Each word
'curls'
around my heart
like smoke shaped, teasing
wispy fingers

I don't see it ..
               or feel it ..

                     but then my heart begins to tell me.

It moans
                and creaks

                             demanding that I listen.

I can't ignore it now
                            as it hurts.

I lay my hand upon my wounded chest
                               telling my heart,
                                            reminding it

   that we cannot feel this way
                                        
                    ­                          not today ..

                                                      not tomorrow.


                 My heart calms ..

                                     for now

        

                           but I know that it won't be for long.

A mother so far
from a mother to me
So much pain caused
by this woman I see

Discouraged from my door
Forbidden in my life
Chunks ripped from my heart
caused by her dullest of knives

Dementia has swallowed her
my anger softened somewhat
How can I hang onto such fury
when she's now a woman,  lost

Our relationship has changed
Now I spend time with her
How can Dementia be a blessing
Isnt it supposed to be a curse?

I have a very romantic idea
of a beautiful gypsy girl
She is not tied down
and free to roam the world

Beautiful dark, curly hair
falling upon her delicate face
Green eyes with iridescent flecks
She's a Nomad, not tied to one place

Beautiful bangles slid upon slender wrists
pretty blouse, skirt, floral and layered
she walks with a certain confidence and grace
of this life she'll never tire

She suits her Bohemian style
the freedom of flowing clothes
A true and natural beauty
everything seamlessly flows

Ancestors date back to the 9th century
it's an unconventional life
A loyal and faithful community
within this security she thrives

A wonderful wagon is her home
drawn by sturdy horses
She's a friendly fortune teller
sensing other worlds and forces

My very romantic idea
of a beautiful gypsy girl
She is not tied down
but free to roam the world

I'm the only person I know
who can destroy everyone
I come into contact with

So don't love me!

With my best intentions
I manage to bring pain
to my friends and come
between them

Don't love me!

With tears of pain
and of sorrow I beg you

Don't love me!

I am unlovable

Don't love me!

I fell in love with him
I fell in love with you
fell in love with words
Why am I such a fool?

I fell in love with his arms
I fell in love with the strength
fell in love with the feeling
but never sure what it meant

I fell in love with reactions
I fell in love with his passion for words
fell in love with a presence
and a gentle sigh I heard

I fell in love with thoughts
I fell in love with given time
fell in love with the ponderings
that wander through my mind

I fell in love with romance
I fell in love with a heart in a whirl
fell in love with imagined caresses
Could you fall in love with this girl?

If I closed my eyes,
drifted into a soft sleep,
would you protect me?

If I faded away into nothingness,
or foolishly left you behind
would you rapidly follow?

If it was just you and me,
just the two of us
would you be lonely?

If I carefully caressed you,
desperately needed you,
would you just take me?

If you had to leave,
disappear and never return
I beg of you to visit my dreams.

You came into my life
When all was lost
There was no moon,
the stars had died
and all around was darkness.

I had lost my heart, my soul
and in the black, lost my way
I couldn't see the road before me
I couldn't go, I couldn't stay


Then out of nowhere right before me
stood an Angel all aglow
Lighting the scary darkened path
and showing me the way to go

The stars came back, Heaven was lit
Behind me the moon began to rise
The path grew brighter and I could see
The Angel had opened my closed eyes

I don't know when that Angel left me
for she left as quickly as she came
but she led me from that forsaken path
and I knew my life would never be the same!