Broken words, broken hearts
Bones shatter like glass
Blood is spilled on paper
All it does is tell us who you are
Or what they have done to you.

The knife in your hand writes a story
All over your skin.
If we look closely, it answers questions
Questions link your past together.

What was your father like?
When did your friend die?
Did your uncle touch you?

Your answer to every question is
"I don't remember"
"It's not important."
"I don't know."

If we looked closely enough,
We would see the truth.
We would see that
Your yearning for control
Is seeping through your sweat soaked pores
Is secreted from the dry blood on your wrists
Is flooding from your tear stained eyes.

This is all you have
And you pray to God it's enough
To keep you alive.

I wish I could break
Shatter into a million pieces
Of sharded glass, waiting to be stepped on.
Causing you to bleed wouldn't hurt me
Because I would already be broken.

This universe doesn't give a ****
Whether we're moving
Or camping out on life's sidelines.
The doers, in the end
Meet the same fate as the dreamers.

I want you to break me.
Work me until I fall apart
Until I can't take it anymore.
At least then
I will overdose on my need for perfection
Before I die of it.
You can take my needle from me
Before my heart stops beating.
Before it turns my blue vein black.

Then maybe I can stop craving
Everything that hopes to **** me off.

I'll hold you in my heart
Until I can hold you in my arms
I'll cling to every word you say
And wish you weren't so far away

I'll kiss you softly whenever I can
Because I don't know when I will again
And who cares what the world thinks of us
When I think the world of you

So yes, perhaps distance is a drag
And yes, people can be too
But love of mine please give it some time
Because in time I'll be with you

you always said I lived right beneath your collar bone
straight above your heart,
not in it but over it
I was only the supporting weight of one of your shoulders  
I think I forgot to tell you that you were both of mine
but I also feel you missing right at the center of myself
I let you take up too much space

Maybe you replaced me by now
you're whispering your secrets to some other girl
or boy
at any rate someone who isn't me
or maybe you just put in a slab of iron in
I wouldn't blame you
it would be much easier to deal with than I am

is it even socially acceptable to cry in the shower over someone who hasn't contacted you in three weeks?
Is that okay?
I think I'll do it anyway
The worst endings are the slow ones
that drag out for weeks or months or years
the ones that leave you wondering how one person can leave your life without a trace
I would do anything to breathe the dust of your skin again
you didn't even leave me that much

I miss you
the way that you feel deep within yourself
I told you that once
I don't remember what you said
but it wasn't what I wanted to hear

I love you
and not the kind you think
the kind that makes me smile at your voice
and the kind that makes me feel safe in your presence
the kind that makes me want to sit next to you in silence and listen to you breathe
I love you as a human
and don't get me wrong
kissing you was great
but I would take it all back
just to have you here
not with me
but next to me

It gets heavy all alone