everybody shaves
so Warren Buffet invests in Gillette;
and every country drinks
so he also buys Coke shares -
which leads me to my own investment strategy

Every human sheds forty thousand
skin cells an hour
That’s forty thousand cells times 7 billion humans
each hour–
you listening? -
now that’s a lot of dust;
and not to forget the many cultures and nations
that cremate rather than bury
and that releases from each body in the barbecue
1.6 trillion cells of dust -
it’s a ****** dusty world, isn’t it?
so…I’ve got it all worked out…
*I’m investing in vacuum cleaners…

1
“My grandma, she takes
me too literally,”
says Little Literary Tommy
“At Daylight Saving
I tell her to put her clock forward
and she does so, and her clock falls off her table”

"‘Oh, Little Tommy,’ she says
‘See what you’ve made me do!’
and she lands a knock on my head”

2
“Months later
when Daylight Saving ’s over
I tell her to put her clock backward
and she does so, and she grumbles:
‘Silly boy – now I can’t see the time!’
and lands a knock on my head”

3
“She takes this literal thing too far
does my Literal Granny
that when I had a habit of sleeping late
and never getting up for school
she made me sleep out in her garden of herbs
so that I literally got up on Thyme
- and still I got a knock on my head
cos she’d forgotten why I was there in the first place”


4
But one good thing
(we must observe)
Literal Granny does for
poor Literary Tommy:
she knocks enough sense into his head
to prepare him for the hard knocks of  the Literary Life

1
What my brother-in-law said to me:
Hey, bro…glad to talk to you…
I’m flying in all the way from Canada
in 30 days’ time…yeah, whole family
Wife and the 3 kids
Hey, you ought to get leave for a week –
we’ll stay in your place,
and you can drive us about Victoria…
it’s really my sis and you we want to see…
Yeah, get back to me after you speak
to the people at your workplace


2
What I told my brother-in-law:
I asked my boss,
and he said leave’s not possible…
He needs me to be at work
says he can’t manage without me


What my brother-in-law said back to me:
Oh, we’ll try my wife’s side then
You know, the ones who live in Mauritius
We’d really like to see them…


3
What actually happened
Well, to be honest,
I asked my boss for the week off
and he said:
You’ve let so much work hang for so long
you’d need a whole year to finish
Let me make it plain, you shirker:
This year, you get NO days off

And I shook his hands enthusiastically,
and I said to him:
Thanks, boss – I knew I could always count on you



**...and now I've got my bro-in-law languishing in Canada - and my boss, my colleagues tell me,  feeling perplexed in his office...

For no reason he starts screaming
Then begins to hit you
Shouting for no given purpose
He will begin to bite himself

It is then as nothing happened
He plays with an electronic game
Something then will disrupt him
So begins punching himself in the head

He will not wait his turn
Even when others are already speaking
So starts to bite himself once more
Shouting out threatening behaviour

You can never try to tell him off
It will only make him worse
He believes he is only allowed to shout
He will never understand what you say

The throwing of things will then commence
Showing you outrage and anger
Comes up and shouts in your face
Followed by slapping and hitting you

Then it will all suddenly stop
Begins talking nicely to you
Talking non-stop about his cars
He will then put them all in a line

Come and ask for a cuddle
Not even remember what just happened
For an hour or two he talks politely
You dare not try to change the subject

Never try to break his routine
For he will start swearing at you
Everything will start all over again
Because he will never understand change

He even hates his baby sister
Because he needs all the attention
He has no understanding of sharing
Or how to ever show fair play

He is locked away in his own world
Expects everyone to know what he is thinking
He can not even dress himself
But he has a perfect photographic memory

Others will never come to realise
They will only think the worst of him
They call him names behind his back
All because he is a little different

Autistic children may be a challenge
But remember, they are still children
All they need is understanding
So, will you love him?

copyright Chris Smith 2012
For children with Autism/Asperger's Syndrome

When I was six I lost my dog.
Everybody went crazy looking for her.
Even the people that she had nipped at
and one guy she had chased over a fence.
She's little but she's tough.

After an hour of yelling her name all over the place
I heard my mother call from the bedroom.
I ran in to see Lizzie peak her head out from under the blanket
and let out a little doggie yawn.
Now whenever Lizzie is missing we always check under the blanket first.

under the birches one may sit
under the trees
perhaps on a rock, a stump
in the quiet
in the solitude
in this light
The Japanese umbrella by one’s side
One in one’s best clothes
here may one sit
in one’s time
as if all of life has been a journey
to this single point, to this one place
One on one’s own, having come into the world so
and all relationships and realities coming to this
in the midst of this, one may sit
with the light, and colors and with the earth
and the sky and the water
as if finding one’s place in this life, on this radiant earth
amidst the breathing trees and the creeping moss and lichen
one may come to one’s poise and silence
a moment beyond thought and emotion
one coming into one’s own
a transcending of pain and disquiet
a coming into peace, into stillness and seeing it all
all things, all movement, seeing all as it is

Today I see you standing there, in a bow tie none the less. You greet me with that oh-so famous smile, I can't help but smile back. Were outside of my car looking at each other, no words yet have passed. We know what each others thinking, under faces so close.

                       "If only it was two months sooner."
                    "If we can wait just a few more days."

You and I spend the rest of the day together, right after we finish class. We end up at your dance studio, I watch you like I've never watched before. I join in and we joke for a few, I'm videotaping this magic happen. We leave and drive around, run into a few friends and hang out for a while. Looking at each other thinking, under faces so torn.

                       "If only it was two months sooner."
                     "If we can wait just a few more days."

We end up alone again, driving back to find my car. I follow you to a school, so we can hang out and talk. It's too cold outside so we go sit in your car, staring at each other not knowing what to do. You take your shirt off and I'm rubbing your back, it hurts from all the dancing. I don't know what to do, the tension between us is so thick.  You say your torn and don't know what to do, you have a girlfriend. I agree and say that I as well have a boyfriend, so what should we do now? We know what each other wants, under faces so close.

                               "What should I do?"
                           "What do I want to do?"

I can't hold back anymore, I lean in    with my lips touching your neck. I feel you hold your breath, I still don't know if I should continue. i run my lips down your neck onto your collar bone, I stop and bring my head back. We're looking at each other, with faces so close.

                           "I know what I want."
                            "I know who I want."