Before I could connect the dots
They became like stars
And sat on your cheeks
Painting the universe with scars.
Taking me to a place
Where rain drops elate
And sun dries the fields
Where the great trees yield
Seeds of yesterday's blessings.
Do you know knuckles tighten
Tears swell and bloom,
And vessels seem to cringe
When your name,
Like a knife
Is thrown across the room.
I hate the sour taste of resent on my tongue,
And the emptiness of words
Like the songs never sung.
You, like a cloud, hang too low
Like last night when they pried
So I swallowed the tears to let it go,
Heavy with regret.
Each one of my bones has your initials etched
And probably my forehead too
Because everyone seems to draw a line between me and you
Thicker then it ever grew on your side of the fence.
The truth behind us is as simple as flames,
One always burns faster, and nothing's to blame
But it's 5 pm and my hands have moved on
To someone else's back
And you may hold her hair back for a moment on your bed
But she will never understand the
Mountains in your mind
Or try to climb to sunrise and understand the lies
Like I did one Sunday morning.
I hope she never loves you
Because you deserve nothing more then the sting of the sea you refuse to walk along with me.

I woke up in a pool of my own blood
Stood out of bed with shaking legs
Felt it drip down my thighs
Made it to the bathroom
Threw up twice &
Cried
And I cried
And I cried
And I was cold
For an hour or so
Then I sweat until
I couldn't catch my breath
And I sweat
And I sweat
And I swore I wouldn't blame you
For the nightmares that would follow
Swore I wouldn't blame you for the pain
But you didn't sit at the edge of my bed
You didn't sing me to sleep
When I needed it most
I walked outside
Once I felt strong enough to move
I contemplated getting in my car
I wanted to make it to the hospital
But I knew part of me didn't want to make it
Out alive
So I sat down
On a lawn chair
And lit a cigarette
I pulled my knees up to my chest
To avoid the shattered wine glasses
Below my feet
The wind blew lightly
Rocked the water in the pool beside me
I wanted to dive in
But I knew part of me wouldn't want to
Swim back up
So I sat
On a lawn chair
With my knees up to my chest
For eight hours
And when the night swallowed the sky
I cried
And I cried
And you didn't sing me to sleep
You never do anymore
And I swore I wouldn't blame you
But it's getting harder to stay true
Knowing that a part of you
Died inside me
A part of you died inside me
I'm sorry
But the same part of you will be the death of me
I swear
And that's a promise I will keep
I'm sorry

I lost the reigns I thought I had,
and lost my thoughts in memories.
I've been thinking in past tense,
and I don't think I'm walking forward.

I don't embrace the change with acceptance,
and I don't welcome it with uncertainty.
The ivy on my fingertips is a sure fire sign that
I am wilting by the hour.

I think leeches might have eaten,
what I thought was my heart,
and the mayflies might have collected,
what I thought was my mind.

As I lay and desinigrate,
I become meshed into the wood around me.
I lost the reigns I had, like,
I am not meant for the reality I claimed.

The soft chill of the air at night,
and the spiders on my spine: my fright.
The air seems brisk yet it doesn't touch me,
but I can tell from the way it floats above me.

The reigns, they still left me,
alone in the dark.
Because I couldn't find them,
I couldn't re-spark.

So I am lost like a legend,
a small useless clock.
I am without reason,
my will has been stopped.

I’ve gone color blind from staring
at the sun for too long,
or maybe at you for too long.
The leaves and sky seem to blend together.
Days start to blend together.
I hope the grass doesn’t bother you,
because my legs feel as if they’re made of it.
Always collapsing on each other,
even though I wish they’d collapse onto yours.
The worn out Oak that has spent today with us
is giving everything it has left,
but it fails to keep hints of sunlight from your face.
Sunlight always finds your face.
For as honest as we are,
you told me today that we are liars,
and I cannot disagree.
Because even though I say, “Nothing.”
when you ask what’s running through my mind,
I see oceans in your eyes
and constellations on your lips.

As kids when we'd come screaming from our dark rooms
In the middle of the night
Telling tales of ghosts and goblins
Creeping around us as we slept
they'd teach us to open our closet doors,
Or crouch under our beds
"Peer in
& you will see,
No monsters"
They said...
But they never taught us to
Close our eyes
And peer into our minds
Probably because they feared what we'd find

Most days I am ****** about into the tides.
I often find myself dangerously distant from the shore,
borderline drowning.
Once in a ******* blue moon, I get pulled into a rip current of you.
I bathe in every inch of you,
soak up your radiance.
I get my sun tan,
and take a dip into your ocean
body
soul
heart

every chance I get.