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1.2k · Nov 2011
Reason
JL Nov 2011
The storyteller
Raconteur
My young life
You tell me
Is a gift, and when I come of age
I will understand

Yet he tells me not to worry
To run in forests
To kiss women
To drink and be merry
This world is so full of malice
One more child
Lost in fantasy cannot hurt it

As I grew I realized
My friends still run in forests
Kiss women
Drink and be merry
But this world is not all malice
Although sometimes it is unkind

Finally I have found the hidden meaning
The long lost
Men have strived for years to see it
Scientist Heroes Titans

But I found it one day
some old summer day
when the sun rays woke me up
-dancing from the blinds-
on the skin of your naked back they danced
so I wrapped my arms around you
and I fell back to sleep
1.2k · Jan 2012
The Stone Village
JL Jan 2012
Turning up and down in the wind-every single crane I folded
On the seventeenth day of the fifth month
I took you to go see the gardens
To see the orchids bloom
White Purple and blue
Hanging leaves
Trees like statues on a night without wind
The ghost festival
It was dark in the perfumed gardens
Velvet purple sky
We sat and listened to the far off music
The sound of drums
Traveling along the gurgling river
Sitting down on the edge of a rock
You were laughing and smoking one of my cigarettes
Those wisps of smoke curling around
And the flick flick of your ash on a rock
You thought you were so cool sitting there like Joplin, all strung out and white looking like Courtney love
Your knee high socks
Are smeared in mud and pollen
Just then the music all stopped at the festival down the river
Except for some lone flute playing a haunting other-worldy melody
As we sat looking on the calm purple waters
The children and old women took small paper boats with candles inside
The mothers and the fathers
The sisters and cousins Uncles and brothers
All knee deep in the darkened waters
Pushing those small glowing ships down the river
Leading all those lost souls and spirits
The ghosts of this year's dead flowing out to sea

Like a fleet of stars they slowly drifted
Water reflecting the hundreds of candles
That crescent moon looked so right above the spirits
I watched them clear the bend
- Without taking a breath-
Until you laughed and flicked your cigarette **** into the still water
Ripples of moonlight
Talking about yourself in the dark
Somewhere down the river the music started again
JL Apr 2012
Out of food to feed the sharks
Out of time your wristwatch
Twists off shattering her crystillian face on the sidewalk
Feet that keep pace with the time bomb
Ticking in the head
Of a tall dark hair
All fair complexion
Not to mention a loose torn t shirt
The way that she hurt was diamond rings
The telephone sings  and you're fired from work
So you smoked a slow cigarette
And put it out beneath your foot
The way that your feeling is shocked
And you would give anything
Just to break a bottle on the teeth of your enemy
And tear every letter that she ever
Ever sent to me
I would start a fire
For dinner and a photograph
A time and a place
I know I'm never going back
Everything is going black
Oh that's just your hands?
I would love my eye-sight back
1.2k · Feb 2012
Swan Dive
JL Feb 2012
Grandma calls from the back porch
Feeding moldy bread to the ducks on the pond
Fish came from the depths
And picked apart the biggest pieces

Brand new boots
Torn lace
Flapping on my foot
Tying the pieces around my ankle
Just the black toes of my boots
Toeing the edge of the toolshed roof
Your eyes grin up at me


Toss the hair behind your ear
Fingers
Touching strands
Beneath a rolling black thunderhead

jump

They drag the pond looking for your body
As if they wouldn't have seen you floating.from the shore
Cannons blast
And my eyes tear
And drop on the carpet
I don't know anything


Naked feet on the coffee table
Heaven needs no hand rails
Heaven is where you went
when your long neck broke
Against the wall of the dam

Heaven is where you kiss God's feet
For all of eternity
Kiss his feet
As he shakes the earth, sending buildings
Crashing down on lovers
Kiss his feet
He holds the gravity that drops bombs on children
kiss his feet
As he watches us **** one another
Over our ideas of him
I will be down here
Licking the deep cuts
I deserve
I will be down here
Haunted daily by what you might have been
1.2k · May 2013
Thorn
JL May 2013
I can't remember if Jessica or .4 milligrams
Makes me happy- I would lick the wound
Between her legs or crush her on the spoon
Wash her Filter her **** her through cotton
And find a vein all blue and ******
Like the 1st time again

I drempt awake
I could taste/smell her
On the bed sheets
And the form serpentine constricting
Flow purple and black dying of thirst
Aching until the skin is broken
A little sweet blood drips out and runs
Down between the knuckles
Playing warm on nerve endings like poetry


She left some ugly scar tissue
But she would **** god
Off 4 pills- and leave him
Empty Formless
Their screams in my face
Seem like an echo of a whisper
If you come in this house again
We call the cops


A thief and a liar are brothers
And they do not change in time
I forgot to feel
Even as her legs
Constricted me
******' deeper

I drempt that my heart stopped
And for the first time in ten eons
I was...what's that word?
*Happy
Pauls second letter to the church at Corinth
Corinthians12: 7-10
There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
1.2k · Sep 2012
Paseo Centered
JL Sep 2012
Something in your cell structure compels me
The way your bones form around a soul
Your ribcage are prison bars-
Break free and form new shapes with me
Your long golden wings will carry you from fate
But this body is a prison
Escape.  Soar over green seas and sleep in the silver valleys
Find comfort in the distance of stars and moons
A speck of dust in the desert wind
A cell filled with memories
Of driving a blue pontiac down the 107 in 1962
Spilling blood with Napoleon

It depends on your definition of "life"
It depends on chemical reactions
The fire of electrons

Do you believe a great devil or a great king one sculpted your form
And breathed life into your limbs
Firing you- the black arrow of fate- into the winter wind
1.2k · Feb 2012
Eyes like rubies
JL Feb 2012
One Mississippi
Two Mississippi
Three Mississippi
I first saw you in the desert
Beneath a crescent moon
Where the scorpion and asp
Fight over dust
Stone pillars
In the belly of a dune
Your face half covered
As you ride a white horse

Don't come back
See no evil
It must have been
A dream
Or at least
I awoke to the sound of rain
As it fell in the jungle around me
In the mist of morning
The vines cling and wrap
And monkeys barked like dogs
The snake coiled on the branch
On a log you sit cross-legged
Smiling
Or maybe

You were imagined
When I was stranded at sea
Having fever dreams on the back
Of an orange saftey raft
Until the sun burned the skin
As the fever climbed
Blue cool water beneath me
I fall in
Letting the cold wake me
For a moment
From the terrors
The clear blue water
Sun shining through
I saw you below the waves
Smiling
Turning to kick down into the deep black

I followed you
Watching your white calves kick
Up and down
Following you deeper
Long after my lungs gave way
I descended
Until sunlight couldn't reach me
And your warm fingers
Touched my face
In the frigid deep
And then
You
Became everything
1.2k · Feb 2013
The Android and the Woman
JL Feb 2013
I feel as if I am a king
The music sounds so
Beautiful to me
The violins and cello
Are wind through the willows
The piano's sweet tunes
A garden by moon
And her smile from a stone seat
The flowers spill perfume
On the stone walk
As she and I talk
The music is so sweet
1.2k · Aug 2013
Too Bad Vibration
JL Aug 2013
I am king of cart b4 the horse-intrepidity in the golden silence
But I am also a little white rabbit.
I sit
Upon the solitude waiting to find meaning
And just then my old friend walks in

His name is Robert but that is unimportant
He once sold his furniture for blues
And his wife was not happy when she got home
From hot vacation

This is none of our buisness
But she whisper whisper anyway
Until her words trailed off
Sobs

Old Robert came to work today
You see he did my job b4 me and you know that he could do a much finer job than I.
Much finer.

You see he slept alone in a twin bed sweating for weeks
He he he
Ha ha so much sweat to get off the pills
But he couldn't take the old sick, poor rob
His bones ached


He looks at me
As if I were a river rat heaved soaking wet upon the shore (sober) before his feet
Heaving for a breath of that **** air
I'm no better than him
My bones felt like they were froze solid once
And I had thick nightmares  so vivid
I once climbed up on that horse
It was not so easy to climb down

His wife said goodbye
And his two little girls played in the back seat
He didn't care because he had Ace on speedial

He played good guy
Mr. Clean but that saying about:
Once a ******
Until she let him sleep on the queen sized matress
Next to her again
His little darlings lie awake reading by flashlight



Here he stands before me
And I am tempted to ask for a hook
(Just one ******* dilauded is that too much to ask just one come on  ive been really good I deserve it djdjdksksndjajam ndiejsoskzndjdkskabxhiencbcnrjrjfnrjeisn ego)
He shows me how to do my job the right way
You have to do it like this
Like this like this like this
******' geek I will punch your lights out
As if u would feel it eh?

His pupils were too narrow to fit a pin through
And his hands shook
The old wonderful itch
Oh YES!
Here and there
Upon the neck
The back of the knee
The bicep etc.

I could see it
I could smell and taste the old life on him
The familiar buzzing that seemed to dance on the end of his hair
A fresh track mark on the top of the left hand
I am no better than rob
But he is better than me
I hate him in my heart a thick cancer malignant spreading as rainclouds
Through the soul

I love him brother lets go to south beach and buy out Ace
And I love you. I want to climb inside oblivion and **** me
JL Dec 2011
I rember when we used to live
In a filthy little apartment
I had no money to my name
Just a box fan and a microwave
I was so poor back then... What else is new?
I lived from day to day
Worked my hands to the bone
Just for some food and water
I rember you said
As we sat on our bed
Looking at the color
Of peeling walls
"Kiss me til' I'm tired"
We were poor as could be you and me
Not a penny, nickel, quarter
But we had a piano and an old guiar sitting in the corner
We  played love songs late into night
Laughing at our lyrics

Our little bed
Was big enough
To sleep each night together
The neighbors would come knocking
YET
We loved
We loved
And swore and swore
We'd never love another
Those were the days
I must say
Although we slept some nights hungry
Dirt poor we were in others eyes
But rich in love
Together
1.1k · Apr 2013
Siamese Twin Suicide
JL Apr 2013
I don't really care
I'm just along
For the ride
My shoes are falling apart
And my clothes are Salvation Army Special
Hungry but High
Cancer Ridden
Burning stacks of hundred dollar bills
To stay alive in the winter wind
Bums and the ******* laugh at me
Ha ha I'm pretty funny
She left me high and dry
Because my shoes are holy
Because I made her laugh
At herself
Figurines on the shelf
To the pawn shop
Only  knowing
How to window shop
Brick through the glass
You are mine at last
JL Nov 2011
god
you can feel him in each breath taken by the plants
                                   each breath taken by me
Chlorophyl
Bromine
Cell Structure

god  
is not in the breath of my lungs
or in the depth of my eyes
is not in the hurt of my heart
or the kiss of my spirit

I am a saint
Blasphemy


God
He is no feeling or breath of this world
He is no idea
No crusade
Cross
Truth
Book

He is the understanding and knowing
In this thought
Maybe, I am alone
1.1k · Dec 2013
Untitled
JL Dec 2013
Star and star
The favorable geometry has been broken
Curious: I'll allow the dogs to head orion
While I sling my hammer to my belt
Edging to the light I peer
Into your toy box
Gems Pure Cut In patterns ancient and lonely

Stop: it screams
Go it screams
But I look anyway

Unworthy
Filthy
it gazes upon me knowingly

"It swims in your veins
I smell it upon your very flesh."
Fire

Smoldering I laugh shaking the foundations of Andromeda
JL Jan 2012
Ask me fiery one How I would This moment leave my home behind And walk on bare feet to you It would be nothing to me To cut my heels in your honour I would find you I am sure Watching the sun awaken As you gaze from some unnamed plateau Ask me how quickly I would build you ship Cutting timbers asunder Laying out each piece Tying and hoisting I would put you on your ship Her name being Sunrise Ask me how I will blow into your sails Longer than any tradewind I would take you to Asia And show you the color of life And the song of silence Whisper in your ears The secrets of the east We could gaze at tall spires in the bitter north I would wrestle the Russian Bear And he will gladly give his coat I will fight tooth and nail with wolverines So you can see my blood and fear Soon we will rest in the Mediterranean Drinking heady wine on the warm grass Running barefooted through years of vineyards We can climb the peaks in Greece If you only ask me fiery one I will cast down the Olympian host We can bathe in the city lights of Paris you and I We can haunt the streets in London if you wish We can go anywhere you ask Just tell me where to take you first
1.1k · Sep 2016
Rose Aquarius
JL Sep 2016
We are twins
Finite & infinite
I'd like to direct
Your attention
To our souls
Summiting
Three Sisters
In bitter cold

I bathe in the dark
ocean
Of hair locked
In stare at jade
Cheekbone
Soul sewn
Skin to skin

pretend that you are
Sleeping next to me
Breathing next to me
multiplied and added powers
By the gleam of your laugh
1.1k · Jul 2013
Gabriel You Are a Pussy
JL Jul 2013
I've found a sharp rock
Would you like to see me
Sheer away the nerve endings
I saw a thousand scars upon your wrist
Your hesitation is unbecoming
Much too shallow to hit the main line
And finally find your way home

I collect no pain
I keep it in a jar
Sterilized

and I
lay upon your shoulders
My hide in one piece
Camoflauge to rob the bank
With my face over yours
You may
Enter hell as a king
Or enter heaven as a sore filled Lazarus
Look at me
In the eyes
They are naked

A heart beats in my thorax
But you shine a torch down my throat
Just be sure

So tell me the secret stories of your heart now
I am curios of the dark recesses of your soul
I have torn mine
Root and all from its placement
With it I was rebuilt
Brand new
Taj Mahal
Look upon my architecture
Quite spinal?
Gaze long upon it
Do not forget
**** thoughts
Intricate in placement
Poetry
1.1k · Apr 2012
eyelash
JL Apr 2012
Needle in the hay stack
The spin of the weather vane
I took a drink of you
And felt heavy to the touch
I lay back on my bed and opened up the dark
I woke up dead
Or maybe half alive
I miss the words
That came from your lips
Poems as mystical as a cloud of smoke
I allowed to twist around my fingers
Maybe I thought of them
Maybe not
Words like forests as deep and as dark
You skip from pool to pool of silver moonlight
Beaming through the trees
Singing a song I once heard in a dream
A bird
A whistle
As you snap your fingers
As you tap your foot
You never trip on
The terrible black roots
That reach up like fingers.
Somewhere far away or very near
You picked a flower
And placed it behind your ear
You sit cross legged a minute
As you drink your can of beer on the porch
You say you feel important and high up
Like angels found you and brought you back
To me
How I see the porch light
Reflecting your hair
As you twirled a lock and whispered
Mars is visible tonight
Red and bright
A shooting star
And you wish

On time with the cosmic dance of fire and color and rain
Earthquake Heartache Lust and Pitty
Your eyes glow in every dark alley
Of this sad quiet city
1.1k · Mar 2012
Wake and bake
JL Mar 2012
I'm
Amused
Take your clothes off
Boot lace tracer
It's hard to face her
With her sole pressed to my chest
Homemade tattoo
Made you blue
Lemonade shade
Jaundiced and thin
The gods shine on you
And your polished black blue
Pressing on my throat
And your dagger presssed between my rib
Blood begins to drip
So fast
It could have been a shotgun blast
As you tore my mast
Spit on my sails
Wails
A clean ****
Black leather
Whether or not
Your gonna do
What you've been born to do
Betrayed with a kiss
Your miss
Thirty pieces of silver
And bread with no butter
They say shes a cutter
But she just wants the blood
Pulsing with *******
A torrential downpour of pain
As you cross that concrete bridge
To sin
1.1k · Aug 2012
They Once Drempt of War
JL Aug 2012
He shakes the snow from his fur and tastes the air

A young boy leans against an oak
A rusted sword at his side


The wolf leaves the warmth of his den

(They listened to the old man around the fire
His words hang in the air...)

The wolf bares his yellow teeth

The boy would lie beneath the stars
Imagining the tales
Heracles wounding even the gods

The metallic lure of blood. Skades' perfume was heavy on the morning fog

He slept and drempt
He was in the vale again
Leaning against the old oak
His father's words were harsh-
Only a coward would run from such a glorious death


The hunger was, unbearable now
The wind pulled at his hair




In the cold early morning fog
The spear was heavy, but he was strong
The sword was rusted, but he had cunning



They were alone in the valley
Where the morning fog will never lift
1.1k · Jan 2012
Temper
JL Jan 2012
Like a screen door flyin' off the hinges
Like your truck comin' up the drive way
Temper
It seems to stem from those cigarette burns
On your forearms
Maybe cause your dad made you **** your dog when
She got sick
Maybe because your mother locked you in the closet
Until you screamed for help
Like a pit-bull
with one blue eye
And one green
Your temper turns them red
Slobbering at the mouth
Cutting yourself with stones
Callin' out to devils
A black horse springing
Down from the clouds
I have just as much a right
To have a temper as you
- but you could drag me to church
Talkin' bout how
Music is the devil
Whiskey is the devil
Lazziness
Pride
Guilt
Fornication
You may think like a stupid *******
That the devil gives a ****
The only devil I've ever seen
Pressed his workboot to my throat
When I was fourteen
Screaming
"You ain't no son of mine"
Looking down at me choking

You spit on my face
1.1k · Mar 2016
Lupus and the Pendulum
JL Mar 2016
I stood on the pill gray surface of a moon with my eyes closed against the pitch. Deafening silence encaptulates me swallowing every cell as I sit cross legged in the stomach of it. I felt her. The pump of her heartbeat colossal in the deep. I dissolve and recoagulate 20 trillion kilometers from her belly. White dwarf her ultraviolet laughter washes over me charring me black. Just beyond the speed of light I fight the cold vacuum spiraling  through fathomless rings of planet sized asteroids she has caught within her gravity. I accelerate through her categorizing every element naming some as I go. Her molten core flows pure silver. Radioactive, attractive in totality, she is stealing my electrons and I'm losing all equilibrium. With reckless abandon I arc through her nitrogen ice eyelashes and lips play supernova melting me again into a pool of shimmering metal reflecting her every facet fractaling in infinitum Eye couldn't capture unable to dilate in time. The mind could not comprehend it driving to madness decompressing time. Switching polarity with her smile I float awhile in her warmth basking in total integration. Resting on the glaciers of her clavicles. I run my lips on the molten surface of her neck, and my hands found the small of her back marble smooth in the bitter black. Hair of plasma on obsidian shoulders cradling me as I reform. Her finger  like Olympus Mans presses into my arm and she says something that I could not reproduce even after infinities of calculation. In this brand new mode she runs like code. Strands of proteins or DNA playing over mine becoming prime. The restorative gravity that brought us pulls atomicly until we are not.
1.1k · Jan 2013
Stargazer
JL Jan 2013
Field grazer acting like her parents
Didn't razor better
The year of the ****
The seat of an empire
Dazed by the magnitude
Of our satellite flyer
Making wishes/ playing games
You would find her in the rain
Year of the dog
Cast out vagabond
Didn't trust dad or mom
With the blood caked on their hands
You demand
To know why god won't show himself
On this year of the dog
Galaxies spread out in the darkness
Stars aren't this hot forever
JL Feb 2012
Radio static*

Crackle.....crackle....ladies and gentlemen
Please fasten your seatbelts at this time
The no smoking light is now on
We are beginning our descent
Into madness
I'm using my seatbelt as a dinosaur
To get in one more stick
Before we crash in a gasoline flavored fireball
No music
Nothing special
No one minding
It just is
A mommy holds her sleeping daughter
A buisness man
In a pretty little tie
Loses his mind behind me
Someone tells him
Be cool man your scaring the kids
Everyone is faced with the same question
I drink cold coffee from a Styrofoam cup
Watching the deer play on the clouds outside my
(Little window)
All those times I was embarassed around people and I prayed
"God, please get me out of here"
And I got up and walked out
I wish I could go back and save all those times
To use right now
But when I try to get up
And walk out on my own power
The door opens up ten thousand feet above sea level
And closing
This is the captain ladies and gentlemen
We have suffered a slight engine malfunction
And we are going to try to make an emergency landing
If you have any prayers
Now is the time to use them

All I can do is think about you
As I sit against the bathroom door
I know that if you were here right now
You would probably be wearing headphones
Listening to your "getting ready to die playlist"
Maybe you would put your head on my lap
And try to get some sleep before we get there
I can almost hear you say
"Where we're goin' we won't get much sleep"
So I close my eyes
And lay my head back
Lighting a cigarette beneath the no smoking sign
The GO
JL Sep 2012
I am alone again. It's time to clean out the dark corners of my mind
And sweep the pieces together. They glitter below the naked light bulb
This was the poem I began in haste
this is the line I wish to replace
The feelings I feel are true
A question myself as I walk
How I dream of lying next to you-
I want to share this experience
This pinpoint in (time) in which we were both born
on the precipice of something great
on the edge of decisions
all I know is that i feel the warmth of sun when you look at me
When you speak I am whole and I linger at each word


Do not deny me!
Do not deny this love
I am many things and a liar

But you are present in my heart
and your moments in time and space
Can be prepared on an x and y axis

and there

that point where space and time curve together as two lovers
I died and when I opened my eyes to meet my maker
I was lying next to you on the grass
Because you dragged me to the drive in

and I begged for your neck
and for the softness of your eyes

You are a thorn in my soul
I cannot remove/ Let me sleep next to you
Let me sleep next to you
Let me breathe the same air you breathe
Or i fear I must deny my own soul
1.1k · Feb 2016
Cut
JL Feb 2016
Cut
There is one who is sunlit
  Potent as the jade-green sea
    Inhaling blissfull birdsong
     Exhaling ancient threnodies        
      Years of headlights, rainsoaked
       Highways: miles under desert
        Sun. copper-skinned she's spells 
          To sing with lips love letter soft
           She writes cataclysmic sonnets
           Without using words.
            Unabridged Resolute
             Her asthetic purely Lunar
             He tries to match her
             Inhale to inhale
            Exhale to exhale
           But he is a corpse
          Buried in black soil
        Roots to wrap and swallow him
      Crushing the soul from his bones
     Cursed then to wander mountains
   And watch her rest weary legs as she
  Drinks deeply from Aquarius
1.1k · Apr 2013
Hela
JL Apr 2013
Those who see her shall never again feel the warmth of Sun
Bloodless she sits upon her obsidian throne in the palace Éljúðnir.
Alone most always in her palace she sits
It's walls are built of writhing, poisonous, black serpents
They bite at those who must visit her causing no end of pain. No respite for the
Murderers, thieves, and Oath-breakers as they build the great ship That shall one day carry her father the thief of Sif's golden hair; the evil Loki.
She feeds her captives from a silver plate called Hunger
Using her fork named Famine.
Her daughter's name is Stupidity and her handmaiden is named Senility
The threshold of her palace called Trickery!
As a corpse she silently sits upon the throne
Her left eye glowing green and her right eye deep crimson
1.1k · Sep 2012
Public Text Transmission
JL Sep 2012
Have you ever noticed how the fire looks
How bright it is  
so how will I put it?
How will you read it
If I burnt it at the corner
With a dying match
What will I do with the ashes?
With all these black ashes
Will they lie on my skin
And tattoo me with bad memories
that i name and store perfectly numbered stretched down long dark corridors in small unassuming wooden boxes with little die-caste numbers
She has a mind not fit to waste
And places to be
We are tangled in this spider-web
and the vibrations say "He is returning from the hunt"
His breath smells like alcohol and a scent of gasoline
this would all end up surprising me when i read again the black die-caste number of this night and hour and moment. A second can pass as hours when the eyes are closed
in those moments...
which you will most enjoy
do not panic or struggle against fate

I thought of you in the struggle
for a moment all was golden
and then I entered the other place that is above me
there i spent infinities walking through my dreams
and climbing the tall towers of glass to watch the sun set

it is common for a man to think that he may not dance at the feet of God
but uncommon to see his soul beneath the lock and key of time's invention
find it among the caves that are dark and endless
Leave footprints on the sand of time you fools, so another fool seeing shall take heart again
I will swim in that warm blue sea
JL Feb 2016
February 12, 2016

I lie **** on top of my blankets; praying. Praying. Praying. I am fighting waves of nausea and sleepiness. Medicines I feel sprinting through my veins dragging me downward. No.
The rain slow at first but gathering wrath in the warm night.
Lightning and thunder will come I smell it afar off. Ions heavily scented spill through the atmosphere holes in my plexiglassed window.  
Thunder rolls through my chest shaking deeply my whitewashed plaster cocoon. The cries begin to swell, and echo strangely through the sterile corridors. I am not the only light sleeper, I muse.
I doze momentarily even among the screams of the mentally hilarious; I am called into sleep. They must have doubled the sleeping medication; the storm will be worse than I thought.
I start at a sound. Steady. A theta wave vibrating through my room. I pitch to my side in time to see a lightning bolt slash through the sky. I saw something. The bolt plays hell with my night-vision as I sit upright on my bed.
There. Struggling up the plastic surface of the viewport. It cannot fly in the rain; it struggles for purchase on the portal. I study her. Elegant and slender she reaches the airhole and pulls herself through. Far off the screams wax and wane as the storm intensifies.
Her slender thorax and polished, obsidian, exoskeleton strike excitement through me to a cell. A perfect engine of pain and terror. A great black wasp. She reminds me of a thorn as she rests on the windowsill; unmoving in the air conditioning. Giddily, I shake with excitement nearly overwhelmed. Delicately she cleans water droplets from her abdomen and shakes the moisture from the thin membrane of her wings. I slowly move to my shelf and remove the specimen cup from its placement; silently unscrewing the threaded lid from the clear plastic container. Down the hallway a tired groan and a throaty grunt from one of the other patients. The wind now screams through the breezeport that runs to north toward the cafeteria. A shingle is peeled from the roof of a gazebo and cyclones into a bulkhead. I lick my lips, and consciously check my excitement.
I slide a sheet of crisp white paper from my desk. Quickly, I trap the great insect with the jar and slide the paper over the aperture trapping her between jar and paper. She does not struggle, but looks intelligently at the walls of her new prison. Beautiful, and intricate machinery at work; she readjusts her  wings, observing me with with bulbous eyes. Lightning strikes, and there is a deafening pop as a transformer explodes. For a moment it creates an azure sun outside, and casts curious shadows through my room. In the corridor the lamp light is squelched, and then ignites emergency lamps in scarlet hues as the diesel generator sputters to life and idles. A deafening clackson alarm begins to wail.
I am not aware of this at first; obsessing over my catch. Her form is ******, deadly. Something deep within me stirs at the very site of her. Revulsion? Ecstasy? From my reverie I am stirred by the clanging of doors and staccato laughter in the crimson glow of the storm lights. In a moment I am resolved and I slide the paper from the opening and cover it with my hand. Now footsteps. She senses me and reels in instinct. Without hesitation she draws herself tight as a bow string, poised to ****** the hypodermic stinger into the warm pink flesh of my palm. Quicker than thought she strikes piercing, seemingly to the bone she injects poison. Down the ward doors are slid open and the sound of radio chatter plays toward me. I am engrossed, in bliss as my arm begins to numb. Five times then Nine times she spears me with the barb. My heart beating so hard in my chest that I am sure the orderlies must hear it. Then I hear a burst of static and a sing-song reply of phonetic alphabet followed by my room number. I grasp her delicately from the specimen cup with my thumb and forefinger as she stings me with prejudice beneath the nail bed and cuticles. I cast her through the air hole in my window and quickly lie upon my bed before the door is unlocked. A man in white scrubs and a five o'clock shadow opens my door and pierces me with two steel blue eyes. "You should be asleep." "Get some rest, we will have the lights back on in no time." I smile my head swimming with post adrenal bliss. When suddenly I hear the droning of wings. A sea of raging hornets sounding ominously in the small cell. A black cloud pours through the airhole, countless chittering wings encompass the orderly in a poisonous storm cloud. With vengeance they sting, his eyeballs his hands, his throat. All swelling with purple nebulas of poison. In his mouth they crawl and down his throat. Efficiently suffocating him in mere moments. Then they quiet. All at once they flock to me, walking on my pale naked flesh caressing me with millions of antennae. They do not sting, instead they are still. Their crescent shaped bodies vibrating,  like a cat purr against my cold skin. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing hilariously, and I shudder hardly containing the joy. Then I pick up the radio clipped to the orderlies pants, and pull the 18 inch telescoping  steel baton from the holster belted at his waist. I click the PTT and speak into the radio. Epsilon Wing Cell 005 Accounted for, Over Quintar beep followed by a burst of static and a reply. I cover my mouth to suppress another fit of hysterical laugh. I step barefoot over his body and onto the cold tile of the ward; spinning the heavy keyring on my finger
1.1k · Apr 2012
Me
JL Apr 2012
Me
Myself
I am stupid
A nothing
A slave
But I break free from you
The window shatters.at the diamond tip
Cracking in pieces
Reflect the sky
And rain flashing my shoulder
I stop
I listen
I look
Turning lifetimes between times I've known
Feeling a tangle of weeds at my throat
You bite and clawed until it let me go
Gouging out glass eyes
Million by million
In a silent hilltop
Where a morning fog fell
Where a morning fog fell
Where a morning fog fell

Near the edge of hell
I felt your fingers about my feet
Pulling me from the darkness of a midnight dream
The dreamcatcher tore
The beads on my neck
Where each one touched me like a dagger Sharp
Leaving me scars
All torn apart but a tore a man apart because he started the fire
That killed my old and beautiful mother
Ask me not how a weak man can leave patterns on the sea of time
Someone whose words can cut with every broken glass
Someone who falls asleep dreaming of lost hands
Warm beds at sunset

What am I doing?
JL Nov 2011
I went to a brand new town
Spread out across the desert like a prom queens legs

The place has one restraunt
The place has one gas station

I made a mental note to look em' all in the eyes.
The guy at the counter was human enough

His nametag said MIKE
Mike, your *** is mine

What'll it be boy
**** people who call me boy

Just this
bottle of water

That'll be a dollar, son
**** people who call me son

I pull out a dollar
well...a dollar that looked something like a Colt Python 357.

That put a damper on ol' mikes day
I bet that **** fool ****** himself

I wonder If he noticed the sunlight flickering off  guns mother-of-pearl handle
I sure did

Take all the money. Please just don't **** me
I don't want the money, Mike

He whimpered when I said his name
******* always do that

What do you want then.........
Mike, I want to **** you

Sure enough he had to have a reason
The worst ******' word in the world

Why

and its nemesis

Because

You want to **** me just because?
because why?

Right there I knew Mike would never get it
He would never understand...poor old mike

Your about to get a wake up call Mike
Your about to be free as **** and not know what to do with yourself

Mike stands there with his hands up shaking
At home his wife is talking on the phone to her sister about going up there on vacation

Mike says
Please I have a wife and kids

Please don't **** me
Please Please dear God don't **** me

Mikes daughter was making him a fathers day card with a glue stick and glitter
Mikes son was licking the **** of some girl. Parkeed out by the Big Red Rock.

Mike Listens
Mike wants to live

Listen Mike
I say cool calm and collected

Your about to get it mike
Mike imagines his wife reading his obituary

You are about to lose your own soul Mike
You know...gain the whole world

Your about to be free Mike
You are one of the lucky ones

No need to thank me once you've gone Mike
You just enjoy it

For a second Mike looked like he understood
like he mighta got it

Let that which is given
Become lost

Let that which is gained
Become lost

Let this ******* pig, ****, trash, ****-stained-matress of a life
Be put out with the Monday trash

Mike knew he was in for it
Done for

I asked mike if he wanted to die like a man
I looked him hard in the eyes

He said he sure did
I asked him if he was ready to do the work of the universe

The work of god
Yes I am

I hand mike the gun
and the first bullet takes me through the right eye

So slow I can feel the optic nerve sever
before I die

before I die
I see mike standing over me

Looking down at me
this giant bleeding hole in my head

Mike says thank you
I tell him...Hey Dont Mention It

After he empties the rest of the rounds into my head
Mike walks out into the desert

He walks to my car
Fills it with gas

and gets inside
right there on the seat where I left the

box of shells for him to find
reloading

key turn
engine crank

and the car pulls slowly onto the street
the car drives down the desert road

****, it sure feels good to be free
1.1k · Dec 2011
The Luck of the Waiter
JL Dec 2011
Moss hangs like a dead man
From a white oak tree
Outside a party is shining
A Golden Yacht Club Dream
I work as a server
To the Local Rich
Old Money
Women still wear pearls
Something different in this night
You can feel it on the breeze
A cigar chomping governer called my name
A refill on his drink
...Wine aged God ******* knows how long
A beautiful night in all respects, but not much of a thrill
He called me to your table
You sitting there like that
An angel burning fire
In the carbon dioxide you must be breathing out
Your blue eyes so pale blue I could see full long summer skys stretching out into your minds
Your hair so perfectly tossed
Crashing round bright red lips
Your father called me
And tore you from my brain
Another glass of wine
If you would sir please

Things had calmed down inside my head since then
My break was coming next so it's outside
For a cigarette
And for one shining moment of my life
I recieved a shining grace
Your blue eyes and red lips asking
For a cigarette
1.1k · Mar 2012
Cerveza
JL Mar 2012
Turning screws
That twist with a croak
A hammer in square nails
Boots echo down the stone staircase
Tall machines made of brass
Perfectly greased gears twist against
Bright red tune of strings
Twist tunnels in the black of my mind
Underground trees

Billiard ***** tap in the next room
Where men hunt weak women
With long black teeth
Collars stained red blood
Go to sleep in my family name

Someone taps nails
In my coffin
JL Mar 2013
A black cat crossed my path today
One day I'll die; I'm not afraid
Someday here soon
My heart will stop
And I'll be buried in a box
Back to her
I shall be
Deeper than the dark green sea
I'll be a storm cloud I guess
Or a robin
Scarlet breast
“A Robin Redbreast in a Cage Puts all Heaven in a Rage. A dove house fill’d with doves and pigeons Shudders Hell thro’ all its regions. - bill blake
1.1k · Nov 2011
Summer Meadow
JL Nov 2011
I just want something
To make me feel that way
The way that I used to feel
That way I used to feel
How you look in your eyes
That look in your eyes
The way your hair fell down
Into a shadow from a ship
As it blocked out all the sun
As it floated on and on
1.1k · Feb 2012
Life of Leisure
JL Feb 2012
Lunch time came
Restless and young
I had fingers in your hair
Red like the sunset sun
Skipping school almost
Every day, but today was worth
Going back a grade
We went to the ocean
To the white sand beaches
Waves roll and flow on
Even when no one visits
You put out your yellow and white towel
A place to sit and rest
We threw our shoes and socks in a pile
And felt the cool ocean breath
I remember how you put your hair up
I rolled up my pants
Still dressed up in school clothes
You came and grabbed my hand
Walking down to the edge
Where waves and sand meet
We stood and gazed at giant white clouds
As the shore swallowed our feet
You smiled big as I remember
The wrinkle around your eyes
You jumped into the blue water
With a little running dive
You stood up dripping water
Like a mermaid in a dream

*You stood up glistening in the noon day sun
With your hands above your head
For one moment I know I had seen you
The real girl who I really loved
There is never any faking
Fully dressed in the sea
Some stuff I make up, but this is not...this is one of my happiest memories, and no matter how many times I write it over or think of new ways to say it words will never do it justice. Some things are just to beautiful to cram into a poem
JL Jan 2012
I wish I was a bird
I would sit on top of your car
While you went into the store

I would eat that popcorn you left in the trashcan last night
I would fly around your yard
Waiting for you to come out and let me sing

Sweet notes all the way to class

Whistling your name all the long day

I would sleep on your window sill at night
Keeping a watch over you....
but even after all of that
you still draw the blinds
when I try to watch you undress
JL Feb 2012
The Pale horse came foaming
From a dissipating cloud
The sound of all Hells army

Heat between our fingers
Radiating wonder

Draining bucket after bucket
On the alter we rebuilt

The color from your face is lost
Ravaged you like cancer
Arrows of fire
Poisoned you with fever
Hot sweat boiled between us
As I wait for you to go

But your dreams are perfect
Beneath a shaded oak tree
You fell asleep with me
Flowers growing and dying around us
Trails of sailing clouds
Thin enough to breathe
Fingers are a wonder
Touch softly on my face
Warm or cool it didn't matter

Heaven thank you for taking her
Heaven keep her
The mountains here are cold
I stumble on them alone
The deserts are dry
Sand no longer chokes you
Or cuts your eyes
I drag through them alone

Silent seas of blood
I only wish to drown in
So I can be with you

Hail of fire falls
And I cry for the rocks to fall upon me
Your picture now smeared and faded
As the seals are broken
I fight scorpions with the body of a lion
And the face of a man
As the heaven white ******
Walks on the seas
The dragon circles the shore
Searching for her scent

The wisemen bow before him
Giving gifts of gold
As the book of life is opened
And my name was not called

Breaking from the line to find you
But millions line the streets
Behind me he thunders
Depart for I knew you not

Sent to dine  with Hades
As your candle in heaven is covered
In the black sulfur
Heated beyond any fire
I can smile as you sit beneath an oak
In some corner of heaven
Dreaming about me
What god would not allow
True love to break the gates of fire
1.0k · Jan 2012
Pollen
JL Jan 2012
Just

the

Wind

Of


Your

Voice

From

When

You

Say

My


Name


Could


Make

Me


Float

Away

But

That's okay


It's all okay
JL Mar 2012
Don't **** with the one
Who has taught you all you know

Whispers of doubt
Of denial
Of assassination
Drift through the pack

I don't joke, dog
I dont play
I'll grab you by the throat
With my fangs
And I will never let go

I just want you to feel
Your throat fill with blood
White hot fangs  

The more **** you talk
The more the lust grows
Fullmoons fill me with joy
One more week until you return
One more day until you return
The night is come
A yellow harvest moon is risen over the fields
Snowflakes begin falling
Oh how your blood will look
Beneath the moon
Soaking warm on the silver snow
This was inspired by watching a National Geographic about wolves and then immediately an old samurai movie in which the combatants fight in the snow...js
1.0k · Nov 2012
"Is this a dream?"
JL Nov 2012
You stand in the morning rain
Wearing your plastic shoes and faux
Fur wrap

I am baffled
And I press against the windowpane
to glimpse

Raindrops pelt
and my skin is cold

Like a peacock the black umbrella opens
and you light a cigarette in the rain
(the umbrella held in the crook of your arm)
You are a demon I am sure of this
Smoke pouring from your nostrils and
Dark red lips

You do not wave
but a taxi stops
You turn with some sudenness
towards the window that I watch from


My eyes catching yours
In the cold rain  
Dark green things they are
Peering deeply
Peeling back
Each layer
and a whisper only I can hear
"Is this a dream?"

The taxi door shuts
And the headlights
Through puddles the tires
Churn
I had a dream that I worked in an old department store, and then I saw this woman. I forgot about the dream when I woke up, but I drove by the old Sears and it came back to me all at once.
1.0k · Jan 2012
Dick
JL Jan 2012
Get wet
Get nasty
Get off my bed
Get off
Get off
Just get off
Don't *****
Lick me up
Lick me down
Back and forth
Forth and back
Slap Slap Slapping
The rubbing
The kissing
All the perfect
Warm wet
Soft hair
Soft lips
Soft thighs
A tight grip
1.0k · Feb 2016
The Insomniacs Daydream
JL Feb 2016
In the wake of the moon
All my world is sadness
The crescent hung night
Under whose cover
I drink fire

Hidden from the gods
Hidden from the eyes
Satisfied

Fleeting in the first moment of morning light

I wish to be alone
Staring out from an empty field
I want to see God
Bend down and blow out the sun
Then I would lie down in the ice
And spin through dark eternities
1.0k · Jan 2012
a pickle
JL Jan 2012
It's bed time here for horses
Hours on new years eve
It's bed time for son of Sam
Killing drilling willing
What a dream
But the children have all spoken
It's time to go to sleep
Blaring speakers
Flowering vines alive
Swimming in the ocean
Sun and salt and skin
A fire place build pillars
Of monumental glory
Fighting dogs
****** broke bottles
Spiders crawling on your roof
Give me stones and boulders to sleep on
And don't whisper in your jersey accent
1.0k · Mar 2013
Chi Chi
JL Mar 2013
Lovin' life and hatin' it
It feels good to be alive
I'm makin' it to the parking
Lot to ***** and laugh
At the numbness
I couldn't have done this
If I was still infected
With your love
The smell of your skin
A sin to remember
Forever forever
Knock Knock
You call me over
For coffee
Now you got me
In your house
I can smell
That old scent
I can see
His hand on your knee
But he ain't here now
...Did you put
Whiskey in the coffee?
I let you
Think yah got me
Moving closer
Just like old times
Just like old times
Goodbye
JL Mar 2013
I want to read yall's poetry  forever
Things change always but
Some things remain the same
I want Bernadette's Poetry
She knows I gotta be her number one fan
Love that girl

Makiya, miss green
You'r ethereal grace
Mots dépendant de vos d'à de suis de je d'intrigue

amoureuse de lundi d'oui d'Oui.
Petit dessus de jusqu'au de poumons de mes de Remplir de fumée de La d'aiment
de mots de vos de titres de mort de vos de La
Ann ****** I am crushin' on real hard
And victoria
Like clockwork she indulges me
Even
The poems I am
Not so proud of
Anon C
and Odi...I miss the shadow of your
Shape against my soul
Your words filling my cranial cavity
Like fire spreading
All of those who read and do not comment
That's alright. As long as you don't find me
Annoying on your feed
Follow Me :)
I follow back

The game stays the same
I've lost and lost again
Sleeping in ******* crack houses
Or any warm place
Though I do not regret
The memories ensnared on rubber cement
On my past
Life passes though and with each new day love is found
The moments tick away
But time as they say
LIFE'S BIGGEST ILLUSION
I moved into my grandparents house
They made a little bedroom for me
It is perfect
My parents ...still too fresh in my mind
The pain in my heart belongs to them for
Rebellion is a cruel taskmaster
I work at their church
And they  make me dress up nice
I sit in a pew and sing along
The familiar sting though
Tempts me to make
Just one phone call
To see how he's doing
I won't buy any pills...I promise
A surprising refuge I have found
I wake up like clockwork at four a.m
And run like I am being chased through
The humid 18 hole golf course
Right on their back doorstep
The trees are wonderful, and
A canal overgrown lies past the treeline
And into the deep swampy wood
The willows as mourning widows
Hang over a certain pond I have discovered
There is a girl
But she is the Jesus type
She teaches elementary at the church's school
Her name is Amanda
Her hair is curly and
Her eyes are blue and
Her voice is sweet and gentle
Here hands small
White delicate things
She
Must
Have caught me staring
I will ask her tommorrow
To come eat dinner with me and my grandparents
Maybe we will play Scrabble or
Go to walk to my secret place where the willows
Weep on my pond
I am a king
Happiness floods my heart
Because I know I'm lucky
And at this moment
I am content with this life
Just because I didn't list you in the poem doesn't mean I don't like you poetry! I just talk these peoples ears offs! Don't be afraid to message me I promise I'm great at parties!
1.0k · Mar 2016
Evacepate
JL Mar 2016
Unhitched feel me now like a blast furnace     Total ****-up   Remeber? the one who was pallbearer & genderless
Neo natal I'm at the rim pitch black coughing up laughter finding **** in the face of it
Cog in the computer
Backward  bell curve
Left skewed
Average
Low
So low
Nobody in particular really
just mashing buttons hoping it's a payoff
Not god just a phantom limb living for the hell of it
ego antipode
1.0k · Feb 2013
#6
JL Feb 2013
#6
Solitude brings it out of the creature
It's confusion apparent to the greater
M.I.N.D
Through the maze it scurries
Beneath the surgical lights
It could be the starvation
Violence its only outlet
Learned from old books and tapes
It easily outsmarted the psychiatrist
Memorizing the answers to the examinations
It always says the right thing
planting lies in the right light
Watering them when the time calls
One night it will chew and hack its way
Through the gleaming, sterile walls
To live forever among the trees and grass
JL Nov 2012
I wanted to show you
What I saw in my own
Eyes. I had to fit them
Into litte words in English
That you could understand
Then line them up just right
In order of one two three
Now do you see? I took a
piece of charocoal and a clean
White page and began to
draw that thing I saw
Don't you see? I made
A song I danced a dance
Just so you could understand
Only so many places for words
And lines that I can stumble over
Until like lightning or a hammer
Strike the same point twice
Until all the expressions seem
Lifeless and or trite
1.0k · Mar 2013
Trinket
JL Mar 2013
Your heart is porcelain
You cradle it in the darkness
In the dust you run your fingers
Against the edges searching desperately
For cracks that appear
Chastising yourself when one is found
Filling the spaces with glue
Hoping nothing will escape it
Did you hear me knocking?
Did you hear me walking up the stairs?
Creak
Creak

Your bedroom door swings open
You lie on the bed made up perfectly
Running your fingers along
The chambers and honeycomb connecting
Tissue.
The room dim lit and dust
Ten million nerve endings connect and discharge on your skin where we touch
Rushing armies of red blood cells swim to satiate the need in your brain
For oxygen
You recoil at my touch at first
Understandable
So I pull the brittle dust covered rocking chair
From the corner
I pull up the blind to let the yellow afternoon sun pour in
Pupils adjusting from shadow
You detest the warmth and brightness for a moment.
Your eyes wide with fear as
I sit in the old chair
A strange statue I feel I have become
Watching you
Watching me
I read to you
From a dusty tome
Full of English poetry
"Would you come outside
And play with me?"
JL Feb 2012
Be careful, child
My heart is cracking porcelain
Be gentle little girl
You're playing with the fire again

I said please, honey
Try to take it easy on me
I forgot what love was like
A left and right
Your house at the end of the road

Such a beautiful house you have, honey
Did you paint it on your own?
You have a pretty garden
Are those tulips in the yard?

It's beautiful the way the sun comes in
Through the windows
It's so great in here
I'm so happy to be here
Let's hold hands -
Oh I'm sorry
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