As they tie the white blindfold
On my eyes They line up the
FIRING Line see if I do not stand brave
**** **** **** cocking of rifles
Are explosions in my ears
Fearless I hold
Your picture in hand and take the
Bullets Crainial Spatail gasps
Lungs collapsing
My last thoughts hinge on your
White ******* as my tounge finds
The gunmetal taste of skin
Your haunting laugh
Screaming in frequencies
Unheard mere mortals
I reach the throne room of the gods
With a knife hidden in my boot

Did you think I would forget?
Your scent still hangs on me
Electrical I squeeze out each last
Drop of Malice upon a silent hotel room
Even though the news on mute taunts me
With polite smiles reminiscent of your taut hello
A year I spend standing in the rain
Trying to wash the scent of you from my skin
Your taste on my lips
Leaving corpses
Hollow in your wake
The Forked Tongue she spills
Poison in my wine each time
I turn towards the candle  light
Until one night I caught her in my Bed
You have no Idea for what you ask
Until at once you understand
I take your hand
Like the moth I rip the wings from your back
You twitch and ****** on waves of pain as
I bring you ever closer to the flame
Your thorax structure spasms of ecstasy
Won't you light me up?
As the beast gives rise
Parting porcelain thighs divine

I find god's stash of
***** tapes in the closet
When I was searching for
A reason not to empty the
Entire clip into my chest
Each bullet carved
With your name in
Perfect Cursive

I break into your house while you are out with your new boyfriend
And I lie on your bed that we used to lie in
I cradle the pistol in my pocket
I keep reaching down to feel
As if I have forgotten it
Flicking the safety
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
Off
On
*****
Ch­ambering the first
Nine millimeter
Hollowpoint  
As I hear your front door open
And you flick
The porch light on
Bathing the moonlit yard
In artificial light
The Roses red
I spent my last $12 dollars on
Wilt on the kitchen counter
While in the hall you kiss his neck and
Unzip his name-brand jeans
Leading him to your bedroom door

My great grandfather was a killer
In the IRA
I loved to sit and listen to the stories he would say
He fought for blood and country
And to keep his family safe
O
My grandpa was a sailor
Traveled every sea
Kissing foreign women
Seeeing sights few see
He used to tell me stories
Of Caribbean sunsets
And sunrise in the east

My father in the army
Fought in Vietnam
Haunted by the memories
Humid smokey skies  
Dead faces fill his dreams
Every single night
He sent letters to my mother
Wishing for his home
But fought hard as any other
Tooth and nail and gun

But I ain't in the army
Or sailed upon the sea
So  my dreams are not haunted
And are beautiful to me

How does one start or finish?
How many times do you wonder
If you are only a copy of a copy
I am alone
Minding my own business in the white trash community college  peeling dorm roof
Posters line the wall and I imagine this is not her bedroom
The alien posters on the wall
The radio is playing
A steady theta wave of AM static
Until I become it
Or it becomes me haha
...wait who is that laughing?
Said the black haired girl in the corner
"Who are you? (Although I know who she is) Whose bed am I in?

Time dilation thoughts and memories pool within me
And I soak in them
The great being
her voice floods over me
and black ribbons of fingers
Clutch me

Outside a bird sings
I can hear the mechanism of his respiratory system
"I am a bird and this is an exclamation of my instinct!"
I hear his lungs swell and the brass pipes drip cold water in his throat
I hear the compressor on the refrigerator two rooms away click on
I hear the sound of my blood pulsing through my veins
Until my own breathing becomes first nature
I see my own laterally bisected head
How my skull cradles the soft grey blue hue of my brain
The optic nerve branching like brown roots
A pupil perfectly dilated black and the great blue sea of my iris
I am lost in the shadows that reach in from the edges of my mind
Into the darkness my own laugh sounds musical in my ears

Wide the door was thrown
To the breeze and yellow sun
Bird-on-his-song-glides

You felt like paper
Flimsy and unsure
I was afraid to take
A picture with my
Mind. You might
Float away when
the flashbulb shines
Losing control of
Everything
all I can
Remember
Is kissing you in the summer
Sliding my hand up the back of your skirt

When I knew nothing else
But the skin on your face
Glowing green in the dashboard light

Another morning off the turnpike
She fills coffee cups for old men
I have memorized the color of your iris
And I play with knives


I have three boxes of matches
Up all night
Coping with addiction
What if in the mind
I could rhyme a bullet through it
I will act as if you arent
And you will be harder to get

I like the variable of your fingertips
And when you hold my eyes
Just a moment too long
If I
Were
To die
Would you throw away my poetry?
Who will sit with you at church?
Let's play a game called: forget it

We met beneath the mushroom
And drank dew drops from great-
grandfather's horn. Drunk we swoon
Lips of purple berry parted.

We lie on the warm belly of a hare
And it's heart like a kettle drum
Fills us to the brim with joy
Sunset and moonrise
**** we swim in a puddle
Laughing pale as newborn babes

I oft' recall the music of that laughter
When I am alone, but I am old now
And you have long since become stone

Its hot outside
Hot outside
so fine

Spill your fruit punch
On your pink blouse
the bar of soap will
get it out

What a joy
For a girl to care
Blue eyes/blue stare

Wear the storm cloud
like a cloak
lightning storm
rain soaked

Grass stains on blue denim
The lawnmower blade
The flower petal

For a penny and a half we got
A a pack of stinky socks
For a dollar and a half we got
Two baby singing birds
Two nickels and a dime we got
A bag of heavens light
Come on man
You know I'm on the level
Haggling with the silver tongue
I finally got his ring
You won't believe how bright it shines
Magic pulsing green
So we rubbed a couple pennies smooth
And pulled our cash together
To buy a jar of lightning bugs
That helped us see at night
I traded up my trusty hat
For a pistol with two shots
You traded your last can of beef
For a shiny perfume bottle
You sprayed it and at the bottom
Was left a little drop
An old coat I had
The elbows stained in mud
I traded that for a rusty sword
With a ruby in the handle
You thought you needed
A warm blue egg
Because you traded your left shoe
The man at the bazaar with the shining tooth
One eye green and one eye blue
Rear my palm for a single lock
Of your dark red hair
A ripped up pack of playing cards
Missing the jack of clubs and joker
Tattered torn biology book
With someone's name in it
Told me everything about you
For the price of a boot lace
A bag of wool for a motel room
We slept like stones
And all was fine

Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Close your eyes to the fractil light dear friend
Climb up to your sunsets and sundowns
Wash them of all lonliness
**** that hot afternoon sun
Far out man that's real far out
Television Air Conditioned
Gas stations
Are heaven on those afternoons
Well I can swim right in the Atlantic ocean
Right across to you
And we can build bombs together
To blow up the stars
You're fully aware of the power of fate
Handing you a ciggarete
Looking for a suicide
Looking into big blue eyes
Your looking at another lie

You are my back up
Stick to the plan
No matter what
You are Wendy
and I'm Peter Pan
After I throw myself from the fifth story window
Of some ***** apartment in China town
Wait for the cops and tell them who I am
Tell them that I was trying to go home
To never never land
But I ran out of happy thoughts
Before I took to the air
And when they pull up my sleeves
Pointing at my track marks with a ball point pen
you tell them that was from shooting fairy dust
Straight to my brain
when they ask about my wallet
Any cash or car keys
Tell them their with captain Hook
he stole em' from me
When they ask where I am from
Say I'm a lost boy
And that's all
no mom and dad or sisters
Only John, Micheal, and teddy
Tell them I was best friends with the Indians
and the beautiful mermaids
And when they ask who you are
You're Wendy Darling
The girl who told stories
And kept my head full of dreams

In my throat you have taken root-
The radical violates my lips
Gouging my smile until teeth are broken
Its humid tendrils drop black soil in the cavity of my lungs
The bark of the ***** startled the rabbit
All this reflected in the eye of a raven

Firstborn:
How have I known thee?
Surely it is not our first meeting you and I spring
Come and gone are the lifetimes
Past eternities we have known:
In which we ran naked through the orchards
Sleeping beneath a sky of stars innumerable
A sky still ****** of smoke

I walked in the cool evening
Two dogs at my heels
When we met
I was born and the words were dammed up
The flute of Pan was played as in moonlight we lay
Unafraid Spring and I

Who hath sculpted mountains?
Wind and water are the paint and brush
Stone and flame-Ice and sea
Lightning dancing cloud to cloud
Surely Thor's begun to weld
Upon the anvil of the sky

What is poetry to a flower
A single petal gives justice to a thousand lifetimes
Oh to be
In the vein of a leaf
Or the one running blue o'r your thin wrist

Be still and listen
For a night
For a day
God sings a song of Spring
Love not thyself

As I looked into the moon
A smoke ring round his face

I want to float into the sky
And leave this stupid place

Id looked for somewhere not pronounced
in the mind of space

If you could talk to all the stars
You'd know what silent means

Children, watch me eat suns. Hello, darkness. I have made peace with your caress. Forgotten leaves falling from the tree. I planted you. With my bare hands I dig away at the black earth flesh. A place to bury you and leave. Beneath the porch I rest panting in the noon day sun. I listen to the children sing and play on the old piano in the house above me. Will you love me when I am rotting here flies and sores. I listen to them stomping on the boards and electrical chords installed buzzing blue colors when I chew through the rotting floors. Until I see the sun and the dining room table she sings and plays the old piano in the corner. Her voice buckles the beams and hearts tumble in the chest of her guests. Though she has been uprooted now. I dig her up with a stone trowel. Whistling as I work. clank against her skullcap. Pulling her up and onto the dark dew covered grass. Her eyes stare endlessly into the star blanketed sky

I drown my broken heart with the slow poison beneath the orange glow of the exit sign. Cheap goldent tequila wreaking havoc on my liver. Nothing changes from day to day for me, my misery stems from selfishness thinking of myself and my problems and my own tears_ while the true broken hearted sleep on cardboard beneath the stars. I've been in love before, I was a child, I wanted her name tatooed over my heart I wanted her lips on ny neck and my chest. Her arms tangled and legs spread, teenage ***** moan heavy on my ear. I rember sweat and hair being pulled and ciggarette smoke and perfume and love letters, shaving my head in the livingroom. ******* in the attic of the church while your aunts wedding went on downatairs. its not easy to forget those things, smoking a joint after a long night of drinking and ******* like animals, you looked at me, and you seemed a million years away, your black hair stuck to your sweaty skin, on your neck and your naked chest and the pillow and you said, Jacob, I love you. Cutting me with blue ice eyes. Your knees pressed into my stomach as you carve your name above my heart. I thought it was beautiful when you took that carpet knife quickly sterilized in whiskey and pressed it to the white skin of your hip and carving an ugly "J" big and red and bleeding. Wiping clean the drops with your long white fingers and mingling our blood on my chest.
Asleep
Your eyes fall into the steady rhytm of dreams,
Thoughts of us having white babies
And going to church
And growing old
And being young
And being somebodies
I slip on my pants and boots
And step out of the trailer for a smoke
Looking at the moon
Looking at the light on in the neighbors bathroom
Looking at the bikes in the yards
Looking at the birds
And your name carved above my heart
Red
Torn
Flesh
You tore away my innocence
As I tore yours
We were children
And I had much to learn places to go and not too long away
Back when the drinking was fun and the needles were fun
Back when we were Sid and Nancy, back when I fell asleep inside you and mingled blood on my chest like some ritual of fate.
Back when we rode fast on the ******* Harley  next to the sea
And I picked you up at work
When I broke my hand on Jeremy jaw for slapping your ***
But now
I hate your name
And the scar on my chest
And the cigarette burns around it
And the faded blue tattoos
I love another now,
Someone gentle
Someone understanding
Someone with a real red beating heart
Someone who understands
That the world spins
And we are just two specks
Seperated
And clinging to the same earth

It took fog to realize
There is no use in growing
Things that grow will always be cut down
Dew on the grass, peppered by spider webs
Hills full of red angry fire ants

It took fog to remember
That I could always go back home
That I could skip the canal
And pick an orange straight from the tree
Peeling it with a rusted pocket knife
Would you sit in the grass with me?
The stick of the juice between your fingers

It took fog to show me
That I can still walk down the rows of sugar cane
After playing hide and seek
That I can still **** snakes
And get cut by the sawgrass

It took fog to remind me
That the mangroves were
Full of mosquitoes and fish
And the yellow sun
Was only a round disk
Through the fog

He beams as he enters my bedroom
Holding a glass bottle
Bout a liter with a light label
Ether? (i was already down a hot dessert road with a pint of it in the back on the way to Las Vegas in a red sportscar)
No my son
Embalming fluid

Quickly we scrounge for money
And with almost zero effort
We had an eighth of some funk
We feel rich as we walk
And the rain falls

A good omen
As we smoke a cigarette near the retention pond
A falcon picked up a black snake and carried it over the trees

Marijuana soaked in embalming fluid
The bodies are emptied and filled to help slow down decomposition

He reads from Encyclopedia Britannica about embalming
I imagine ancient  humans sitting around a fire in the center of the dessert
They are throwing  massive amounts of marijuana on the fire
Inventing gods and dancing

They were each dipped and allowed to fully dry
We talk about all the **** our egos have snagged lately
As he packs

The hit
Like plastic to the tongue
My lungs become black in an instant
Filled with an acrid white smoke
Exhale the soul
****, that was fast
Stillness in everything
The building vibration at the base of my skull
Reverberating through me
each word
        Spirals off into thousands
Of volumes of information
The processing power
Of the machine
Capable of this existence
the psychotic episode of existence
It tries to talk
Surely it thinks it is something
How fine it is to know that it will all one day end
In an instant neither dark nor light I will die
And I have no fear of this
An instant of life
Boiling over to its brim in thoughts
To feel one moment of true ignorant blissful love of another soul
Love just another reaction to instinct
That we love to label with
Big long pages of words
And inventions to make
Them faster until everyone knows what life should be like

I am sick  
Not even the dogs fighting and playing
Gets me laughing anymore
I'm a slave to each breath
Controling each inhale
My hands with cuts on the fingers
The wind blows outside
But its quiet and I'm warm

Each bass line is a nuclear meltdown
Your lyrics come straight from the back of
pill bottles

It's a dream
Wide awake
The soft ache
At the base of my skull
And the point of light
Just a lamp to the right
Glows like the sun in my room
I shut it off
And lie in the dark

I listen to the shifting of the wind outside
And repeat Bible verses
As easy as reading them from the page
Theyre all the rage when I'm losing my mind
The last little bit of mind I have left
I recite First Kings under my breath
David Bowie threw me to space
And now its a race against time
A race against life
To see how long it will take me to lose my mind
I admit I have a problem
Called being bored as ****

Last time I checked blood was blue until it hits the air
Monkey see
Monkey do
I'm just a lonesome primate like you
Spinning on a pebble at the edge of a forgotten galaxy

One day father taught me to make a fire
Blowing air into the spark
Oxide

One day my father taught me where the throttle was
And I tore up the dirt road that led to the house

One day my father taught me where the trigger was


He beat the fire out of me
Until it raged a flame so fearsome no man could stop it

When I was born he let them cut a piece of my **** off
And branded me a first born son

I am fake
A plastic flowerpot that leaks
A **** puddle on the floor
Cement barriers are behind my eyes
It would be so easy to choke the life from you
I would really dig my nails in
And take your flesh with me
Behind my lost dreams
Among the vibrating crimson nightmares
I will see your face forever
on each blank canvas i will see your face
In black and red paint
In blue and yellow paint
The ache inside me is revealed
i turn away from the blank canvas
I am caught up in webs
spun in the shadows of my mind
Momentarily these words will be finished
and our lives will continue

The cops got called at one a.m
An she's sitting on the front step
Smokin a cigarette wearing sunglasses
Hello officer he's inside
In the bedroom sleepin
Let me see what's under them sunglasses
A ******* eye and her lip is bleedin pretty good
The cops run in stomping over and on Christmas presents
The kids are cryin Daddy, daddy!
Mommy what's goin on
Their comin to talk to daddy about him bein mad
Dad is a fighter though and takes the first cop
Right in the throat with a balled up fist
The second cop got him good with his nightstick
Straight to the gut
Daddy is layin there while the good beat him on the ribs
In chains they drag him out to the car
Cussin and yellin up a **** storm
Momma sittin there cryin her eyes out yellin
Baby I love you im sorry
I love you I'm sorry

Time is gone by
Things have called down
While the pigs are takin statements an ****
Right there in the trailer park I see that girl
Some construction workers daughter from west Virginia throws her glasses on the ground
And asks to talk to her lover
He cryin in the backseat
Locked up
she broke my heart when she cradled his bleeding head to her *******
Whisperin I love you baby
With all my heart
She kissed him on the lips
A good long kiss
A movie kiss
Tommorow is Christmas baby I'm gonna bail you out
No you won't baby
We got our rent to pay
There ain't never a passionate kiss in this trailer park
That don't end with both of em tastin blood
Christmas eve in Tennessee means broken teeth and ******
And cops givin out a whippin

Take to the sea
Take to the sea
All is lost on the shore
For bonnie and me

The wind got the sails
The sea took the bite
We sailed on the waters
Into the night

Look at the stars
Look at the stars
We see a good future
In bright shining stars

Bonnie was pretty
And the sails were strong
But lanterns and torches
In the black heart

Thunder and rain
Thunder and rain
A sailor heard the great Sea God
Calling his name

Dashed on the waves
Broak on the foam
The blood of my bonnie
Floats on that foam

Big hungry sharks
Big hungry sharks
Come up from the deep

I saw Alischa
Big pregnant belly
Goin on her second baby

I saw her filling up her cart
with pampers and noodles
she was a kid once with me
we kissed when no one was looking
Sneaking into her house

But now she has a baby
And she is bulging again
I still remember
Her lip gloss pink and soft
The way her skin looked
Through the window
Laughing on the street
our fist shakey-handed attempts at
Love

-My grandma used to say
You can take the girl out of the trailer park......

Her head was covered in stubble
That's where her hair used to be
She touched me with cold fingers
And black serpents writhed in my chest

I could bite my bottom lip off
And gag on my own blood
I come around head swimming
Her fingers in my chest hair
Had me running for the matchbox

She kept the lighter lit a while
And I watched it dance on the end of a safety pin
White hot
We locked eyes
She had me
Third degree
Beneath her thumb

In between the black charred lines of skin
Her tongue would run
Nostrils filled with that smell of cooked flesh
If this is love
I understand

All night long we kept the fire going
Burning old photographs and books for tinder
Not hot enough
Not bright enough

So we lit our little house on fire
Nowhere left to fight-scream-throw things
Not hot enough
Not bright enough

A spark hop
The neighbors house
Smoke alarms screaming like a newborn baby
Spreading so fast
God couldn't stop it
The whole city burned like a cherry
Sirens screech

If this is love
*******

I am a tangled web of scars
Seen and unseen
Man and child
Accustomed to the cold and dark
A black serpent writhed in my chest
The deepness of his fangs and the pull of his grasp
Leaving me swollen, bruised

There is patience in the crook of your arm
Contrasting the track marks  in mine

You dine alone at a table set for two
Your fingers dance about the cold glass of water

Inaatiable is the pull
Pure in in its  testament
Slender chased- taut silent
You observe from the  corner
I cannot read your eyes
The crushing blue beings bring muteness to my lips
Warm and gentle is the  caress of your smile
Your hand warms my cheek
Warming me as a leaf in mornimg sunlight
Daunting mountain of time
I shall climb restless and hungry to prove

But surely this love is true
Tried by fire yet not found wanting
I am entbralled by the organic machinery
Such blue veins upon a pale backdrop
A complexion so radiant
I avert my eyes :  unworthy

I am the broken down wall
Irreparable by Hunan hands
But you grow as vines of green ivy
Between the cracks starving for sun

One day the ivy will consume
And lily blossoms will appear
For all to gaze upon and know
Unselfish love so pure
Teied by fire

A cold wind and no moon
Would he that once crafted the universe
Reach down through the infinite galaxies and
whisper in my ear?

Music, unearthly music
And a spilled ink sky
A drunken servant
once a king
Stumbles onward
Down crooked old street

Firewood turned to ash before my eyes
The desert is cool
Tall Rock night
The thorn bush turns to thickets
Cold black river water
Long haired coyote
Covered in sand
Vultures circle me
Under the moon
I hear voices in my head
Y la lengua es un fuego en el mundo de maldad

She walks
Such a lithe/! feline step all of hips and she knows not
I am tempted so by the organic process of her
When she looks into my eyes
A Loadstone glow
A flicker - spark  

Now an inferno uncontained rages
Between us a cloud of electricity
Static
Waiting

SilentlyI dare glance
into those eyes
Let me
The polarization so instant at our first touch

They tell me she is not mine
She belongs to another
But her eyes

Darling
Thine warm fur next to the fire
Heady wine and adolescence
You say you have forgotten
How it felt to kiss him
This is alright with me
We shall see how the full moon pulls us
Together or apart

Cars drive by outside the window
Lying on the bed smoking cigarettes
Watching the moon come in through the curtains

Heavy hearted
I pass the trailer parks
Shattered windows
Rusted cars
There's a baseball field overgrown
Two miles down
But these mountains surround me
Blankets of fog lay on the hillsides
Rain taps on the roof

I'm a small town kid
And I can smell the tweekers and the ****** down on main drag
smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee outside McDonalds
No one trusts a new face asking around for pills
But the girl walks over to the window
Her black hair is prettier than yours
A ***** t-shirt three times too big
And a big smile

Maybe I just need someone
Who can show me the mountains
Someone who can name the rivers that run through town
Take me to where the Indian villages were
To the face of a cliff covered in graffiti
Take me to where the ***** drunk red neck boys like me
**** pretty quiet girls like you


She showed me where the river flooded
And tore her house from its foundation
She took me to the cold plateau
Of some mountain in west Virginia
far away from mainstreet where
a single stoplight flickers green yellow red
I think Im in love as you point your long white finger at the stars
As you speak in quiet southern drawl
About indians and fireworks in July

Dying days
I'm looking for a way out
Feelin' like a ghost
Itching for an overdose
Action
Reaction
Action
Reaction
Strike the match
Hijack a limousine
Dying for a taste
High octane gasoline
Action
Reaction
**** satisfaction
Read my lips
Nothin' to live for
But the eight ball
Nothin' to live for
Gonna burn it all
Dog bite
Distraction
No satisfaction
Stayin' numb
Action
Reaction

Don't look me up
You will not like what you find
Past is past for a reason
I forgive quickly but
Deep cuts scar the best
Belt around the bicep
I'm accustomed to balled fists
Bruised and pierced
Swimming in a broken blood vessel
Cause I just wanna forget- Everything
I can see it in your eyes
You wanna fight or **** me
Can't tell you the difference
Because
I don't want to go to hell
Maybe just a visit
God hates track marks
But the devil likes to kiss them
Demons want to talk to me
While I'm at dinner with my family
On repeat
The world is spinning
And I am on a certain dark street
Lurch lights a cigarette when the cop lights flash on
One more strike and you're gone
A God of second chances
I would know for certain
Just a peak behind the curtain
Heaven sent oblivion
I'm fine with being alone
Its better this way
Because people ask too many questions
Like:
Why are you wearing long sleeves on a hot summer day?

A two timing bombshell, is still a two timing *****
Forgiving and forgetting
Laughing at  suicidal thoughts
I don't cringe at pain
I infect it with my own remedy
Distilled spirits- The poison of solitude
I haven't yet decided if you are a gift
Or a curse
Your hands seem calm enough
Your lips are steady
Two eyes focusing and focusing under the bar lights
Calm
Collected
Childish infatuation teaming from your words
Is this really happening? Are you really here?
No, you are a figment of a figment of a figment of my imagination
You wrote a love letter
Copied it
Faxed it
Signed it with a flourish
You need love with notorization
Stamped
And approved
I need nothing but your hands
But your eyes
The devil of your tongue
The Sharp stab of pain
The gigantic cool of finite ecstacy
But no
You must break me down
Piece by piece
Marking me off on your checklist of (love)
I failed
I didn't care

I love you anyway-   (I am a moth
                                     Terrified of the flame
                                  But I cannot leave it be
                                For it is much, much too beautiful)

The storyteller
Raconteur
My young life
You tell me
Is a gift, and when I come of age
I will understand

Yet he tells me not to worry
To run in forests
To kiss women
To drink and be merry
This world is so full of malice
One more child
Lost in fantasy cannot hurt it

As I grew I realized
My friends still run in forests
Kiss women
Drink and be merry
But this world is not all malice
Although sometimes it is unkind

Finally I have found the hidden meaning
The long lost
Men have strived for years to see it
Scientist Heroes Titans

But I found it one day
some old summer day
when the sun rays woke me up
-dancing from the blinds-
on the skin of your naked back they danced
so I wrapped my arms around you
and I fell back to sleep