so everything is not supposed to be
just like everything is
i like the way it makes me think
that some things are here to stay

when oblivion is fearless
and when betrayal  is powerful
i wonder if you will come close
for just another day

some days i think not
everything around is numb
but when light pours through
the empty holes of my soul
i know that you might

I can't remember a thing but the others pressuring glances,
our lips meeting,
tangled tongues
and my frightened mind when you touched mine

Is this really what it is?

Why are we all so sad?
Smiles used to grace our faces
as easily as we breathe air

but now it seems as though even that is hard.

Everyone is...
broken.

This world wears you down
the darkness blankets us
it creeps in
dimming our light

Smiles are rare stars

Admire their beauty

Try
Try
Try
To add to the night sky
With a smile of your own

We can form a constellation.

My heart becomes astray,

Every day,

She becomes further away.

I miss the way you hold me, and when you whisper in my ear.
I miss the way you kiss me, and chase away my fears.
I miss your deep blue eyes, how they gaze into my soul.
I miss seeing you from day to day,
And darling its taking its toll...

I wish you missed me like I miss you.
I wish you still regarded me as the sun to your earth;
light to your life.
I hope that one day you'll wake up and see
that what you've been missing all along is me.

I miss you
You're not missing me
I missed you before you left
You may have missed me for a day or two
I miss they way we'd ride around in your car and stare at the stars
I miss how you used to hold the door open for me
I miss how whenever we sat down no matter who was in the room, you sat so close to me when your arm around me tight
I miss the way it felt to lay on your chest at night
I miss the way we laughed when we woke up to the other one just staring waiting
I miss the way you used to look into my eyes and the whole world disappeared
I miss when you wanted me around all the time
I miss when no one could make me doubt you
I miss the way we used to sit on the couch in "our" house and watch movies , with the puppy curled up besides us
I miss meeting you at work on your lunch breaks
I miss knowing I was the only one who made you smile
I miss being the only one you called "mine"
I miss the days when I trusted you weren't texting someone else
I miss when I trusted you with my life
I miss that sparkle in your eye
I miss how you face lite up when you saw me and we'd both be awkward for a moment or two
I miss that my acceptance used to be enough
I miss that I used to be enough
I miss how you used to hold me and wipe my eyes when I cried
I miss that I missed the moment things began changing
I miss that instead of asking less questions, I just tried to get you to look at me how you used to
I miss the fact that I never knew how serious our problems were
I miss the way I could talk to you like no one else
I miss the day before it all came to head

I don't miss listening to you telling me goodbye and standing emotionlessly
I don't miss how unaffected you seemed by my tears
I don't miss frantically trying to get a hold of you and you ignoring me the whole time
I don't miss you're excuses
I don't miss watching you lie right to my face
I don't miss that you just thought another guy would erase you from my heart
I don't miss how you're such a hypocrite and in the same sentence would beg me to stay in your life
I don't miss all the random moments I burst into tears simply because you weren't there
I don't miss every night I knew you were with her
I don't miss how when the sun came up the next day, you were at my door again
I don't miss how I always let you in, and how I clung to every moment with you
I don't miss the involuteery see saw ride you put me on while you tried to make up your mind
I don't miss all those hours I prayed you'd come back to me
I don't miss how when I would snap and tell you to "*******"
I'd cave the second you text my phone

I miss the vacations we took together
I don't miss the way you seemed to have just forgotten
I miss how you were always getting mad at me for letting people walk all over me
I don't miss how you became one of them
I miss how every time you came around, no other guy could touch me or how you'd put your legs across me to mark your territory
I don't miss how when I did that, you still saw her
I miss when I thought you were so different than every other guy
I don't miss realizing you weren't
I miss how hard it was for you to tell me goodbye and that you had tears in your eyes too
I don't miss that just because she had more money she got to be the one to come visit you
I miss the phone calls every week
I don't miss when she moved in and they stopped
I miss how I never saw this coming
I don't miss that in your mind I'll always be here waiting

I miss you

Promises

I made a promise once
If you can win a promise
I won
This promise broke my heart
Shattered it
It's in my body in shards
Floating around
I move slightly
It pierces my organs
Unforgivingly

This promise will be the death of me
And I can't wait
I'm looking forward to it

This promise was our love breaking
My knowing
We wouldn't make it
I won this promise
And I'm loving the pain of it.