Split me in two
Very unequal portions
Of who I am, who always was
And who I'm tryin to be
Forgetting the world that
Made this way
And welcoming the world that
Is making me that way
Saying goodbye to you
And saying good morning to them
Oh but the misery of when I hear your voice
And want your sweet caressing lips
Entwined with mine in a forever kinda moment
I can't write enough poems
I can't write my heart out enough
It's all out there
It's there for you to see
Come find me

A desperation grows with every diminshment
Of what once was me to a soldering ash
As the boundaries that kept me afloat
Vanish into a cloud of poisonous smoke
I draw you in with my tongue
Yet warn you away with my eyes

I wish so much to hold you close to my heart
Yet I fear your presence and wish you to be gone
I want you to change faces to the one that I loved
The one that I yearn for, that I am dying for
Yet I don't want that either for I fear it will lead
To my demise as the sweetness on your breath
Is bitter on mine, the sourness seeping in
And so I blow it out with medicine in my lungs
My only release aside from my impending doom

I want for all my troubles to subside
But instead I prayed yours to be put on me
And here I stand a man of my word
Watching you frolic, your hand entwined with another's
While I ponder the necessity of my life
And find it to be pointless, worthless
How can on be loved and love in return
When they don't love themselves?
When they question why they are a piece of a picture
Solely because they were a let down, a lesser?

With a troubled sigh and a nodding head
I close this fraction of my thoughts with this
Perhaps the sun is only beautiful when it shines on you
But is devilishly deceptive when its glorious glow
Is directed towards those around you

I just wish that my heart wasn't a star
Still shining bright to those that see it
But dead millions of years ago
Something to be wisheded upon
In the careless, childish folly of daily life

Such as making wishes
Pointless beacons of unrequited hope
That drives us as souls to the brink of sanity
And for some, such as the wanderer that I am
It drives us over that invisible boundary
And banishes us to an unfathomable pit

This pit, generalized as depression, insanity
Is seen with similarity amongst pits
Yet no pit is equal to another
Each is unique, special to and hated by its owner
Yet it is seemingly inescapable
And thus loved from necessity

And those who pass us by want to help
Offer a hand to pull us from the pit
But every outreached hand reaches a little deeper
And the abyss of life likewise deepens
Until you have no choice but to fill it

And filling such a whole is no simple task
First a pail of confidence is added
And then several more of momentum
As the hole begins to fill a hunger to heal forms
Where you overemphasize the process
And forget the reason

Thus the devilish being opens its jaws
And swallows every pail you have placed upon it
And mistakes your action for hope
And once more deepens exponentially

So here I lay, contemplating the treachery
That my life has slowly devolved into
And I have to question to myself
Do the stars in the sky hang so low
Because they feel the death of their brother inside me?

A table is set for hundreds
In the chambers of my dying heart
At which is to be sat many a notable guest
Lonely, Sad, Fearful, and Disgusted too
Where they are to converse on the goings on
At a mile a minute all together
A harmonious blare of monotony
Where which each conversation is sensible
Yet together is disjointed, annoying
Me being the willing fool with a broken heart
Tried to listen in to find my ear sadly unattuned
To the discourse of utmost importance
I guess it's a part of living dead

Whispered words in the dead of night
Break the abysmal silence
*in due time, weary traveler
You'll forget why you were in anguish
You'll forget why you came here to me
But you'll never forget the lessons from your stay

Meadow bowing down
To the King of the Winds
Praising Him for His almighty service
The birds sing His holy hymns
While the clear blue depth acts as His throne
The heat of the sun turns the pale faces
Of dancing cherubins to a light rosy tone
And the flowers grow magnificently

Far back behind the trees
Swaying ever so slightly, yet mostly still
A cold stream trickles past, tickling the landscape
Here the shade and light becomes a paradox
Where colors are displayed with such depth and beauty
And the leaves branching out as an umbrella
Save us from the approaching storm

The energy and tension building up
I can feel the electricity in the air
As if my heart were connected to a battery
But the ominous buckets approach with their angry growls
And I can see the grimace on its face
I've seen it on my face, in the mirror
I've seen the buckets of rain carried on and on
Further and further until their weight was too much to bear

Then pouring down as a well fed waterfall
The sky splits in a tremendous luminous display
While the air rips apart and collides together
The King of the Winds fills with rage
His wrath evident in the dismantling gusts
Destroying the protection that saved us before

The world is uneasy, the earth changing
The ferocity of desire, burning the tree
That was once steady, resilient
The sanctuary lays forever transformed
Even as the rupture of nature subsided

The beauty fades ever so slightly to my eye
But it is still present, is still familiar
I know this place but by a different view
The creek now rushes, pounding its banks
The colors are more sullen yet still rich and full of depth
And the leaves, protectorate of my heart, lay strewn about
In a tangled mess of fury and emotion
But the storm has left, gone for good

And beyond this home
The meadow still stands as it did before
As if completely untouched by the storm
But I know each individual flower
That still grows with mystical elegance
Has their own story to tell, but I cannot hear it

The flowers are silent as they grow
Their stories imprinted on their petals
And I read them best I can
But the mind can only capture so much
Of what the heart has to tell

A familiar feeling from a foreign face
The feeling of eagerness, the hope for future
Something I have longed to feel
Since my world has grown dark
I've wanted to die for so long
But won't you make me want to live again?
Won't you take this withering flower
And turn its chin upwards towards the sun?
Bring an end to my endless night
Make me feel the warmth of your glow
And let me flatter you with words
I could make you my princess
But I'd rather you be my angel
Save me from the death fast approaching
And deliver me to a newly opening door