And to think of all the nights
That I cried myself to sleep
While you were probably out
Drinking a beer at some **** bar
Not thinking a single thought about me
But I guess that's how it's been
All these past two years

Sometimes I wonder what would happen
If I grew deathly ill
Would you come see me?
Who would tell you?
I imagine that you would come
And I think about how I would spend the last bit of our time together
I don't have a clue what I would say
But I've concluded that I would lure you close enough
And strike you in the face
And if you stayed through that
I know I would want to kiss you
Just one last time

You took your jacket back when you left for college
That should've been a sign
That you never leave anything behind
You don't let people or places have pieces of yourself
You're too afraid
Or stubborn
Or whatever
And now I look back on that time
Over a year ago
And wish I had seen it for what it was then
The only thing you left behind
Was me

My period is nine days late
And I still hate myself for having loved you
I guess this is just my luck
I should have noticed sooner
But I was so overwhelmed with grief
That I couldn't see past the emptiness I felt
It's ironic how my body is no longer empty
And I am no longer alone
You caused those feelings
And with no intention of doing it yourself
A part of you reversed them
I'm sure you're having fun
With your great girl
And your great life
Not thinking a single thought about me
While any chance I had of getting over you
Disappeared within an instant
And now I must make a decision
Whether I hate or love
This piece of you inside me

I hate love
Because everyone I love
Loves somebody else
My father is happy
With his new wife
and his three beautiful daughters
I was never taken into account
When he fell in love
And forgot about me
The man that I loved
Found happiness with someone else
I guess I was never that girl
Never the one to make him happy
Otherwise he would've loved me, too
My bestfriend doesn't care
She is head over heels
For a boy she met four weeks ago
So our seven year friendship
Now means nothing
Compared to the promise of love

I can't keep being nothing
To the people I make priorities
I feel worthless
I just want to be the one for somebody
For anybody
Because I feel like the sidelines
Have been my home
For the past eighteen years
And it's times like these
That make me want to break down
And call you
I know I shouldn't
But maybe, just maybe
You would make me feel loved