I'm not living nor am I dead,

Simply laying on a stretcher bed,

I hear voices above my head,

the sound of tears being shed,


I feel my mother grasping my hand,

rubbing my skin against my medical band,

I hear the docter's words in my head,

Waiting for a response, a movement, or a simple breath.


The machine no longer sounds the beats of my heart,

It's monotone, continuous, with no end,

My mother's warmth is ripped away from my lifeless hand,

She screams and I hear it fade as she's pushed away from my bed,

I reach for her but my body does not do what I command,

it lays still, peaceful, like the dead,

but i'm alive trapped within my own head,

I'm screaming, crying, wishing they would understand,


I try to calm my mental stress,

but then heard electrical wiring,

and began to panic within
                                             once again,

the metal plates were placed against my chest,

in attempt to resuscitate, revive, and bring back my soul, once again


There were seconds of silence,

not a single breath,

until the sound of the machine beeping,

That's when my eyes flickered open, once again,


- Izzy **