I can see it in your eyes
The fear of getting too close
You hide it well
With your playful smile and gentle touches
You convince people that you’re okay
But I can see that you’re not
I can smell it
You shine like the sun
But the sun is destined to burn out, right?
You know it, too
You try and hold off your destruction
By shutting people out
But that won’t help
I know you’ve been hurt
Abandoned by the ones you love
Left to figure things out on your own
But don’t hide behind your strength
Let it define you
I know you’re afraid
That the blackness inside of you
Will scare everyone away
But the ones that stay
Are the ones that count
You’ve been left alone before, I know
But you can’t expect
Every new man in your life to do the same
Some will, I can’t deny that
But you will never find the man who will stick around
If you don’t allow yourself to see him
Lift your head up, sweetheart
Wipe your tears
Shed your fears
And let everyone see the light in you
I promise that it will outshine the darkness
What do I know, right?
I’m just a teenager
But don’t let outward appearances fool you
Because somewhere hidden
To the naked eye
Are the same secrets and scars
That you see branded on your skin
And if you take the chance
To look close enough
You’ll see mine, too

I'm used to being abandoned by the men in my life
But that never makes it any easier
I was always a dreamer
And a part of me still is
I let my hopes grow too big
Filled with hot air
Only for them to float away from me
Disappearing
Like everything else
Naturally I've built up a wall
But people always find a way to sneak in
And usually walk right out
Once I've opened the doors
You could say I have trust issues
But there's always a moment
When I open myself up
Completely
It scares the hell out of me
But I do it anyways
For the chance at something bigger than myself
The only problem
Is that I don't do well with vulnerability
I worry, I doubt
But only because
Having another man walk out of my life
-- Especially you --
Would be too much to bear.

Every time I close my eyes
I'm back in that bed
Nothing mattered but me & you
You curled me into you
Pushed my hair aside
And kissed me
Tenderly in the hollow of my neck
Everything about that moment was perfect
And I remember wishing it would never end
Having your arms around my waist
Your soft breath on my shoulder
I gave in to you entirely
And I didn't regret it
You made me feel beautiful
You made me feel loved
And I can't tell you how much
I needed that
How much I needed you
But now you're gone
And all I have left of that night
Exists only behind closed eyes

It was everything I've ever wanted
And desperately needed
All the men in my life have left
Killed themselves, forgotten about me, moved away
And I still carry all of that pain with me
Never able to let go of it
And I am terrified
Of what you might do
You're already so far away
And it's hard to convince myself
That despite the distance
You're still here
With me
I'm sorry
For everything
Just know that I need you
And that I wish last night
Could've lasted forever

I fell in love with what you could be
but never were
I loved the expectations I had for you
but reality knocked me down
too many times
And I can't keep wishing on stars
for things that aren't there