What I don't understand is why you think
I'm such gold and treasure
I'm not as special as you think
I'm not the girl you think I am
I'm just a girl who yet needs to learn how to love herself before she can ever love anybody else

You believe you're in love with
                                                        who I am
                                         what I am
but you're just confused
just as I'm confused
with the love you think you have for me
I find it beautiful how someone can think they're in love with me
                          the idea of me

You believe you're in love with me because
of the way
           I listen
the way
                         we share the same opinions
but some opinions aren't correct for others just like you and I are for each other

I know a boy can never love me
as much as you love me
and I know where the future holds with me saying    
     "I should have taken him when he loved me"
but it is for the best and all I can say is thank you for loving me when no other boy          can

I don't know how to end this poem
just as
                I don't know how to end your love for me

j.f

I hate myself
more than a lobster hates boiling water
which is impossible
the boiling water kills the lobster
but just like the boiling water going into the lobsters skin boiling everything inside
is how slowly im taking my own life
with every scar I leave on my skin


    that is how much I hate myself  

j.f

Tricked myself into loving an image I created
someone I
    wanted you to be
and now
            I'm here leading you on
which is not only breaking you but me
it's not me being selfish
    because
I care about your happiness more than mine
but I think
    it was only to apologize for trying to change you into something you're not
and I don't want to leave you
    because I feel like you need me
but I got to think of my happiness too
and I'm not sure if that means I'm in love with you
or
  just

pitiness

j.f

You're still the last thing on my mind
before I go turn off the lights
to go crawl under my warm blankets
and I know
that I really don't love you
but I just enjoy saying I do
because you were different than other girls
made me feel wanted
made me feel special
but
what I didn't know is that I'm already wanted and special
just like you
and the sad part is that
I didn't need you
I just simply wanted you
and I accidentally confused that with love

j.f

Satan is not this red guy
with pointy horns coming out of it's head
holding a pitchfork with it's left hand
he's just a beautiful soul
misunderstood
and
mistaken as an evil creature

j.f