i knew a man who was the best **** actor
i'd ever met
there was this silky texture to his skin underneath the stage lights
there was endless echoes in his laughter
his arms were a safe haven within his own theatre
i could feel his soul become one with mine
watching him perform an entire act
with just our bodies
i don't think i have ever seen a portrayal of love look so convincing
but it was all an act
when the lights were out and he took off his mask
there stood a gremlin of a man
possessing the most vile soul i had ever come in contact with
a man who convinced me i was a precursor of his lies
there stood an extension of Abaddon
in the middle of an empty stage

it's nearly impossible to fathom how somebody else is alive because i chose to be
with this roots emerged from the soil beneath my feet
curling around every inch of skin rapidly
down my throat and over my eyes
i have become encased
within the plane of a boy prophet

i hope it resonates
the ways of me
my eyes you'll drown in deep crystal blue as you sink to the bottom
where god hid gold
my laugh deafening and leaving no silence for hate
plump lips where words fly like knives and cut open your heart
the numbers carved into my collarbone numbering your days
in existence
i am alpha
i am the omega
the beginning
and the end

insecurity in itself is greed
you sit there
you ramble
about how
you can't do this because you aren't thin
you can't look good because your nose is too big
you aren't lovable because you're scatterbrained
dude
listen
you block out all the love everyone is giving you
pieces of their soul
in the process of hating yourself
you also project your hurt onto others
who are just like you
that just wanna feel loved
and
who wants to make you feel loved

"Industrialization is ruining humanity
Capitalism is ruining humanity
Social Media is ruining humanity"
*******
Since the dawn of time every single advancement in our existence has lead to our downfall
If we've learned anything in the past year it's how bleak everything truly is
We have blindly chased progress all this time
Existence in itself is merely a capitalization on some sort of product
Some way to have profit
We're all born to die
We're meant to have a downfall
We can't last forever

i am not built to last
i am built to live
built for walking in the middle of the road
showered with streetlamp rays
built for dying on bathroom floors
i live for feeling skin to skin
i live for sleeping in while the world moves on without me
i am going to give a lifetimes worth of love
in about a fifth of the human lifespan
my impact on this world revolves around a ticking clock
i am merely a marker
a guardian angel