One day you wake up in the middle of Hell
Your daughter is sick; you worry will she get well?
It drastically changes everything you do and say,
Your time to yourself, and the time that you pray

And you beg the Lord for the strength to go on
For you know your daughter needs you to be strong
But how much can you take – you’re not 18 anymore
Your heart deeply aches and your body is sore

You haven't slept well since the whole thing began
It's hard to think straight but you have to make plans
And every day brings more fears and decisions to make
until you worry that surely, pretty soon you will break

Sometimes you dream of what it used to be like
though not that long ago, now it seems a whole life
And somehow you doubt your life will ever be the same
but you'd settle for some rest and some good news again

And you give all your strength and you give all your love
like the heroine you are; like an angel from above
and knowing you, you prob'ly feel you aren't doing enough
but we all admire you and love you so much

And us on the sidelines wonder deep down inside
Could we ever come close to the love you provide
Could we fill your shoes or even stand half as tall
Or would we cave in, overwhelmed by it all

One day you woke up in the middle of Hell
Your daughter was sick; so you were as well
And I truly can’t imagine what you’re going through
I just want it to be over for her and for you


J. H. Webb

May 21, 2000

I would like to start a new religion today
One that has no God to hinder it
One that gives no promise of retribution
One that gives no promise of salvation
One that gives no promise it is right
One that believes we become God
By being as warm hearted and considerate and loving as we can
By achieving a point in history
Where the words "lonely" and "depression"
Have fallen from everyday speech
And people are free to strive to help others
And want to

J. H. Webb

Mar 10, 2019

If the world were perfect I wouldn't exist
Never would have met you or had our first kiss
If the world were perfect you wouldn't be missed
And I wouldn't be alone and crying like this

If the world were perfect then unnoticed you'd go
I wouldn't have seen you. Your love I wouldn't know
If the world were perfect then today wouldn't fit
And the pain wouldn't drag me down this bottomless pit

If the world were perfect - you know where you'd be
And I'd never let go. So you'd never be free
But the world isn't perfect 'cause we're far apart
Don't know if you're alive except in my heart

J. H. Webb

May 31, 2012*
You never stood a chance
You know that don’t you?
I was too frightened
You were the smartest woman I had ever dated
You were more than a match for me
And me?
I was damaged goods

But then you knew that didn’t you
You knew the hell I was going through before we met
And the pain that enveloped my heart
And still somehow you found me worthy of loving
And you tried so hard and I pushed you away so harshly,
So unfairly, so cruelly

You weren’t the one I wanted to hurt

I am so sorry for that – for what I did to you
And I am sorry that I will never see you again
To let you know that

James H. Webb

Oct. 16, 1979 Brantford*


One day beauty leaves
Life’s oceans form around you
Drown you in their waves



What mis’ry hidden
There for no on but to see
Leaks from eyes closed tight



Suffering runs wild
Nothing restrains the virtue
To be found in pain



Your eyes are beautiful
Because they’re deep
I learn from falling in


James H. Webb

I tried to save my youth for you
In the hope one day you’d come
And I tried to keep my vows so true
Though you only managed some

But the love I held and the love I gave
You never kept; you never saved
You put it down; you turned away
You closed the door and you left to stay

And the wedding bells now in the past
No longer ring, though their mem’ries last
For the truth of love is in the length
Not in the depth - nor in the strength

‘Cause a burst of flame is not the same
As the heat a kindled fire contains
Ah but love can be the breeding grounds
Where fears and doubts are tied and bound

Until one day they burst apart
And **** the dreams and flood the heart
And all the tender moments shared
Fade in time ‘til they’re not there

Just a vacancy that’s left behind
In an old man’s heart and an old man’s mind
With a pain that slowly fades to cold
As the winter comes and the night grows old

I tried to save my youth for you
But you waited too **** long
Now all the special moments
That we gathered up are gone


*J. H. Webb

Thursday, August 27, 2009*

Her love sat in the corner. Her dreams sat in her head
Where other people lived a life; she dreamed a life instead
Her fear sometimes went racing, when no one was around
With no one else to see her tears splashing on the ground

And in truth she was an angel who put all others first
But for reasons deep inside and not written on her shirt
And shallow are the many that don’t look into her eyes
To see the pain or joy of life that she solely has survived

While patience knits a sweater for someone else’s kid
And the colours that she stitches in are all the dreams she hid
Oh, it’s quite a pretty rainbow but only from one side
Ah but no one crosses over to where her spirit cries

So run my little darling, though the sunlight of the day
Before the evening shadows and the sun has gone away
Gaze into the sunset of each and every day
And love the every moment that you’re allowed to play

Don’t leave your love in the corner or your dreams in your head
Where other people live a dream; live a life instead
Don’t let you fear go racing, when no one is around
And don’t be afraid to let your tears run splashing on the ground

James H. Webb

June 6, 2014

There's a lot of past history and tears I have cried
Some friends didn't make it and some never tried
There's a lot of remembrance and a lot of regret
There's the things that I did and the things I forget

There's a lot of old friends I know I'll never see
So I can't tell them how much they meant to me
All the moments I could have - I guess I let pass
But life kept on churning and turning so fast

Now there's a lot of past moments frozen in time
Their pictures come racing back to my mind
And the thoughts send me reeling and racing to youth
To what I thought was true and what was the truth

There's a bitter sad moment than I smile again
Like the sun in the morning after darkness and rain
There's a wishing and a hoping where ever you are
That my love can reach you though the distance be far

And join us together through space and through time
Like soul-mates or lovers - like hearts tuned in rhyme
Like people who mattered and played a big part
In the shaping and warming of each others heart

There's a lot of past history and tears I have cried
Some friends didn't make it and some never tried
There's a lot of remembrance and a lot of regret
There's the things that I did and the things to do yet

James H. Webb

March 3, 1990

I've walked a crooked mile for a friend who's life was bent
I've scraped the bottom barrel for what that friendship meant
Don't ask him if he loves you after all his love's been spent!
Don't mention pride and honour to his shivering lament!
His principles are long gone and he don't know where they went

I know there ain't no innocents. I know we can't be friends
I know that I am guilty of loving you 'til the end*

He sacrificed his principles for passions sweet entrails
He stood and watched me throw myself upon this rusty nail
He turned his back and walked away and in doing so he failed
To be the man he thought he was behind the cowards veil
I know friendship is not honour but honour must prevail

I held a candle in the wind that friendship left behind
The wick it broke the wax it froze and shattered into lines
I wrote the lines upon a page to be read aloud the times
I take a friend for granted or forget that love is blind
The page I wrote upon my heart the words I memorized

I pushed a button once or twice and drove a road in vain
I panicked on the boulevard of broken dreams and pain
I lost my baby innocence after drowning in the rain
I ushered in the loneliness that comes with guilt and blame
and I kept it all inside me until this moment came

Jan 25, 2013

Move like the wind
Bend like the willow
But don't lay your head
Alone on the pillow
Dream all you dare
Wish what you will
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still

Life’s in the balance
Death’s at the gate
Sure no one can argue
It’s a delicate state
But you might as well continue
This dance and this drill
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still

So keep an eye on the shoreline
And the light of the day
But don't let the child
In your heart sail away
And don't be afraid of
The other side of the hill
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still

Now the baby is crying
But the old man he smiles
‘Cause he remembers walking
Her mother down the aisle
First it’s flowers in blossom
Then it’s cold winter chills
You're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still

So pack up your troubles
Then put them away
Focus on the good times
Make those feelings stay
Love everything deeply
And get your hearts fill
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still

J. H. Webb

July 7, 2009

Do you ever miss me when the days are full of rain?
Are you sad that the good times we had won't come again?
When you need someone to talk to don't you wish I was around
Just to have some one to listen who would never put you down

Chorus: Well, roses bloom and roses die
People laugh and people cry
And everything that we’ve ever had or that we'll ever know
Will one day be lost like the rain or last year’s snow*

You loved me in the springtime; when we travelled summer roads
Oh but I could never find you once the leaves began to blow
Well I'm sorry if I forced you to be a friend you couldn't be
And I'm sorry if I loved you a little more than you loved me.

Chorus

I would tell you how I've missed you but I don't think you would care
for your heart’s grown hard to open and closeness more than you can bare
Tell me don’t you ever wonder how two close and kindred hearts,
With a lifetime full of friendship, could as you claim, “just drift apart”?

Chorus

Ah now winter's hand is pressing and too soon we'll have to go
and it seems as sad an ending as any heart could ever know
So please tell me do you miss me. You who've looked inside my soul
or has my memory faded and have the years just made you cold



J. H. Webb

May 31, 2012

You never stood a chance
You know that don’t you?
I was too frightened
You were the smartest woman I had ever dated
You were more than a match for me
And me?
I was damaged goods

But then you knew that didn’t you
You knew the hell I was going through before we met
And the pain that enveloped my heart
And still somehow you found me worthy of loving
And you tried so hard and I pushed you away so harshly,
So unfairly, so cruelly

You weren’t the one I wanted to hurt

I am so sorry for that – for what I did to you
And I am sorry that I will never see you again
To let you know that

James H. Webb

Feb 7, 1975*

Yes the room is still in order with the windows dressed in lace
And the bed is in the corner but it’s cold and gone to waste
The stereo’s playing music but the words are in bad taste
And everywhere I care to look your love has left its trace
From poetry and story books to lines upon my face
Its memory builds from empty air and breeds in every space

The room now seems so empty or has it always been this way?
At the time it always seems so real but in the end it's hard to say
Your tears left on the pillow have dried and left a stain
As if the bed is saying where you will not lay again

Your picture has been broken by some fool in his rage
The glass is cracked and shattered but the picture's still the same
It lays there now so boldy with a smile still on its face
Staring up so openly that I can't turn away

The windows too are waiting for you to gently close the drapes
And the dust has falling everywhere like a dry unyielding rain
And in sadness now I must leave this room where sorrows has its reign
And move into another world where death has no domain

James H. Webb

Mar 8, 2009*

Love spent a long time watching
And everywhere it could see
The fools in hatred were fighting
Instead of just letting things be

Love spent a long time listening
To why "we had no time to love"
We voiced our complaints quite loudly
But never raised our hearts above

Love spent a long time waiting
To see if our brains could discern
What only our hearts in compassion
Could always so quickly learn

Love spent a long time praying
We'd learn the wrong of our ways
And enjoy the taste of each sandwich
And each drop of each summer’s rain

Love spent a long time lonely
Until my eyes learned how to see
What they saw when we were just children
And at last my love it flowed free

Love called in joy that I heard it
And we laughed at how silly I'd been
Now my eyes they smile every morning
And I'm thankful for all that I've seen

Then Love moved on to another
And I wished it well on its way
And I hope it reaches you shortly
And you learn how to love day by day

Jan 93*


And patience had taken his anger
from the care of the gentlest of webbs
and placed it full force in the sunlight
where it festered and flew from his head

Tie down me a word of behaviour
who's angles are right to the moon
and fly by that star til the morning
has turned our old sun past the noon

And bright down below shout the warriors
with their solar sheets to the wind
I am the maid of the Marrion (Merry Men)
I am the Robin that hoods
I am the cheek of the devil
I am the tear of the Christ
I am the fool will not listen
I am the shame and the pride

oct 23 2015

Once in the throes of matrimony
Twice in the throws of ***
A woman left me waiting
in a way I still regret.
And love was all around us.
And dancing on our tongues
Were all the kindest kinds of words
that ever could form love.
And I was smitten; yes I was bared
like Adam was to Eve
So let the snake go play his games
but don't hide behind that leaf
That hides your beauty from my hand
so that my hand must grieve.
The moon is hanging from a thread
of the slightest of beliefs
And if you scare away the clouds
well I swear I'll have to leave
And then there will be no one left
of any true degree
could weigh the odds of who you were
and the chance of meeting me
And here we are and there we were
and time has set us free
To wander here beneath the sky
out of touch with harmony


J. H. Webb

Meet me in the world of feelings
Your words have no purpose here
The intellect can never express
as much as a single tear

Meet me in the world of feeling
Let the chaos within you run free

Walk me where your fears are still harboured
Like virgins who have never been touched
and I will help you should you stumble
or your heartache become far too much

Meet me in the world of feeling
My Love, there's no where else to meet

I've never seen anyone
As lonely as you
One look in the mirror
Will tell you it's true
And all I ever wanted
You just took away
You left me for someone
With nothing to say

And there'll come a time
When you'll realize
It wasn't worth it -
You paid too high a price
All the things that you once loved
Have long flown away
And their scent on the wind
Is lost to the day

When we were together
And both of us claimed
We were soul mates forever
And would always remain
But you had a change of heart
Or just a change of mind
Now nothing is left
But your promise that died

And here deep in my bones
This old quiet ache
Reminds me that loving you
Was such a mistake
But I can't just turn it off
Or just put it away
So I have to live with it
Each and every day

Cause I've never met anyone
As lovely as you
One look in my eyes
Would tell you it's true
You're all I ever wanted
But now you're gone away
And you've left me with nothing
And the nothingness stays


J.H. Webb

May 31, 2012*

We had quite an adventure
in our marriage didn’t we,
you and me

… and him

But it ****** near killed me!
You didn’t know that did you.
Though you might have guessed it,
Thought you might have been afraid
I’d “off myself”
and leave you feeling so guilty
that it would throw you off your *** with
you know…
…him
for a day or two

I was seven stories up
on the balcony of our Toronto apartment
and balancing on the edge of the railing
when I realized,
(luckily before a wind came up),
that you weren’t worth it.
and that I was

Yes, we sure had an adventure
didn’t we
like being thrown in a vat of acid
and our eyes stapled open

James H. Webb

Mar 8/93*

I can love you
and it feels like thunder rolling through my veins
I can love you
and my heart starts surging like the ocean waves
I can love you
and I'm lighter than a kite on a breezy day
wind me in and I'm ready to play
I can love you
and the problems of the world seem to fade into
the background of your touch
I can love you
and it feels like my soul has found a safe harbour
to anchor its heart

Sept. 26, 1994

When first she came to me she barely knew her name
“Rosey in the Corner” who’s knight in armour never came
She was holding on to nothing and staring into space
She was lost in no direction and looking for a place
Where she could feel special yet never have to change
Where everything’s familiar yet everything is strange
And who am I to deny I was looking for the same
It’s a strange old world when you’re new to the game

When first she came to me she opened up my eyes
Reflecting the beauty of the wild and gracious skies
We fell off of a mountain into love above the clouds
Cinderella and the young prince – both singing far too loud
Still too young to know better and yet too old to ask why
Caught up in the moment and the height of their flight
And who am I to deny I was looking for the same
It’s a strange old world when you’re new to the game

When first she came to me she was so unaware
Of the hardships of life and the struggles to bare
She was hopes and balloons and ice-cream turtle pies
She was “Boo Boo” and “Darling” and “hold me when I cry”
It’s amazing how time can fan flames or blow them out
It’s amazing how you find out what life is all about
And who am I to deny I was looking for the same
It’s a strange old world when you’re new to the game

J. H. Webb

We used to live in old houses together
And smoke joints by candle light

We were friends.
Good friends
Friends that listened and cared
You introduced me to so much different music
We were closer than any friends
I had ever known

I can’t listen to music now

*J. H. Webb

I was dreaming about Topeka
and the sun was setting down
the night was ablaze with fire flies
you were wearing your age old frown

Many things come to mind
in the quiet of the night
when everyone is sleeping
and the moon is shining bright

Memories fade but emotions stay
and it’s hard to figure out why
I was dreaming about Topeka
And a tear came to my eye

J. H. Webb

2007*

It was silence bled an angel
from the devil of my step
towards the distant future
that I cannot forget
It was laziness unbound me
and held me in its grasp
'til fear of failure found me
and shot me from its path
I dread the bitter moment
I walk the dreaded line
Those of you don't know me
must think that I am blind.


My silence bled an angel
That walked in perfect step
In a pain I still remember
In a dream that haunts me yet

I dress it when I’m shameful
Otherwise it naked flies
Across the span of promises
That time turned into lies.

And now I sing so painfully
That all the birds take wing
And the past is but a memory
That holds me by a string.

James H. Webb

September 17-19, 1988*

A cloud above the ocean
disappoints the evening sky
Her love lost in the shadows
Never leaves her weary eyes

She missed the point
of the sun and wind
and the days at Inksetter's pond

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

A lie can go on dancing
though every tongue be stilled
A little truth at a time like that
can strangulate the will

She can't explain
why the love still remains
and I doubt that she ever will

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

The mist is strong in Hamilton
It's a sad depressing grey
I've driven 'round her part of town
'bout a dozen times today

And with each pass
I have to ask
Why did it have to end this way?

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

I tell myself it's over now
I'm sure she does the same
But it's hard to keep the upper hand
When you don't control the game

She missed the point
of the years gone by
And the vows on our wedding day

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

Dundas, 1973

There are many buildings
that stand without eyes to see them.
Your grandmother must have lived in one.
She was old and love had become
a constant affection on her face.
I had never seen her without a smile.
She had live through two World Wars
and three lovers
and had died alone
with only grey walls to say good-bye.


James H. Webb

1994*

Out of the past a woman appears
“Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“Someone I loved a long time ago”
“No that’s not true you still love he so”

“In your eyes I can see a longing laid bare
Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“Someone who stole my heart from its home
Left me half shattered; left me alone”

“So why does her presence still fill you with fear?
Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“She’s no one my darling just let the thought go
For you are the sunlight and she’s last year’s snow

You fill my soul with hope and with care
Where she weighed me down you’ve lifted me clear
You are the answer to all of my prayers
I love you my darling. I love you my dear

You are the most love, one heart could convey.
She is a bad dream that won’t fade away.
Though I can’t forget her she can never compare
She’s no one my darling; there’s nobody there.”

James H. Webb

Another night slips past the window
Another day's gone on it's way
A mountain of yesterdays mounting
And the tomorrows are fading away
Take hold of my hand and don't lose it
Listen well to the words that I say
Remember me when I'm gone forever
Come visit me wherever I lay

How many birthdays have past now
Since you were my little child
How many scratches and bruises
From you playing just a little too wild
Time took us both on this journey
But all journeys must come to end
Don't dwell on the sadness of parting
But on the times that we had to spend

Another summer is fading behind us
As the leaves prepare for the fall
Ah the winter will soon be upon us
I can already hear it's cold call
But the warmth in your eyes keeps me smiling
And I'm proud of what you've become
You look down upon me so tall now
But you're still my precious young one

Another night slips past the window
Another day closes the door
I know that sometimes you wish things
Could be like they were before
But years of grace are upon you
And you don't need my hand anymore
I've given all the love I can give you
And tomorrow the day will be yours

J. H. Webb

Beauty adorns your face when you smile
And the light of your eyes is entrancing
I listen to your voice so soft and so warm
And my heart it feels like it's dancing

Oh darling of mine, oh eternal sunshine
A halo of kindness surrounds you
And through all that I am or ever will be
It's you I'll always feel bound to

Ah, but loves not a march that time moves along
It's the waltz of a life that's worth living
Because when you're here, nothing feels wrong
And my heart it just feels like giving

James H. Webb

March 1993*

Our friendship is a relationship created by both of us.
Before we came together, it did not exist.
It is shaped and sustained by our love, or lack of it.
It is a candle that we hold between us,
lighting our way through the world.
We must walk gently and side by side
or the winds or the times will most assuredly extinguish it,
and in our hands will be a thing that merely smokes
and smells and then grows cold.

The two of us are not the relationship.
Otherwise there would be no difference if we had never met.
The relationship is something new that now exists
and it will continue even if we separate permanently.
It is part of us and it will drain or strengthen each of us
depending on whether we nurture it from our hearts or
rob it with our fears.

If we can see this clearly we will instinctively rush to help each other
rather than turn away, and once that reaction becomes habitual,
we will be at one with a great love and a lasting friendship.
And wherever we are we will always
carry the other’s heart in our own
and never feel alone.

James H. Webb

(Nov 30, 2013 12:27am)

Now it's closer every time I look, though it might be just my age
Seems I read the book too fast and I’m approaching the last page
Well I don't know what's become of me or who I really am
But being further than I am right now was certainly my plan

Guess I didn't see the days approach - I only saw them leave
And now they are much fewer than all these falling leaves

I can't admit I miss you but I’ll give it one more try  
It’s just it was so long ago that I can’t remember why
That life we led and that man I was, was someone else’s dream
And all those lies and alibis now somehow seem obscene

Guess I didn't see the days approach – they went so quickly bye
And the autumn leaves fall no more but the winter snows sure fly

I still can't find that inner peace, hell, I can't even seem to grieve
for a time when I was younger and oh so much more naïve
But I’ve played so many lifelong parts that's it's easy to believe
That I am every one of them and all of them are me

Guess I didn't think my days would end - think that's how we all begin
And I never thought one day I'd lose - guess I always thought I'd win

James H. Webb

January 19, 2021

When the whistle blows the day comes to end
And I'm home alone until it blows again
I work all day. I rest all night
I guess you would say that's my life

And once I had dreams but they were far-fetched
I blew to the right; they blew to the left
Now the world's 2D no matter what size the screen
And people don’t touch me - just like in a dream

I don’t believe in a god, so there's no reason why
I should howl at the moon or reach for the sky
All reason behind, now there's no reasons left
I did what I could and lived with the rest

When the whistle blows the day it begins
Then I work 'til I'm tired and head home again
Don't know if I've lost, don't feel like a win
Took one in the heart, Took one in the chin.

J. H. Webb

June 05-11/96*

Well I was free after seven
But I didn't here your call
So I figured that you didn't care at all
Then I got myself so ****** depressed,
Concentrating on my loneliness,
That I didn't stop to see what I had at all
Well I'm so glad you are my friend,
So please don't **** me off again,
Or I might have to quickly break your fall

Cause after all, isn’t that what friendship is all about?
You give of yourself,  and yet you get more,
Than you ever could dish out

Now I'm not in control here,
but then neither Gail, are you dear,
isn't that the beauty of friendship after all?
So don't go chasing my heart away,
when my heart just wants to stay
and be there for you any time you call
There's a relationship inside of you,
for me my dear, but it frightens you
so you don't look inside your heart at all.

But after all, isn’t that what friendship is all about?
You give of yourself,  and yet you get more,
Than you ever could dish out

Well I'm your friend and I love you
And there's not many that I do
So ya see that makes you special after all
So just keep being who you are
and I'll celebrate you like a star
and maybe you'll come out one night after all
And I'll get to see the total you,
with your feelings flowing free and true
and your spirit will return to you

Cause after all, isn’t that what friendship is all about?
You give of yourself,  and yet you get more,
Than you ever could dish out

June 8, 2008*

It is in the dark of night they will come for you
Long after the shadows have come and gone
And the autumn air has gotten cold out there
And you find yourself craving for the dawn

Long after the roar of the younger years
Has settled upon your ears
And age has taken everything
Except your deepest fears
You'll carry on like a wayward ship
Like a wayward ship but to where?
You'll meet your death "give in" or fight
Or you'll find you just don't care

In the dark of night when they come for you
Long after the shadows have come and gone
When the autum air has gotten cold out there
And you find yourself craving for the dawn

Carry on, carry on, carry on.

For years and years they burned and glowed
Their love for each other it flowed and flowed

For years and years nobody spoke
And love and honour went up like smoke

For years and years the smoke it rose
And down below the lovers froze

For years and years the ashes fell
And buried the lovers and broke the spell

Dreams of the heart and unanswered prayers
Look into my eyes - that's all that's there

James H. Webb

I still have your picture; You never grew old
But how come I'm grey and you're shiny and cold
I don't see a wrinkle or any signs of age
'caused by the bars of your soft gilded cage

I knew you had wings; I didn't know you could fly
So far from my arms and so high in the sky
My loneliness binds me down hard to this Earth
I don't know who I am; Don't know what I'm worth

The edges are dog-eared and the coating is cracked
But it's still your picture and its holding me back
I remember the heartaches; I remember the pain
But Darling what we had we won't find again

And it's rivers of tear drops lost in acres of songs
and I'm drinking to discover what I did was so wrong
I've got mem'ries unopened and stories untold
But how come I'm grey and you're shiny and cold

We loved with a warmth could light up the sky
But the fire went out and the love it just died
I still have your picture; You never grew old
But how come I'm grey and you're shiny and cold

J. H. Webb

I saw you in my dream but you weren’t dressed
your makeup wasn’t on and your hair was a mess
I dreamed I loved you perfectly and then watched you leave
so I ended the reality before it could be

I woke up and demanded that the world go to sleep
and I haven’t woken up since well except for a peek
to see that nothing had changed
Move along

I saw you in a nightgown that flowed sheer and long
and in it your were dancing and singing my song
your beauty was transcendent and your legs were so long
and with each tilt and sway my heart sung along

Something in my body skipped a beat and was gone
but my head said that something had to be wrong
It said that nothing had changed
Move along

Now reality is darkness and dreams are the light
but it’s frightening to give up your soul to the night
I’ve lived so long with walls so high to keep me alive
That if I were to let you in I couldn’t survive.

I tell myself this pointless lie and then let it thrive
I say I’m waiting for reality but when it arrives
I say that nothing has changed
Move along

If I tried to hold you, I know you wouldn’t be real
If I tried to touch you well what would I feel?
You always dance around your pain like a pixie in flight
But you can never cover up the need in your eyes

Something in your body skips a beat and is gone
but your head says that something has to be wrong
and you say that nothing has changed
Move along

How long have I known you? No let me guess.
Longer than you meant to but stronger than the rest
I didn't hold you closest but I bet I held you best
Peel away the meaning and the sorrow is undressed

And there's a hunger that's relentless; it's a hunger that ain't new
It's a hunger that I borrowed from a girl who sang the blues
Well it looks like love to many, like obsession to a few
But others say it's just the way I fell in love with you

You were my only witness and so you know its true
There was no finer moment; there was nothing else to do
The mountains bowed before us - the heavens were in view
But there was sorrow from the moment I fell in love with you

How long since I've seen you. No let me guess.
Two other people's lifetimes - two decades of regret.
Too many times spent wondering was it really true
was there sorrow from the moment I fell in love with you?

Now many centuries later and many moments past
The path of time is kinder and the memories don't last
But if I didn't hold you closest, I bet I held you best
If you take away the meaning  - who I am is what is left

*James H. Webb

April 22/93*

She was pretty as a child
She grew quick. She grew wild
No one knew her. No one cared
No one touched her. No one dared
And her anger lead her astray, it's sad to say, most every day

And there are those who would say
It was her fault. She was to blame.
And though I know that may be true
You can't just say "it's such a shame"
And watch the world grow cold and grey, it's sad to say, most every day

Some go hungry. Some live alone.
Some get beaten in their own homes
Some have lives aren't worth a ****
They know no smiles or helping hands
And love for them is miles away, it's sad to say, most every day

And as for me I have a life
free of such troubles and such strife
I feel wanted and special too
My parents love still shines through
and I feel it's precious rays, I'm glad to say, most every day

But still I sit a selfish fool
Though I know life can be cruel
I do nothing to lend a hand
I give no comfort. I take no stand
I close my eyes and turn away, it's sad to say, most every day

And what of you? What do you do
Are you afraid as I am too
to look them straight right in the eye
to give your heart or precious time
to make the world a warmer place, in some small way, most every day

If that's the case how can you blame
A lonely child brought up in pain
When you yourself won't make a change
or even try to break the cage
that traps the soul in silent rage, it's sad to say, most every day

It's a dream without a memory to replace it
It's a moment that will never be fulfilled
It's a quiet and a lonely desperation
When you're living in the moments that are still

Somewhere between fear and desire
Where people choose to live or  "get by"
You stand to get burned by your own fire
When you're living in the moments that are still

It's a longing for a life full of meaning
For a life where you still have free will
'cause you're afraid to liver every minute
When you're living in the moments that are still

Actions are for the young and the brave ones
Not for someone who is over the hill
It's hard to gain forward momentum
When you're living in the moments that are still

Your father and your mother died before you
You're their lives and their wishes distilled
Yet it feels you learned nothing from them
When you're living in the moments that are still

And everyone dances in their own circles
But the circles get smaller until
Your friends and your family dance without you
When you're living in the moments that are still

You were there with your heart
And I was there with a song
And a dream that I held
Where you didn't belong

You didn't know how to cry
And I couldn't say why
But I left anyway
And I'm sorry to say
It all turned out for the worse

Yes you were there everyday
And you'd do everything I'd say
But when the magic isn't there
It's just too hard to bare

So I left for another
Less courteous lover
But she let me behind
And in the ravages of time
It all turned out for the worse

So I thought I should say
That I'm sorry today
For the pain that I caused
When I "threw you away"

And I just wanted you to know
Though it was so long ago
That I was wrong
And you were right
And it all turned out for the worse

*James H. Webb

Mar 3, 2009*

Where do you go to when you feel nobody cares?
Do you think of your old friend and wish I was there?
Do you ever remember all the fun things we did,
the good times we had and the feelings we hid?
Now I know you weren't ready for my kind of love
But it isn't that different than the one you're thinking of
'cause all that really matters is that the love you feel is strong
and that strength comes from the feeling that you really belong
I'm not saying that I think you were wrong and I was right
I'm just wishing you were here on my own lonely night

Here the weather's so clear and the moon is so bright
as I watch the couples staring up at the stars in the sky
and once I would have felt those same feelings inside
and the warmth of my love would have shone through my eyes
but tonight the stars look cold and so unreachably high
And there's no one to turn to and I'm too tired to cry
Ah but if you ever read this don't think you're to blame
You did what you had to and in that there's no shame
I'm not trying to say that you were wrong and I was right
I'm just wishing you were here on my own lonely night

So where do you go to when the world leaves you alone
When your heart has many questions but not a single home
When you're sick of being told the love you're feeling is wrong
and you've kept it to yourself for too incredibly long
and though you've found many others who seem to feel like you do
there's still no special other that makes you feel special too
Now I hear you're getting married to someone I've never met
and I'm jealous, and I'm saddened, and I'm full of regrets
Still I'm not saying that I was wrong and you were right
I'm just wishing you were here on my own lonely night

James H. Webb

There are songs I use to sing
that I can't remember
I want it to be fall
but it's into late November
and the momentary stall
is nose diving with the weather
there'll be no morning dew
nor afternoons of heather
and the ev'ning just fell through
with the promise of forever

So let me glide
let me slide
all that you gave to me
I want it back again

So let me glide;
take it in my stride
all that you gave to me
I want it back again

Ah don't you see
what you did to me?
I loved you in my time
fresh and clean as a baby

May 25th 2002*

You knew when it came
but not how it came to pass
You wondered when it touched you
would it really be your last
You held it like a baby
or like crystal next to glass
and slowly then you realized
at last your time was past

And I bless you and I curse you
for I know you all too well
I live inside your other self
and share your secret hell

James H. Webb

12:25 AM 2018-06-28

I heard rumours that you didn't love me anymore
So I went out dancing with a chintzy little *****
It didn't make me feel better in anyway at all
I just can't get used to how you never call

My friends say that I should just put the past behind
Rumours are that you found yourself another guy
Rumours can **** you if you listen to them all
I just can't get used to how you never call

I'm sorry for being a man so incomplete
Never understood why you thought you had to leave
Never could  get over the heartbreak of it all
I just can't get used to how you never call

You're in a another province. You're in another state.
You're in another time zone. The hour's getting late.
I know that I should text you why do my fingers fall?
I just can't get used to how you never call


J. H. Webb

Jan 15/94

I had a friend
He had no wings
So he never did learn to fly
I had a friend
Was ******* in strings
though she never seemed to ask why

But all I know is what I see
and you are nowhere in sight
And all I have belongs to me
is sorrow and lonely nights*

I knew a life
much like the life
that you now have and hope to keep
I had a wife
much like the one
you will surely try hard to be

There was a time
when hearts were free
and our feelings flowed like a stream
Love? It was true
and honesty everything
that it was always meant to be

But all I know is what I see
and you are nowhere in sight
And all I have belongs to me
is sorrow and lonely nights

There was an age
when words were free
conversations flowed just like wine
promises were kept
and honour meant everything
though I guess it never stood the test of time

?

Jan 11, 1991 (1:04am)*

Thank you for this song
It cheered me up when  I  was down
It felt the only thing right
when all was wrong
and I thank you for this song

Thank you for this song
It brought light to this desert of darkness
where I thought I belonged
and proved I was wrong
and I thank you for this song

Thank you for this song
May only the brightest stars guide you along
And the blessing of angels follow you
your whole life long
and I thank you for this song
and for letting me sing along

When the time comes
When the moment is near
And nobody's listening
Can you hear your own fear?

Can you feel the pain
That burdens your heart
Sink into your dreams
And tear them apart?

When the time comes
Like you knew it would
Will you be prepared
To do what your should?

Will you fight against the sorrow
Or will it drag you right down
All alone in the morning
When there's no one around?

Will the loneliness **** you
Like it almost did me
Or will you push it asunder
And wrestle your heart free?

They say nobody knows
Until the time comes
They say a lot of things
I don't know where they come from

But when the time comes
To make a new stand
Don't give up too eas'ly
Don't throw in your hand

Fight the same way
You did as a child
When the sorrow inside you
Made you so wild

And maybe just maybe
This time you will win
The battle's not over
Until you give in

J. H. Webb

Love doesn't block your doorway
And life doesn't ring you a bell
You won't even know when it's over
You won't even know how to tell

So clasp you hands to the engines
And make speed as quick as you can
Because when your life ride is over
There'll be nobody shaking your hand

And the pain that comes from the shadows
Of the people I'll no longer see
Weighs me down with a sorrow
That screams at my heart's dearest dreams

I want you to live forever
So you can remember me
And since I'm only dead once forgotten
You must live for eternity