Every feeling I ever feel gets washed away in the tide.
Maybe that’s why I mostly hide.
Maybe that’s why I never want to heal.
Because all I want to do is feel.
But I feel like just a shell.
And all I can do is dwell.
Just an empty heart with nothing to hold onto.
Empty eyes that see nothing but their lies.
Everyone in every disguise.
And I feel nothing.
This vessel feels like an abyss.
No chance to ever feel bliss.
Maybe that’s why my life is in remiss.
Always the enemy.
Will there ever be a friend to see?
Cast out on my own.
My once heavy heart that turned into stone, became empty and now I’m on my own.
I miss feeling woe and sorrow.
I feel like I’ll always be alone.
With no place of my own, will I ever find a place to call home.
I wish I had some place else to go.
But until I get myself back, I’ll have no good behind my eyes.
And I’ll keep wishing that people will stop believing their lies.
As I try not to drown in the mess of my life.

Where am i going?
Everything keeps changing.
I get lost in the days.
I can't tell if i'm going insane.
What will happen in these passing days?
I just want to break free, but it's something that's hard to conceive.
So why are things still so misconstrued?
I feel like i was born to lose.
I just want to find something true.
But what's there left to do?
I guess i need to figure out what to do, while i find my shoes.
As i keep my eyes along the skyline to search for a brighter hue.

Why do I try? No one ever cares. My whole existence was planned and their only answer is that “life isn’t fair” why don’t you try going through this with no way to think. I don’t care anymore this is ******* insane

It never seems to end, and I’m made out to be insane.
This is ridiculous I can’t take all of these conniving games.
What is all of “this work”?
It’s leaving me disturbed.
I need to find a way out.
But there’s too much doubt.
Why do they keep going?
There’s no point to the future they’re unfolding.
Everything in my eyes is more or less chaotic.
So many people are seemingly psychotic.
The masquerade is past the point of an alliance.
There’s too much bad karma and all they do is deny it.
What’s with this facade?
It’s more than just a hoax.
It’s more of a charade, it seems everyone whose clairvoyant never stops the game.
So why is all of this past the point of fixing?
Is it only my life they’ve been nixing?
I don’t get why this is happening I just hope those who have suffered because of these renegades, find peace in a brighter shade.

I don’t know where I am but I feel like I’m living in hell.
I don’t know what to do because nothing ever really works out.
If only I didn’t have so many doubts in myself.
Maybe then I wouldn’t always dwell.
I can’t tell if I’m more than just a shell.
But the things I see makes my life feel like I’m cursed.
I wish I could find truth so things could work.
Instead I’m left dragging my body through the dirt.
Trying to run away from the fear and the hurt.
I just wish I had my feelings and pain, feeling like who I am keeps me from going insane.
Am I stuck here? Or is there a way out?
I don’t know what I’m doing but there’s so much doubt.

Where am I going?
I’m not sure.
All around there’s nothing but closed doors.
Can I escape these demons?
Or am I trapped for good?
More is going on than I think there should.
These days I’m such a mess.
All that’s left are minuscule feelings in my chest.
At least now it seems they’re giving it a rest.
I need to regain myself and be done with the rest.

My whole being is corrupt.
Could things get any more ******?
It seems like the whole ******* universe is out to get me.
All I tried to do was work on myself and be myself but no one really ever lets me.
It’s past the point of fixing.
Everything that’s true they make worse, it’s my whole existence they’ve been nixing.
So why can I only use these typed out letters?
I’m useless and logic never works, common sense just makes them worse.
Why are people so conniving and rude.
I always had the idea of death in my head, because there’s no way to fix this or my life or existence so what the **** is the difference if I end up dead?
Why the **** is so much wrong with my being and what’s going on in my head?
They’re like a ****** up cult that pick apart your weaknesses until you have nothing left.
Weaseling their way in for their own sick gain cause they could care less about who ends up dead, how by now am I not completely insane?
It’s all a hoax, it’s turning into some morbid joke.
I feel like tying theses ***** up with rope, nail their eyeball into the socket and make them bleed out for all the torment.
But I guess I’m completely ******, because these ******* are all somehow loved.
And I’m the one whose always hated.
There’s probably no way to evade it.
I can’t even escape this cesspool of a town or get out of this twisted cycle.