All alone I smoke cigarettes on the roof
I was going to tell you all about the sun
How it disappeared into the night
The sun never rose in your eyes again

Today I saw for the first time
A white flower growing outside
Out on the yard
They throw the ball
Waiting for a sirens call
I looked up from my silence
And to my surprise  a
U.F.O  hovered near by
Without a moment of fear I knew
I walked towards the glowing disc
Tears melting in my eyes
Beauty
From an open hatch I saw him smile
My father  coming to talk for a while
He walked up to my with tears in his eyes
And said “Don’t worry bud, it’s alright”.
We had a long talk that day
Even in the cold sprinkling rain
Memories so deep and full and fresh
My father’s face all wrinkled to death
I love you son more than life itself
Across the yard an orderly yelles
Inside for snacks and medication
I smiled at my father
Still so much to tell him
But he waved goodbye
And I waved goodbye
And a short walk inside
To white hospital walls
I took my pills and sat and wondered
As off in the distance a small ship hovered
Looking for a moment as if to say
A moment of looking can be as long as a day
A nurse walks by her hair white-blond
Towhead said
You’ve sure stared out that window for a long time, ***

I was dust before
But then I knew
I was a brass bone
In the most ancient god
A point of light in
The machine twisting
Mandala regurgitating
Novel universes
@ whim

If life were true
I would build eleven cities
For you
And golden spires; minarets
Twisting to
Knife the pink horizon
Would be my poetry

It seems I've been proved a fool again
Your saying it to me
I keep walking these same old roads again
And your driving straight to me
You hold your hand out asking for alms again
Your looking right through me
I drank the heavy smoke in straight again
Your trying to choke me
Your always trying to choke me
Always trying to **** me
Always trying to thrill me

I promised that I wouldn't write another poem about her
Except just this last one
Where sun shines around you
As I look up from the grass
It smelled like weeds and summer and dirt
Grease from working on your dads truck

I never touched one of his tools

But something about warm finger tips
Makes me lose electrical control
Feet up on the dashboard
With the doors open
And every star ever invented in the sky

I lie here alone between starched white sheets. This bed is not my own. Flint black darkness holds the molten soul of me. Periodicaly a car will pass the window, and I will think of * again. It is cold. I am cold. The expansion of crossbeams create a symphony in the silence. Photographic and wet are the memories. Sepia toned with Regret Washing over me. In this basin I float unbreathing. I am alone and I know that it is correct. I am in line. Words create an avalanche in the silent room. Pangs of sorrow grow hollow in my bones. I am cold. Trails. Thought patterns electrical as I spin. Among starched sheets among stars I reel. Reaching out....I know not what for. I feel it. spider building web upon my soul and if I move I will disrupt it. About me are the whitewashed walls beyond that are the mountains, tall and smothered in fog.

Goodbye for now
I'm gonna miss you
A lot

I'm gonna miss those flowered dresses

I'm gonna miss you putting on make-up in your underwear

I'm gonna miss just being a part of your life

I'm gonna miss loving you

I am gonna miss sleeping naked on your twin sized bed

I am gonna miss drinking on your couch

Until we sit there

Too ****** up to move

Kissing those *** flavored lips

I wish I didn't miss you
Or how you were ticklish
Or how you wrote notes and left them on my car
I miss drinking black coffee at Allens diner
Walking down the beach
Just holding your hand was enough for me
But you insisted we rent a hotel room on the river of lights
Sleeping again on white sheets with you
The window thrown open
And all of the moonlight coming in

You were softer than a cloud
Torn apart by the slightest breeze
A handful of dust was enough to poison
The entire ocean
In the heart of that sea
You were a dream
Sunlight dances on your skin
Beneath the blue

The waves pushed me into the moon
After night fell
We floated
Laughing
At the boats passing
On the way to nothing important at all

Anybody could hear us
Under a sky full of
Silver flowers

Calling sea birds
Circle us
As we try to remeber
What solid ground felt like beneath our feet

God picks his teeth
With a mint flavored toothpick
After a breakfast of toast and eggs
Watching the millions of  pulp universes spinning in his half-drunken glass of orange juice

Pop

A white envelope appears on the table

God furrows his brow and slices it open with a lightning bolt

His two big brown eyes scan the page

As he pulls out his pen....

Glancing out the window for a moment

He takes a sip of juice

In black ink he writes back

*Yeah, well maybe you're way too ******' emotional

Don't lick your fingers to flip a page
Find it

The fire is there
Between the pages

You open up your ears

And my voice comes in

We are both now

On perfect waves

We could talk about

Purple sunsets

Or white winters
Next to the sea

Crisp white paper
Long black pen

Draw my future

Draw again

How's it lookin'?

Do you see her eyes?

They're somewhere hidden

Hand drawn

On the corner of the pages

Where I knew you would see

Black storms of virtue
Black seas of greed

Saturday morning
I bolt awake
Oh ****
I'm late
I'm up
Throwing on
Clothes
Digging in piles
Looking for my keys
My hair is all over
I smell...
Unkempt
Why do I smell like a party? Like smoke?
There is no time to waste
I'm out the front door
I scream inside at the devil sun
There across the yard I see someone
My neighbor Dave
Having a smoke
It's gonna be one hell of a
saturday ain't it?
I stop and stare
Confused
and then

Yeah Dave.
So far it's been a real *****
I go back inside my cave
Lurking in the cool darkness
I find my bed and pull off my pants
Back to sleep
On Saturday morning

I have just ****** it all up with you haven't I
Someone please stop me before I burn every bridge
leading to your gentle heart
I deserve to be lost
and never found
Blinded
so that I may never see
Yet I wonder
If I would crawl after you in the darkness
Yelling out your name
I see my mistakes with you in slow motion
the truth serum takes hold after so many shots
But
whether / am in slow motion or not
I would tell you my deepest longings
I am so backwards on this planet
While others throw rocks to hurt
I kiss wounds
and tell you
It is all ok
I am sorry that I seem a demon
But I am only a boy
With a boy's honest heart
I wish I could hear your voice
or feel your hand in mine

I became
A traveler
Just so I could see the stars
I  left at sunset I flew out into space
Out in it's silence I saw the sun go flying by
Moving so quickly
I thought a moment but an hour had gone by

I saw in the distance
After years of planning led
Me to the conclusion
That a black hole was ahead
So I fly on for a while
Listening to numbered charts
Pushing the engines to the max
I fly on for awhile
Till I become a speck

I remeber you standing
Your wave was so fierce in that wind
Full of the meaning that I would always be alone
I'll never forget you
The last  human that I saw
Waving and crying
Telling me "You don't have to
fly alone"
But I fly on I fly on
With nothing but computers speaking in my head

At night I sit here
The radio plays white noise
Waiting for your voice agian
But I'm lost out in the dark

Your lying in bed agian
My picture still tacked to your wall
You won't say goodnight agian
You won't say anything at all
But your tears are a treasure
They can tear my life in two
I'm millions of miles
Away away from  you

I just want to understand
Someone else
For a single moment
But
I give up
Drink straight from the bottle
It drinks straight from me
I see seraphims and a calling hand
I hear it say my name

Until the moon is come into portal
I nod exhausted mortal
My skin is pale getting colder
As I fall to sleep on Orion's shoulder

Dimmed light through my eyelids
Hid from the kiss of solar wind
Decompressed by exhale failing  
To escape polar attraction

Scorched matter ashes scatter
Lost eternal in the rings of Saturn
There is memory a sky of blue
The touch that crushed me
Belonged to you

Fear non to the wild to the gun/
All odds stacked against
Runner for the wind sound
Mountain sea the weeds of my feet
My heart is made winter
Mind sun
Until my eyes/blue of sky
Sound Alert And scent
Reed Unbent  
Will Unbent
Scars of stone
I atone
butterfly/ bus
*try to catch me

Selfish-evergreen
Prefers his sunlight- Mountain
Beetle Rots her belly

A constant nagging of lonliness pulls at my skin
I am sorely cursed by long nights of solitude
Although in the night's fall
There is a mysterious beauty in her depths
I am cursed by a glance at the clock
I have two more ours until I am raised again in sunlight
I crave the hours of darkness
The unmade bed of insomnia
Cold barefoot walks in the wet grass

At 5 a.m time stopped moving
Hands came and pushed down my door
They dragged me out of bed
It felt automatic
Everything moving
And I'm only half-awake
It's strange how hands and guns and winter
Can take you by surprise
And when the wind starts blowing
Like a dying hound moaning
You feel hands upon your neck
All the friends I have
And all the family
But I only ever think of you
When I'm half-awake
And people start pulling
My body off the bed
Only thinking of you
Face down in the grass and dew
Handcuffs around my wrist

He came as a young man in a plain black suit
In the dead night how heels clicked on the side walk
In my bed I awake at someone slamming at the door
How the vibrations through the wall awakens every board
The shotgun loaded in the closet
That rests cold and heavy against my leg
I look through the peephole

Crack of burning wood
Dark looming forest sleep
-Cold hands about my neck

You were a rose
You were a storm
You were the wind
You were the cold
You were the big and upcoming
The queen of my heart
You drank up the summer
Bleeding the light
Knocking on your window
At quarter to three
Your eyes through the curtain
Looking at me
You didn't put on clothes
To let me in the door
We kissed to your bedroom
We kissed to the floor
Letting me wonder
Letting me drink
I played you piano
Until you fell asleep
You asked me and asked me
But I wouldn't sing

This is a joke
All of  that  hahaha this universe
I am think the medecine worked Albert Einstien
He could play your card
Or write his name on your universe yet
This is a stain and we all plug into the same machine
Everything you do you do because you are perfectly human

I drempt that I flew
And then I knew I'd die young
Above emerald seas I did soar
Salt

I dream and I slither
Among razor obsidian
And on the ash I feast
I am alone
Watching sun slip
Scarlet fury splitting
Old & cyclic

Aye, I was alone
Am alone
Rabbit eyed watching
From bramble

Roadside &
Fireside abiding
Riverside

Roaming theif
Of leaf you
Wind
Spinning

Come in supplanter
Wrye smiling eerie
As fog

Winding while
You level your willow wand
At my face

Hello, its been a while since I've heard from you darling.
Do you not read my poetry anymore?
I write these poems for you
Late at night to the light of a candle
Have you missed me?
I've missed you
Are you happy?
Is your sky still blue?
I'm running out of matches and candles
Its getting cold down here
I don't think that its a waste
I don't. Know
Yo u ar e so far away
it seems like
I can
Reach out to touch you
I miss your bed and your pillows
I miss your smell most of all
Yes, your smell is what I miss the most
When the rocks creep close to me
and try to scare me with their shadows and echoes
I remember your scent
It lingers on each breath
My mind tricks me
I swear it must
For some nights I am awoken out of a dead sleep
And I can smell your skin on the air
I follow you wherever you take me
I have been following you for so long
I know you are leading me to saftey
Although...the paths are smaller
And the rocks squeeze my chest sometimes
When I try to go through
I'm not afraid darling
When I'm stuck
And the candle goes out
And I can feel
The rocks squeeze tighter
Haha and I think its hard to breathe
And it gets so hot in here
And I'm squeezed in
And I'm breathing heavily
But no air seems to get in
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I laugh
Sometimes I lie on the stone floor
Screaming until I sleep
You must not hear me darling
It's alright
I forgive you
I don't want you to do anything
You don't feel like
(The candle is almost burned out now
Its quite dim)
If I have learned one thing it is that you must
Learn to release that which you have loved
For that is the way of nature
And time
oh.     I.  Am sorry
The pencil  has broken and I am using the
Burned match to write

I am filling my flask with dripping water
It seems my final
I'm sorry the last candle has gone out





          I.         Am.    



           Quite  hungry
                                      Now
                                               Darling





PLEASE HELP ME I AM LOST IN THIS DARK



I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

*I love you

Like a million red nail painted dye-cast fingers
That push against my surface
Poking through like summer heat
Warm water
Reflecting back moonlight by night

Wind pushing her open back
Back Northward
And home

Only wanting to die
You sit back on your throne

Back to the wolves and road
Leaves falling and all that ****

Killed like my mother
Blood on the bathroom mirror

Ten dead smiles reaching ear to ear
Breathing in and out only smoke

After awhile
You start to drift
To any little town
That has a minute of music
And cold drinks

I plotted my revenge
Fingers round a dagger curled
Ruby hilt salvation
Paper white hips
Hearing a herd of elephants
Criss-cross by the sea

On the drunk lips of sailors
Truth is always spat

I don't want to weep for you

You have locked yourself in the glass tower
Up in the air
Where everyone watched you
Mourn your lover

Know me
This I require
With only
Times New Roman
I build a fire
Blowing
Upon the Embers until
Smile

steam and iron
Ink and paper

Music
Silence

To the saloon
To the church
Tying shoes
Speaking words
Bold
Dangerous
Elegant

Graveyard abiding
We laugh
Building to break
To burn
To burn

Speed!
Flame!
In this chaos
Thriving

War Born
Sun burnt
Sons of God or
Devil
Caring not
We tighten the knot

Feral Kings
Upon
Trade winds
Compass spins
Stars inumerable
Compel
Protractor and pistol
Hammer and nail
Gasoline, sail

This blood
This muscle and bone
Violence alone

Prayers of David
Unturned stone
Story tellers
Ornately scarred
Strung for a moment
between two eternities

I hate to read the poems I write
Because they sound like a little boy whining
Because they sound like a stupid teenager crying
Because I sound like a child, trying to talk like big people do
**** poetry
Fucky you
Ok...maybe one more poem after this

Am I so much?
Just a handful of
Footfalls
Fools all
My hand is so steady
Father said
I'd have
Been a surgeon
Oh my son
A bough grown for the saw
Sleeping, back to the wall

You made me no more mister nice guy
Sitting on the curb
I watch you drink beer from a can
Your skirt is just short enough
To show me your skin
Your t-shirt is covered
In some pink cartoon
In the dark you seem quiet
Your words float away
Broken windshields
Crackeling
Explosions
Carry the silence
Into the rain
"Tell me the truth?"
"Yeah, sure I guess"
"Will you kiss me even
If I taste like cigarttes"
"Yes, I will kiss you if you
Kiss me back"
So I lit her cigarette
And she lit my mind
I could get used to having you
"Not all the time"

I looked down through the railings
Still slick with black storm rain
Windows blown open
And showers are pouring down
Watching the drops

I can hear the gears humming behind the walls
Cold against your skin
Workers climb here and there like spiders
Reaching into the greasy pipes
Turning bolts and creaking cans of oil

In the marble lobby of an old museum
With a golden chandelier
And lamps with hot lightbulbs
An old security gaurds shoes
Tap down the stairs
Asleep by the door in a pile of blankets
"Hey kid, move along"

You understand
My inside
My head
My Mind

So I get the feeling
That Right Now You Know What I Am Thinking
I think I said that all out loud

You smile and say
"You are a child in my eyes, but I see you as a demon
tearing at the gates of hell with sharpened teeth gnashing.
I see you as an angel kissing the hand of my mother
Asking my father God Rest His Soul
For my hand.
I see you coming down from the mountain
All the world ablaze
All the universe
All the nothing
You come to me with gifts of water and light
You leave me with moment of shattering loss
In this lighting and thunder I understand
You are nothing but a boy
Stuck in this world

You are nothing but a scared boy learning to be alive
Nothing but a angry boy playing"

Maybe now you understand me
The soft word has stolen the heart
The pen and the sword

You told me how you sailed the seas in nineteen hundred
53
You joined the navy as a boy
Just so you could see.

You told me of ports in far away lands
Where Beautiful Women laugh
Who with  red lips kiss you late at night
Drinking from a flask

Your words were true
Of oceans blue
Green seas
Clearest water
The salty taste and ciggarettes
Friends coming home in boxes

You always say those were the days
The days that always haunt you
You learn to live, and love and drink
And drink straight from the bottle

Open up neon cracks in the city walls where the bars and strip clubs
Things go bad when shark toothed homeless sleep next to a fire
And a pail of rain false down

They built this house
In 1939
A tornado ripped straight down the street
And missed this house only

You can't understand what its like
To keep those ice cold arms around me
Keep me from feeling any and all pain
Placing momentary perfection
In place of sanity


Roll up your **** sleeves.......
Maybe you shouldn't look so much like trouble
Maybe it won't find you
From a second story window
She yells
Only your name
And flips the bird

Stopping the burn with liquor communication that twists me back into
Billows of smoke
Tongues of fire

I am no one can't you understand
That I am just a brain
With just eyes
Living through millions of electric impulses

Im just like you looking through two eyes

Mud between my fingers
****** lip
Leaking broken nose

I walked just far enough into the dark and cold hills
Until I could look back and see no light
No cars
No humans

Just me and the mountains
And the star filled night

I can't explain the infinite

A child teeming with light

The machine digging at the statue

Sudennly spotted in the stoplight


Names become numbers

Dogs barking under the streetlight

One hundred fingertips pressing

The temple

I am only a lost child, searchig for a mother in father
Who were turned to dust by bombs
The ability for space
The ability for time
Humans no longer being
A shout
Echoes in an abandoned factory
Throwing stones at the eyes
Who come in our sleep
Sharp stones to scrape the flesh from machine
A young boy
With tied shoes
Standing near the fire
Break the screens

Yeah, I been to space
Yah wanna see the scar?

We could be two peas in a pod
You and me
Love letters
Grass stains
Black and whit t.v

We can sneak out to the field
After the church service

Spring time
I feel fine
In fact
My heart makes me act
Like your fool
Maybe I can love you
Until summer ends

But I get so much ahead of myself

You tip-toe around puddles in your new yellow high heels
And your pretty blue dress
You act like you don't mind if they get *****
Like a flower in the mud

"Let's go back"
As you wipe a splash of mud

People begin to wonder where we are
Imagining the worst
As we walk hand and hand back up through the churchyard

Its gonna hurt tommorow
The light will hurt tommorow
The sun too bright tommorow

But tonight
My feet haven't touched the ground once

I bent down
And looked down at the lost people
Ill have to walk with them again
but not until tommorow

I will find rest in some sudden moment
I hope that it will be more beautiful than I can understand
And for that first time ever
All of this I know will be gone forever
My two eyes have seen so much already
My two feet have so walked so far

But I'm young now
and I just dont have time
to write it all down
So for now I'm gonna walk until my feet hurt too bad to walk
and look with these two eyes of mine until their just to tired to open

I cannot understand
Why in the wake of the moon
All the world is sadness
Morning light purges me
Just so she can get her kicks

The crescent night
Under whose cover
We drank our fire


Hidden from the gods
Hidden from the eyes

Sometimes
I wish I was all by myself
Staring out from an empty
Beautiful field
I just want to see God
Bend down and blow out the sun
Then I would lie down in the ice
And spin through the eternal darkness
Sometimes
I wish I was all alone

I once held the sea
But I loved her so
I let her go
Every drop of her I released
All the hidden treasures
Lost in her belly

I once held all the birds
Because they were my friends
Singing stories to me
About long forgotten lands
But the only good bird
Is one not captured
So their cages I opened
They whistled their thanks

I once held the sun
For she only could keep me warm
But the moon was jealous
So I let her run

I once loved you
More than I ever loved myself
I would die for you
I lived for you
Everything your name
But when the winter bit your heart
You forgot my name
So I gave you all I had
My heart
My soul
My song
And you walked down Virginia Street
Hand in hand with him

Last night I drempt of longing
The taste upon my tongue
The voice of birds came softly back
The warmth of yellow sun
The sea came rushing back to me
Bathing me in love
But I waited and I waited
For I needed you the most
But you would never come back to me
The owner of my heart

Each moment for me is
A moment of clarity
Finding myself growing ever more tired
Searching for a fact
Or a reason
To explain why I should not cast off this
Earthly form
Why bring the air
Why bring the bread
Or the water
To these lips
Why do I prolong this
Misadventure into being
My body belongs to the earth
The very atoms of my carbon based reality
Once slept in the belly of a star
All of this Big Bang talk has got me thinking
Why should I press on further into my fragile existance
When all beauty- belonging in temples
Is not worshiped as a king

Your a brittle ***** believer dreaming of the days
A devil hearted deciever
A careful little game
Of listening for a phone to ring
The static, the reciever, talk until you say
Something I believe in
Careful in your ways
I say goodbye
I'll miss you
I wish that you could stay,                                            


             ­    But

Your a danger to yourself
Finding your own way out
Means a bullet to your brain
Finding  your own way home
Singing all the way