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Jackie Nov 2015
I believe in love
I believe in second chances
I believe in people
And God

I believe in sunsets on cold nights and walks along the coast
I believe in giving back
I believe in hope
And wisdom

I believe in spaghetti on Christmas
I believe in Taco Tuesday
I believe in grilled cheese when I'm intoxicated
And playing ultimate frisbee even though it's given me two concussions

I believe in soulmates
I believe in true love
I believe in love at first sight
And a broken heart being the worst pain imaginable

I believe in you
I believe in me
I believe in our ability to create a better understanding of each other
And sarcastic conversations over the phone

I believe in everything I've experienced
I believe in pain
I believe in frustration
But more importantly I believe in the potential to define all odds

And to fly even when the world is fighting to keep you grounded
Jackie Nov 2015
You really take me as I am
And that's so beautiful
I can feel your old soul
I can feel your pure heart
You see me
With my lost soul
And damaged heart
And you know who I am
Jackie Oct 2015
I love her in a way that stops my whole body
In a way that captures every ounce of the air I breathe in
I love her in a way that makes me head ache
And my joints tense up
She is everything that could make me happy for the rest of my life
And that scares the hell out of me
Love like that can **** you
But I love her in a way that people remember forever
I love her in a way that overpowers all matter and cosmic power
And I would die for that
Jackie Oct 2015
I feel like a balloon that just lost its air
I'm left expanded with no real purpose
Nothing tying me down
Nothing inside me
I feel like an almost completed puzzle
If I just had a few more pieces I could be whole
But I'm missing just enough to not know what I'm looking at
Feeling like people can see that I'm not really all there
I feel like an empty can left on the street
Being kicked around with no sense of stability
At any moment something could come along and crush me
At any moment the walls could cave in
I feel as if my identity has left my body
Everything that makes me who I am has vanished
No one understands it
I feel like a magician who doesn't even know the result of my trick
I made myself disappear
Everyone is left confused
And I don't even know where I ended up
Jackie Oct 2015
You take me in strides
I take you like doses of medicine
I make my past irrelevant
And you don't even bring your past along
Love breaks through the loneliness like cracks on a sidewalk
And I can see the grass grow
I form sentences in my head but never say them out loud
Obedience can be a disease
Suppression can **** the mind
Two wrongs don't make a right
But if you get lost you better ask for directions
Why do you have to do that thing with your eyes
Deflect
Deflect
Deflect
I can't see you in that way
The way the birds see the sky
And the way landscape sees an open horizon
I start to drink coffee even though it makes my heart race
Hands are meant to be sturdy
If you build a house you want sturdy hands
And you make my hands shake
The cracks in the sidewalk remind me that this earth is always moving
Shifting off kilter
Breaking down even the strongest matter
Heartbreak is like cracks on a sidewalk
But you are the grass that grows in between the cracks
And I can't even tell you how much I appreciate that
Jackie Oct 2015
Never date a writer
Those ******* will remember everything
Like the way your eyes looked on your first date
Or how you wore your hair
They will store every bit of you in their memory
Like how you like your coffee
Or what kind of soup to buy when you're sick
And when something happens, you know you will become their next piece of writing
They will recall every word said
They will talk about how you lit up in the beginning only resulting in a burnt out match
Your story will become fuel
Your time spent will become hours of trying to capture every ounce of your beauty
Trying to hit every mark of how your face looked when you first heard that she loved you
Never date a writer
Because they will take everything in like vital knowledge
Collecting parts of you like old coins
Putting together the puzzle that will result in their most painful poem
Your story will last forever
You will see the shifts and turning points
From when love was so brand new and shiny
All leading up to the blowout
And there is nothing you can do to stop it
Because you decided to date a writer
So prepare yourself to become their most prized work
Jackie Oct 2015
I'm not quite sure where I stand with my emotions
Or where I just stand
If you look straight at me you will see that I am whole
But if you stand off to the side you will see that I am paper thin
Hoping that the wind doesn't blow too hard otherwise it will carry me away
I'm not quite sure why pain needs to be felt
Or why I feel so much of it
I just know that when I came to you drunk and uneasy you looked at me and somehow kept me together
I want to go to you but that would mean releasing my demons and they aren't properly trained yet
I'm not quite sure why I put the knife to my arm this time
Or why I didn't call you
I just know that my own expectations and seeing Kai's mom put me into a state that kills me from the outside in
So I started with my skin
I'm not sure why I fail to stay clean
I just know that life has to be more than this
And if I can't recognize that, I will continue to fall
I stayed for Kai
Now that she is gone
I have to learn to stay for myself
I'm not quite sure why I'm still here
Or why I haven't left yet
But I'm going to find out
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