Jade Ivy

Jade Ivy Jan 2014

I bet you'll miss the Attention more than you'll miss Me

I'm done writing love poems about you
you don't deserve them
you don't need the extra confidence boost
and I'm tired of feeding your already oversized ego
Don't look for them anymore
Don't look for me anymore

I'm perfectly fine without you
I just never wanted to figure that out

Jade Ivy Jan 2014

Give & Take

Loving someone
Is wanting them to never feel pain
But I can't help hoping that you suffer
I want you to miss me
I want you to feel lonely
I want you to be destroyed
So that maybe you will understand
So that maybe you will feel a fraction
Of what I'm feeling
The pain
The emptiness
The betrayal
Maybe if you knew
Exactly how all of this felt
You would change
And learn what it feels like
To really love someone
The way that I loved you

Jade Ivy Jan 2014

Day 1

I'm a bundled mess of anger and sorrow
But my lack of sleep left me with no energy
To feel emotions

Jade Ivy Jan 2014

Sheets

Life works in mysterious ways
Ending things exactly where they started
My favorite memory of us
Is now tainted by our end
You were in town
After a long time away
I was nervous at first
But I couldn't say why
We drove to a spot
Overlooking the water
That we had been to before
But it was never the view
That made an impression
You had your phone plugged in
Playing our favorite songs
As I sat on your lap
Facing you
We didn't speak
But mouthed the words
To Sheets
Slowly and carefully
As I traced my fingers
From your temple to your chin
And rested my thumb on your lips
You had one hand on my waist
The other resting gently by my side
And I wanted it to last forever
That moment before we kissed
When we only admired each other
And explored each other's features
Those were always my favorite times
When I felt my love for you most deeply
But that song came on today
The one that accompanies my favorite memory
And the words truly meant something this time
It was just a sad song before
It held no truth
But I felt the ache in every line
I related to every verse
And cried the whole song through
I can't tell if it was mostly because
The words cut so deeply
Now that they held meaning with me
Or if it was because
I could never again look on that memory
In it's innocence
It would always be tarnished
By the song's every aching word

Jade Ivy Jan 2014

My Dying Wish

I cried the whole way home
Gasping for air
Body overcome by sobs
I didn't see them coming
Until it was too late
I turned my head
And stared death in the face
I was stuck in time
As I watched the truck crush the driver side of my car
Killing me on contact
That last thing I felt was heartbreak
To the point that I was numb to the physical pain
And when they pulled my lifeless body out of the car
They could see my swollen face
And the tears dried upon my cheeks
And they could hear our song on repeat
It sure as hell wasn't the way I wanted to go
But you were the last thing on my mind
And the last name on my lips

Jade Ivy Jan 2014

Short-Sighted

I say that I am done
But I always leave a small part of me open
Vulnerable
Susceptible
I don't mean to
But I can never seem to help it
I can't let go of the whisper inside of me
Suggesting that maybe something will change
Maybe you will do something to change my mind
Something that will prove anything
And every time
I am left disappointed
And more heartbroken than before
Because not only do I feel foolish
For the many years spent with you
But I feel foolish for continuing
To open my heart up to you
Even when I know that you are undeserving
And you prove that to me
With every lack of action
Every lack of effort
Still, I can't help but to give you infinite chances
Because I foster a love for you
So deeply inside of me
But each time that you make it clear
That you don't feel the same
That this means nothing to you
I begin to hate you
Just a little

But it adds up

Jade Ivy Jan 2014

Name of the Game

It wasn't about me, was it?
It was about all of them
I was never the one
I was merely one of many
But just know that for me
It was always about you.