Ahab was searching for a reason to live
Ahab was searching for his big win.

Ahab was searching and boy did he find
That finding is bad and now nothing is fine.

I hope so
I really do.*

I do too.

Difficulties exist in my abilities to say no.
I do say no,
But not without effort.

I have a lack of restraint.
I am selfish.
I want affection.
I want lips.
And arms.
And eyes.

I want love,
I want lust,
I want want.

I want so many things.
I want the pieces missing from my soul
When she left me.

Why do I let you ruin my mind,
Is it because I love you so,
Or is there some reason to find,
Why I let myself go so low.

I feel my words bounce off of you
Going nowhere, the void of space.
Why is there no response from you?
More time is what I need. More days.

It always catches me off guard.
That first strum in the saddest song I've ever heard.
The first song she played for me.
The anthem of our time together.

Sometimes I wish you didn't sing it for me,
Cause now I'm hooked on a new kind of melancholy.

You can hear his heart break when he finishes the stanzas.
You can hear the pent up tears,
And the dried ones.
You can hear that those are the memories he's trying so hard to forget,
But they mean everything to him.

He's hoping that time goes on after she's gone,
And hoping that he won't give into old habits.

He's hoping he's okay.

I check for hours to see if you responded.

I really miss you, Bella.
I wish you hadn't left.
You taught me to be proud,
that who I am is my own best.

You said we all live
Under the same moon.
Those we vowed to never see,
We would see more than soon.

You taught me kissing's fun
And ******* great
And *** doesn't mean
That you are bound by fate.

You said so many things,
Signed one golden thought,
Packed up with your family
And went to where you sought.

I miss you Bella.