I am a flourescent bouquet of roses
Picked from the belly of the living meadow
My feet are two brown layers of silt and mud
At the bottom of the creek
Question me about the sun and her secrets
Ask me what the bees say of
How they miss their mother
Watched father die
Sing me a song
And the deer will come
To drink from my legs
Talk to me
Say my name
Flowers yellow blue green and red
Will grow to the sky
My fingernails grow from the soil beneath
Drinking up the water
They grow
Silent saplings
Dancing in the breeze
Fill your pockets with my leaves
Smell the music
Taste the bark
It grows in your belly
And grows warm tendrils
Beneath your skin
Lie in the grass
And the dafodils
Will kiss  your ears
Open the clouds with your whisper
Birds will dance in the blue
Fish swim and jump from the water
Catching a glimpse of us
Before returning to the cool waters
Fear not
Bugs crawl
Watching us between the twigs and stumps
Laughing at the joy
Brought by their new sister
We will be dust again
As we were meant to be
Then the clouds will come
And rain on our heads
And push us to the sea

Sleeping one night on a train to Vietnam, You carved our names in a heart On the TatTered scraped and ruined wall of the sleeper cabin.

Back in Good Ol' West Virginia I carved a heart all about me and you into a park bench. I'm sure that bench has got rained and poured and sunburned for a good year now.

What about that time on the Ferris Wheel
Where I wrote a "Jacob Loves **" right on the peeling paint
(you know that one was rough cause the Splinterhead who ran the ferris wheel found out, and beat the **** out of me) Before they kicked us out
I got in two or three good punches, and you laughed at my *******
As you nursed my ****** lip with some Ice in that MCDONALDS off I95

Most of all I rember 'cause
You kissed me on my broken lip
And my black eye
And My probably broken rib
****, I may have lost the fight
But I sure did win

Blue was the sky
Blue was the sky
The sky was so blue
I wanted to cry

But I kept my chin up
My feet to the road
Acting like someone
With nowhere go

Stones and dust
Stones and dust
Walking past cars
Covered in rust

I'm feeling fine
As I watch a cat stretch
I can't think of a day
Better than this

The girls and the boys
The girls and the boys
Skipping and yelling
Playing with toys

A black cloud came out
And it started to rain
Puddles and pavement
Thirsty storm drain

Gray was the sky
Gray was the sky
The sky was so gray
I wanted to cry

But brown grass turned green
Flowers could drink
And everything dripping
Started to gleam

Letters and kisses
Letters and kisses
A mailman got tired
And sat for a minute

You understand
My inside
My head
My Mind

So I get the feeling
That Right Now You Know What I Am Thinking
I think I said that all out loud

You smile and say
"You are a child in my eyes, but I see you as a demon
tearing at the gates of hell with sharpened teeth gnashing.
I see you as an angel kissing the hand of my mother
Asking my father God Rest His Soul
For my hand.
I see you coming down from the mountain
All the world ablaze
All the universe
All the nothing
You come to me with gifts of water and light
You leave me with moment of shattering loss
In this lighting and thunder I understand
You are nothing but a boy
Stuck in this world

You are nothing but a scared boy learning to be alive
Nothing but a angry boy playing"

Maybe now you understand me
The soft word has stolen the heart
The pen and the sword

I ponder


Do you exist

At all...?

Have I created you?
At some point did my imaginings become reality?

Or do you actually take walks down to the seaside
Do you throw stones out past the breakers where the water is deep and dark
               or  was that I dream I had once last October



I fear reaching out to touch
Then I will learn the truth
Will my fingers find warm flesh
Or pass through a shadow of my own invention

                                                      ­        In truth it does not matter...for if you are a ghost I am quite happy                       to be forever haunted
                                                         ­   but if  you are flesh and bone let me lie next to you and spend a while feeling your heart beat beneath my finger tips

Eyes that glow amber
A vision in September

         Lovely Shade, I am captured eternal in your phantasm

Unrestrained and restrained
Fruit of the ground
Beast of the field
Tooth and claw were it's weapons
He could tie a rock to a stick and
Sharpen it


The word **** hadn't been invented yet
Fire fell from heaven lapping up the true sacrifice
In my son Abel I am well pleased
Hate
The word ****** was burnt to the forehead of the first son
So all men will know he is cursed with  first-blood
What an honor
Satisfied from the **** up

I remember it
First tounge of flames lapping from the pit
Lightning flashed and rain fell
Stone and fire-thunder swell

Father was born from the dust
And his breath always smelled of blood
He knew the secret paths
And told stories of nights spent in the ancient groves
He spoke often of the Old One -
And warned us of the speaking serpent

Mother walked in the garden
God-carved
A pine grown for the saw
A rib torn from the breast
She spoke the language of birds
More beautiful than sunset

Lush fruiting buds pour their scent
Trees of long white hanging moss
From the limb
The monkeys watched them
Touch

Lonely hill
Birds are silent
At his scream
Purity
Fist balled around the stone
Please don't!
Brain matter skull shatter
The earth is thirsty for blood
Pulled down from the high place
*Am I my brother's keeper?

Certainly I have met the honest liar
Before his teeth were sharpened to points
I watched him clean his ****** hands in the river
The loneliness leaning upon him like a mountain
His will is strong and his shoulders do not sink
Hammer and forge, dog at his heel
First son, I am your mark

Poetry I'm sure is no little mystery
I am unsure of her ways
If she sleeps or if she is awake

Sometimes her stone tools and weapons
Sometimes her love and care

Poetry is no easy task
A poem to write can be as hard as a job
As mowing any field
As hoeing any row
Her fruits are as satisfying as any
They hold me fast for a while
But I will always hunger again
So it is out to a field to toil and work
I hope my crops are sweeter this time

I am too bold the obsession of our seperation
A child torn from childhood shattered hourglass
In her eyes I see myself swinging from a limb
Her words tying the noose and the smiles pull it tight
She would have me gasping goodbyes spittle laced
Bullet hot fingers tracing the blown out blue veins
Dopesick for her cracked lips I would lick them clean of venom
But she is too bold for such infatuation
She would rather pick the lock
The cage in my chest where  it quietly rests
One yellow eye open fangs glimmer scarlet hues
Her neck hangs back in laughter
Nape porcelaind frail statuesque
She would snap my fingers
Like a branch and I would laugh
At pain syringed and sterile
Alcohol stained breath
I think you've  found the sweet spot
Hot barrel to my temple
Do me one last favor
Release me from this tabernacle

Wanderer
I've been called
Born with the wind at my back
Dirt at my heels
Push me along
The backpack is all you need
Put down your things
Lace on your boots
Get walking
The stars will guide you

Its not always so great to live alone
I wish I could be with you
Just talk and share a bowl of cereal
Refrigerator magnets
Pictures on your wall

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to come home
and sit alone

I bet even t.v would be better with you

I bet things wouldn't be so dull
If I heard just a moment of your laughter
Echoing off the walls

Lights would shine brighter
Even the lightbulbs would glow like el sol

Make dinner
Listen to music

I would turn down the t.v
So I could better hear you singing in the shower
I wouldn't mind vacuming
If your feet walked my floor
I would sit like a child
Underneath the lights on the vanity
As you brush your red hair
And make jokes about whatever we want

But you aren't here and you never will be

So instead "Ill get smashed on southern comfort"

The patch of plaster at the bed side
I hear the cries you cannot hear
For I am cursed or blessed to be
The architect of my own fate
    If things were not so heavy
If the veins were not so deep
  The shadow of my doorway is long on the floor
I sleep curled beneath the barred window
My back against the wall. Do not let those shadows touch me.
The screams are unholy
Words inhuman
One night I will fly from here
I will walk through the locked doors
Above me flourescent lights will shatter
I will leave scorched footprints
On the white tile
I will sleep among the unworthy again
And when they find deepest sleep
I will take them from their beds

Turning screws
That twist with a croak
A hammer in square nails
Boots echo down the stone staircase
Tall machines made of brass
Perfectly greased gears twist against
Bright red tune of strings
Twist tunnels in the black of my mind
Underground trees

Billiard ***** tap in the next room
Where men hunt weak women
With long black teeth
Collars stained red blood
Go to sleep in my family name

Someone taps nails
In my coffin

Am I so much?
Just a handful of
Footfalls
Fools all
My hand is so steady
Father said
I'd have
Been a surgeon
Oh my son
A bough grown for the saw
Sleeping, back to the wall

I prefer my hours unreasonable, And my friends and allies insane.


I prefer my fingers broken, and my phone disconnected


So even if you tried to call, I wouldn't get the message.
Or be able to reply.

Leave a message after the tone
Beep
You don't need me to jumpstart your solitude-
You seem to be doing fine on your own


I prefer my memories erased, and my saviors visible.
Not that i need saving.
Not that i need your help.*

I gave up on humans a long time ago
I prefer my my birds singing, my ears ringing
As your words echo in my head


I'd leave you for dead,
If ever the chance came my way.
I am no Good Samaritan,
As it turns out


I prefer my ink black anyway, and the horizon invisible
Losing my place, is what I always seem to do
Looking for the sounds
Listening to the sights

*Left in a cold darkness that is absence,
Of mind, of body,
But most notably, of you.

"The cancer wrapped around her larynx
Strangling her to death"
Anything I say would only hurt
Sweetie fills our cups with fresh black
Coffee for the tenth time with nothing
To add but a smile.
I light one of his cigarettes and
He empties ten million packets of sugar
Substitute into his cup

I am silent
Staring at the salt shaker
Imagining how death comes
It is cold and alien
A fragile being caught inexplicably in this
Instant of life I so tightly grasp

Salt shakers and the fake wooden tables
He talks about cancer as if it were everywhere
It swims in the bottom of the coffee cups
Beneath our feet in the ugly aqua green carpet
Flaked by orange triangles and diamonds

It watches us from a bench outside
Out by the empty road
Beneath the lonesome streetlights

I am on my second...No third I think......
Red pill of the Night
I am surprised that I have not become smaller
Or is it
Larger?
No one ever really remebers do they?
Question? No answer
I am compelled to get up from my plight
A beer soaked boredome
I have no idea of the people surrounding me
Or why they all seem to be so uptight
Although the rich boys have laid their suitcoats upon
The velvet arm chairs
It's almost unbelievable this air that I breath
For a moment I think I have become the center of our universe
Or I forgot where I put my matches....that spilled box of matches
Yet I wiggle my way out of the smoke
Understand that I have to walk out and pick these matchs up
While pretty rich girls laugh and drink beer
How cute they think they must look
Drug addled
Becoming the girl
I want to take home to mom.
Good Ol' fashion American Capitalism
Buying and selling and smoking their imported African Marijuana
Taking *** shots off of brandy bottles
I bet if dad knew you were in his brandy
He'd beat your rich boy ***

Ah the glimmer and the silver glow of this place
Shimmering left and right off of bottles and jewelry
I have a knife in my pocket that seems to grow heavier and heavier
As I rest on this brand new White
I MEAN SOFT EGSHELL COUNTRY WHITE
Leather Couch from Europe

I can breathe it all in
and breathe it all out
you know when you don't belong
A weapon in your pocket becomes
A weapon in your hands

This is all a big joke
You and I are just passing time
Until extinction

I have teeth of pig iron
And my back is a mountain
When I stretch in the sunrise
Oak trees snap and echo strangely
In the valley of my spine

A she bear walked upon my knees
Scraping her claws against my thigh
Birds soar about my forehead
Great whales swim in my mouth
Wolves hunt in the kingdom of my belly
And howl as I kiss the full face of my moon

Foxes learn the twists and curves of my palm
Rabbits burrow in my chest
Deer graze upon my feet
And the green bulbs of my eyelash
Bloom white blossoms

I reached up
With calloused hands
I felt the delicate slumber of stars
I cast them to the earth
And crushed them beneath my great bare feet

I ate the earth
Much like a green apple
And put the nickel core In my pocket
I put Sol in my mouth
And the universe was dark for a while

I grow tired of sleep
And I dream madly of  the road again
Women wear long silk gowns
They whisper words and grab my arms
They open my mouth and pour in tankards
Of dark drink
Burning
Burning down in my belly

They slept in the crook of my arm
And the long black hair tickled my face
They were silent when they awoke
And my slumber was deep
They cut my throat ear to ear
Laughing as my blood poured into the cauldron of the sea
Laughing as they snip my hair with scissors
Laughing as they remove my left eye
*We are fate your body is beautiful
Oh King, give us your turqoise eye
We have a knife/a good sharp knife!
We can feast forever on a sliver of your skin
And will build the earth again with your sinew

You make me feel so fine
Day breaks like a burning ember
Too soon it always seems
Stay up all night and listen
To a waking dream
Where is the magic sleeping
I used to feel it all the time
But now I lie and listen
To a broken melody
Where is that meaning sleeping
I used to feel it all the time
I left one night when you were sleeping
In somebody elses bed
I can feel it in a moment
Like a rush of blood into my head
A needle to another vein
I want you to know I wake up
In the same old world as you
What makes us so different
A world thats crazy
A sky so blue
Cloud number nine
Came right on time
Like a rush of smoke into my lungs
I think  I hear a whisper
On the reciever
Your a deciever
Dream Breather

I am saddened at the thought
That another will kiss you goodnight

Maybe those eyes
Are just eyes to him

If you understood
How I would not take your
eyes so lightly


Tonight I will sleep alone
Colder than your pillow

Cloud scuttle the sky of blue
An eye of blue catch  
The rue of loneliness dwells
Drink not from that well
For those thoughts become
Things
Traced out lines of it in all
Directions-
I will go west

You were dandelion cute
You kissed me
And I kissed back
You giggled when I jokingly bit the tip of your nose
I listened up real good
When you said
"It may feel weird cause my tongue is pierced"
I listened up even closer when I pulled down your underwear
You had a moment in my ear....making me gasp and shake in excitement
My eyes must have
Cha-ching
Cha-ching
Because you laughed
And pulled me closer
Leading me inside your soaking dream
You weren't as bad on top like you said you were
You twisted all the right ways
Until you had me so close I could taste It
I had to make you stop
we played house on every surface
Until morning came
We fell asleep in the shower
The taste of you
Still tight on my lips

Don't look me up
You will not like what you find
Past is past for a reason
I forgive quickly but
Deep cuts scar the best
Belt around the bicep
I'm accustomed to balled fists
Bruised and pierced
Swimming in a broken blood vessel
Cause I just wanna forget- Everything
I can see it in your eyes
You wanna fight or **** me
Can't tell you the difference
Because
I don't want to go to hell
Maybe just a visit
God hates track marks
But the devil likes to kiss them
Demons want to talk to me
While I'm at dinner with my family
On repeat
The world is spinning
And I am on a certain dark street
Lurch lights a cigarette when the cop lights flash on
One more strike and you're gone
A God of second chances
I would know for certain
Just a peak behind the curtain
Heaven sent oblivion
I'm fine with being alone
Its better this way
Because people ask too many questions
Like:
Why are you wearing long sleeves on a hot summer day?

We spit stories and sunflower seeds off the bridge
Walking down unimportant crooked roads
With names like summer lane and love street

In the afternoon heat
I popped your soda top
And we walked like we had shoes

The heat glued us together
The cold that once tore us apart
The blizzards would come in
And drag you up into the lonely white sky

The window is open
As we sit smoking
A joint you rolled with care
The sweet notes of night time
And heat roll in and fall asleep on your chest


In a tangle of your arms and blankets
I woke up for work
I put on my greasy boots
And pants with oil stains

Maybe something as simple as goodmorning
And a kiss to the back of a neck
Something like that could start life over
And give me something to breathe about

Watch us roll down a quiet ocean road
The night was only punctuated by looking at the moon
It was upside an upside down crescent
Waxing in the black

You were right beside me
Wrapped around my arm like a spider
clutching to her eggs
Your kiss beneath my ear
Brought me the peace of an oak tree
You put up guidlines
As you lie naked in the light of a red
Astro Lamp
I remeber
Your red neon eyes pulling at my pants
At the skin of my neck
You brought blood to boil in my head

I watched how sixteen billion nerve endings
Collided inside your universe
The song of a thousand red blood vessels
Played in our ears

Your blacklight mentality kept me stumped
Up all day and night
You thought it was cool to ride the motorcycle
next to the ocean
I could hear your words wisp around my ears
As we rode
Your arms clinging warm against my t-shirt
Pressing your lips against my neck
And returning your gaze to the ominous ocean
Spread out in the beautiful night
Rocks rise up
Twenty feet beneath us
In the mouth of the ocean
These rocks they call the demon's teeth
The sea gaping its maw
And laughing at us as we speed by
Your candy-cane eyes
Wrapped your arms tighter than everything
Thunderstorms
Blundered to the east
You yelled out to me between the black void
"On nights like tonight
You always  make me feel like
An actress"

There is one who is sunlit
  Potent as the jade-green sea
    Inhaling blissfull birdsong
     Exhaling ancient threnodies        
      Years of headlights, rainsoaked
       Highways: miles under desert
        Sun. copper-skinned she's spells 
          To sing with lips love letter soft
           She writes cataclysmic sonnets
           Without using words.
            Unabridged Resolute
             Her asthetic purely Lunar
             He tries to match her
             Inhale to inhale
            Exhale to exhale
           But he is a corpse
          Buried in black soil
        Roots to wrap and swallow him
      Crushing the soul from his bones
     Cursed then to wander mountains
   And watch her rest weary legs as she
  Drinks deeply from Aquarius

I'm tired
rundown
this poem isn't worth the paper it was printed on
I don't care if you like it
I don't
ill read it tommorow when I wake up
Sober again
**** that was so stupid
I cant believe I wrote that
it was so stupid how some lines were written out really really long and others are just one
word
Im tired of having cottonmouth
And walking around with bullets under my skin
Scratch my tattooed skin with your ***** black fingernails
I will only wake up
go to work
come home
And get drunk again
Then we can all get drunk and high together on the weekend
I have a serious problem
With shooting into crowds of innocent people
Or keeping my mouth shut when I know better
I would rather lie here and listen to the rain fall on the roof
than think at all
Im burning out already
picking through layers of *******
reading book after book
Written by people who have wondered the same thing I do
Who the **** am I? What am I doing here?

A hard luck kid
Pushing and fighting
Sleeping and reaping
Hand hold his girl Joann
Sleeping over drunk and high
You always slowed me down
You always made me mad
It's funny how your dishes in the sink
Would **** me off
But now I wish you were still around
To eat off the plates
And scrape your teeth on the fork
And leave your clothes in the floor
I wish you would open the door
And ask for a ride to buy beer

But

Now I'm smoking cigarettes
On your bedroom floor
Looking at the empty bottles
Wondering about the dresser
Filled with your drawings
And your lava lamp still going
Joann comes in
And cries in the doorway
Because she doesn't know what to do
With your clothes and your pictures
And I want so bad for you to open the front door
Singing Merle Haggard at the top of your lungs

Firewood turned to ash before my eyes
The desert is cool
Tall Rock night
The thorn bush turns to thickets
Cold black river water
Long haired coyote
Covered in sand
Vultures circle me
Under the moon
I hear voices in my head
Y la lengua es un fuego en el mundo de maldad

You give up on your car ride home




You stop at each ******* red light




The whole time you wipe tears on your sleeve





You wipe your nose on your sleeve




You kiss the back of your hand




You drove up on construction





There in bright lights






Flashing over the road





One word stands out in your head

Get wet
Get nasty
Get off my bed
Get off
Get off
Just get off
Don't *****
Lick me up
Lick me down
Back and forth
Forth and back
Slap Slap Slapping
The rubbing
The kissing
All the perfect
Warm wet
Soft hair
Soft lips
Soft thighs
A tight grip

We met beneath the mushroom
And drank dew drops from great-
grandfather's horn. Drunk we swoon
Lips of purple berry parted.

We lie on the warm belly of a hare
And it's heart like a kettle drum
Fills us to the brim with joy
Sunset and moonrise
**** we swim in a puddle
Laughing pale as newborn babes

I oft' recall the music of that laughter
When I am alone, but I am old now
And you have long since become stone

I've grown so accustomed, oh
To my little spot in space and time
So Alisha told me come over later
I can problably change your mind
So I took the time out
As the clock spins a wheel around
And the radio plays the song
The one that stuck inside my head
About being
all alive
little dead
So the read lights slap me
Down at every single stop
Until I reach the corridor
The place all around with cops
But I don't mind OH
I lit a cigarette and saw
Her wave me down from
Alabama or Arkansas
I stepped inside with
Trepidation on  my tongue
I saw the faces
Of people who I didn't know
But they knew Molly
And they knew Mary Jane
So we got along with
Conjunctions in between their names
Now I can't recall the words
Or the ******* a soaking dose
She said her name was Something
Have you ever seen a ghost?
Are you tripping
Hey man
Not yet
Someones flipping
through a t.v stuck on mute
But the stereo plays a song
One that I know quite well
Something dances and she sings along
But she's dancing with someone else
Ally loads the pipe with
Dimethyltryptamine
She said it's alright Oh
You can split it up with me
then
the plastic inhale
I count to three or four
I see Something looking
up at me from the floor
As if she knew the code
To a secret quiet door
In the middle of time and space
She said
You can save the world
But you've gotta **** the human race


Than I was a space invader
I had a ray gun in my hand
A sunshine walker
Maybe God is who I am
Or was it fractal light
Oh,
It could have been the end of time
But it was only five o'clock
It was only five o'clock
On the tenth day of June
I can see the face of God
And I speak the name of doom
You know when it's quiet
that tingle on your neck
You feel so connected
With everything
You disconnect
i find
the way to
take it all away
But I just can't come back
Now that I Know it all
God opened the safe
I found what I wanted deep inside
Yet
I want to much
so I climb in and fall
Into a black invasion
Of my senses up against the wall
I am everything that I have
You are every bit a part of you

then she came so sweetly
Did you even have to say my name
I tried speaking
I forgot then anyway
I really didnt have a tounge
But i sure have a mind
I bet you have one too
If you only ask me once
If you only ask me once
If you only ask me once
You would exhale
I would break
Into pieces on the floor
There I will awake
In the arms of a lover
Or maybe someone knew
Something held me closer
Her skin like morning dew
She whispered sweetly
Now you really know the way
But if you had to ask me
I really don't know a thing

Even the wind this morning
Was angry at your skirt

Respond to me
Leaving single lines of poetry
A letter or a parable
Give me strength
With a single look
Of your eyes
Driving me
Back to the wind
Without a wave goodbye
I want to send you a line or two
Maybe one or two
But you are so far away
At a strange adress
Living a life I have not seen
I am in love with you
Innocent and pure
One or two lines
Condensing
Forming
Until crafted word
Contains blood and bone
I am these words as much as they are me

I do not claim to be the strongest or the most important, but I would treat you like a gift from fate
I will carry the weight of your lonliness until you fall fast asleep. Holding your hand until my final night is come.