Ivie: Favorites

Oct 2013 Ivie

Amanda

The kind of boy who is kind to everyone but himself
The kind of boy who's heart is just as fragile as you thought yours was before he claimed love upon every piece of ground you trailed footprints on
The kind of boy who will give you a hand even if your fingertips are lit with blazing fires to the touch
The kind of boy who will tuck your insecurities into bed and politely make certain they'll never wake up again
The kind of boy who will blow you glass figurines with only his eyes of everytime you smiled at him; even if all you blew him were shapeless balloons with all of your two hands
The kind of boy who will love every ounce of life in you even if you are the only reason of turmoil in his
The kind of boy who would rather see you take a machete to his neck than a razor to your already broken enough wrist
The kind of boy who is mine.

Oct 2013 Ivie

Fancy As Fuck

Oct 2013 Ivie

Patricia Tsouros

Fancy As ****

FANCY AS ****

I knew something was not right. I went in with a sledge hammer challenged the truth and you put the phone down. Me in London, You in Dublin. One day to our planned London Weekend.

I came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wrecked me

I never meant to start a war
I just wanted to know the truth
I wanted you to tell the truth
I couldn’t live a lie; I was running for my life

When you put the phone down on me on Wednesday night Oct 10th followed by a solicitor’s letter the following day, that was abuse. That letter was profoundly nasty. It was all a lie, just like as I now know, the rest of our relationship was. You went to the Garda, anything just so I would not discover the truth.

Your abuse is not without it's consequences. I needed you to tell me to talk to me. I don't feel revenge, anger, hate; I just feel utter shock, used, physically abused and mostly devastation.

But you know what, it hurts like hell, but I will fight back and I will find my way out of this abuse. I find it hard to believe you want me to suffer like this. Now I know you ‘Fancied Me As ****’. Why not just be straight up? Why all the lies? Why not give me the chance to walk away when I wanted to?

This is more of a story than a poem.

Oct 2013 Ivie

the rope

Oct 2013 Ivie

Sofia Paderes

the rope

It was once
A never-ending-everlasting
forever-staying-never-breaking
never-snapping-never-changing
thick as maple syrup fresh from the tree
long enough to tie up the galaxies together
TWICE
this was the hope I had.

I threw it around you
the seventh time we met,
and I tied one end to your left ankle
and the other end to the space in my heart that I had
saved just for you
I didn't know I was saving it for you.

Because I had no idea
that I would end up caring this much.
That I would write poems about you until three in the morning
and turn those poems into songs
only to forget the melody.

That you would be the reason
for my curled up legs sitting in the corner
and the floor a sea.
My floor is still a sea.

And no one warned me
that you would be the root of this
black tree that is thriving inside my head
despite the dull axe that thumps all day long
yet produces
only bruises
no scratches
I have enough of those,
because apparently the consequence of love
is pain.

And I know a lot about pain.
My hands will be red and blistered for an eternity
from the rope burns you gave me, because
every time you strayed,
I would tug
and then you'd stay.
But your pulls got harder
and your left ankle stronger...
so did mine.
I learned to stop picking at fresh wounds
to let them callous instead
my hands are as thick as a bear
and I've got you to thank for that.

I thought
that you would never stray again
after that nasty big cut you got on your forehead
from wandering too far
you crept up the edge of the cliff
inch by inch
but you crept too far.
You returned with that cut and
swore you'd stay yet
now your wound is reopening
and your big toes are already off the cliff
and this rope I tied around you
this once massive rope
this once massive hope
is now
a stringy little thread.

My hands are shaking and
my wrists are bleeding
but I'm still holding on.
Because my real hope
is anchored to something
much stronger than the both of us.

Oct 2013 Ivie

Noon

Oct 2013 Ivie

Julia

Noon

I'm sure that when you look at her
you see waking up together on cold
winter mornings,
she wrapping the robe more tightly
across her chest in attempt to save
body heat.

I hate the idea of strangers.

Oct 2013 Ivie

Present.

Oct 2013 Ivie

Sand

Present.

We’re no fortune tellers
No time travelers —
God isn’t whispering His
Distant plans into our ears.

We’re just hopefuls
Speculating our futures
On 11:11 wishes
& fallen eyelash kisses.

Next time you see a shooting star
Harness its magic
Soak in that you’re made of star-stuff
And don’t you dare close your eyes
To breathe out another fruitless prayer.

Oct 2013 Ivie

(101w)

Oct 2013 Ivie

Tallulah

(101w)

She leaned in so close I could smell a trace of that fancy tea she sips every morning, and she whispered “What does falling in love feel like?”
I laughed,
“Have you ever spun around and around so fast you lose track of e v e r y t h i n g if only for a moment? Arms outstretched. Laughing. For those precious moments nothing else in the world matters; you take flight. You think, “maybe I don’t ever have to fall.” But of course you do fall, helplessly, to the ground and just lie there as the world spins around you. That’s what falling in love feels like.