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JL Jan 2012
My eyes couldn't adjust to the light
Only the green glow of formalin
Breathing in the fumes
Until my lungs are black
The sketches of your anatomy
Bent so strange by the candel-light
A pin *****
Could let the spirits inside me
Open me
I am empty
Fill me with your dust
Wind me up
To be your toy soldier
Taking bullets for you
Taking a knife to belly
You laugh as I rust
*"Jacob, I never asked you to love me, I never asked you to care. I told you I would hurt you
             Use you
             Sell you
              Compel you
******* for the taste
******* for the race
I wanted your legs
Wrapping white legs
The branch of trees
On which a bird will land and a song
I have aleady forgotten
721 · Jan 2012
Jazz like Blue
JL Jan 2012
Charles D. Jay died on October 12, 2011
My great uncle
I never said one word to him my whole life
In the will he left my grandma everything
He was crushed after the death of his wife in 2010
And then the death of his dog Sandy in early 2011
Then like clockwork colon cancer

Walking into that house
The smell of coffee and old carpet
A smell I was all too flamiliar with
Growing up in Southern Baptist churches
You can't get away from stuff like that

He left it all in that house
Just packed in
Room after noon
Were talking about a little mansion here
He had a dining room and everything
Big old piano that he must have enjoyed playing
I took that old thing and loaded up all by myself in the back of a pick up and now its at home
In the middle of my livingroom
With drink circles and ash trays like at some club

Making it back to the house
I checked his study
Filled with books
And beautiful black vinyl records
Every single jazz musician from Dizzy to Armstrong
He had em' all the standards- the jivers-big band-street bands
Even the priceless club jam sessions
People clapping
And yellin
Hollerin'
Trumpets and sax
Foot tapping
Needless to say
I spent the rest of that night drunk on Charle's most expensive bottle of gin
Jazz records
Pulled from sleeves
On the couch
Covering the floor
Every record he had ever bought
That was his real funeral
Because I know if I died
I would want someone to listen through every song I ever loved
721 · Dec 2011
Suicide Pact
JL Dec 2011
I drank heavy from the river
To quench my parched lips
Clear cold water against my
Hands

I am always thirsty
I have broken my teeth
On the ancient rocks
To show loyalty to mother nature
I let her **** me
Without giving her my name
I let her spit in my face
To teach me humility
I let her pluck out my eyes
So I could see the color
More clearly
She stabbed a screwdriver
Into my ears
Until I heard them POP POP
So I would know the beuty of silence
I let her peel my skin
With sharpened stones
So I would know every breeze
You were not easy to me
As you tore my tongue from it's roots
So I would remeber the taste of blood
Forever
Take my fingers
Take my toes
Arms
and Legs
I am dead already
I died a long time ago
The day I was born
719 · Jan 2012
Sore Spot!
JL Jan 2012
Homefield advantage
When we were together
I took you to all of my favorite spots

They became our favorote spots

Then as summer burned

Straight yellow afternoon suns

Began to fade

Until night was quick

And mornings only came after long
Hours of television
And burnt coffee
Until I realized that
"Stepping headlong  into oblivion is the only way to burn the past
From your skin"

I went to our favorite spot on the beach
Where we had our first date first kiss first and third and fifth anniversaries
Not to mention random nights we exhausted young lust right on this spot
I think I asked you to marry me here
Oddly enough I remember you said yes

It hurt so bad to come back right to the heart of things
I could feel the heartbeat on the sand
The pulse of the ocean on my skin
The drift of the sea breeze
I closed my eyes and listened to the call of gulls
As night fell
Ten bottles of red stripe
I only needed six
My dads most expensive bottle of gin
And two marijuana cigarettes

I remember
Screaming at the moon
And running headlong into the black sea

I rembember the sand
Scraping my skin
Stealing my cells
Pushing them softly out to sea

I woke up alone
Lying in the sand
A dog licking my face

My eyes hurt into my head
My mouth was frozen
Swelling and thickening next to the sea

I read the dogs collar
His name was Biscuit
And a telephone number
My phone was in the car
As dead as a doornail

So I walked barefoot and asphalt
To the jetty
and found a payphone

It rang once
And she answered


Ten minutes later me and Biscuit were on your doorstep

"You look like you could use some coffee"
"You look like a towheaded red lipped angel of light"
You think it would have been strange
To let a ***** stranger like me in but I think you understood when I said
I had stepped headlong into oblivion to burn the past from my skin






from your. Skin
719 · Jan 2013
Polar
JL Jan 2013
I have nowhere to go
So I go back to the start
Back to the headlights
Collide just as I remeber
The sea of sparks they make
I will swim in them to understand
A crowned king now lies headless
A creaking sparrow eyes him hungrily
I will have to go soon
But a heart stopped beating
I don't mind compressing it
Until it start again
Never would I
Feel as I feel right now
Like I don't even belong here
I belong with the mountains
I belong beneath sun
In the center of forests
Forgotten and dark
We
Play Science
Using spells that glow
Like Roman Candles
and torches made of old cloth
to push back the dark until we forget what it felt like
To be alive
JL Mar 2013
The aggravation
Tick
Tick

Of the internal
Monologue
I want to burn it with a
Cigarette


It's impossible to speak
So I wrote poetry
I stayed up late in
The night
Penning
Senseless  pages of words
Easily forgotten
Oh well
That's good go on with our daily lives
Until it hits you one day
You'll be sleeping all alone
And
Alcohol was your best idea
To put it away
In the bottom shelf
Where it grows
and rots
A hole away in your life
Until you open the drawer again and fall in
719 · Mar 2013
Let It Ride
JL Mar 2013
She let me put my **** in
Leading me inside with her
Shaking ashen fingertips
Embedding her ember eyes like
Molten buckshot beneath the skin
Her fake moans
See-through writhing hips
Begging for it

Until like midnight strikes
Fingertips behind my eye lids
Timid her lips pressed
Wet and ripe
Against me
Red lips archaic and distant
I have rent the curtain
That led to the holiest of holies
Now it is only a matter of time
Before she forgets my name
Before she let's his name slip through her lips
And I bash the mirror with my fist again
Imagining it is her
Frail rib cage beneath
My gashed oozing knuckles
Three fingers in
A warm tongue slides against my brain
She ***** the weak ones like me
Breaking us in
Making the next goodbye easier
Her television dramatics
Slamming doors and suitcases
Raise a fuss from the neighbors With itchy ears
Pressed against the walls
Furiously they ******* to the
Sound of her fists thudding weakly against my chest
Tears dripping from my cheeks or hers
You *****
They hang on our words
Like scarecrows in an autumn wind
718 · Mar 2012
The fucking boy
JL Mar 2012
Drunken farm hand
I will always be
But summer comes
Full and sweet
Grass grows

Yet I sit in my cabin
I drink myself to sleep
Thinking of someone
Who is far far away
Where hills are unbroken
And cold in the night

Spitting tobacco as I clean the pens
The dogs walk behind me
My only loyal friends
And we are alone
Out in the pasture by the gate
Where cars never drive by
One streetlight shininig lonesome
Onto long dirt country road

I was drunk
I couldn't even stand
So I lay there in the pasture
With the snakes and spiders and dogs
Thinking of you with all my power
Just wanting to hear you speak
Underneath the silent heavens
Waves of stars in a bitter black sea
717 · Jul 2012
gleam
JL Jul 2012
they gathered around
thick as the forest
calling her name out in chorus

I don't want any part of this
                           I once thought I loved you
          

\ you  whine and moan
about the big fluffy bed
a mattress of down          
and pillows velvet red

but the girl that i love
sleeps on hay
and she's out working
in the yard every day

You wear a pearl necklace
And great golden dresses
Banners of your name
Hang down like tresses

She grows roses
roses with thorns
her hair is plain
and messy and short

princes with names
I cannot pronounce
battle for your hand
but you only pout

...but she gets five lashes
                                   if the chickens get out

your tower is tall      
         You say too tall for me
your hall are great
                       too great for me
your tables are long
your gilded platters full
but you are still hungry
a lone starving fool

but
the one who I love
She is quiet and sweet
we share a loaf and some broth
on the side of the street
As your great castle glistens like a diamond in the sky
I watch her pick roses with a smile so wide
716 · Feb 2016
The Hyperborean Way
JL Feb 2016
Man, wraps his thin coat tighter, squinting at fine newsprint, smoking a cigarette. Lust thick she says: "Yes, please **** me."
Without grace he paces ***** streets, avoiding eye contact planning what next vice will fill his belly. Without tradition he sits before his television eating. "I am in the mood I think to drink until I become an ape." Without shape he storms about always with a shout. Fueled by rage, jaw clenched, he sniffs at every *****, fists clenched war bent.

He sleeps. He is lowered down into the belly of stone into a world of his own creation. He dreams of loading the magazine of his pistol and craves the hook of his finger on the trigger. His dreams are gray, barely lit through the smog. He reels through the pornographic cinema of his heart until a passing train wakes him. "****."

Man, wrestles with his son, laughing at the end of a hard day. Beneath his nails, black soil, wanting not but for her.
She loves him because he could be no better. He treats his dog like his brother, no man above or below him. Peaceful, green hills and cloud in a shroud of birdsong. Leaning on the sickle like a mountainside he smiles, straight-backed, sun tanned. He watches a silver-chest buck forrage at the tree line the fawn nearby still sniffing at the doe. The man's kiss is like a flower and his voice like a lyre,
Forearms of stone and legs that rarely tire. At night they lie around the fire. He acts, he sings, and tells them again the stories of their ancestors, unforgotten. He says "There are heroes still if you look for them."

He dreams and sunlight fills his core. He stands upon a hill watching clouds roll. She kisses his brow, and the small warm arms of the boy wrap around his thigh.
JL Jan 2012
I woke up this morning
And made coffee and got in the car
I drove half-way to work when I saw that same
God ****** Jesus Loves You billboard on 95
I turned around and went back to fish in the inlet
I spent the rest of the day smoking my grandpas pipe
And cutting my fingers with a pocket knife
I hope I get fired
711 · Apr 2016
The Killing Jar
JL Apr 2016
The wings on my back
Are cut away
By kitchen knife
Veins of royal blue
      ink of you
Are an
Ocean's
Pull
/
I sleep
Walking again like a deer through the Orange groves
And on the banks of C-24
Wandering in dark
Knowing not time's ache
Down old paths
Beneath all stars
I go alone drunk on soil scent
Twenty three as I should be
I run and don't know why
Carrying a burden I do not understand
709 · Dec 2011
A Promised Poem for Rachel
JL Dec 2011
You have written cataclysmic sonnets without the use of words
From  three quid to a dollar
Your spells they know not rest
You have promised me the world
If I would only let go

The dreams have stopped and started again
As red lights in a quiet town
Blinking over asphalt black
Your spells have weaved a world of silence
Over a memory of flourescent pain
New Horizons of filthy lonliness
A Wavecrest full of quiet weeks
Are moments of peace
In a life of chaotic embers
Falling from wind-blown cigarettes
One pill makes the heart grow fonder
Two makes it all a waking dream
Three makes you wonder why your still living
Four makes you a zombie queen
The dreams come back although you promise
That the nights would be quiet beneath the buzzing streetlights
Nights are not quiet beneath the buzzing streetlights
For Rae- thank you for being my friend and sharing the weight of this crazy world
709 · Nov 2011
The Waltz
JL Nov 2011
In my night
I was broken
I am lost, I am torn
and I'm waiting for a reason
Or some meaning

Your so far in my distance
This road far too long
But your words fall so heavy on my heart now

We use drugs
We drink pain
By the bottle
Down the drain
Just trying to forget
Where we came from

All  the lies
And the cheating
We knew love
Took our beatings
From the people that we thought we deserved

But were moving through the dark now
Catching sight of the moon
Through tree tops and leaves falling slowly

Your so far in the distance
I am trying to remember your every feature
How your eyes caught that moonlight your skin was red
From the day and you were curled up in someone else's arms
And I know that I'm dreaming, this world is far too big
So I'm trying to forget all these feelings
But its there
Somewhere hidden
In my dreams
in my heart
The sound of your voice on the receiver
The look in your eyes
Long nights knowing that you are a million miles away now
JL Jan 2012
You went

La


La

******

We were going mad-

I heard you laugh

Like planets spinning

Gentleman Jack ****** my head

I felt ok, sally

Like I'm sailing on a boat

The eggs you made were runny

So you rang my bell

I'm just a chipped-tooth liar

Running around the town

I smell the beer on your breath

I feel your tongue in my ear

Run run run run

To the river

I feel the flames at my heels

Right on kitty kitty

You have a hole in your tights

The peppermint on your skin

made

Made my lips fill with blood

Like a ride on an elephant

Take a walk with a giraffe

We dug for dinner with the ant eater

Naked feet in the dirt

With your hands and your smile

You make the big world feel alright
706 · May 2016
All is vanity
JL May 2016
I've integrated until I am now pure bird song
And I roll ever fog-like down hillsides  
At last I am something or not
Rain plus vapor
So quiet now that the sound of my own voice
Startles me
705 · Jan 2012
Cold Pillow
JL Jan 2012
I am saddened at the thought
That another will kiss you goodnight

Maybe those eyes
Are just eyes to him

If you understood
How I would not take your
eyes so lightly


Tonight I will sleep alone
Colder than your pillow
705 · Mar 2013
Words
JL Mar 2013
I'm ready for the sea
I will dissolve in the blue
Waves tumble me apart
I laugh at the pain I
Once felt and the
Way I once tried to
Put everything I am on the head of a needle
They gawk at me and laugh
Scientist poke me with their
Sterile stainless steel Instruments asking
Each other "what's an existence?"
I try to explain with words but
A blue bird is caught in my throat
Its beak poking the roof of my mouth
It climbs out past my teeth
It jumps and ***** around the white room
Whistling out an ancient tune
Circling once above our heads
Then out the open window
702 · Apr 2012
Untitled
JL Apr 2012
July the tenth. It's hot, in the belly of summer.
Children ride bikes on the street. They wear shirts three sizes too big.
They laugh in the breeze. The perfect deep mirage of heat beneath the spinning white wall wheels
A young girl steps out into the sun. The house behind her is adressed 206 Commonwealth street.
Bare feet that are white among the green grass in the lawn
Weeds grow knee high next to the road
The ant pile


Down the road music plays
The children stop
Is that an ice cream truck?



The youngest boy
(Whom just this morning found out what a lie is)
Watches her dodge the ant pile

She walks bare feet
That slap on the asphalt
She is beautiful
(And he thinks of her often)

She waves at him
As she crosses into the enemy territory

On the fourth of July
(She was happy and free)
He still lies in bed and still feels her kiss on his cheek

Rolling over in bed
to a night filled with bad dreams
On repeat she says


"Yeah, you're nice but"
So is Christmas
JL Jan 2012
The glow of my cigarette lighter compared to the void of
darkness between me and the earth
I stepped on bones
Breaking them beneath my boots
Haunted bones
Between me and the echo
There is nothing
I reach out
Feeling for something
Reaching through time
Feeling the ribbon of your soft hair lying upon your skin
As you doze off alone in the comfort of the white pull of sleep
700 · Apr 2015
Huff One Hell of a
JL Apr 2015
Watch me look at this
I made theses calculations on the fly
I am 22 just for you
XO XO
It tastes so sweetly of vanity
I just can't get enough of your
Carcinogens
I'll inhale the fumes
Succulent tonic
Bonding me
To your kitchen table
To your eyes
Hey I could be your paper bag  
Snap off that
******* slight smile
So I can sleep a while
So I can sleep a while
Take that skirt off
Bite your nails some mor
Shut the door
Shut the doo
I'm on the outside
Where I belong
I love it here
I love um
Boy
699 · Feb 2013
Untitled
JL Feb 2013
My My  How Your Skin Gives Me Music. Insufferable Distance Seeming Dark And Bleak. Now A Warmth So Holy, One I Shall Always Seek. You Swirl Like Smoke As You Appear. Sharp Claws Slice The Flesh Of My Forearm. The Blood Seeps Dark, Red
Do not leave me again my darling
I keep the candle burning until Your return
The Yellow Moon Shall Be Full And Aching
Waking Me From Deep Sleep
I Watch The Forest's Edge From My Window
A Stray Cat Rests On the Fence
As If
From The Shadows You Might Appear
As If
From The Shadows You Might Appear
JL Mar 2012
Yeah, yeah your beautiful
And you smell like flowers but
She's all I think of


When you sit with me at sunset
And everything you say is perfectly scripted
As if your mouth was a t.v screen
Im not listening because I want to hear her sing

When we went to the fair
The lights were bright
You hugged my arm against the cool wind bite
But I can still feel her fingers between mine

When you try to act so smooth
Each date I have to scrape through
Looking in eyes that crack and crumble
You kiss him heavy as the thunder rumbles

She forgets about those oceans
Frozen solid
And how we laughed and slid
On the glassy surface
How you unfolded your blanket
How you folded your hands
How the sky was blue
How you smiled
How I fall asleep
With the wrong arms wrapped around me
Night after night
697 · Apr 2012
Your scent on my coat
JL Apr 2012
City slicker
Softer than a midnight whisper
Warm breath bathes your ear
Watch me flicker
On and off the streetlight
Nothing ever feels right
Until the radio comes on
angels sing the  song
getting closer
To  backwards understanding
anti-social
Like a feather on the wind
Try to keep my friends
But I'm bitter
hear a good thing
My past is all a dead dream
Memory, you cheap skate
Paying me at half rate



Don't you open up your front door
To the wind that's weak and gentle
Playing with the thistle like a child
Feeling weak and tired
I lay down for a nap
On the peace of your lap


Where I dream of going far
Trudging deserts by the cool of the dark
Sailing ships by the pull of the star  
lost in the blue
May I come to you
JL Mar 2016
You are the forty 7 sided polygon that I do not presume to understand. You exist in dimensions above my own.
You exist on planes beneath.
I beg

Beg to be a fly
Just to crawl upon you

the Sistene chapel of you

To kiss my antenna
Against your skin
And test the scent  of your solitude

Strange
How the fates have spun
Eleven threads that did not cross
But once

Our fibers touched-
And I lowly spun


When once our threads did touch
695 · Jan 2012
Looks like it
JL Jan 2012
I walked to the ocean
And swam in her waves
Until I saw a storm coming my way
The birds began flying
To find a dry place
As the first drops of rain
Fall on my face
The shells that I collected
To make you a necklace
Jingled and jangled
Down in my pocket
Now I'm covered in rain
Now I'm covered in sea
Just to see you happy
It's worth it to me
JL Jan 2012
Today I was unbuttoned
I had my tongue raddled
By the force of your fist
I let you punch me
And slap me
I deserved it
Stinging my skin
Screaming your hate in my face
Betrayel
But your tiny  fists did not hurt me
Nor did your white palm on my cheek
It was your silence and your tears
That hurt the worst
694 · Feb 2012
Field Studies Two
JL Feb 2012
The air is warm today
With a soft and slight humidity
The perfect temperature
For an adventurer

The wisteria were in full bloom
Hanging from the basket of tree trunks
Overflowing purple and white petals

The birds sing songs of danger
Calling out territories
Guarding their new hatched young

Beautiful songs to me
Strike terror in the heart of some
Lone crow

I watch as two red breasted doves
Chase the angry crow from the crown of an evergreen
Their spinning and chirping looks playful and joyous
But courage beats in their little hearts
As they fight off the thieving devil

Blue skies are cloudless between the canopy
Yellow sunlight drifts down and through the branches
Creating radiant yellow pools on the moss and dirt
Squirrels chase each other through the glowing puddles
As if they too are playing

Down on a fallen stump
I sit
Counting the growth rings up to fifty

Sudennly I realize how young I am
How foolish and unknowing I am
Ancient trees loom around me speaking in leafy whispers
Deep dark sylvan beauty
A childish breeze blows through the treetops

Sudennly the most beautiful creature I have ever seen
Stands on a log across the clearing
I hide behind a thick tree
....was I seen?

Her thin shadow moves around the stump where I sat
She kneels to exam a row of ants
Crawling up an old root

She has a green notebook now open on her knees
She squiggles notes between the lines
Stopping to squint at the line of soldiers
Pointing and counting
..1....2....3....4.5....6..7....
She seems to count for a while
And then writes furiously

She sits on the stump
With the notebook in her lap
She has a beautiful little smile
The smile of someone
With a very secret-secret
That must be told

She could be a ghost
I know these woods are haunted
But the way she held the pencil between her teeth
As she counted the growth rings on the stump
Was not very ghostly

She drinks from a canteen
I must be thirsty
My mouth is quite dry
Maybe that's a good enough excuse
"Hello, my name is Jacob, and I have been watching you from the shadow of this tree for the past few minutes and I was wondering if I could have a drink?"
No, I cannot do that

Besides
I am a scientist

Only an observer


(A strand of her hair falls in her eyes and she puts puts it behind her ear)



Especially now because she has stood up and walked to the edge of the clearing
Where she kneels by a flower
And begins to draw it in her green notebook

Drawing and tracing
Hair behind her ear
A strand falls on her cheek as she works



So silent
My heart skips a beat as she finishes
picking a petal and placing  it between the pages
691 · Nov 2011
Cloud Number Nine
JL Nov 2011
You make me feel so fine
Day breaks like a burning ember
Too soon it always seems
Stay up all night and listen
To a waking dream
Where is the magic sleeping
I used to feel it all the time
But now I lie and listen
To a broken melody
Where is that meaning sleeping
I used to feel it all the time
I left one night when you were sleeping
In somebody elses bed
I can feel it in a moment
Like a rush of blood into my head
A needle to another vein
I want you to know I wake up
In the same old world as you
What makes us so different
A world thats crazy
A sky so blue
Cloud number nine
Came right on time
Like a rush of smoke into my lungs
I think  I hear a whisper
On the reciever
Your a deciever
Dream Breather
690 · Feb 2012
Lepidoptra
JL Feb 2012
I love you for your color
Your intricate  designs
The frail wind of your wings
Glucose flavored lips
The driving force of your antennae
Against my skin
As you
taste
feel
smell
sound
me
Behind glass
You smile forever---
Bright and beautiful among the dust
A perfect setting
For a perfect specimen
The other boys would only catch you
And tear off your wings
Never I say
Never would I ever
Instead
I show you to everyone who comes over
How gorgeous you are in your glass case
Your wings are so large and scaled
Two wonderfully fragmented compound eyes
Such grace
and color
Nothing else in the world like you (I say)
So beautiful isn’t she?
And a ****** pain to catch
687 · Aug 2016
Untitled
JL Aug 2016
You are the direction I am moving in
One pine needle
Aesthetic
Broken glass to thumbprint
Just wanting to bleed
For you
686 · Jan 2012
g jha gave me a first line
JL Jan 2012
"Trust me, I'm as poetic as you"
I let my words do the speaking
In a world with open mouths leaking
Words without weight-
Me and you know better
We removed our minds from fetters
Two sides of the coin
We are Cut from the same cloth
I know-
Mingling our poetic blood
686 · Feb 2012
Eve
JL Feb 2012
Eve
A hundred goodmornings
The servants smile at my running through the halls
The sun of the blue eyed king
The sun of the pale skinned king
Sun and stained glass
Velvet and satin
Running and playing
I love the gardens
The trees and the flowers
Are my favorite friends
Children play tag with me
In the mid-morning rain
Drinking cool water
From silver goblets
And eating the fruit from tall golden trees
Climbing and dancing the day is everlasting
Fearing for nothing
So we grew so tired
And lie in the shade
The look of the clouds
Ivory ships on the sea
The smell of the grass
Twisting our minds
So we lie and we listen to birds
And their chorus
As the sun goes down orange in the east
We take off our shoes
When they call for the feasting
Where father sits strong at the head of the table
And the minstrels and bards come
Singing us fables
With strong wine in our bellies
We laugh and we cry
Long songs of sea
And one of two lovers
A ballad of hunters
A song about kings
Princes and Lions
Winter and summer
My favorite song went
"La, la la la were two young children
Riding on elephants
La, la la la
Love like a mountain
La, la, la, la
Love like an ocean
La, la, la, your name on my tongue"

I cried and I whistled along with the people
The candles made shadows dance on the wall
Jesters came dancing and twirled on the table
As my belly grew thicker and thicker with wine
And I could have got up
Walked down to the village
And found you asleep on a soft feather bed
Yet I drink and I drink until my mind starts spinning
Talking and walking  the world never stops
When the wizard came in and spoke of the great stars
Telling us stories of dragons and heroes
Telling us stories of dungeons and meadows
Telling us stories of a lone maidens tears
And I thought of you
I could have just got up
Leaving the feast to look for your eyes
I would have find you out in the garden
Lying under the trees where I like to rest
We could have looked at the stars
Until I stopped spinning
That's all that I thought before I fell asleep
686 · Jan 2012
Right Across the Tracks
JL Jan 2012
Downtown
There's
This
Pizza
Place

They
Have
Red
Checkered
Table
­Cloths

But
More
Importantly

They
Have
A
Waitress
Named
Jen
But she tells her friends to call her Ginger
I
Get
To
Call
Her
Ginger
But
I
Don't
Get
To
Call
Her
Phone
I
want
To
A­sk
for
The
digits
Because her eyes are so boss
Because her lips make me think of red converse--red red red - popsicle melting in the sun
Her grape flavoured bubblegum laugh
Makes butterflies sing inside me


Bueno
685 · Jan 2012
Of moments on new years eve
JL Jan 2012
We were caught on traffic
Heat peeling up the asphalt you began to ask
Boy meets girl
I don't remeber what your name is
Does it matter
At all......
You loved to think that you were saying things that had value
Held weight
But you didn't
Your words slid out of my head
You didn't say much
Or seem to care
That I slept upstairs
With everything I own
Packed into one  room
The whole house quiet
You didn't seem to care that my sheets were blue
Or that the night was early
You were a friend of a friends
Talking about how drunk you were
You kissed me
And for a moment
I felt like we were possible
Like I could take your clothes off
It has been so long since I felt lips
Upon my own
But the taste of *** was unmistakable
And your eyes seemed to double in and out
And you were just so right upon the bed
Pulling your jeans off in one two three
But
It's only new years eve
And we don't really care about each other
Your blond hair perishing out of exhaustion
You deserve better than this you know
Although if tonight
I had felt like I had last moon

I would have ****** your head off
And fallen asleep inside you
684 · Mar 2016
Paper Flower Iron Roots
JL Mar 2016
Leaflet or scorpion I care
Not
I am unstoppable
And loved
Looking not to the left or right
Walking straight honest
Fist clenched anarchist
I am true from seed
A Greyhound pure breed
I've caught a scent
Now in chase full speed
Cherishing
Pangs of honesty
Stabbing delicate ego
I stand alone at the
Gallows
Revolting against this
Modern world
Til my dying breath
Fully bloomed
My life will be
A chrysanthemum
Soaked by dew
Dyed oxblood petals
Sword and pen
Will of lead
Some reggae in head
4 dogs & a laugh
By music I fly
Rebeling with grace
Saving no face
So out of step that
Even the boot on my throat
Gives me hope   
Without gimmick
Love simplistic
Révolte contre le monde moderne
684 · Mar 2012
Haiku
JL Mar 2012
Mountain rocks are calling me in
I waved goodbye to you
As you cried from the drive

I could smell you on my shirt
As I sat down on the diamond
Sharp tool box

The sun sets down between long powerlines
Running to the mainland
I felt the weight as it set
Oranges and yellows and reds
Paint the corner of the clouds

Goodbye
683 · Jan 2012
Bonnie and Clyde
JL Jan 2012
We were born in kingdoms
Far away
With gold rings of fire
Just above our heads

I was born in a kingdom
By the river
You were born in a castle by the sea

The night of my first breath
There was nothing special
But if they had listened close
The stars called out my name

You were born to a queen
A child of spring
On a bed with velvet curtains
Every peasent was calling out your name

I was born and worked
Apprentice to a fisherman

You were a princess
In castles by the sea

The sun was hot
Burning through my skin
Casting nets on a darkened sea
A penny a day
To buy a drink
And a place to sleep

Children laughed and played
In the garden
They were your people
And you their little queen
In silken dresses
Dining rooms
You drank wine with
All of royalty

But we grew up
Both knowing something
Missing
A thorn that grew deep inside our hearts
We both looked up and knew that heaven was pretty
But in our minds nothing seemed to change

Then one day the clouds covered up the ocean
And tore the boat  I sailed on
In the sea
Lighting crashed at your window sill
Had you calling for your mother
But you could hear the sea calling out your name

As I beg for breath coughing in the salt

You snuck out for a walk down to the beach

In through the rain I heard you humming sweetly

A lullaby that both our mothers sang

A loving tune was breathing from your lips then
As the sand seemed to swallow up your feet
And on the waves you saw me looking for you

The thorn that grew broke and fell away
JL Dec 2011
Watch us roll down a quiet ocean road
The night was only punctuated by looking at the moon
It was upside an upside down crescent
Waxing in the black

You were right beside me
Wrapped around my arm like a spider
clutching to her eggs
Your kiss beneath my ear
Brought me the peace of an oak tree
You put up guidlines
As you lie naked in the light of a red
Astro Lamp
I remeber
Your red neon eyes pulling at my pants
At the skin of my neck
You brought blood to boil in my head

I watched how sixteen billion nerve endings
Collided inside your universe
The song of a thousand red blood vessels
Played in our ears

Your blacklight mentality kept me stumped
Up all day and night
You thought it was cool to ride the motorcycle
next to the ocean
I could hear your words wisp around my ears
As we rode
Your arms clinging warm against my t-shirt
Pressing your lips against my neck
And returning your gaze to the ominous ocean
Spread out in the beautiful night
Rocks rise up
Twenty feet beneath us
In the mouth of the ocean
These rocks they call the demon's teeth
The sea gaping its maw
And laughing at us as we speed by
Your candy-cane eyes
Wrapped your arms tighter than everything
Thunderstorms
Blundered to the east
You yelled out to me between the black void
"On nights like tonight
You always  make me feel like
An actress"
JL Feb 2013
Forever we are tethered to one another
No amount of distance  separates us
For I have ensnared a part of you
And surely you have locked away a part of me.
Inseparable we are a golden strand no other
Lover can break; though children are born
And grow. Though seasons pass/sunrises
And sunsets; always are we tied together.
True Love Truly Never Rests
681 · Feb 2012
Kite High
JL Feb 2012
You swallowed all the important puzzle pieces
Maybe when you pull your finger scissors out of the socket
You won't remember how sad this is

Doing all the downtown drugs
Gives you the uptown feeling
Ringing your head like a church bell

******* you for turning even a simple drive home
Into a knock down drag out
I don't need your mess of wires
I'll just wait until you sleep
And take a kitchen knife to your circuits
....yeah that's what I'm gonna do
677 · Jan 2012
Wind
JL Jan 2012
Always wanting more
I can only think "faster"
It was dark on A1A
The engine beneath me
Vibrating and growling
Like a monster hungry for road
70 miles an hour
Right next to the sea
The bike shifts
And jerks
My dad in my ear
"I told you not to ride those ******* Harleys"

In the dark
The yellow headlight splits the road
70 miles an hour speeding by the sea
Curving roads
I rode as a boy
I could ride this road with my eyes closed
The snarl of the motor
The pull of the wind
On my hair
Snapping my white t-shirt around me like a ghost
Speeding through the black
70 miles per hour next to the sea
And I miss the warm of your arms around me
675 · Mar 2012
Jacob
JL Mar 2012
I feel lucky-as if God pointed down his finger at me
He said some things
I said some things
We fought until dawn
Fighting like dogs by the river
Until
God
got tired of me
and touched the hollow of my thigh
Ever since that day
I have been slow to anger
Now I always walk with a limp
God hits like a girl

One night
After a heavy bit of drinking
I lay in the yard thinking
About you and your eyes
When there in a moment
Was a tall golden ladder
With angels coming and going
Up to heavens gates
I just wish
I was not the liar and trickster
The name so proclaims
The thief
The anger
Rebellious
The long forgotten son
Fights God all night
Then rises like the morning sun
I don't know what the ****
669 · Jul 2012
Watch for the watermark
JL Jul 2012
Stone deaf
Youre walking down the street
Drowning in the puddles
The people
You meet speak about
How you look just like a ghost
Who would break a heart so pretty
Neon
Glow and flicker on and off as you pass
The places that you used to haunt
But you just cant go there anymore
Right there through that door
You had your first kiss
So you go back
A stones throw down to Fifth street
Thinking of
How you'll forget those better days
You don't hurt anyways
Feel nothing at all
Numb now
The rain comes down in sheets
But youre covered

As your purple heart beats on
You think you hear your favorite song
As you're stepping off the curb
Who could have the nerve

To bring tears to those eyes again
669 · Aug 2012
XIII (Meeting the Gods)
JL Aug 2012
Words mean nothing
Whether they are in the multitude or
alone



I will try again though
To explain how I am
The endless green sea but also
A single grain of sand

I stretch my neck to see
How the clouds look
On the sun's side
How they are gold and silver

The song plays
Sounds of breathing
Sounds of heartbeats

It is a short ways to your shore
Where the water is warm
The mountains are tall
Gods sit cross-legged
laughing at the universe below

Their smiles trouble me with endless peace
Impossible numbers of lips and teeth and fragmented nothing
"You can have the deepest desire of your heart if you only ask?"
...if something sounds too good to be true

Just then the trees turn into waving hands
The Sleeping mountains awake rubbing fog from their sleeping eyes
   Then they stand and laugh at my stature
Smiling craggy teeth as they step into the sea

"If you only ask?"
They hover now on golden silver clouds
Culling me with sweet melodies
Whispers quite silent or just loud enough
         to echo in unseen dark caverns in my mind

"I wish I had a really ace looking pair of Adidas maybe those ones with the glow in the dark laces?"
JL Feb 2012
Who am I to say
If I am standing up straight
How am I to know
If this world will glow
Underneath the neon sky
Lately I've been acting out
Throwing punches
Drinking drought
Until the still
My belly fills
Disentigrate
My bed

I tried to drive straight
To take the right path
Work under conditions
In addition to being heart broken
I wonder if your hair is soft
And when your skin gets cold
How do you tell
If dinner is ready
When you live in hell

Feeling unstable
Like the kitchen table
Drinking jack from a paper cup
Like a dove
Like a devil
I am broken body double
Control my actions
Put me in traction
Drug me to sleep
Sleep
Sleep drug me
I need sleep
Drugs with water
Sleep is what
Is needed
Sleep is what
I needed
Put me down I'm your dog, *****
Put your hands down I don't hit
Put me out on the doorstep
I deserve it
For coming home drunk
Looking for love
So you pack your suitcase
And its packed so tight
Your hands shake
Your hair makes
Shadows on the bed
Red faced
And tear eyed
What you've whispered
I would scream
Into the microphone
Into the receiver
Into the mirror
*I've grown tired
I've grown so ******* tired
664 · Jan 2016
Sewn Ugly
JL Jan 2016
Tommorow I will wake up and you will be lying against me. Our scents mingled on the pillow. All the books will be written and I will drink black coffee and look at their spines aligned neatly on our bookshelf. I can watch barefoot the sun rise without the need to move for a more perfect view. My mind will be the ancient cathedral and me its  solitary monk. Peace. Sunlight pouring through the stained glass. Tommorow I will wake up next to you clothed only in sun
663 · May 2012
A Journal Entry
JL May 2012
The cabin in which I live is quiet
It is dark just moonlight in through the window
I am falling fast to sleep
When I notice on the cold white wall
A black and yellow wasp was walking
He is a perfect specimen
An abdomen the size of a pinhead
A long his stinger is settled at the end of a long thin connection
He seemed so fragile almost delicate
An elegant warrior female
I grabbed a jar
And a piece of white paper
I caught him on the cold wall
She jabbed at the walls of the jar
And against the white paper
In the light of the moon
She  panics and fights
I watch her  for a while
I hold my hand beneath the paper
And pull it apart
She sees her moment
The pleasure of the ****
She's stung a thousand times
Each time more pleasurable than the last
Until here right now
She fights for all her worth
Piercing into my flesh
Like a heated nail
Her sting is so deep
Even the bones ache on the first sting
Then again
And again with all her might
Five times
Nine times
I laugh at the pain creeping up my arm
A muffled laugh when suddenly a knock at the door
Just enough time to hide her before
-the orderly slides open the hatch
"Nurses said they heard noises down here."
"Oh nothing in here."
I smile in euphoria


He shuts the slide and yells
"Close that window, that's how bugs get in here"
JL Nov 2011
It would be this one
It will tell you alot
                            
                          Dear

I had a note for you I scratched on this envelope
but it was ruined in the rain
it used to read so well
now the only word not melted is

                         Jessica

Ruined. So I picked up my pencil sure that this time
Just this once I could write words enough to make you mine
but there
alone on the page in naked pencil waiting

                          I

But i can't start with i
that is so selfish
so
i
begin to go agian
trying to make a something out of all the nothing
but its hard to name a poem so how 'bout let's call it

                       Love

No GOD NO
that is way too tacky
what would she think
So embarassing
So childish
So simple
You don't deserve the simple
You deserve the incredible
The awe-inspiring fire


                                  You

and there it stops me
lost and more lost
because when I think of you
all the fire is kindled


                                   You
are my evreything

so i put down this pencil
and write in my head
a future I have seen once or twice
in the lonely corner of a dream



                                     Dear Jessica I love you
                        I carved on that tree
                        In the noise of summer bugs claws birds wings breeze
                        I saw you smile walking towards me
                        Your feet silent on the blanket of the warm grassy ground
                         Your pale feet smeared with mud
                        It was in a june, july or august
                        A quiet summer dream
                         Me and you far out in nowhere
                        As the record singer plays the song
                         "Together"
                            (that song)

                        In a meadow
                          Dreaming
                        I know I felt it in the warm of your hair
                        When you wrapped your arms around me
                        You kissed me soft on the neck
                         I felt your skin as you squeezed me
                         Your eyes were so close
                          Close to my mind
                          and in a moment of your laughter
                           and in a moment of your joy
                                          a moment forgetting
                            life and all the noise
                            
                         I felt your breath sweet
                         I felt your whisper soft
                            melting the glue in my mind
                        In my dream I knew you kissed me
                         In my life you will never see me
                        
                I traded this moment for all that I had
                      and rode the river Styx to the belly of hell
                       and rode the river Styx while humming that song
662 · Jan 2012
Luna's Chorus
JL Jan 2012
I caught the moon at half mast tonight
Her helm swayed silently in the breeze
I grabbed at the handles
Turning the rudder due north

I rode into the black sky of night
Letting the wind billow the sails
The snap clap of loosened white fabric
As it taps on the mast

I emptied my pockets
Full of Marlboros and thirsting syringes
Tossing those weights off the starboard side
Where I'm going I don't need short-lived  highs

*I cast off those weights
And let them fall down to earth
As I  whistled a hymn
That I heard as a boy
Floating up and up
Without a care
The night was my lover
The smell of her hair-

Out in the empty
I heard angels softly singing
Their words swaying slow
Into the ******* nothing
I am a brother to stars
A bringer of life
A listener of melodies
Lost in the sky

Out here in the wonderland
Between heaven and earth
The angels were calling
Without speaking words
And I knew without asking
I could go anywhere
Touch the face of planets
Unseen by human eyes
I could take my ship Luna
Through dying nebulae
those
clouds lost in space


I could stay here forever

In this nowhere I've found
But the gleam of your eyes
Haunted me from the ground
I knew you didn't want me
Or care if I left
But I wanted to be there in case
We had some time left
when your talking about life
Even a moment is enough

So I looked at the angels
Shining all in their glory
To the echo of space I asked
"But what if she wants me?"

So I turned the main sails
Away from the wind
To earth I was going
To the home where I lived

The rush of the breeze
The groan of the ship
As we settled back down
On this terrestrial strip

My feet touched the grass
You were nowhere to be found
So I just picked up my cigarettes
And sharps off the ground
I only rhyme when I feel like it.
I'm not going to try to make it all rhyme cause that would just be....boring
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