Every morning before school
My grandma would cup exactly
Five almonds into my palm
And with her signature smile
She’d beam proud wrinkles
And she’d steadily say:
That’s heart and brain food
That’s what you need to eat
To get ahead in this man’s world
That’s nature’s secret medicine.

And six years later
I’ve kept up the almond habit
Turning it into a thing of tradition
Toasting her words because
She taught me the most important marriage
Is between my passion and knowledge.

Like autumn rains
You surprised me
And I got caught in
Your gusts of color —

So I outstretched my arms
Embraced the cataclysmic chaos
Jumped into piling leaves
Adding my own imprint
To the rusting gold collage.

Raindrops do not drown
When they hit the rough ocean -  
They add to madness.

I can't stand to live my life watching others pretending to like me.
I don't see why people throw themselves at me and then just.
Leave.
I sit and wonder what did I ever do to drive them away from me.
I think I'm kind and fun to be around, but I just always feel like I annoy everyone that surrounds me.

Sure, just stop talking to me even though I never did anything.
Oh! And then when you need something just come crawling back and of course I will accept you because that's just me.

Just me! Maybe that's it.
Maybe the person I am isn't good enough for others.
Maybe when I act like myself it's annoying to others.
Maybe my personality bothers others and that's why they shut me out.
Maybe I should just stop trying to be the centre of attention and go on with life watching from the outside.

If you want to leave, just don't make it about the person I am. My personality. Me.

Like my old sweater,
You cloaked me in words but let
My emotions pill.

Tea is so soothing
Like a mother in a cup
Whose simple touch heals.

These days, not much seems to be working
Words don't flow so smoothly
The patterns are off
The rhymes predictable
The themes, all too common

When stuck in a rut
One can't do much
But ride out the waves of frustration
And hope to your God for inspiration
And hope to your God, for inspiration

What's there to say
When everything is okay

if I could, I would draw the back of every
time she turned away from me - her hair and how it met the base of the skull and repelled
downward or climbed back up, she'd cut it short and then
watch it grow,            

if I could, I would re-trace her ears and marvel at how the skin joined in perfect harmony behind them. if I could, I would have had her a million times more in between my fingers, running them through her - everyevery I have
and had and
will have.