with rage.

Snaking you’re way into my being.
Pretending to be my friend why the **** are people so deceiving.
I’m not gunna waste my time grieving, all I want is to focus on leaving.
I’m not me and I want to gauge out their eyes.
Nail their eye sockets shut for bringing on my untimely demise.
So why don’t they stop hiding behind their misconstrued disguise?
I would hack your skull to pieces but there’s not enough time.
So as I hope they get the karma for the things they do, I’ll try not to suffer in these horrendous shoes.
I’d rip out your tongue so there’s no more lies.
But I can’t cause these people enough pain.
So get the **** away from me and rot starting from your insides.

My being is radiating with hate.
How will I escape?
I want to turn the page, but everything more or less stays the same.
Why does everyone treat life like a game?
If life isn’t a spiral, how are things ever supposed to change?
They say history repeats itself but I say that’s wrong.
Maybe that’s why I can never find comfort in songs.
Why can’t people see the beauty of life lies within?
And there’s no need to **** with people and commit so many sins.
I don’t know what the masquerade has planned but I’m not even trying to win.
I just need to get away because I can’t even find comfort within my own skin.
So as the days keep melting together I’ll try to hope that people see, there are so many answers and people are too consumed with hate and greed.

I guess hiding in my dreams gives me new scenery.
But some things are deceiving, will I ever find some peace?
Is my life still falling apart at the seams?
Or is there hope to construct a better reality?
Something tells me I’ll always be a lost soul.
Searching and wandering until death takes its toll.
I guess it’s not in my fate to have another to hold.
I guess I better find myself and rebuild what’s been done to my lost soul.

Maybe who you have feelings for isn’t the best bet.
At least I regained some feeling in my chest.
Love never works out for me I guess I should give it a rest.
Because no one could love a soul like me so damaged, sad and depressed.

With my eyes set on the shoreline, will I have to be worried about getting washed away in the tides?
I want to find meaning, and not have to hide.
But what I’ve been escaping is my untimely demise.
So as I wait to watch the flowers bloom, and escape the torment that took my life too soon.
I’ll hope I can find out what to do.
Until I can travel along the skyline into a brighter hue.

My reality is full of their contorted distortion.
How will I get used to the motion?
There’s so much that’s left unsaid,
And without being able to think straight they get the best out of what’s hidden in my chest and my head.
Is there hope to turn the tables?
I’m stumbling in the dark and becoming so unstable.
If I could turn the page I’d try to find the light,
But most of the good in life is out of sight.
Will I rid myself of the never ending strife?
Or will I keep leading back to the knife?
I know I don’t want that deed to be done,
But I can’t keep up with the stars and the sun.
I can’t break free from this and my only option seems like it’s to run.
I wish this was something I could overcome.

there is no beauty in this life.
the only salvation is running my wrists along the blade of the knife.
if what eats away at you body mind and soul doesn't **** you, it will **** away every ounce of the person you grew to be.
and life isn't suffering but no one can see.
you can't put others lives into the hands of your own and expect any sort of beauty or freedom to unfold.
maybe I've been waiting too long for a humane death to take it's toll.
but it's not in my fate and you people's bigoted ******* is getting so ******* old.

It seems the plot is still distorted.
These people must be demented because there’s no way in hell the same would be for it.
I find it hard to show truth.
But I’ve been lost for so long in the fact that my existence is so misconstrued.
So as I figure out what went wrong and where to go next,
I’ll try to regain my lost feelings in my chest.
As I hope that the plot doesn’t turn into more of a wreck.

This sequence is tiring.
Everyone's lying.
I'm stuck in hiding,
They won't stop denying,
That all of this is truly my fault.
But everything they say is coated in salt.
I guess i'm doomed by default.
It's only a matter of time till i finally fall.
But i'm stuck at rock bottom,
How much farther can i sink?
I don't know where i'm headed,
But this all happened in a blink.
So why won't they just leave me to suffer without their ******* nonsense.
I have nothing and it's clear so there's no way i'll find where the love is.
So as i wait to find my own saving grace.
I'll keep pulling my corpse through this as i try to wear a smile on my face.

Petty games.
Why is life filled with lies and senseless disdain.
I can't stay sane, because everyone's eyes are filled with hate and most people are the same with the masquerade they play.
So why can't i get out of the pit they dug?
Life makes no sense and most people are fake or smug.
I don't know why i always get trapped in their sequence, but it feels like something that should just get dismissed.
But instead it's my life that stays in remiss.
All of this nonsense is driving me insane.
I need to find a way out because i don't see life as this ****** up petty game.

The distortion never ends.
Too violated to mend.
I’d reverse castrate you for the disgust.
Why am I so stupid it’s clear my life is filled with distrust.
So as I think about drilling through your eyeball, I’ll think about how I wish you’d just end it all.
Leave me the **** alone and stop using me as your puppet.
But you’ve been doing this my whole existence, why do you love it?
Maybe one day I’ll off you myself.
But until then I’ll try not to mutilate myself from this petty disgusting hell.

Will I ever find my someday?
Will we feel one another’s warm embrace and gaze at the stars?
Or am I so lost that that kind of fate is too far?
Whatever my fate is I just hope that it comes soon, because I don’t know how much longer I can continue.

Am I as alone as the moon?
I guess I don’t make the seas sail smoothly so there might be more room for the gloom to consume.
Why do I even try?
It’s clear that I should just drown in the tides.
So why is life such a never ending battle.
Me against the masses. And I know to no one I’ll never matter.
So why is my being so scattered?
Maybe then I’d be more whole.
But it would only be a matter of time until death took its toll.
So what’s with the people who pretend to care?
I don’t need anything fake, it just clouds the air.
Meaningless encounters might be my fate.
I guess I’ll just never escape all of my naive mistakes.

Hate is emanating from my distrust.
I guess it's safe to say i've had enough.
I can't overcome all of their bluffs.
So why do they keep lying?
All of this is so one sided.
How many people will suffer before they're satisfied?
I hope it's not just me who notices that they're ruining the quality of life.
But i guess if i'm the odd one out, that's why i'm filled with so much doubt.
I guess time will tell if it'll just be my demise or some way out.
I just wish i could leave and not have any of this petty fuckery to worry about.

Why do I always get cast out on my own?Everything of value got ****** away, maybe that’s why I can’t find my way home. I just wish I didn’t have to spend so much time alone. But now all I’m left with is an empty heart made of stone.

Sick of the *******, and the endless petty lies.
Sick of you people dictating my life, and trying to choose when i die.
All of this is such a disgrace.
I will probably never again wear a genuine smile on my face.

What does anyone deserve? When this whole ******* town has proved to be the worst of the worst.
I hope you all crash and burn, but with all the lies will it ever be your turn?
Why can’t I inflict the most excruciating pain? For tearing my life apart at the seams and driving me insane.
No pain would ever suffice.
A mallet? A sledgehammer?
How can I bring your demise?
Is a tile cutter enough to cause you to beg for mercy?
Or would I need to blister your skin after with a blow torch for never letting me see clearly.
But none of this would ever be just.
Unless I drill into your eyes and rip them apart. Only to sawter out your heart.
But would any of this ever be enough?
Nothing will ever suffice because none of this people have anything but despicable distrust.
So as I fantasize about ways to get the job done, the only way is to brutally mutilate and dismember you all after blinding you. One by one.

Maybe some people look into the sides wrong.
Life isn’t something to string people along.
Why put the blame on others when something goes wrong.
And when things don’t work out in your favour why is causing harm the tune you sing along?
I may not have all the answers but I try to help.
Even when my karma causes me to dwell.
I’m not sure if I’m just a shell, but you can’t put peoples lives in the palms of your hands just to put them through a constant hell.

When you have no hope, and everyone's been waiting for you to choke, death is only a salvation if you're at the end of the road.
I've been trapped for too long, there's no comfort in songs or dreams.
Everyone keeps their wrong judgment and behaviour going so it's always my life falling apart at the seams.
None of this makes any sense, so i guess it doesn't matter what anyone thinks it means.
You don't torture someone their entire existence and expect them to see what your sadistic bigotry seems to be.
But when you're stuck in a hell hole it doesn't matter what's next.
Because all of you people's planning and pre determination makes me wish me and my consciousness would just ******* drop dead.
So ******* all to burn, you all took any feeling and logic that could ever unfurl.
I'm a shard of what you people decided i am. There's no part of me that i can see i ever was. There's no part of who i am left, just your despicable plan to leave me in the dust.
I don't get your petty mind games and need for control.
**** your parasitic army, there is nothing but your chaotic web of lies to unfold.

Plagued by the images in my head.
**** them all I’d rather be dead.
Their conniving game turned me into someone with little acceptance.
Now I’m left waiting for my death bed.
I’m losing respect for almost everyone I’ve encountered.
Slowly turning into a monster.
Why did they take it this far?
Just let me tear open my scars.
Because there’s no way in hell they’ll stop tearing me apart.

Are things looking up?
Or is it all deceiving?
Where did my feelings go?
I guess they’ll always be fleeting.
Where can I go to find more hope?
I’m not sure I know and I can’t let go.
So what’s next in this chapter of my life?
Whatever happens, I just hope I can get rid of this strife.

No torture could satisfy the thirst.
To torment you people for making this life the worst.
Every time before I was never in denial, I don’t know your lies but I was only a child.
To get even would be to **** you to the worst layer of hell.
Rotting and burning with no way out.
Feeling agonizing pain for the rest of eternity.
Is this why you keep me oblivious?
Because I can no longer fathom any peace life could ever bring.
So as I try to get used to the sting that the rest of my life will hold,
I’ll try not to think about my brutal death that you’re all dying to unfold.
So **** the ones who keep the lies going.
The world if not the universe is ****** and I have no desire to keep going.
I guess I know these people will never get What’s coming, because they put it onto others because they’ll never stop bluffing.
So as “evil” takes over I won’t care if it’s hell on earth, I don’t get why you want that but I hope whatever happens to you hurts worse.

maybe I thought he was a breath of fresher air.
call me what you want, but you're the biggest liar and hypocrite. can you even muster up the feelings to care?
I admit I'm not the smartest but it's possible to be trapped in melancholy and despair.
maybe that's why I'm more boring than wallpaper or a chair.
but at least I don't have the kind of decieving heart, that gives you what you need until all of your life falls apart.
I don't have it in me to lie if I care. and if I never did, then you were never there.
so in light of whatever the past was, I'll just forget the time we spent because it's clear that it was just a facade.
try to seem bigger by writing a page of text, and when I try to respond you've just up and left.
I guess you could say it was good while it lasted, but the way my life's been unfolding I'll be lucky to end up in a merciless casket.
so **** them all and ******* too.
it's no wonder you just disappeared because apparently even time spent with you is misconstrued.

There's little to no way out.
This isn't doubt.
I'm trapped in you people's petty lies.
Everyone always keeps their disguise.
But when they show their true colours, it's just a disgrace.
No wonder why you people hide your true face.
Why keep me with your given disorders?
You people ruined life itself, there is absolutely no order.
So as i try to get out of the mess you people call "life".
I'll wonder why i can't succumb to the knife.
Because all you people do is bring strife, and plan for people to suffer and not survive.

When everything always seems to leave.
What do you do to change the world you perceive?
Is there somewhere I could go with a little more hope?
I feel like by the end of this there will be a noose around my throat.
But I want to try to make this life count.
A change in the rhythm, maybe another sound.
So how can I live the life I’ve always dreamed of?
Something tells me I’m not enough.
So as I try to change things for the better, I’ll try to put together different letters and hope that in the future I’m more put together.

Snaking your way into my head.
There's no way to get out of you people's hellbent plan.
There's also no part of me inside.
So ******* all and your petty army of belligerent parasitic flies.

So much fuckery I just want to scream.
Why can’t all of this be just a bad dream?
My life for too long has been falling apart at the seams.
And I still can’t figure out what all of this means.
What kind of people leave someone so crippled in life?
It’s just a continuous struggle that’s just a ripple of strife.
I can’t even make anything of my contradicting life.
Because all anyone does is lead me to the knife.

The shots never cease.
I’m always burning from within.
Why didn’t I just not panic and let the sadness win.
I guess if you’re hopeless for too long nothing will ever be right.
But it doesn’t matter when it’s you against the mass and you can’t sleep through the night.
Why do I care so much about ounces of hope that come and go?
I guess that’s what happens when you’re always alone.
So as I try not to let them further damage my spirit, I’ll keep trying to be strong but death I still fear it.
I guess I’m nearing the final page, I guess it was always too late. If only I wasn’t so stupid and made such grave mistakes.

Why can’t I run away in my dreams?
When I wake up it’s never as it seems.
How can you tell the difference between reality and dreams?
Waking up in strange places and your life is falling apart at the seams.
I still can’t fathom what life means.
But I’m still going the distance being pushed back by my unsteady feet.