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Jacqui Dec 2014
A life with you seems so perfect to me,
I feel your arms around me and know it’s meant to be.
The smile that stretches across my face when you’re around
And the way you make my laugh sound.
A day with you is more than I could need,
But a lifetime with you sounds so amazing to me.
Whispering in your ear every single day,
Holding you when there is nothing left to say.
I would love to be there when life is more than you can handle,
I’ll be your warmth, your fire, the match to light your candle.
A world lays beneath my fingertips,
But it would not feel right without your name on my lips.
As I journey throughout life,
As I experience all its beauty,
All I can hope is that with you and I will be,
As a life without you is not one I want to see.
12/11/14
Jacqui Dec 2014
When you are gone
the wind will be silent.
All I will hear is the pound of my heart
like the branches on the window.
It will beat harder than before
and I will feel the pain twice as hard.
I will miss you.
My heart will  find its home in my stomach.
The laugh that falls from my mouth will be one that leaves an aching pain
as I use to share my laughter with you.
As I lay in my bed all alone
and know that you are not coming back,
I will tuck the pillows around me so my sleeping soul thinks of you.
Only then will I fall asleep.
When they ask about you,
I will smile and carry on.
As that is what I do.
But everyday, oh everyday I will miss you.
12/2/14
Jacqui Nov 2014
I’m hung up on a guy that is still in love with you,
Tell me how you did it so I can know what I should do.
Should I call him every night or should I forget about my phone?
Should I laugh at all his jokes or should I make him laugh alone?
You had him by a string, you lead him right along,
And now he’s afraid of me, afraid that I might be gone.
He doesn’t want to get too attached, because of what you have done to him,
So I play games with my heart because of you leaving on a whim.
I don’t know what to do with a boy that is hurt, as I dance around the feelings trying to not be short.
I don’t want to make it seem like I don’t really care, but I don’t want him to run when I start to get near.
He gave is all to you, he loved with all his heart,
And you crushed it, and maimed it and took it all for you,
And none is left for me, so tell me, what is it should I do?
11/30/14
Jacqui Nov 2014
As sunshine reenters into my heart,
and love warms my soul,
my mind fills with the thoughts of you.
Forgotten times of love and triumph,
I kind of forget how to feel,
Been numb for so long that the happiness must break down the thick walls I have built up.
But the pieces of the wall will not be crushed to rubble,
as they might be needed again.
They will be placed in a pile if things need to go back to the way they've been.
As the wall gets taken down slowly,
and the sun graces the unseen ground for the first time in a long time,
the ground begs for the sun to stay,
as it feels so good to be so warm.
For once.
11/17/14
Jacqui Nov 2014
The records played as I lay next to you,
your heart beat was all that I wanted to hear.
The music sinking in to our veins
and the soft touch of your lips
provides a feeling I do not want to forget.
The way our fingers intertwined
and the witty comments bolted back and forth.
The romantic gesture of holding hands,
but the holding back of being just friends.
As the months grow colder as you distance from me,
My gloves become the one to warm my hands.
The fire is on the stove and no longer in my heart.
I see the leaves fall as we walked together, as I fell for you the same.
As the ground frosts,
my heart begins to become numb,
and the feelings I once felt are a distance memory.
Ones that cannot be replayed without the help of the record from that day,
when we intertwined and the music trapped my soul,
and things were easy
and no second guesses.
and I began to fall like the leaves from the tree.
11/4/14
Jacqui Oct 2014
These paper cuts are the reminders that I'm still alive
that I still feel pain that isn't in my head.
To feel an ache outside your heart,
rushing the blood through your body.
A strange reassurance.
My brain gets the signal that something isn't right.
To the source of the pain, to fix it.
My body works wonders.
My body is wonderful.
If this could work like on my mind.
If my brain could rush to the source of the pain and work endlessly to fix it,
to avoid infection.
But the problem is in my mind,
my brain receives an error message.
A problem that cannot be fixed without rebooting.
These paper cuts give me a strange comfort,
that I am alive.
And make it seem okay,
that something so small,
can hurt so much.
10/21/14
Jacqui Sep 2014
I hope your days are going well
and that your nights are going strong.
I hope your days keep you busy
and that you do not think of me.
That you go through each day doing what feeds your heart.
I hope you make new friends and that you make them laugh
Kinda like you use to make me.
But as you drive in your car, that song comes on,
I know you'll think of me.
Of my singing and my smiles and when the happiness radiated from the center of my soul.
Of the way I looked when I was scared but how it would escape from me when love crossed my path.
But when you get the call from your friend,
I hope I pass out of your mind.
I hope you enjoy your nights and they turn into morning,
but when that last sip of alcohol hits your lips,
and exhaustion becomes inevitable,
you'll wish I was there to help you sleep and keep you warm through your drunken rumbles,
I hope that the wind beats against your window as you drift slowly to sleep
and that you grasp the pillow as you wish it was me.
As you awake from your slumber,
you think I am there
and my perfume graces your nose from my spot in your bed.
As you awaken to your tight grasp on your pillow,
you hold even harder and inhale even deeper,
for you know that my smell will not resonate there much longer.
I hope that as you drift off to sleep in a bed that is all yours,
you sleep peacefully and smile when I enter your dreams.
It is easier at night, for I am not there.
You are able to gently fall asleep without my constant chatter and endless turning.
But when there comes a night that you lie awake
and the wind is silent
and you are left with your thoughts
I hope you'll think of me
and you will long for one last smell of my perfume
and one last word as you drift to sleep.
I hope your days are easy
and your nights are too.
9/30/14
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