Early childhood milestones **** by,
   first tooth,
       first words,
           first steps,
                first days at school.

Teenage milestones are anticipated,
    first date,
       first dance,
            first kiss.

Adult milestones arrive,
       first job,
           twenty-first,
                 engagement,
                     marriage,                                                                              
                       offspring.

Middle age milestones are measured
             by milestones of offspring.

Through latter years one yearns for
             milestones that have been.

At the end of one's years
        one waits for the inevitable,
              ultimate, milestone of
                    death and rebirth

No need to pray,
No need to speak.
No need for thoughts,
In the Ocean deep.

Just breathe in, breathe in,
Your consciousness is waning.
Your confidence is praying,
Your confidant prepared to stay.

Your heart is throbbing,
Your breath is wavering.
No need to pray,
The Ocean is taking you over,
Again.

Another wave upon my shores,
No more need for open doors.
Take a step into the shallows.
Prepare to leap from high atop,
The gallows.

Another step brings you closer to,
The Ocean edge is dropping still.
Another sip is all it takes,
To fall into Hell's open gates.

And fires beat upon the shores,
The Oceans waves are no more.
But still these waves beat me down,
Into the fires below the ground.

And we are the lost generation,
The end of time is all we wait on.
And still we think we are good.
You fool, you fool, you're breathing still.

On and on passes time,
Leaving us swiftly behind.
And still we wait for our last chance,
To close the doors on our romance.

To my bed I pull you slowly,
To the gallows waiting behind me.
Lay your head upon my pillow,
As the noose tightens, I close the window.
I watch you drop from up on high,
To the Ocean's depths we rise.
And we are drowning, though we stand,
I welcome you with open hands.

You'll sit with me upon the bedside,
Waiting til we all die.
Though poison tastes like honey and wine,
The antidote is hard to find.

And so we are the forgotten youth,
Laid to waste by father's troops.
And though their bullets make us bleed,
We trudge on through the widow's weave.

Through mud and blood we find our place,
Lost in our ***** tastes.
I thought that maybe we could find,
Peace hidden deep inside.

But still the monks say we must wait,
Lost inside this burning place.
And Father stands upon the shore,
Hoping we shall open the door.

Though Heaven's full,
We'll make our place,
Lost into this burning face,
And still I find you hurting still,
My heart and soul have had their fill.

So take up my razor,
And skin my flesh.
Leave no more, no nothing left.
Peel my skin, my flesh, my bone.
And leave me a rotting soul.

For Father stands upon these gates,
Hell burning across his face.
And the Ocean will take none unto,
The depths will have us rotting soon.

So float back down,
And swim inside.
I know you know,
I've got much to hide.

But with my flesh, my bone and sinew,
Know that I have forgotten you.
And hope that one day you'll find,
A casket burning with me inside.

you're not in control,
by your mind doesn't wander.
for a few hours everything is frozen,
still.
all emotions disappear,
like a soul in a corpse.
concentration is impossible.

but it ends with relief.
you're no longer a zombie,
but they return.
the fear, and the thoughts,
and they're angry.

you tried to suppress them,
but it made them stronger.
you yearn for the high,
from the drugs meant to help.

it's desperation against control.
allow a pill to control your mind,
not a disorder

the end is beckoning

he loves me,
he loves me not,
he loves me,
he loves me not.
petals fall
as do my tears
I know he does not love me
so why am i still
destroying flowers?

I can't get through the ocean
On my own,
The same way
I can't get through to you

I don't know you.
You are just a stranger
Behind the same prescription
Though your eyes
Have never looked the same
To me
As they once did

You look good
But you know it
I prefer beautiful things
That don't have to ask
For the love they won't get

Admirance is different;
A lust seen through
Two tiny black holes
I think that's the only sight
You've ever known

I should have been gold to you
Because you said I was
You were my world
But I guess I was just the fool

I've always been the one to defend you
With or without me
I wanted you to have the best
But I now find
I'm the one who needs defending

You're army of insecurity
Is no match for my swift feet
I could never use your secret as a weapon
But I've considered it

The person I loved in you
No longer exists
I was sad to find
that my friend is gone too

I don't want to be your boomerang
I want to be your bird
But I'm caged by the thought
That you have a heart under all that
Armor

The bath and body
Were lukewarm
And at the grave
Only five mourned
So she reached
For a bag of relief
Smack on the table
That would blow his mind
Blood under the nostril
Chest pains and a cough
All the bottles in the world
Just weren’t enough
Walking around
With eyeballs exposed
The quiet vampires
Are craving mystery
Take a swim
In the chemical ocean
Drown in your vows,
Your blood and your potions
To live in the afterworld
To die in life
To mingle with the spirits
To feed on the great light
She really needs
A bag of relief
To feel invincible
To feel at ease