I looked at him,
And he was so beautiful.
The way his eyes told me a story
The way his eyes told me the truth.

I looked at her,
And she was so beautiful.
The way her hair flicks of her shoulders,
The way her hair hid half of her insecure face.

As I looked at him,
I knew I needed him.
Everyday,
Every night.

As I looked at her,
I knew I wanted to be with her.
Everyday,
Every night.

I don't know what he thinks of me,
Or even what I think of myself.

I don't know what she thinks of me,
Or even what I think of myself.

All I do know is,
I love how he makes me feel.
Effortless,
Graceful.

All I do know is,
I love how she makes me feel.
Reckless,
Hopeful.

But yet,
I am always sad
I am not with him,
And probably never will be.

But yet,
I am sometimes sad,
We are not together,
And probably never will be.

Time isn't wasted at the end of the day
When you're in bed thinking about all the things
You could've done,
You could've said,
All the empty boxes left on your to do list

Time is wasted
When you're standing on a rock at the edge of a waterhole
And decide to not jump
When you're sitting in your car trying to justify reasons
For not going in
When you anxiously hit backspace
Instead of expressing how you truly feel
When you ignore your heart that's screaming
"You deserve better."

It's lost in I could have and I should have,
In missed opportunities,
In letting fears override judgement

Time is not necessarily wasted
In passing minutes, months, years
We waste time by
Counting seconds,
And by letting seconds pass
When we could've made
Those seconds count

there is this boy
I admire
with blue eyes I can
analyze endlessly
and his smile is described
as a little source of my happiness

there is this boy
I admire
who's quietness makes him
oddly attractive
and also when he fiddles with
his hair at times

there is this boy
I admire
whom in his eyes I don't exist
and in his eyes he seeks for another
and that other won't ever be me
but as long as he's happy
I'm okay
(c.r)

i'm not there for when you wake up in the morning
                                      you're eyes crinkle because of the sun
                                      you hum quietly whilst walking
                                      you laugh so hard your stomach hurts
                                      you smile in return of a compliment
                                      you bite your lip in act of nervousness
                                      you wake up from a nightmare
                                      you cry as you're having a bad day
                                      you are truly happy
                                      

i also won't be there as you take your last breath
and i wouldn't know if it was a sigh of relief or pain.
*c.r

Talking twenty-four-seven
Kissing like there's no end
Being around your presence all the time
And you say we're just friends.

You forbid me to see other guys
Yet I could just see jealousy in your eyes
Wanting to be my only one
Then you toss me away, is that so wise?

Crossing the lines of being protective
With me, you're just beyond possessive
But when we get down to business,
**** you're more than aggressive.

But the way your eyes travel around me
How your hands linger all over my body
Doing the exact same routine twice a week
Making love, just friends, steadily.

One night you treat me like a princess
And the morning I wake up you say I'm a mess
We've got to stop this, whatever this is
We're too loose, fragile, and reckless.

And aside from our enclosed relationship
We still manage to keep a friendship
But whenever you mention your other "friends"
It just makes my heart rip.

Within our complications and misfits
We're still each other's favourites
And you say we're just friends?
I'm tellin' you, that's bullsht.

-djs