Sometimes I feel like I lack so much passion
Is that me or the depression
I can't seem to form thoughts that let people in
I want love but I seem to fall too deep into it
And I talk a lot but no one is really listening

I scribble out the words
Like I forget everything that hurts
Are you sure I'm not asleep
Are you sure this is happening

Why am I crying
Why did it hurt that she never saw me
There is so much suppressed noise that I'm completely silent
If you can't handle me when I'm wordless
Don't expect yourself to make it hurt less
If you could hear my thoughts you'd understand that I'm complex
And they're endless

But what's the use
I'm used to being abused by the pain I can't seem to lose
Don't speak for me
I might be slow to draw
But don't think for me
My trigger finger is quick to take me out of my misery
Thank God for cold feet

Thank God I'm terrible at endings

I've ran from myself for far too long
I'm all caught up
To see where I am now
I have to look back at where I began
The sky is mixed with colors because I can finally see
My hands are right in front of me
Lead me to the promise land
Let me bathe under the sun
The only thing I want to feel is the rain and how it runs
There's no need for fear or doubt
Let the stars guide me home
The only thing I've ever had
The only thing I know
I've learned to breathe more deeply
I've learned to take it in
And knowing I'm only 24
I've learned to live again

I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed
For you to come and save the day
My sun was gone
My skies were gray
But then you left and went away
So I prayed
And I prayed for you that night
I gave everything so you could shine
So please stay away
I can't breathe when you're around
Leave it at bay
I'm trying to stay above the ground
So I prayed
Then you burnt me with that cigarette
So I caved
Now I'm here with these regrets
And now I don't pray
Cause you took all the faith in me
Now I pay
Every night when I can't sleep
Pray for me

I am a wave
Searching for the shore
Is it a place or a soul
I do not know
I will crash and then reform
Because I can always grow
I am a wave
Searching for a home

I am stuck in my own transgressions
One more hit straight to my head

I can't sleep so I'm always lonely
Thoughts at night are the ones who hold me

And there are so many people but none of them are you
I see evil around me but you are always good

So tell me everything you can't say
And I'm climing towards better days
Cause sometimes it's hard but only the start
Escape your fears
Run with your heart
Get back to who you are

I don't float so I'm always sinking
One more night that I drawn in my drinking

I'm still a mess with some different baggage
Unstable but I always manage

And I have so many habits I don't know what to choose
And I have so much damage I don't know what to do

Why do I contemplate suicide
When everyone around me dies
Then will I realize

The hardest thoughts keep me trapped in the dark
The only thing that keeps me going is when I light up a spark
Drown in the art
The thing about living is you gotta be who you are
But in my mind I think it will never change
And in my eyes it's the darkest of days
You're right next to me
It got the best of me
Giving up all of my needs
But honestly I know that it's just who I am
And in the long run it's about where I land
But I can't even stand
Where's the line
I don't want to be who I am
I hate the drip
But I'm killing for tips
I don't want a life that's filled with that kind of risk
But what if it hit
What if it ripped
What if I left it all behind because I don't want to live
But sometimes I do want to live
It's like a drift
Moving and swaying
If I can't figure it out is it worth staying
But I think about the pain
The constant rain
If I had no more days

I don't even know how that all came out