Where am I going?
I’m not sure.
All around there’s nothing but closed doors.
Can I escape these demons?
Or am I trapped for good?
More is going on than I think there should.
These days I’m such a mess.
All that’s left are minuscule feelings in my chest.
At least now it seems they’re giving it a rest.
I need to regain myself and be done with the rest.

Can you be my ray of light?
I’m in need of some sunlight.
I want to do away with the fright.
But I don’t want to fade away into the night.
So how will I watch the flowers bloom?
Or not feel alone in a crowded room?
I don’t want to let the doom consume.
Because I’m at a loss of what to do.
Will I ever reach the stars?
I’m so lost and I think it’s too far.
I just need to align with the sunrise.
So I won’t have to hide.
But I’m always left fearing my demise.
And hoping I won’t run out of time.
Is there hope to find someone to love?
I just want it to feel like the star dust from above.
But who could love such a lost and damaged soul?
This life has taken its toll.
All I could hope for is for someone to hold.
And let the rest of my life unfold.

What’s left of me?
Who am I becoming?
It feels as if I’m almost devolving.
A flower whose petals has been picked apart.
Don’t get me started because I don’t know what’s left of my heart.
If only I could learn how to bloom to be truly me.
But this life is deceiving and I’m always lost without a key.
So what’s left in this sequence, I can’t even see.
So I guess I’ll just keep trying to unfurl into a better me.

Life is tiring because all it ever is, is people tearing it apart.
There’s no hope to last, and lack of heart.
So how did it unfold into this merciless charade?
**** it all you people deserve to get slain.

And maybe I’m nearing the end, but i guess I was to hopeful waiting for a godsend.
Maybe I went off the rails trying to mend, but it hurts to find out my life was always pretend.
With deception around every corner it’s hard to find a friend to pass the time.
But at least there have been moments when I’ve got to witness the sun shine.
So as I wish I had a little more time, I’ll hope for my new precious soul, things will be more than just fine.

As I try not to think of the storm, I’ll try not to think about my being becoming so worn.
It’s a relief I’m no longer so torn.
But I can’t take the torment, what’s left in store?
Maybe I’m not golden but I still have a conscience.
Maybe I want to get up but I already lost it.
Maybe I want to breathe some life into my being, but this petty ******* makes everything hard to keep conceiving.
So as I try to pick myself up off the ground, I’ll try to find a happier sound.
Maybe I’ll find someone who wants me around.
But until then I’ll keep hiding until I’m found.

No control.
No soul.
My life is in everyone else’s hands.
Nowhere else I can stand.
Too many short hands.
It never ends.
To hell I guess they’ll all descend.
But the lies are their master plan.
Forcing me to live in their grasp.
Nothing good ever lasts.
I hope they rot and burn for all they planned.

Maybe I’ve done my fair share of sins.
But it doesn’t compare to what they did.
Turning a soft heart cold.
I knew I needed to melt my heart of stone.
But I didn’t know their fuckery would have taken that toll.
At least I’m healing my broken bones.
And I don’t mind so much about being alone.
I just wish I could travel along the city line.
Get lost at the waters edge not keeping track of time.
So I’ll try not to think about the arrival of my demise.
At least I’ll still get to witness the beauty of the sunshine.

Fragments of my being keep rearranging.
Why is it always me whose changing?
If i could shake the negativity i'd feel more free.
I don't even know what it is to be truly me.
So i guess i'll try to hide in my dreams.
Because my life already fell apart at the seams.
And i'm struggling to breathe.
So as i try to regain what makes me feel whole.
I'll try not to think about my lack of soul.
As i hope i don't pay the final toll.

Reminiscing of the better days.
I know you didn’t want me to stay.
But you were the light of my life, and everything felt right.
Never having a harder night.
I know we haven’t spoken in years,
And I have a whole lot of new fears.
But you made me feel at home,
And now I’m left with a heart of stone.

There is no more good locked inside this vessel.
Just a hateful corpse dragging whatever’s left through life.
I guess it was only a matter of time until I no longer cared.
None of this makes sense, when will I reach my last breath of air?
I want to rip my veins right out of my arms.
I feel nothing and that kind of agony would do less harm.
People play god and don’t care about the consequences.
But what if there’s no way out? It’s their lives they should have ended.
Isn’t that what mass murders are usually about?
**** it I guess I’m past just a mess there’s no reason for anymore doubt.

Maybe i'm too consumed in this seemingly catastrophic mess.
What seems like life or death to me is more or less a game to them but i swear i'll never pretend.
So i guess what's left is to try to be stronger and mend.
But this kind of life is ridiculous to me and i hope this never happens to anyone again.
Maybe i'm too weak, but i say that they're blind.
By power, evil and greed all being consumed by their mind.
So is there any hope to turn my luck around?
This has been going on for too long, i just need another sound.
But with all of these hues slowly melting together, a once vibrant rhythm has turned into a darkened and tethered leather.
So as i try to find a way to bring the pieces back together,
I'll try to hold on a little longer and hope for some better weather.

I guess I seem selfish but life isn’t a game.
You don’t **** away the good and drive people insane.
So as I hope everyone stops this ******* sequence, I’ll wonder how you all turned into something so awful it’s not even evil.
There’s no logic, or any common sense.
All you people do is leave people in a wreck.
So as I helplessly crawl past hoping this breath isn’t my last, I’ll hope you all have an awakening no matter how crude because it’s me against the mass.

Go ahead and take credit for the marionette you’ve made of my being.
You people are rotten and I only want to see you bleeding.
So go ahead and base everything on lies.
Things like this don’t let you shine.
You’re just a cult with every made up disguise, to get what you want no matter the price.
Well it’s ******* lovely that this ends in my demise.
But you all deserve to be in chains waiting to get beaten and sliced.
So as I can’t be the person who could have made things right by ending your cycle of cruel and petty lies. Your stories never add up, but if I’m aware I’ll call your bluff.
I think this is too much and you all think it’s not enough.
Let me slit your mouth to your stomach cause that’s still not enough blood.

Faces come and go, I’ve lost almost all my hope.
Will I ever have anyone I can count on?
I guess I’ll have to find another song.
But everything I do and say is wrong.
And I have no idea how I’m still going on.
I’m stuck drowning in a sea of misery and hate.
If only I could find a way to escape.
But no ones around, just locked gates.
Maybe one day I’ll come across someone with a smile on their face.
So until I find new scenery,
I’ll try to figure out what it means to be truly me.

Trapped in you people's lies, which brings on whoever you see fits demise.
There's no joy in sunlight, and by the moon i'm running out of time.
So what makes me you people's petty sacrifice?
This is all some parasitic morbid play, that only drives you more insane by the day.

Being hated my whole life.
So why do I care?
I don’t care if I succumb to the knife.
Life is too unfair.
I’m done.

This place is like a disease.
Parasites spreading their petty poison.
Where did the good come from?
Probably preying on the weak.
This is all so bleak.
So as I try to break free from their slimy grasp, I’ll try not to be involved with their disposable plans.
None of this will ever be justifiable.
I guess they’ll all keep living in some narcissistic denial.
As I hope the ones who are still deserving don’t end up hurting.

I just want to get lost gazing at the stars,
Go on a drive and hope the destination isn’t too far.
Watch the sun rise and maybe the sunset too.
But I don’t know where I’m going, not one clue.
So as I try to find some beauty in this seemingly chaotic world, I’ll keep waiting to witness something beautiful unfurl.
But what’s left in the mess of my life?
I don’t want it to be this way but I have to keep my wrists away from the knife.

The pieces are rearranging, I just wish I could get stuck in a daydream.
All of this seems a little crazy, and it’s hard to fathom why everyone hates me.
So how do I put myself back together?
I don’t even feel right in my favourite sweater.
I don’t want to treat everyone as just a letter, but I try and try and I don’t think I’m getting better.
So I guess I’ll just hide in my sleep, as the lulling of whiskey puts me at ease.

My world is filled with hate.
I don’t know if I’ll ever escape.
I have little room to grow,
Why did they dull me so?
Where is it that I stand?
This plan is becoming so dispicibly bland.
Can I get away from their grasp?
I’m only one person, and the masquerade almost always has the upper hand.
Why did everything unfold in such a horrendous manner?
If only my being weren’t so shattered.

What happened to the love locked inside my chest?
I’m aching for another’s touch but I can’t fathom what will happen next.
I feel so trapped and there’s nothing for me here.
I miss the feelings I once had but there are no more tears.
So as I try to pick myself up and brush off the debris from my misconstrued fate.
I’ll try harder to gain what I lack, as I try to escape.

Can't get away from those who planted seeds in my head.
There is no good, only dread.
Life is too tiring when it's you against the mass.
I don't care anymore which breath is my last.
So as i hope you all burn from robbing me and others of our lives,
I'll try to stay calm as i hope you all leave me alone and stay completely out of sound and sight.

Cold and alone.
I can’t withstand these brittle bones.
I have no place to go.
No friendly faces, just foes.
Why do people pretend to care?
I’m gasping for air.
Drowning in this mess.
Lost more feeling in my chest.
Is it gone for good?
I feel far less than anyone should.
I just want to escape.
As I hope for a better day.

Trapped in this body.
Will I ever be set free?
What happened to my soul?
It’s exactly what I need.
Life is turning to a darker hue.
What is going on? I’m getting sick of this debut.
So as I try to figure out what to do, I’ll try to keep the same shoes, and hope that things get less misconstrued.

Where do I go where I won’t be watched?
The serpents watch my every breath why won’t it stop?
Get the **** out of my head.
Everyone involved just wants me dead.
It goes both ways so stop acting like this.
Why let me win to throw my life into remiss?
Just because I lost everything doesn’t mean I want back what you gave.
My feelings were always mine, so stop playing these games.
I’m only one person so how the **** can I get away?
This torment is demented and I just wish there were another way.
I guess life can be chaotic, but it’s never one against the world.
Why do you need an army to tear apart my being?
There’s nothing of mine left and all you people are is deceiving.
So as I try not to sink further I’ll hope it’s the truth you start conceiving.
If I had it my way I’d gather my things and never look back cause nothing will ever be okay if I don’t focus on leaving.

It feels like I’m blind no matter what path I take.
Sometimes I come across friendly faces but now it feels like it was all fake.
All of this feels like a petty masquerade.
And every time I start to get up, I realize it’s only my life at stake.
What did I do to deserve this kind of fate?
I’m not the only one at fault but somehow they can only see me with blame.
so as the days go by I find that I feel a lot of shame.
Maybe it’s because of all the lies they tell, no one cares, it’s all the same.
So while they bury all the evidence and get their stories straight,
I’ll just hope I’m ready when I’m at the final stakes.

I can't take this life anymore.
There's no way to settle the score.
I wasn't asking for much, and they **** me over so much more.
Now i'm nothing but a worthless bore.
I'm in a sociopathic state, i can't even fathom hate.
There doesn't seem like a way i could escape.
I feel like i'm tied down and locked in a cage.
I don't have any hope for a better day.
**** them all, i'm going insane.
Why can't i just move past the torment?
I guess it's cause they won't let anything lie dormant.
I want to tear my organs right out of my being.
Be done with this ******* but i'm having trouble seeing.
Why did i have to sink so low?
I'm worse than them and in this life there's nowhere else i can really go.

It seems i might have found myself.
But this heartache is making me weak.
But it feels nice to feel.
Will i ever find something real?
Or will i be stuck clicking my heels wondering when i'll find my way home?
I guess until i find my someday, i'll be left out in the pouring rain.

Maybe sometimes life fills you with hope.
But i always feel like i'm going to choke.
It's like i'm walking on a tightrope.
And no place really feels like home unless i'm alone.
So how do i find some meaning to last?
I'm not ready to make this breath my last.
Maybe one day the stars will align and i won't feel like i'm running out of time.
But thoughts of my demise come creeping back in, and i feel like there's no way in hell i can ever win.
So what is it like to breathe easy and have something worthwhile?
I've been lost for so long that i can't tell if i'm in denial.
So as i try to find something that makes me feel alive.
I'll try to feel something so maybe one day i'll have it in me to thrive.

Its a deceiving plot.
So why am I always distraught?
It’s always ignorance that’s bought.
It’s the truth that I’ve always sought.
And now I can’t tell how much time’s on the clock.
So where do I go in this melancholic ocean?
I don’t know where I am and I’m losing devotion.
It seems like lately everything’s been so scattered.
And I’ve been having trouble climbing the latter.
Every time I stand up I get pushed into a pit.
And I don’t really have any place to sit.

Prying into my life and destroying anything that ever held any meaning to me, like a parasite who can't stop feeding.
I can't decide whether i should try to be strong or focus on leaving.
But this is such a petty game, worse than the masquerade.
I feel a strong sense of shame.
And all of this just keeps getting worse by the day.
How can i figure out how to rearrange the fabric of my being, to one i can handle feeling and seeing?
i know i won't end up grieving, because as people come and go, they always end up leaving.
It's just a cluster of fuckery that keeps getting blown at me, like a machine gun that won't stop reloading.
Where the **** am i even going?
If i could find a way out i would take it.
**** the masquerade and this parasitic worm just fakes it.
How can you live your life feeding on the weak?
I guess i need to dust myself off and just try to breathe.
But i'm losing here and the alliance is too hateful.
I don't know if i care anymore i just wish i could turn the tables.

Will i ever find another sound in the airwaves?
This petty tragedy is driving me insane.
And i'm left wondering if there's hope for another day.
Is there another way?
Or will i be kept more so in a sociopathic state?
Most of the time i'd rather be dreaming than awake.
Because people come and go, and no one ever stays.
But what feelings are locked away deep inside?
It keeps getting stolen so i guess i should just hide.
I feel like i'll always be thinking about my demise.
Because nothing will bring my true self back, not even sunlight.
So why was i almost always unaware about the fight?
I'm so blinded by all of this that it seems like there are only enemies in sight.
So as i try to brush off the ashes of this mess.
I'll try to be happy and do away with the stress.
If only i could regain what was once locked inside my chest.
Maybe then i could find someone and be done with all of the tests.

Can’t get used to being used.
I have no idea what to do.
Do I even have the strength to continue?
I don’t think my mind can keep me going.
It used to be my feelings that were always showing.
Now it’s the fear that things won’t work out, so how do I keep going?
So as I keep hope close, I’ll try not to choke.
And try not to believe in the lies the masquerade tells, as I try to get out of this subliminal hell.

Why won’t you give your childish games a rest?
I’m sick of this nonsense ******* and the given stress.
What the **** do you people have planned next?
My life is the product of this mess, or maybe this stress unfolded how awful things can really get.
So why s it always me against the mass?
There’s no hope for any good to last.
I don’t see the point in having orchestrated masks.
Or why my life ending is the solution to your plans.
So go to hell or rot and burn, you’ve all robbed me of any self worth.

Lost soul.
Where’s the woe?
Is it time to find a change of scenery?
For too long I’ve felt that the problem is me.
If only I could learn how to see.
Maybe I could find the pieces of me that make me who I really am.
But as time goes on I can’t tell where I stand.
I want to bloom into the person I should be.
But I’ve been losing touch and becoming someone I could never see as me.
So as I try to find a brighter hue, I’ll hope that things get less misconstrued.
But I’m always lost and searching for my shoes, I guess I’ll have hope that the darkness makes way for a clearer view.

My being is radiating with hate.
How will I escape?
I want to turn the page, but everything more or less stays the same.
Why does everyone treat life like a game?
If life isn’t a spiral, how are things ever supposed to change?
They say history repeats itself but I say that’s wrong.
Maybe that’s why I can never find comfort in songs.
Why can’t people see the beauty of life lies within?
And there’s no need to **** with people and commit so many sins.
I don’t know what the masquerade has planned but I’m not even trying to win.
I just need to get away because I can’t even find comfort within my own skin.
So as the days keep melting together I’ll try to hope that people see, there are so many answers and people are too consumed with hate and greed.

So crippled I can barely stand.
******* people and all of your plans.
Why don’t I bury your face in the sand,
Stick a stone under your teeth and stomp in your head.
But wait isn’t that your plan?
Right I didn’t see it coming so I guess this is my short hand.
No that’s not how it works.
You people deserve to be left in the dirt.
I’d incinerate your organs after carving your skin.
To try to see if you’re all as ugly within.
All you people make me want to do is sin.
But I can’t **** you because I don’t always know who it is.
So as I dream of ******* nails into your eyeballs and carving out your face, for all the petty ******* that show you’re all a disgrace.
I’ll try to get out of this demented “race” this isn’t life. You don’t **** all the good away and hide your true face.

Autumn is here, I’m somehow doing fine without you near.
But I still hide from the fear.
Maybe with the cooler breeze, I’ll be able to see, what all of this nonsense really means.
And maybe someday find it easier to breathe.
But they ignore my pleas.
Forcing me to grieve.
Over my own life lived by others perceptions of how they see who they believe is me.
But who am I with all of these disorders?
It’s impossible to see because they have me cornered.
Maybe not so much cornered but rearranged.
This is all so strange, not to mention deranged.
I just wish I could brush off the debris but I’m in their hate filled cage.

Too many disorders, why is everyone so corrupt?
There's no sense in this mess.
Hasn't everyone had enough?
You people are parasites who feed off of the weak.
I don't know what there is to do, but life is sadistically and unfortunately bleak.

You people's bigoted sadism is pathetic.
I'm left a wreck from the pettiness you play.
**** all of these parasites and their senseless games.

Why give anyone the satisfaction?
It's like my whole existence is rationed.
What was really mine to begin with?
I honestly don't care anymore because i'll never be missed.
What was the point in figuring out a new way to coexist?
Why the **** did i ever care i'm always left for dead and my whole existence is in remiss.
So **** it i guess i just want to shoot myself dead.
Because a lifetime of suffering isn't worth all of these thorns in my head.

What’s with the growing web of lies?
If you can’t be yourself, why wear a disguise?
I’d sever myself from being tied to your slimy grasp.
But I can’t break free so what the **** is next?
Why is everything always contorted distortion?
Why is deception your game?
It’s a ****** up notion.
So as I hope I can get out of this demented cycle, I’ll hope the liars stop living in denial.
Because a life based on lies can’t be sustained.
Unless you only want problems the truth should remain.

Lost in this web of chaotic lies.
It’s clear they used me to create every disguise.
So why is all they care about my demise?
I can’t even feel alive in the sunlight.
And so the plot continues to get more distorted.
Recreating themselves is what cause my being to become so contorted.
So what is “all of the work” that they “don’t want to be for nothing”?
I’m still not bluffing.
It’s my consciousness that’s torn.
And my being that’s become so worn.
There will never be a way to even the score.
Because they always wanted too much, I just wanted to be myself, nothing more.
So I guess it’s been misconstrued my whole existence.
I’m a waste of space and life should never turn out like this.

I want to pull the trigger.
These problems seem to linger.
I can’t just live my whole life in the shadows, always fighting a losing battle.
I guess everyone’s more sick of me than I am of them.
But I still can’t stop thinking of how I want all of this to end.
They never let me break free from their grasp.
I guess that’s why happiness never lasts.
So as I keep pulling through to my merciless demise,
I’ll keep wondering why I wanted more time.

I know it’s been hard but nothing makes sense. I want to keep you close, you’re a part of me, while they all want me dead. So **** these people and their bigoted conniving plans. Nothing will ever make sense and apparently it’s only them who decides where I stand. So while I try to dodge my predetermined fate, I’ll try to get away; maybe make a lot less grave mistakes. For you I always want the best but it seems I’m inept. So **** these petty tyrants, they should be the ones for whom it ends in death.

The scenery seems dull no matter how i try to see.
I don't know what to do because life is petty slavery.
So what's left in time?
All i can see is my demise.
And the lack of time that never fails to show.
And my lack of mercy and will to grow.
So as i come to terms with petty sorrow.
I'll try to keep an open mind, but there isn't much good left in tomorrow.

Losing my mind, this life is nothing but misconstrued blackened hues.
Why the **** does everyone cover up truth and trade shoes?
I want no part in this mess.
If I could I’d get myself back and be done with this forced petty distress.
If I could see the stars in the sky, maybe I wouldn’t think so much about my lack of time.
I can’t even appreciate the sunshine.
Because all anyone wants is my demise.

Maybe who you have feelings for isn’t the best bet.
At least I regained some feeling in my chest.
Love never works out for me I guess I should give it a rest.
Because no one could love a soul like me so damaged, sad and depressed.

Why is there always some sort of petty hidden plan? There’s no logic involved so where the **** do I stand? I know I don’t always think clearly, or maybe not at all. But all of this conniving fuckery just ends in my never ending brutal fall. I don’t know where this path will take me but there never was a key. I don’t know what to do because I’ll probably never be able to see.