I like your car
Because we drive fast in it
I like your Heart
I like to make it beat so fast
We laugh-the cigarette
Smoke drifts out windows
Your kiss taste
I’ll always remember
Even on my bed prepared for death
But right now I’m far from
Dead
We kissed and drove and stopped and slept
arms cold and white
Wrapped tightly around me
In some white bed
In some warm hotel
You drew a heart on a foggy window
I smile now at how that window broke
I remember you saying something like
“Go ahead, I don’t need you”
And I said something like
“You don’t know what you need”
I thought so deeply of you-for so long
But
We both looked and knew
Forever is a long time to drive

..



.

Tommorow I will wake up and you will be lying against me. Our scents mingled on the pillow. All the books will be written and I will drink black coffee and look at their spines aligned neatly on our bookshelf. I can watch barefoot the sun rise without the need to move for a more perfect view. My mind will be the ancient cathedral and me its  solitary monk. Peace. Sunlight pouring through the stained glass. Tommorow I will wake up next to you clothed only in sun

Alcohol
Take me
I need not worry or fret
Your hands are always safe and warm
I have been ravaged and broken before
"But suddenly I turned around and saw her standing there with silver bracelets on her wrist and flowers in her hair. Come in she said ill give yah shelter from the storm"

Here we are
You will start
Play the card
That
Breaks the heart

Anger
Schemes
You cannot
Take the dreams
And try to give them Reasons

Here's the place
I once was
Where you bit your lip

....not like this


Try to give a reason
That your "love" changes
Like seasons
There are none that
I will hear

Above all else
You are decietful
Above all else
I am not broken

Depression
I used to think
Only of myself
Happiness
Call it home
Even when all of them are gone
I am here
I am

I became
Drunk enough
To scream
Your name
At the star filled
Night
It's alright
It's alright
I never hear your answer

Do you understand?
Do you understand?
That true love would wait forever
That I will sit by
As the sea of blood goes dry
As the sun sets forever
As the wind is full of heat
God has left his seat...
I will wait forever

I run scared from practised vampire hunters
Eating toe-mat-toes just to see the red
When I'm thirsty
I drink from a stray dog
And let the cry of children fuel my dreams
I like to smile at the preacher in the church house
On a dark overcast Sunday mornin
As he screams of sin and women fan the air
Hopping on pews
Avoiding crosses and shotgun blasts
I'm like a fox
Quicker than a flash
I put a good fifty miles in before sunset
And slept steady in a barn
While the glow was bright
Vampire hunters
Glass skin
Dead hands haunt me in my dreams
And I always see the old woman
Who made me a monster
The whites of her eyes
No pupil to be seen
The darkness of her bedroom
Sepia pictures
Dust and blood crust glass
She screamed a laugh and flew in through the window
I couldn't raise my knife fast enough
She stood there laughing fangs dripping
Those white eyes
Move so close to mine
She says "Welcome to hell"
Drops of my life blood falling
On my face
Welcome to hell
Ain't very creative
Cause hell is a place
But this is something else
No more slow dances
Where you body tempts me
Now I'm only tempted by the
Pulsing in your skin
No more sunsets sunrises
Sweet apples, peaches or pumpkins
No more warm skin
No more fun
Just run and eat and eat and run

Twelve seconds under a noon day sun
One that reflects from rocks and sand

She squinted her eyes to the sun burnt wind
And the dunes rolled like waves in the heat dream

************

But she was tempted in the garden
Among dripping vines and flowers
Fountains welled up among the stones
And gave drought to the thirsting night

It was the first night the clouds were covering all the stars
The moon was no longer seen
She lay her head on a pillow of stone
She slept and dreamed this dream

Words act as arrows
Fiery bolts on the field of battle
You've cut me down before breakfast is over
Somewhere between the poached egg on toast and
A cup of black coffee
You would never love me
That is all

All your life you have been in a rush
To get somewhere
Yet you never feel like you've arrived


Money is time
That can never reversed

How you preach time is money from your death bed
Not even the nurses listen

As your eyes fill with tears you will ask

"Where have they all gone?"


We were always there
Ever-waiting
For you to return from finding something better

What shall I do?
When I'm in the gunner seat
Of a B-52
Your picture is taped
On the rail of the gun
Where I'll have a good view of you
If we get shot

I got it in your letter
Although three months late
But its a picture of her naked
Looking over her shoulder at me

I read your words
And smelled your perfume
I read the Bible and thought about you


They sent me home to you in a pine box
My head was shaved clean and a flag on my chest
Pictures of you naked safely hidden in Songs of Solomon

Stone deaf
Youre walking down the street
Drowning in the puddles
The people
You meet speak about
How you look just like a ghost
Who would break a heart so pretty
Neon
Glow and flicker on and off as you pass
The places that you used to haunt
But you just cant go there anymore
Right there through that door
You had your first kiss
So you go back
A stones throw down to Fifth street
Thinking of
How you'll forget those better days
You don't hurt anyways
Feel nothing at all
Numb now
The rain comes down in sheets
But youre covered

As your purple heart beats on
You think you hear your favorite song
As you're stepping off the curb
Who could have the nerve

To bring tears to those eyes again

You wouldn't understand me
Even if the lights were on
The window is wide open
Open to the wind
I let the wind
Blow through your hair
Through the window
Throw your hair
listening to your music
drinking from your
brand new flask
The old flamiliar burn
Waiting for my mind to shut down
And float through the dark of space

Soft Skin Spread Red
Wet Vein Breathe Squeeze
Whipsper Kiss'er

The cabin in which I live is quiet
It is dark just moonlight in through the window
I am falling fast to sleep
When I notice on the cold white wall
A black and yellow wasp was walking
He is a perfect specimen
An abdomen the size of a pinhead
A long his stinger is settled at the end of a long thin connection
He seemed so fragile almost delicate
An elegant warrior female
I grabbed a jar
And a piece of white paper
I caught him on the cold wall
She jabbed at the walls of the jar
And against the white paper
In the light of the moon
She  panics and fights
I watch her  for a while
I hold my hand beneath the paper
And pull it apart
She sees her moment
The pleasure of the ****
She's stung a thousand times
Each time more pleasurable than the last
Until here right now
She fights for all her worth
Piercing into my flesh
Like a heated nail
Her sting is so deep
Even the bones ache on the first sting
Then again
And again with all her might
Five times
Nine times
I laugh at the pain creeping up my arm
A muffled laugh when suddenly a knock at the door
Just enough time to hide her before
-the orderly slides open the hatch
"Nurses said they heard noises down here."
"Oh nothing in here."
I smile in euphoria


He shuts the slide and yells
"Close that window, that's how bugs get in here"

It would be this one
It will tell you alot
                            
                          Dear

I had a note for you I scratched on this envelope
but it was ruined in the rain
it used to read so well
now the only word not melted is

                         Jessica

Ruined. So I picked up my pencil sure that this time
Just this once I could write words enough to make you mine
but there
alone on the page in naked pencil waiting

                          I

But i can't start with i
that is so selfish
so
i
begin to go agian
trying to make a something out of all the nothing
but its hard to name a poem so how 'bout let's call it

                       Love

No GOD NO
that is way too tacky
what would she think
So embarassing
So childish
So simple
You don't deserve the simple
You deserve the incredible
The awe-inspiring fire


                                  You

and there it stops me
lost and more lost
because when I think of you
all the fire is kindled


                                   You
are my evreything

so i put down this pencil
and write in my head
a future I have seen once or twice
in the lonely corner of a dream



                                     Dear Jessica I love you
                        I carved on that tree
                        In the noise of summer bugs claws birds wings breeze
                        I saw you smile walking towards me
                        Your feet silent on the blanket of the warm grassy ground
                         Your pale feet smeared with mud
                        It was in a june, july or august
                        A quiet summer dream
                         Me and you far out in nowhere
                        As the record singer plays the song
                         "Together"
                            (that song)

                        In a meadow
                          Dreaming
                        I know I felt it in the warm of your hair
                        When you wrapped your arms around me
                        You kissed me soft on the neck
                         I felt your skin as you squeezed me
                         Your eyes were so close
                          Close to my mind
                          and in a moment of your laughter
                           and in a moment of your joy
                                          a moment forgetting
                            life and all the noise
                            
                         I felt your breath sweet
                         I felt your whisper soft
                            melting the glue in my mind
                        In my dream I knew you kissed me
                         In my life you will never see me
                        
                I traded this moment for all that I had
                      and rode the river Styx to the belly of hell
                       and rode the river Styx while humming that song

Guts, oh my guts. Twist and shut when you wake up. It's day for you and night for me; midnight noon across the sea. I don't think you understand. I saw down palms each by hand. carving out a little boat, so I can sail the sea and bring you home. A sail I've sewn-needles and pins, a home carved rudder, a lust for wind. Sunset beaches where I sleep next to fire's dying heat. I can't wait for the feeling of waves as I sail out to find you far far away.

2.
The sea was cruel, storming heavens, grey black course on the tradewinds. I found you sleeping in your bed  curled up warm (dream filled head). Reaching up to tap the rain, dripping on your window pane. A smile, a moment of worry and fear...don't worry please I love you dear. I tried to sleep through storming rain, but I was  just happy to see your face.

3. Morning came
When you awoke
The sun came up
In rays of hope
I said my love
Is like the sea
I want you to
Come home with me
You said
You see
Just like the sea
I can tell your love is deep
But I'm a girl
You're a boy
That boat
You built is just a toy
So turn around
Go back home
The only place you've ever known
You go there
I'll stay here
Your love is deep
Not wide my dear

III.
I must admit I cried a bit as the mast filled with homeward wind. I watched your window getting smaller as waves took me out further and further. You never knew that I was lost at sea, but I guess that's where I'm meant to be.

On a space station Me and You
Just me and you living up there all alone
I’m sure that  this space station would be too big
To see You every day
So I write love letters
And I fold them up
And  leave  them floating all over the place
Just for you to find

Perfect camera angles
Make normal people
Act like fools
Actor

Trading foodstamps
For cigarrettes
Under streetlamps
Long broken

I have a fix
Whispering from my pocket
Why should I deny her?

I found a place to hide
Torn rotted rusted
Walls of cinder block

I am sure all the bridges crossing here
Are burnt unto ash
Carried to the oceans

What used to be a window
Is shattered o'er the sea
Birds dive and soar in the fog

Cement monuments
Knee scraped asphalt
I could cry out to the sky

Do you watch me god?
Go about my day
Do you want me?
Am I not poor and naked in thine eyes
Then pour out your mercy upon me dear heaven
Remove me from my earthly plight

My old man had me spend a summer in Texas
Building diesels and changing tires
It was every day out in that hot sun
Thinkin about you to pass the time
Hard rock radio station playing all day
I was seventeen alone in the desert
Living out of a hotel room
I smoked *** with the owner of the place
I would go down late at night to the lobby
Just to have one minute away from that **** t.v
Jay was the Indian guy I rolled joints with on many nights
He would sell liquor to all me and the guys staying at the place
But he treated me different like he knew me
I mean the other guys
They didn't leave a lot behind
But I left it all
I left you
I sat in the back of a pick up
Watching tears roll down your face
Waving at me
It never hurt so much
To do anything
I had a broken heart
No telephone call could heal
Even if I spent a good chunk of change on long distance charges
Falling asleep on the phone every night
Jay left his wife in Bangladesh
He said
(One time when he was very drunk)
That he left his soul with her
That he kept her picture rolled up in his pocket
Just like I kept yours in my pocket
Leaving it on the bed side table
Next to empty bottles and ash trays
I learned that summer
That you weren't meant for me
That you were ******* half the town while I was gone
At least you didn't tell me
Until I got back home
It was the nicest thing you ever did
Besides sending me that letter bathed in your perfume
I kept that under my pillow
Until it was as wrinkled and faded as your photo
All those beautiful girls
I thought were nothing
That waitress at the hotel bar
Who sat for hours talking with me
About you
And work
And time
And family
And love
She was perfect
She was beautiful
She really did care
And my only regret is that I wasted so much time filling my memory with your lying green  eyes, and not her honest blue eyes

The dark alleyways of my mind
Shadows ***** between the streetlights
sleeping next to you on the hospital bed
I swear it is in whispers
And the touch on my shoulder
When i am alone at night
You take me to that place

And i am not alone there
They crowd around me
and their screams mingle with mine
The primal scent
Filling our lungs like cold air

It is hard to imagine death then
But soon I lie alone next to the fire
My heart is heavy. I am alone
but this is how it must be

You are the forty 7 sided polygon that I do not presume to understand. You exist in dimensions above my own.
You exist on planes beneath.
I beg

Beg to be a fly
Just to crawl upon you

the Sistene chapel of you

To kiss my antenna
Against your skin
And test the scent  of your solitude

Strange
How the fates have spun
Eleven threads that did not cross
But once

Our fibers touched-
And I lowly spun


When once our threads did touch

God forsook me on the road to Damascus
Blinding me and saying
"You are no son of mine"
I stumbled through the desert
Halucinating in the dust
Letting the scorpions sting
Rattlesnakes tick in the noon day sun


They found me and gave me water from a flask
Cooling the sunburn in my throat
They took me to a cave
In the heart of the desert
Dozing off in the back of a truck
Until
I rested next to the fire
As they spoke to me
In a language I could not know


chanting and smoke fill my mind
I hear the whisper of devils or spirits between
The crackle of fire at my feet
Outside coyote circle
Sniffing the smoke
The moon is a crescent
Silver over the desert


A mountain lion screams
Fresh blood dripping from his fangs
Dust sticks to my cold sweaty skin
And in between the sounds of the desert
The weight of noise in the cave
A still small voice
As if the speaker
Was at my ear
"Depart, for I never knew you"
"Depart, for I never knew you"

I find myself lying in bed
Staring at a ceiling that each day seems more familiar
The yellow light floats in through a crack in the curtains
The shadows coil
Like smoke rising from an orange ember
Teeth and eyes twist and  dissipate
Alone with my thoughts perfectly
They swell with meaning
And wane as the clock turns
Tick-
Tick
My ear pressed against the face of my watch
Guilt...a kernel grows inside me
Regrets and failures
The memories
Once full and rich
Are now faded and wrinkled with age
I once splayed them like the paintings of old in the library of my soul
Now I have cut them from their gilded frames
I fold them and slip them inside an dusty copy of The Odyssey
They are safe there away from the prying eyes of others
One night I will burn them with a candle's flame
I will hold them at the corner and watch them burn
Then the curtains will light
And the books
The tapestries
It will all burn
And I will run from that place
Out into the cold full moon night
Never looking back
And never will I return

China queen of my bloodstream  
Now Now I'm on a novel high
She
Radioactive wanna feel it through my skin
Contact
In my skull in my hands in my life again
Pain is a best friend
Today I'm gonna cut it
Easy does it
Easy does it
They flake but
Not me
I'm a rattlesnake
Beneath your feet
In the tree
Kick my cage
Rattle me
Make my heart flutter
She's a cutter
The old way
Set up
To lose
To use  
This rabbit for a chase
This young white rabbit for
A little chase
Some heart beat
Blood heat
Serene

Sleep I cannot find
Tangled among the trains
Crossing federal highway 1
Markings on a digital clock
Change & change again
These are the terms of life
Pulling me down lonely sidewalks
The village by the sea escapes me as
I watch barefoot the cargo ships
Quitting the coast
A sky of spilled wine stained before
clouds of purple and orange construction paper filling me to a cell with sadness so complete that I would die to not feel it again

Now I am in the grip of the sea
The smell of it
In my skin and in my hair
Corona reflecting upon the waves
Until a thunderhead rears as the mustang nostrils flared and the foaming spray from its mouth touches me

Then the cold-
Then the rain upon my head
On my arms in my skin
Washing the poison from my body

Your lips, dry blood and thin bone fingers
I fear of I sleep I will dream of you again
I will awake in that same cold air
In thick heavy armor
My sweat cold against my skin
A drop rolls down my neck
As I open the same door

The runes carved on the door
Seemingly, by fingernails
All covered in dust and cobwebs
Beyond the window the dark of the yard
Her scream through the window
With her teeth and nails barred at my throat
The knife in my boot
I jabbed at a kidney and felt the blade go through
As smoke

Important little words can
Tear, Burn, Hinder
Heal, Hold, Wonder

I am lying about birds
Same the grass like fingers
The clouds are not perfect
Only chemical images
Of tables and chairs and normal living things
Mountain dagger
I picked up and cut the vines with
Shadows are cut from scissors
And
      Silently placed upon the floor
Dreamed up in ashes
And mixed with water
          On old China dishes
Tables snapped and spat on
Nighttime took my soul
And spread it on the sea
Where its cursed eternal
Locked in chaotic storms
Lighting that split
Directly outside your window
And in that moment you saw the bright glow
When you know about fear
Echoes are never friendly
Titanic split silences
Beds are a safer place sometimes
While other times its hell
So i wrapped a bit of tree bark
Once cooked by lightning
And a clover crushed swallowed
Dreams are beautiful places on the back of my mind

Cuts and bruises have their uses
Piano player blues
The five or ten
You call your friends
Never really care

Cut your hair
Shave your face
Put your shined shoes on
Part your hair
On the side
Tie on your tie

It all happens for a reason
Red hair braided
Cross legged on the hood of her car
It's so cold out
Here's my coat

A bottle of golden liquor
Drink so deep
Burn and sing
Songs about your lover

"I'm here to take
Or to give
What's known is unimportant
I love your music
Play play play
It's so beautiful you say
Life is so beautiful you say
Saved by the clouds
And by the seas
I became a prince
The golden ring
Meant not a thing
Naked breast
Silver chain
Cool metal fingers
Are my downfall
Fingers on a pearl piano
The ivory tongue sings

String the moon
String the stars
Snip them with the scissors
Then came rain
And then came thunder"

Trillion little grains
Running up your skin
Staggering and lying
Through everything
One side is summer
Like a barn door
You smelled of hay
And gasoline
A moment of clarity
Dressed all in black
Eyes like a sunset
The moon of your heart
If loving you made me a liar
A liar I must be
You stepped in water
You stepped on ice
A heart like an ashtray
You were out like a light

Dear God,
*******. I am tired of this conversation in my head. I have a cold shotgun barrel pressing to the roof of my mouth. I can pull the trigger with my big toe. Watch me. I can't listen to myself anymore. I lie in bed at night wondering why this stupid **** flies from my mouth. If I am created in your image; you must be really ******. They float on dopamine highs around me riding waves of happiness and completeness I have never known. They sing hymns to you with tears in their eyes. Music playing just for you. Tell me god, do they lie alone in their beds at night wondering if you are real as I do? I am jealous of their childlike faith. I would give anything for their ignorance. They are only human though ,as I am, and I do not see you in the small things or in the big things. Where is your reply letter? Yes No Wait. Yes No Wait. Yes No Wait. Did you know god, that 12 gauge buckshot waits on nobody?

Sleep won't come to me
It never has

Sometimes I lie awake

I count one to ten million 'til the sunshine comes

Tick goes the clock

Time goes by

I close my eyes and relax

Just as the dreams
Curl like clouds
When I reach out to touch
My fingertips, against

falling


I sit up straight in terror



At three the ghost come out and haunt me only
(Because) I give them the attention
Like clockwork at four
I dream of a girl
I dream of fire and blood
The numbers go by
One to twelve

I can't sleep and I'm in hell

The way you left
Everything and nothing
I fear your power
The way the moss bends towards you
As we walk through the woods
The way the leaves seem to whisper your name
As the wind smiles at your presence
The fox looks at us from below the brambles
His two eyes glowing in the dark
Then lowering his head
Bowing to you
Your footfalls echo off the ancient trees
Who creek and rattle a joyous chorus at your visit
The river seems to flow more slowly
The moon seems not to have moved in hours
Does the crackling fire of our camp
Call out to you?
Do even the branches burning in flame
Cry out at their joy of warming you
In a dream I must be
For the sparks of the flame seem to dance about your fingertips
The grass bends towards you
As you lie back looking for sleep
The night cradles you on a bed of flowers
Who seem to laugh at their petals falling
I must be dreaming
For in the dark around our camp
Wolves have circled
And sit as still as stone
Watching over you as you sleep

She
Hair
Skin
Talk
Smell
Walk
Hands
The makeup of your space is perfect
Rightly assigned a quiet gender
Making right the wrongs that seem
To poison your mind
This is not your burden
You clip your own wings
Is it heavy upstairs
In the wonder of all thought
With these two Eyes
With these two Hands
I was so quickly connected
It has been forever since then
Since words last past between us
Did you feel that?
The movement
                           What is this tendril of consciousnesses?
                            The pinprick of light in a sea of black
                             So suddenly passed into this strange moment of (life)
Soon Will  it pass
And Will I lie with you beneath the soil
{the brightest of flowers
will grow from the pit of my guts}
Life unto life it seems
From this side I find it hard to tell
Yet fools say they know!
They call it faith! A thing so pure
Is filthy and stained
So we give you a name
First and last
Tell you of history
Sit in this class
Grow up thinking
Something is missing
So we fill it up
With drinking and kissing
NO That is wrong
I KNOW WHATS RIGHT!
FOLLOW ME I KNOW
WHERE YOU'LL GO WHEN YOU DIE
TO A GRAND PLACE WITH TREES AND SUNS
or
if you don't believe me


you will burn in ******* hell

I'm tired
rundown
this poem isn't worth the paper it was printed on
I don't care if you like it
I don't
ill read it tommorow when I wake up
Sober again
**** that was so stupid
I cant believe I wrote that
it was so stupid how some lines were written out really really long and others are just one
word
Im tired of having cottonmouth
And walking around with bullets under my skin
Scratch my tattooed skin with your ***** black fingernails
I will only wake up
go to work
come home
And get drunk again
Then we can all get drunk and high together on the weekend
I have a serious problem
With shooting into crowds of innocent people
Or keeping my mouth shut when I know better
I would rather lie here and listen to the rain fall on the roof
than think at all
Im burning out already
picking through layers of *******
reading book after book
Written by people who have wondered the same thing I do
Who the **** am I? What am I doing here?

Perfect night
Your skin like crystal
Under red blue green Roman candle lights
Bursting spark where it once was dark
Forget about the other day
That life you left is far away
Your words feel real now as if they hold some weight
Floating off like smoke to an empty space

Respond to me
Leaving single lines of poetry
A letter or a parable
Give me strength
With a single look
Of your eyes
Driving me
Back to the wind
Without a wave goodbye
I want to send you a line or two
Maybe one or two
But you are so far away
At a strange adress
Living a life I have not seen
I am in love with you
Innocent and pure
One or two lines
Condensing
Forming
Until crafted word
Contains blood and bone
I am these words as much as they are me

I do not claim to be the strongest or the most important, but I would treat you like a gift from fate
I will carry the weight of your lonliness until you fall fast asleep. Holding your hand until my final night is come.

The leaf fell only
Looking for a reason why
The wind should take it

Prince before gate
Without haste
Death is my laurel
Like stone I stand
Sword still in hand defiant
Ten billion eyes watch
Silent as I enter hell
Then laughter swells
When I spit out
Charon's Obol

Even the wolf with the thickest coat would shiver at your guile.

You are a princess of lies, ruling oe'r your spineless
Subjects

You are known well in a far away land, but here your words have no sway

Here the sun does not set or rise at your childish beckoning

Here you are a liar, thief, and mother of hate

Malice is your brother, and you both walk hand in hand

As do I little sister
As do I

You give up on your car ride home




You stop at each ******* red light




The whole time you wipe tears on your sleeve





You wipe your nose on your sleeve




You kiss the back of your hand




You drove up on construction





There in bright lights






Flashing over the road





One word stands out in your head

My oh my dear handmaiden
The brevity of your eyes is a childish curse, but
Long is the chill of a single winter night
A basement full of taxidermed trophies
Death and dust fill flat stale air
Lying in a corner of silence
Bound in electrical tape
Gagged by a silk tie
There is no rhyme or reason
Or meaning to it all
It is the addition of numbers and variables
Multiplied by powers
Do you not understand the color of sunsets
The beauty of a passing day
Human passing is not a thing of beauty
It is a quiet tune playing on a record
The sound of cold water dripping from pipes
The feeling of sleep washing over me
With a thousand angels
Waiting to carry me on

I'm invincible tonight
Snarling punk guitar riffs
Dilate us. Wetting our taste for the Killer
**** chases cops
As I trip out in the passanger seat
he drinks strawberry sodas and smokes cigarettes
I dream in full color
lingering on the edge completeness

I begin to fade into the seat
Watching cars pass on their way

He speaks but his words are lost
A cure for cancer and broken hearts
Head colds and chest colds

The highway breaks and becomes back roads
I pass the time alone with a running reel of thought pictures
None of them including you

He parks
The car doors slam like gunshots
The ground gives way beneath my feet
The stillness as we close in for the ****

The last of my money turns into mere milligrams of peace

We take our hits on the back porch
The dealer's girl and baby sleep on the couch

I turn inside out
The cool night air
I close my eyes
Listening
To my
Pulse
Quickening....  Beneath the skin things begin to heat up

Then its gone
The money and the dreams of growing old
Always tommorow, never today
The clouds float like a silver blanket on the moon's ray's

They speak in tongues beside me
If they asked me, I do not know

Then again she returns
The thorn among the roses
Just as the warmth took me
Just as I began to forget

I don't remeber the ride home
If that's what you call a home

If once it could be like the first time again
I might not die trying to forget the things I fought hardest to keep
Those you love will hurt you the most
Those who love themselves only find solace in oblivion
Somewhere between awake and asleep
The flutter of eyelids
Signal lights for the infinite

It must have been sometime around four
I'm usually wide awake to see the morning
Sun
As it's orange beams poke holes in the weak
Gray clouds
Last night sleep came to me quietly before
I had a chance to fight her

It must have been some time around 4
I started to dream about you
You had soft white skin
Naked shoulders glowing beneath your front porch lights
You had an infectious smile
Straight little teeth
Bright red lips
You silently led me into your house
The lights on in every room
Ceiling fans spinning in hypnotic twists
Cooled my skin
You made breakfast in a frying pan
But neither of us ate
You showed me a sword that your ex gave you
A japenese officer sword
Dull and gray under artificial light
Pointing out the symbols etched into the hilt
You fell asleep on your couch
Your beautiful hair
Framing your face
I felt wired
Sitting there
Cross legged on the floor next to your couch
When you must have awoken for a moment
From your own dreams
And asked if I would hold your hand
I said I would
As our fingers wrapped together
Like two spiders
Squeezing softly in the silence
The darkness outside was perfect
Your breathing next to me was perfect
The sound of lungs absorbing
In perfect rythm
The kiss of each blood cell
Oxygen red
I lay on the wooden floor next to the couch
Holding your hand
Matching the speed of your inhales and exhales
Until I fell back to sleep
In the perfect dream