No one understands you because you imagine you are better
                    Than all the others
                                When your feast is served you share nothing

2. You are hungry yet you have eaten fully
                        You stumble
                                The wine is so heavy in your belly
3. The people walk the empty streets
     Crowded

    Sitting in waiting rooms
     Coughing
    
    Standing in line
(You look into crowds of empty eyes)

4. The cuts on your wrist are silent
                          (Yet you speak incessantly of them
                             As of they are your children)
      The cuts on your legs are silent
                            (Easier to hide these cuts
                                      Not so bright red against the pale backdrop of your arm)

5. Your hair is long
        The day is cold and wind cursed
            You press at the hem of your skirt

6. The place once called home is still there
     Somehow different
        Quieter -
        Everyone is awake
         Gone                               Somewhere they make sound and love to the sky

              unstable

7. You sleep but you find no rest
     You awaken but you still feel like you are sleeping
   The dreams turn to nightmares
Flashbacks/memories of things once loved now hated
Things once pure are now full of lies
         (The radio crackles as you search for the station)

8. You cover yourself in clothes
     You think silly thoughts
"I'm alive! I matter!"

9. You want to believe
     You want to have the faith of a child
              But children don't see the things you've seen
             You feel the barb of pain
                     Throbbing in your ribs

10. Your mind is now your greatest enemy
         It tells you
     Love.     The flamiliar heat of wonder
                    You squeeze your thighs together
Hate.        The lonliness that comes
                   When the heat dies



        You lie on your bed
       Unable to defeat the enemy of self
     You lie awake
      Praying but none listen
You whisper thoughts of longing    your flesh alone against the sheets

You think-
Too much
Into (things)
When all in all
You are moment
In a million years of time
The difference between you and the earth
Is when her needle stops
Someone turns the record over
But after you only a hum_
Stop trying to beat against
Fall into the river
Let it breathe around your skin
Stop trying to remeber
Stop trying to forget
Let it all come to you
Let the dream take its course
Tommorow he will love
Today he is a ****

35
36
37

Don't listen to heaven
Don't listen to the sound
The song that is coming
Is your lungs
The belly of your hurt

Let go Jessica
Let go Tim
Let go Daniel
Let go Kim

No one really needs you
You're your only friend

So you might as well be the bluebird
He knows how to think
When everyone is dying
He flys
Through cloudy dreams
Up towards rainbow sunlight
Down to grassy ground
Its you who whistles sweetly
While others make no sound

In my throat you have taken root-
The radical violates my lips
Gouging my smile until teeth are broken
Its humid tendrils drop black soil in the cavity of my lungs
The bark of the ***** startled the rabbit
All this reflected in the eye of a raven

Firstborn:
How have I known thee?
Surely it is not our first meeting you and I spring
Come and gone are the lifetimes
Past eternities we have known:
In which we ran naked through the orchards
Sleeping beneath a sky of stars innumerable
A sky still ****** of smoke

I walked in the cool evening
Two dogs at my heels
When we met
I was born and the words were dammed up
The flute of Pan was played as in moonlight we lay
Unafraid Spring and I

Who hath sculpted mountains?
Wind and water are the paint and brush
Stone and flame-Ice and sea
Lightning dancing cloud to cloud
Surely Thor's begun to weld
Upon the anvil of the sky

What is poetry to a flower
A single petal gives justice to a thousand lifetimes
Oh to be
In the vein of a leaf
Or the one running blue o'r your thin wrist

Be still and listen
For a night
For a day
God sings a song of Spring
Love not thyself

Out on the palms
Like pillars stand strong
Bent tillers broken by a storm
That the mood looked red like blood
Looking into get away
But the grass grows tall
Hidden in the corn
With leaves that cut me
A scar on my eye
The blood is hot
A trail of hungry hounds
Starving from the east
I can't sleep
Even when I have a fire in the mouth of a deep cave
And I can sleep in the corner with my knife out

I cannot tell the difference between real life and dreams
Your face still and smooth
The marble cold floor you lay your back on
It became almost enough
Because i can drink the devil under the table
It feels like I'm thirteen
And I still just want to fight
And scream
I can throw a rock into the stream
Where I once  fished all summer

I feel inclined to forget all about you
to just let it all go and pass out to sea
but like stars they come back
thoughts of you every night.

Rember that time
At the end of the path
Full of grasshoppers mating
When We sat on the edge of
The edge of that old dock

I rember because we talked about your dad
How he was murdered some warm night  in may


I rember because we watched the fish jump
How the river went so fast
I can never forget

I rember
Too well

I want nothing more than to

                                                forget


One afternoon we spent together
A lifetime I will still be trying
To do nothing more than
                                                forget

Stillness

I believe I have fallen for you hard
Each of my daily routines are interrupted
By single moments of infinite happiness in which
I imagine you are thinking of me

I laugh
At my
Pistol-whipped
Forehead
Bleeding in the sunset
You have no Ideas
Of my yearning
-Your saynothings-
Say everything
-Your longlookings-
Tear holes in me
Your breathy eyes
Are long awaited
By someone like
Me
Your someone I know
Who sat across from me
In a basement
Who laughed with me
Rollecoastering
All the while not knowing
Your smile Is warmer than any sunset
Even this one
I look at longingly
I know tonight you will kiss the neck of another
Wrapped In the poison arms of another
While I nurse this forehead of mine
This broken heart of mine

Stumbling on the sidewalks
Curving as the sun stops
Dew covered grass tears
Dripping mirror crosswalks
Bones and muscle bend and slip
Walking down the sliver strip
To the bridge that crosses county lines
Midnight
I feel right
Angels cross the star stained sky
Tonight
A good night to die
The edge above the violent sea
Always seemed so calm to me
I guess anything can seem alright
If you look in the right light
Above the waves
Above the moons
Above the stars
Above the hells the devil looms

I asked you please don't go there
I won't lose this gamble with you
Down the stairs you must have dropped me
Because I some up all alone
And the basement steps lasted forever
They went to the middle of the world
Where caves burned the the rubber of your shoes
With black hot fire
In you ****** up all the heat
And demons in your lungs
And right there
In the belly
I found the flashlight  and turned it on
White circles around everything that breaths in the dark

I followed you as deep as I could
But you were always weeping round the next corner
And your dress caught pieces on the stone
Until.    
One night
In the belly of a cavern
Surrounded on all sides by a lake
I found a glowing flower
On the wet sandy beach
And for a moment
I looked about me
The flashlight caught on every ruby
And millions flashed red
And reflected like moons
In the deep dark belly

Yeah there is some of this still stuck between my bones. White like sea birds dipping on the wind
You are thunder and lightning
A wind that pulls at my only soul

The scratch of the grasshopper
As rain taps here and.           There
On the roof

Can you understand
That the gust of your word breaths
Dip deep rooted trees
A haunted howl on the wind
The scent of lavander and rose bud

How that would smell
On the give of your neck

The waves stir demon high
From the scream of your whisper
Floods homes next to the sea

But I would sleep on a wet floor
Sleep cold in your wind

Today I threw it all into the river
And the pieces all splashed
Pulled along the current

If I die
Put my body in the sea
Where your storms boil

I am the authority of this poem
I can open it and close it at a whim

I can pull it apart and back together
But just as strongly it can control me

Her secrets are whispered in darkness
Her truths are shouted in the streets

Of sunsets or snows or broken bottles
It has meaning
My meaning

Hidden in its quiet pages
I find all in this world I need

Patience I Am stone
Your Touch Disrupt
I Hope I Can Leave
This Part Of Me With You

You Scraped Me Against The Stone
Until I Became
Sharp To The Touch

Consume
A dream
Lucid to
The touch
Of your
Tongue on
It's surface
Licking the
Screen free
Of dust
Cloud talk
Wind walk
Rain song
Waist
Hips
Fingers
On my dreams
Softly linger

No one is that lucky
Telling me
You're free as a bird
No one is that lucky
Flying wing
Into the wind
That beautiful earth
Stretching out before you
Anywhere, Everywhere
Spend a day in the clouds,
But no one is that lucky
No one

Well look if it isn't sunset
The whole ground is black
As an orange sun slips
Behind the tree line
The call of birds
Where children still play at the edge
Glowing in lamplight

A broken vessel
Poured out on the kitchen floor
Dirt and dust
Chipped points of bone

I don't understand destiny
Or if it all hasn't happened
Dreaming in my bed

Move on
As your fingernails grow

Cutting your hair back month by month
And I wonder

What is it you're running away from?
What is it you see when you close your eyes
And why are you so afraid of it?
I'll make up some exscuse
Put on cruise control
Light my cigarette
Whatever
*******
The sun hasn't come up yet and I have a long drive home

I imagine I'll find some sleep somewhere out in that dark
Between here and home

I'm afraid of what is happening to me
I think I'm becoming a monster
Nausea and numbness
Withdrawl symptoms keeping me awake

Head back home, son
I try not to *****
I try to keep the wheels in the center of the road
I try not to think about you
As I fall asleep at the wheel
But you come to me in these vibrant dreams
Full of color and light
And you tell me things like:
Go home
Forget about me

Even if it is just a couplet or a pove loem to the girl at the pizza place
I am going to write something
Maybe it will be about you? Or me? Us?
Or maybe I will walk outside and get hit by a car...
You know what on second thought, I might write two things today

just nod if you understand
Close your eyes if you remember
I think you've started to
Let the memories slip between the cracks and
Now they dye your dreams
Clay colored were the thoughts of us
On a dark beach watching a gibbus moon rise
Oh you've forgotten

How two swans slept upon the pond
And we sat in the grass
Watching them drift

Naked feet
Car ride speeding next to the sea
The sky was more blue then
I remember
But I was Too young you told me
I wish I wasn't old enough to  
To feel this cut

I feel it in the grass and in the driving rain
In lonely amber sunsets
Ending long hot summer days
You tell me it's not real but I'm sure that I can feel it
If you give us one more chance
Were never gonna make it
So here's to giving up
Raising up your glasses
A toast to sleeping alone
And one for lost romances

I'm gonna take my time
Give or take a minute
When your talking about life
I don't really need it

You talk to me about love
Like it's a place you visit
Just to sit a while
You leave before it's ended
So you can't understand
This feeling that I'm knowing
Cause you're already gone
One day you will regret it

Silent drone father
Never feeds the hive in life
Mates once-then eaten

I have one minute to write out a poem

One pencil I think I have broken

And one broken heart

I'm taping together

So I took this broken pencil

And I pushed it to the page

The lines that I was making

Start to scream your name

So I sit back wondering

If I deserve it

You make my mind blank

Make my time slow

But I really don't need

I have time

Girl, it's none of your buisness

But I guess your close

So we might as well do this

You dont have a name

Or a penny

So I'll pay for the groceries

With useless paper money

And I fixed your ceiling fan

You are so hot, honey

When your car broke down

I spent the night

Under your hood

You didn't give a thank you

Even when my hands were ******

From the corners of my broken heart

From all the metal you left rusting

The oil and the blood

Don't look so poetic

In the afternoon sun

Is there dirt on my face

When I walk back up to your place

To say that your car works

And I guess you won't be needing me

So I gave up on trying

To win you over

Each time I came up for breath

You push me back under

The waves of dying come slow now

To all of us

Nothing a cigarette

and a beer won't fix

I'm going home

I don't need this

I need a fire

But you only

wanted sparks again

6:53 a.m
and the sky is smeared in red
Sailors take warning
A heavy drop of rain on my skullcap
then another and another
I stand with pewter cup in hand
Full of rain water and instant coffee
6:54 am

Johnnie Walker
Gave me the blues
I should sit down for a minute
On the phone
Call to see if your friends are home
Your gonna have to sit alone
And laugh at my name
Rave on

The world doesn't ******* revolve around you

Here I am back again
Making sense out of letters
That somehow get delivered
Your laugh is a memory
I replay like a record
The way your eyes are blue
Like the sea
Like the sea
Like the sky
Like the sky

The worst is behind you
Deleted off the answering machine
Hey its just me again
Just calling to see if your still breathing
Are you still putting food in your mouth
Waking up in the morning
You wash dishes
Are you still alive
After the tone
Do you still wake up to the shotgun blast alarm clock
Do you still sleep with the lights off
Do you like it cold
Do you look in the mirror?
Say my name

Do you still walk the streets we walked?

Alive
I don't understand how I can hear this voice
My own is real and human
Whispering from the dreams
Of real human thinking
Whispering
Writting
I just wish some golden dream of clouds beating through the heat orange skys
Surrounded by the darkest blue
I finally understand
These words I write
Because the futures I don't believe
Slow down  slow down. Slow down
The sound is like wind that screams through everything
Like twisting birds in your eye
Between branches
Between soil
Cold
I speak these words
Real for an instant, lost forever

Without you
I lie alone in my bed listening to wind
Walk through the pepper trees

Auchenorrhyncha I deny your song
Rest now brother
Tsukuyomi,
Silence your children
We must sleep
We must sleep
        
              Winter: sings his song in the churchyard
The Stone Village
           Where my family sleeps
The dog barks as a chorus
             On the earthen streets
The door is untouched
                     Unlatched
                    Silent
         I excpect your fingers tonight  upon the gilded handle
                    Warm-blooded bird
                     Rest your wings  at the branch
        Sound not your warning to me  At her arrival   /    
 for my bed
                   Is no longer her bed

Lover,
The neon lights called to you
Thickening  your blood
                
                  The alcohol ravaged you
        Your hands trembled at his touch

            Crossing your legs
               At
The knee
            Soaking
               The warmth of your belly
The flame of your        hips: tightening
                  As you   lighten  your grasp on
                         Control
       The cradle of your lips- no longer subdued
                  The grace of your eyes      melting
Into the back of your
Dry throat
                                  
                             ­                You sat in the car
With the heat on full blast

Looking at the ring I bled to buy for you

          You took it off- so it wouldn't cut him as you ******

When you put it back on


It's familiar weight

         felt so right

You have to sleep sometime you know you cant keep this
going on forever what are you so afraid of
is it something in your dreams is it someone in your dreams is it somewhere in you dreams
are you lost
I am
its ok but you just cant
lie awake
you need a break
just close your eyes for
one minute
trust me that you need it
and
if it is me who haunts your dreams
I am sorry

But, it is your fault you can't get over it
How I just left you there alone
It's not like you couldn't tell by the look of my eyes
That I was going home with him

Yes beautiful dreamer
It is you who haunts my dreams
Sleep Sickness
It's not that I want to remeber you, dearest
I am just not as heartless as you
Or as quick to forget

Still
by
the trees

The shadow
skipping in the sun

what can I do
at the sight of you

breathe in your curse words
exhale smoke
your worlds rhyme with jokes
you talk me back down with thoughts of home
That feeling of "I never wanna be alone" go to sleep wake up die of old age
You dream less in sleep
More when awake

Dark streets where bad memories once followed me
Lanes covered by arms of old oak trees
Long walks cracked and gray
Where the shadows of our drunken feet
Walk away

Here is a moment of my life
In which I wish to stay the same
To keep bottled up for when you forget my name

-you stop and say
were just two humans
made to break away-

Off to the next ****
You broke my heart
Beneath the dark oaks

Kiss and ****
**** and kiss
Repeating seeming
Dreaming Dreaming

I would tie your finger to mine
As to not lose you among the waves
As usual I know I could close my eyes
Visions you shine up my spine
Lost or found
Does the difference matter
As long as we dream beneath those stars again
I am too close to breathe in
The center towards nowhere pulls ever closer
If that string breaks I will reach out
Out into the pulsing sun of your life
Into the star of your mind
Would I be an angel then
The long faded memory
Compacted over and over again
As you replay in your mind
I shrink down into nothing
My soul rubs against the warmth of your skin
Do you feel every scream of my mind and body
Shouting if


You were not with another

Certainly I have met the honest liar
Before his teeth were sharpened to points
I watched him clean his ****** hands in the river
The loneliness leaning upon him like a mountain
His will is strong and his shoulders do not sink
Hammer and forge, dog at his heel
First son, I am your mark

Your body is eleven temples and at the cold jade alter the incense swirls

You are the inky crescent tying
Knots to the tide

Riddling me again

A well placed storm
Tears me from your port

And the fog of you settles over me
Frigid among the waves

On your green couch I pass in and out
Your trailer door is open wide
The world outside is shining alright
As I pet your long haired cat
My limbs get warm as the liquor you poured
Slips in between my veins
And my thoughts turn red
As you rise from the bed
With not a bit of clothes on
But I try not to care
I just can't stand
As I pet your long haired cat
With a hiss and a bite
She jumps off
And you shut your bedroom door

Everything is falling apart
And coming together
It's warm outside
And not even summer
The grass is green and I'm tired of lying
Me and God went to fists under the moon

And I woke up alone
Next to a stone wall covered in ivy
The sounds of morning were all around me
I wipe my red puffy eyes
The fog is full

I am all alone
And I curl up back to sleep
I don't need anything anymore

rolling wind
kiss my face
I listen

as God of my
world I must
tell you

I see the world
happen 'for my
eyes

Sometimes I
wonder at you
what world
you see in your
blue eyes

Crawl along dear afternoon
The flaming hoops I'm jumping through
I lie alone against the floor
The car is slamming on the door
You ring my bell and spill my drink
But I am already drunk I think
The taste of smell the luck of smoke
Cars are sliding down the road
Repeating reflections of red brake lights
Shining in my eyes
I am too high
To run the numbers
To poke the embers
Add some quiet
Along this street
I dream of walking down this street humming
Your arc of an arm
Around my heart
Writting our name in sidewalk chalk
Waiting for you on my bedroom floor
Wrapped in your blanket
Wishing for your skin
To make me warm
Begging on the street
For a minute of sleep

If ye are the white page
I shall be that black mark
Senseless confusion abides
I thy center
Cloudless sky
Or single bird be ye:
I die a million lives
Within thee
Reincarnated eternal
If it gives but a single breath
To your song

Walking alone
Down down darkened roads
Cars pass lazily by
In chilling moonlight
Trees bending in a  quiet fog
Softly goes the breeze
Stars thrown out like embers
On a darkened sea

Then all along
My wandering mind I lead
My memories fade too quickly
To a night like this I had with You
From six months ago at least


I see you  sitting alone
At a party in Ohio
Laughing at a song
That someone played
Just to win you over
I watched you laugh in childish joy
I wish would never stop



I wish there was something I could say before I leave
To make you want to go
Yet I find myself walking out
Into the winter cold
And just as I began to walk
I hear you coming out
Telling me to wait a second
Before I get too lost

You ask me where I'm going
And I say "I dont know"
But you say you'll walk with me
Once you grab your coat

I don't know where we're going
I don't know where to stay
But from beside me I hear you saying

"If your walking out to nowhere at least go my way"

It's dead
She's dead
It's all gone
*******
That touch the puddle
Of your crimson life blood
The knife was cleaned
And put in a bag

I walked down to the sea
And threw the bag from the rock

It splashed into the waves
Gone

What now
Which way
I wonder who is watching
Everywhere I go
I am haunted by your eyes
I see eternity in them
The black infinite black of forever
And just as my soul begins go reach out
******* towards the puddle of black

Sweet Carolina
I love your little voice
I love your little mind
I want to share your days
For the rest of time

You told me that you need me
You told me of the days
Before we were together
Before you knew my name
How you walked into the future
Looking for some words
Carved into the trees
Blown upon the wind
Flying on a wing
Hunting with the fang
The terror of the moonlight
The darkness of the rain
Silent Sunsets
Words and Names

I bathe
In the moon-soaked
Ocean of you  
Sewn
Soul to soul

pretend that you are
Sleeping next to me
Breathing next to me
multiplied and added powers
By the gleam of your laugh