Trillion little grains
Running up your skin
Staggering and lying
Through everything
One side is summer
Like a barn door
You smelled of hay
And gasoline
A moment of clarity
Dressed all in black
Eyes like a sunset
The moon of your heart
If loving you made me a liar
A liar I must be
You stepped in water
You stepped on ice
A heart like an ashtray
You were out like a light

Its gonna hurt tommorow
The light will hurt tommorow
The sun too bright tommorow

But tonight
My feet haven't touched the ground once

I bent down
And looked down at the lost people
Ill have to walk with them again
but not until tommorow

Always wanting more
I can only think "faster"
It was dark on A1A
The engine beneath me
Vibrating and growling
Like a monster hungry for road
70 miles an hour
Right next to the sea
The bike shifts
And jerks
My dad in my ear
"I told you not to ride those ******* Harleys"

In the dark
The yellow headlight splits the road
70 miles an hour speeding by the sea
Curving roads
I rode as a boy
I could ride this road with my eyes closed
The snarl of the motor
The pull of the wind
On my hair
Snapping my white t-shirt around me like a ghost
Speeding through the black
70 miles per hour next to the sea
And I miss the warm of your arms around me

I am saddened at the thought
That another will kiss you goodnight

Maybe those eyes
Are just eyes to him

If you understood
How I would not take your
eyes so lightly


Tonight I will sleep alone
Colder than your pillow

I walked to the ocean
And swam in her waves
Until I saw a storm coming my way
The birds began flying
To find a dry place
As the first drops of rain
Fall on my face
The shells that I collected
To make you a necklace
Jingled and jangled
Down in my pocket
Now I'm covered in rain
Now I'm covered in sea
Just to see you happy
It's worth it to me

The glow of my cigarette lighter compared to the void of
darkness between me and the earth
I stepped on bones
Breaking them beneath my boots
Haunted bones
Between me and the echo
There is nothing
I reach out
Feeling for something
Reaching through time
Feeling the ribbon of your soft hair lying upon your skin
As you doze off alone in the comfort of the white pull of sleep

Take to the sea
Take to the sea
All is lost on the shore
For bonnie and me

The wind got the sails
The sea took the bite
We sailed on the waters
Into the night

Look at the stars
Look at the stars
We see a good future
In bright shining stars

Bonnie was pretty
And the sails were strong
But lanterns and torches
In the black heart

Thunder and rain
Thunder and rain
A sailor heard the great Sea God
Calling his name

Dashed on the waves
Broak on the foam
The blood of my bonnie
Floats on that foam

Big hungry sharks
Big hungry sharks
Come up from the deep

You wouldn't understand me
Even if the lights were on
The window is wide open
Open to the wind
I let the wind
Blow through your hair
Through the window
Throw your hair
listening to your music
drinking from your
brand new flask
The old flamiliar burn
Waiting for my mind to shut down
And float through the dark of space

Ok, doll eyes
Don't get all worried
I'm a nobody
Just a fly upon the wall
I have a face with only
Forgetful features
I'm a one night stand
Just some guy bumming smokes off fate
I never jump right in
I just circle the water
Testing it for ph levels
Testing for temperature
I stand up shaking the dripping thermometer
"Yeah go on in the waters fine"
I would rather be in the corner getting drunk alone
Watching God and the devil at war
Just an eye
Watching the goings on
I won't say that maybe
I test fate
Ok...I always do
Running off at the mouth
Saying too much
Listening too little
I don't sit there and watch the devil fight God
I jump in and lay into God's jaw
Breaking a chair on the devils groin
I'm a bleeder
A scrapper
A lover
A Mystic
A drunk
A scientist
A wizard
A thief
A warden
A friend
I just want to be everything for you
I can be all the right things
I can be all the right times
I can take a hint
Or leave it
One time I asked to pass on who wants to be a millionare
:.........on the one million dollar question
So here is your one million dollar question
In riddle  form:
What has two blue eyes
That see only good
Two white hands
That only show love
And one beating heart that wants nothing more than to tell you the truth

Turning up and down in the wind-every single crane I folded
On the seventeenth day of the fifth month
I took you to go see the gardens
To see the orchids bloom
White Purple and blue
Hanging leaves
Trees like statues on a night without wind
The ghost festival
It was dark in the perfumed gardens
Velvet purple sky
We sat and listened to the far off music
The sound of drums
Traveling along the gurgling river
Sitting down on the edge of a rock
You were laughing and smoking one of my cigarettes
Those wisps of smoke curling around
And the flick flick of your ash on a rock
You thought you were so cool sitting there like Joplin, all strung out and white looking like Courtney love
Your knee high socks
Are smeared in mud and pollen
Just then the music all stopped at the festival down the river
Except for some lone flute playing a haunting other-worldy melody
As we sat looking on the calm purple waters
The children and old women took small paper boats with candles inside
The mothers and the fathers
The sisters and cousins Uncles and brothers
All knee deep in the darkened waters
Pushing those small glowing ships down the river
Leading all those lost souls and spirits
The ghosts of this year's dead flowing out to sea

Like a fleet of stars they slowly drifted
Water reflecting the hundreds of candles
That crescent moon looked so right above the spirits
I watched them clear the bend
- Without taking a breath-
Until you laughed and flicked your cigarette **** into the still water
Ripples of moonlight
Talking about yourself in the dark
Somewhere down the river the music started again

Charles D. Jay died on October 12, 2011
My great uncle
I never said one word to him my whole life
In the will he left my grandma everything
He was crushed after the death of his wife in 2010
And then the death of his dog Sandy in early 2011
Then like clockwork colon cancer

Walking into that house
The smell of coffee and old carpet
A smell I was all too flamiliar with
Growing up in Southern Baptist churches
You can't get away from stuff like that

He left it all in that house
Just packed in
Room after noon
Were talking about a little mansion here
He had a dining room and everything
Big old piano that he must have enjoyed playing
I took that old thing and loaded up all by myself in the back of a pick up and now its at home
In the middle of my livingroom
With drink circles and ash trays like at some club

Making it back to the house
I checked his study
Filled with books
And beautiful black vinyl records
Every single jazz musician from Dizzy to Armstrong
He had em' all the standards- the jivers-big band-street bands
Even the priceless club jam sessions
People clapping
And yellin
Hollerin'
Trumpets and sax
Foot tapping
Needless to say
I spent the rest of that night drunk on Charle's most expensive bottle of gin
Jazz records
Pulled from sleeves
On the couch
Covering the floor
Every record he had ever bought
That was his real funeral
Because I know if I died
I would want someone to listen through every song I ever loved

Even if it is just a couplet or a pove loem to the girl at the pizza place
I am going to write something
Maybe it will be about you? Or me? Us?
Or maybe I will walk outside and get hit by a car...
You know what on second thought, I might write two things today

I woke up this morning
And made coffee and got in the car
I drove half-way to work when I saw that same
God ****** Jesus Loves You billboard on 95
I turned around and went back to fish in the inlet
I spent the rest of the day smoking my grandpas pipe
And cutting my fingers with a pocket knife
I hope I get fired

My old man had me spend a summer in Texas
Building diesels and changing tires
It was every day out in that hot sun
Thinkin about you to pass the time
Hard rock radio station playing all day
I was seventeen alone in the desert
Living out of a hotel room
I smoked *** with the owner of the place
I would go down late at night to the lobby
Just to have one minute away from that **** t.v
Jay was the Indian guy I rolled joints with on many nights
He would sell liquor to all me and the guys staying at the place
But he treated me different like he knew me
I mean the other guys
They didn't leave a lot behind
But I left it all
I left you
I sat in the back of a pick up
Watching tears roll down your face
Waving at me
It never hurt so much
To do anything
I had a broken heart
No telephone call could heal
Even if I spent a good chunk of change on long distance charges
Falling asleep on the phone every night
Jay left his wife in Bangladesh
He said
(One time when he was very drunk)
That he left his soul with her
That he kept her picture rolled up in his pocket
Just like I kept yours in my pocket
Leaving it on the bed side table
Next to empty bottles and ash trays
I learned that summer
That you weren't meant for me
That you were ******* half the town while I was gone
At least you didn't tell me
Until I got back home
It was the nicest thing you ever did
Besides sending me that letter bathed in your perfume
I kept that under my pillow
Until it was as wrinkled and faded as your photo
All those beautiful girls
I thought were nothing
That waitress at the hotel bar
Who sat for hours talking with me
About you
And work
And time
And family
And love
She was perfect
She was beautiful
She really did care
And my only regret is that I wasted so much time filling my memory with your lying green  eyes, and not her honest blue eyes

Goodbye for now
I'm gonna miss you
A lot

I'm gonna miss those flowered dresses

I'm gonna miss you putting on make-up in your underwear

I'm gonna miss just being a part of your life

I'm gonna miss loving you

I am gonna miss sleeping naked on your twin sized bed

I am gonna miss drinking on your couch

Until we sit there

Too ****** up to move

Kissing those *** flavored lips

I wish I didn't miss you
Or how you were ticklish
Or how you wrote notes and left them on my car
I miss drinking black coffee at Allens diner
Walking down the beach
Just holding your hand was enough for me
But you insisted we rent a hotel room on the river of lights
Sleeping again on white sheets with you
The window thrown open
And all of the moonlight coming in

They had a feast in your honor
I decided not to go

I decided to walk the great gardens
Balancing on the high stone walls

Jumping here or there
Listening to birds sing

Sun up
I was nobody in particular

Getting lost in the buisness of things

I could have been a beetle walking on a leaf

I could have been a fox
Watching you from the quiet of a hedge

So when I lay down on that green grass
Everything so altogether warm

I didn't think about you
or me
or your monologues

I thought of a hand full of bees

Pulling at my body like pollen
Spreading me out over the life

The pond full of hungry coy
Hyacinth

A silent crane watching me

I would swim in this pond
But I am satisfied to loom above my reflection

Seeing myself reflected on the background of heaven

I saw Alischa
Big pregnant belly
Goin on her second baby

I saw her filling up her cart
with pampers and noodles
she was a kid once with me
we kissed when no one was looking
Sneaking into her house

But now she has a baby
And she is bulging again
I still remember
Her lip gloss pink and soft
The way her skin looked
Through the window
Laughing on the street
our fist shakey-handed attempts at
Love

-My grandma used to say
You can take the girl out of the trailer park......

Crack of burning wood
Dark looming forest sleep
-Cold hands about my neck

Just

the

Wind

Of


Your

Voice

From

When

You

Say

My


Name


Could


Make

Me


Float

Away

But

That's okay


It's all okay

I caught the moon at half mast tonight
Her helm swayed silently in the breeze
I grabbed at the handles
Turning the rudder due north

I rode into the black sky of night
Letting the wind billow the sails
The snap clap of loosened white fabric
As it taps on the mast

I emptied my pockets
Full of Marlboros and thirsting syringes
Tossing those weights off the starboard side
Where I'm going I don't need short-lived  highs

*I cast off those weights
And let them fall down to earth
As I  whistled a hymn
That I heard as a boy
Floating up and up
Without a care
The night was my lover
The smell of her hair-

Out in the empty
I heard angels softly singing
Their words swaying slow
Into the ******* nothing
I am a brother to stars
A bringer of life
A listener of melodies
Lost in the sky

Out here in the wonderland
Between heaven and earth
The angels were calling
Without speaking words
And I knew without asking
I could go anywhere
Touch the face of planets
Unseen by human eyes
I could take my ship Luna
Through dying nebulae
those
clouds lost in space


I could stay here forever

In this nowhere I've found
But the gleam of your eyes
Haunted me from the ground
I knew you didn't want me
Or care if I left
But I wanted to be there in case
We had some time left
when your talking about life
Even a moment is enough

So I looked at the angels
Shining all in their glory
To the echo of space I asked
"But what if she wants me?"

So I turned the main sails
Away from the wind
To earth I was going
To the home where I lived

The rush of the breeze
The groan of the ship
As we settled back down
On this terrestrial strip

My feet touched the grass
You were nowhere to be found
So I just picked up my cigarettes
And sharps off the ground

It must have been sometime around four
I'm usually wide awake to see the morning
Sun
As it's orange beams poke holes in the weak
Gray clouds
Last night sleep came to me quietly before
I had a chance to fight her

It must have been some time around 4
I started to dream about you
You had soft white skin
Naked shoulders glowing beneath your front porch lights
You had an infectious smile
Straight little teeth
Bright red lips
You silently led me into your house
The lights on in every room
Ceiling fans spinning in hypnotic twists
Cooled my skin
You made breakfast in a frying pan
But neither of us ate
You showed me a sword that your ex gave you
A japenese officer sword
Dull and gray under artificial light
Pointing out the symbols etched into the hilt
You fell asleep on your couch
Your beautiful hair
Framing your face
I felt wired
Sitting there
Cross legged on the floor next to your couch
When you must have awoken for a moment
From your own dreams
And asked if I would hold your hand
I said I would
As our fingers wrapped together
Like two spiders
Squeezing softly in the silence
The darkness outside was perfect
Your breathing next to me was perfect
The sound of lungs absorbing
In perfect rythm
The kiss of each blood cell
Oxygen red
I lay on the wooden floor next to the couch
Holding your hand
Matching the speed of your inhales and exhales
Until I fell back to sleep
In the perfect dream

You are my back up
Stick to the plan
No matter what
You are Wendy
and I'm Peter Pan
After I throw myself from the fifth story window
Of some ***** apartment in China town
Wait for the cops and tell them who I am
Tell them that I was trying to go home
To never never land
But I ran out of happy thoughts
Before I took to the air
And when they pull up my sleeves
Pointing at my track marks with a ball point pen
you tell them that was from shooting fairy dust
Straight to my brain
when they ask about my wallet
Any cash or car keys
Tell them their with captain Hook
he stole em' from me
When they ask where I am from
Say I'm a lost boy
And that's all
no mom and dad or sisters
Only John, Micheal, and teddy
Tell them I was best friends with the Indians
and the beautiful mermaids
And when they ask who you are
You're Wendy Darling
The girl who told stories
And kept my head full of dreams

Creek
I call it a crick
when I was ten- no eleven

Maybe ten and a half

My dad worked as a mechanic....like I do now

I remeber he came home one day and kicked off his ***** workboots by the front door
His hands were always dirtier than a *******

He always had grease and dirt under his nails when he got home
and would run them under hot water and glo-jo like I do now

Them hands were COVERED in scars
....mine aren't that scarred yet
and I'm hoping they never will be

I got out of this town once and made it half way around the ******* planet

But I came back when aunt mary-lou died
the only thing I remember from that funeral
....the girl across from me was wearing a red thong
her name was Megan (I had a dog with that name once)
She was aunt mary-lou's friends **** *** stepdaughter

She had that look like
"I am way too good for this trailer park *******"
And I smiled and thought
"I know you are"

Well my dad came home
To find out that I had broken the bb gun he got when he was fourteen

And instead of yellin' at me
or beatin' me
he told me to go get him a beer
and he let me have a sip

I thought he was gonna tear me up and down like a red headed step-child
Or put his cigarette out on my palm

But he didn't
He just sat there
and still to this day I wonder why I didn't get the usual


Truth is:
when I came back from getting his beer on that fateful day
I thought I might have seen my dad wiping a tear from his cheek

Its not always so great to live alone
I wish I could be with you
Just talk and share a bowl of cereal
Refrigerator magnets
Pictures on your wall

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to come home
and sit alone

I bet even t.v would be better with you

I bet things wouldn't be so dull
If I heard just a moment of your laughter
Echoing off the walls

Lights would shine brighter
Even the lightbulbs would glow like el sol

Make dinner
Listen to music

I would turn down the t.v
So I could better hear you singing in the shower
I wouldn't mind vacuming
If your feet walked my floor
I would sit like a child
Underneath the lights on the vanity
As you brush your red hair
And make jokes about whatever we want

But you aren't here and you never will be

So instead "Ill get smashed on southern comfort"

I'm tired
rundown
this poem isn't worth the paper it was printed on
I don't care if you like it
I don't
ill read it tommorow when I wake up
Sober again
**** that was so stupid
I cant believe I wrote that
it was so stupid how some lines were written out really really long and others are just one
word
Im tired of having cottonmouth
And walking around with bullets under my skin
Scratch my tattooed skin with your ***** black fingernails
I will only wake up
go to work
come home
And get drunk again
Then we can all get drunk and high together on the weekend
I have a serious problem
With shooting into crowds of innocent people
Or keeping my mouth shut when I know better
I would rather lie here and listen to the rain fall on the roof
than think at all
Im burning out already
picking through layers of *******
reading book after book
Written by people who have wondered the same thing I do
Who the **** am I? What am I doing here?

The evening-tide left footprints on the western sky
In that moment of splendor
I tossed the meaning of time back and forth
Until I grew tired
The streetlights clicked on and began to buzz
(My toys lie broken in the glow)
I rub my eyes
Bartering for sleep
Mother calls from the front door

Wide the door was thrown
To the breeze and yellow sun
Bird-on-his-song-glides

Ask me fiery one How I would This moment leave my home behind And walk on bare feet to you It would be nothing to me To cut my heels in your honour I would find you I am sure Watching the sun awaken As you gaze from some unnamed plateau Ask me how quickly I would build you ship Cutting timbers asunder Laying out each piece Tying and hoisting I would put you on your ship Her name being Sunrise Ask me how I will blow into your sails Longer than any tradewind I would take you to Asia And show you the color of life And the song of silence Whisper in your ears The secrets of the east We could gaze at tall spires in the bitter north I would wrestle the Russian Bear And he will gladly give his coat I will fight tooth and nail with wolverines So you can see my blood and fear Soon we will rest in the Mediterranean Drinking heady wine on the warm grass Running barefooted through years of vineyards We can climb the peaks in Greece If you only ask me fiery one I will cast down the Olympian host We can bathe in the city lights of Paris you and I We can haunt the streets in London if you wish We can go anywhere you ask Just tell me where to take you first

Let's stand around and talk about taxes and crime
Or watch it on t.v
Cool people only getting cooler
As alcohol leaks

I think I remeber leaving a party with you and falling asleep
on a dew covered hill

But I woke up in my bed

The shirt you had warn
Was pink and white through the haze
Remebering your face
But I still couldn't think your name
...I remember that you said you liked only
The old starwars
And your favorite Zelda
Ocorina of time
You got high with me and watched adventure time
And talked to me about the effects of ether on the human mind
You liked ska and doc martens
With only black laces
Japanese tea pots
BC ***
Black Jack Davey
Tattooed on your neck
You told me you were fourteen
When you last wore black lipstick.
"Far out"  
Yellow Submarine
Mushroom picker
The
Tingling of your spine
As it creeps up your neck
I was about to fall away to oblivion
Until I saw your smiling teeth




I got all the way to work without noticing
Jen
And your number on my wrist

A bag of skittles would make you God

As I looked into the moon
A smoke ring round his face

I want to float into the sky
And leave this stupid place

Id looked for somewhere not pronounced
in the mind of space

If you could talk to all the stars
You'd know what silent means

We make our own hell
Trying to sleep
I can hear the click click of demon claws
Terror
Seeing death moments away
Darkness begins to sway in
Hearing the whisper of beautiful maidens
As they entice me to the mouth of hell
The lick of crusted sulfur
Bellowing halls of flesh-scent smoke
The hollow of darkness
The squeeze of far off screams
I feel Baal wrap his claws about my ankle
The talons digging into my flesh
Like a dog I drool and scream-
Begging for respite
I was born and died a fighter
My naked feet kicking out at the face of embers
Searing my back against an obsidian boulder
My feet find weight against the razor sharp stones
I climb away from death
Crying out when her whip of flame
Opens up my back
The choking is all I know
The crying
The sorrow

I bolt upright in my bed
Covered in cold sweat
My sheets holding me tightly in the black
And I swear although I am all alone
I can hear my family down the hall laughing and talking

It was a private
"Christian" High School
I was fed a lot of bull
But I never let it get me down
I had afternoons with you

Remember math class, Anna?
Remember my fingers drifting up your skirt
Slipping on and off
Pressing on your favorite pressure point

I remember how when the teacher turned
You would whisper so wet and heavy in my ear
"Give me your jacket"
Pressing the heel of your white palm
Into my begging human lust
Sometimes
When it's dark outside and I am all alone
I might allow my mind to wander back to afternoon
Study dates with you

Pulling at your stockings with inhuman ferver
The woman-soaked groan in my ear
The tingling of your glow soaking into my boyhood
The slip of your breath
Brought me to the edge of finite pleasure
The bite of your teeth on my bottom lip
Before you make me quiver with your
Red
Velvet
Tongue
Your  mom pulled up in the drive way
I dashed
dressed
And got one more kiss
(Smothered in the taste of your sea)
"Don't forget your jacket"
I jumped the fence and began a steady pace to home
A long long way away
Imagine my surprise as I lit a ciggarette
And found in my jacket pocket: your *******

I have been hard-pressed for words
An adverb modifiying a verb
So I threw in a
Hyphen
For good measure
In bad taste

Work was hard
And my bones ached
They said
"Come to dinner with us down off the highway"
Seems fine to me






Wait
Stop
Pause
Hold on a minute-
Tick Tick Tick Tick

"Where did y'all say we were goin'?"

"Deenos"

All could think was **** **** ****
I know you work on Saturday nights
I looked down at my watch

And I knew right then
Tock Tock Tock
I would be seeing you again

The car ride seemed gigantic
All tires wheels highway
Saftey glass peppered the cross lights
From an accident the other day

Broken bottles poking in the grass
Dirt road and trees
I was looking but not seeing all of that

The parking was almost empty
...if it had not been for your car
I remember when I replaced the radiator in that thing
I remember how it had'nt felt like work
Fixing your car under a blazing sun

But you just hugged me and said thank you
Well at least I got the hug

Its been a little bit since then
I rember as I washed the grease from my hands
I wanted to wash off your hug

Touchdown
You put me in the Friendzone
You would probably laugh at me
For thinking I was the only one

I rember how I followed the boys into Deenos
I felt like a zombie
A prisioner led to the block

and just
My
******* luck
you look up
and smile the biggest smile I have ever seen

You seemed to talk so fast
I tried to keep up
Listening intently for single syllable words
My mind might comprehend
And your soft gentle palms
And a desk fan
blowing a strand of your hair
I felt like I was at the fair
Riding the FIREBALL
You talked in your embarrassed voice
And your soft pink lips
Smiled a song right through me

So we sit down
Eat
Well I pretended to eat
Whenever I wasn't trying to chance a peak at you

The guys were getting drunk
Because your uncle Oscar came out and was giving us
free beers
soon he locked the door
and pulled out a deck of cards
I pretended to play
When I wasn't busy, looking at you
And uncle Oscar brought out clear Russian
Liquor and in between jokes and shots
I pretended not to notice you
Being beautiful as you counted down the till

I had to pretend to ****
It was just an excuse to talk to you
"Hey, I'm about to have my break in a minute meet me outside"
I walked to the bathroom
Staring at myself in mirror
My heart tick tocks tick tocks
Shaking my head at this stupid shirt



Outside you were sitting cross-legged leaning your back against the wall
Nursing a coffin nail
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to tell you
I wanted to write some story
Where me and you talk all night


Sitting only a subtle reach away
I sat and smoked and watched you talk
Under the 75watt lamp

I cannot understand
Why in the wake of the moon
All the world is sadness
Morning light purges me
Just so she can get her kicks

The crescent night
Under whose cover
We drank our fire


Hidden from the gods
Hidden from the eyes

Sometimes
I wish I was all by myself
Staring out from an empty
Beautiful field
I just want to see God
Bend down and blow out the sun
Then I would lie down in the ice
And spin through the eternal darkness
Sometimes
I wish I was all alone

I have just ****** it all up with you haven't I
Someone please stop me before I burn every bridge
leading to your gentle heart
I deserve to be lost
and never found
Blinded
so that I may never see
Yet I wonder
If I would crawl after you in the darkness
Yelling out your name
I see my mistakes with you in slow motion
the truth serum takes hold after so many shots
But
whether / am in slow motion or not
I would tell you my deepest longings
I am so backwards on this planet
While others throw rocks to hurt
I kiss wounds
and tell you
It is all ok
I am sorry that I seem a demon
But I am only a boy
With a boy's honest heart
I wish I could hear your voice
or feel your hand in mine

Alcohol
Take me
I need not worry or fret
Your hands are always safe and warm
I have been ravaged and broken before
"But suddenly I turned around and saw her standing there with silver bracelets on her wrist and flowers in her hair. Come in she said ill give yah shelter from the storm"

Homefield advantage
When we were together
I took you to all of my favorite spots

They became our favorote spots

Then as summer burned

Straight yellow afternoon suns

Began to fade

Until night was quick

And mornings only came after long
Hours of television
And burnt coffee
Until I realized that
"Stepping headlong  into oblivion is the only way to burn the past
From your skin"

I went to our favorite spot on the beach
Where we had our first date first kiss first and third and fifth anniversaries
Not to mention random nights we exhausted young lust right on this spot
I think I asked you to marry me here
Oddly enough I remember you said yes

It hurt so bad to come back right to the heart of things
I could feel the heartbeat on the sand
The pulse of the ocean on my skin
The drift of the sea breeze
I closed my eyes and listened to the call of gulls
As night fell
Ten bottles of red stripe
I only needed six
My dads most expensive bottle of gin
And two marijuana cigarettes

I remember
Screaming at the moon
And running headlong into the black sea

I rembember the sand
Scraping my skin
Stealing my cells
Pushing them softly out to sea

I woke up alone
Lying in the sand
A dog licking my face

My eyes hurt into my head
My mouth was frozen
Swelling and thickening next to the sea

I read the dogs collar
His name was Biscuit
And a telephone number
My phone was in the car
As dead as a doornail

So I walked barefoot and asphalt
To the jetty
and found a payphone

It rang once
And she answered


Ten minutes later me and Biscuit were on your doorstep

"You look like you could use some coffee"
"You look like a towheaded red lipped angel of light"
You think it would have been strange
To let a ***** stranger like me in but I think you understood when I said
I had stepped headlong into oblivion to burn the past from my skin






from your. Skin

Downtown
There's
This
Pizza
Place

They
Have
Red
Checkered
Table
­Cloths

But
More
Importantly

They
Have
A
Waitress
Named
Jen
But she tells her friends to call her Ginger
I
Get
To
Call
Her
Ginger
But
I
Don't
Get
To
Call
Her
Phone
I
want
To
A­sk
for
The
digits
Because her eyes are so boss
Because her lips make me think of red converse--red red red - popsicle melting in the sun
Her grape flavoured bubblegum laugh
Makes butterflies sing inside me


Bueno

Son, do you know why I pulled you over
Because I noticed that your lungs collapsed
And you were choking begging pleading for
one single breath
So enjoy the air while you got it...
Go ahead take a moment
For a good deep breath
Feel that clean country air just tickling your insides

Son, do you know why I pulled you outta class?
Cause your bein a *****
Every time we try to bring up a good topic
you start crying
******, *******, mutation, abortion, cloning, ******, violence, masochism
Stop bein a ***** boy, everybodies daddy gets drunk and beats them at night

Son, you know why I'm not letting into heaven?
Because you are a pretentious selfish ****

Oh my God
Have you ever felt this?
Man, its great
You become one with viscus
And his holy ember
watch the poppy smoke curl
Into 3 dragons
blowing smoke into the
in
finite
bed time
I can see your magezine
left upon your side table
but it is boring to me
speaking to me without sound
I can hear muffled echoes
in some alluring ancient tongue
Riddle me this
sweet Adeline
why have they gone and put the roof
where your feet should be walking
why do you have a slipknot Cd?
Why do you have empty pill bottles on the floor?
Why are your posters coming to life

And pestering me for the time of
Roger I will get you as a tattoo on my fore arm
if it is the last thing I do
I was gonna get that poem of Helen's done too
In perfect script
oh Helen your words are so beautiful

I want to mold them to.my spirit
I want to.wrap them upon my arms
and sell them to.the poor and blind
The fuzziness is returning now
Telling me to go the **** to sleep
and if I never wake up again....
I want you to know that I love you
I love you I love you
I love