I want to know where you are,
While I'm thinking about him,
While I wonder why it feels so wrong,
When he says my name,
Why my heart doesn't beat when you do,

I don't want him to say anything,
I want you to say everything,
I want you to tell me we'll be fine,

Why does it feel so fake,
When he holds my hand,
And asks what's wrong,
Why do I wish you were him,
That he was gone, and you,
In his place,
A much better fit,
Walking into the sunset,
As I watch from heaven above

Words so safe,
So sweet,
Like oxegyn,
After prolonged suffocation,
I breathe them in,
The words,
Flood my lungs,
But there are never enough

I hope you're all cut up,
seeing the red between
the lines. I hope you're
seeing me when you fake
it with her. I hope you're seeing
my reds on her whites. I
hope you **** her up just like
the last one. I hope you ****
her up, just like me.

I hope you're all cut up,
just reading this.

My blood runs cold
on the floor.

Before I retreated,
To the safety,
Of my wardrobe walls,
Nine words escaped,
My father's lips,
I know this is going to upset you but...
Frantic, I did not wait,
To hear the rest,
But slammed the closet door,
And disappeared,
Into the darkness

A slave to all the poison,
Running through my veins,
Take my rights,
I've no will

Her eyes are closed,
But the ground's still shaking,
The frost has settled,
But the water's still racing,
The air is still,
Nobody's breathing

I have lost so much,
Gambled away all of myself,
With each bet a higher bid,
Until now,
When I find nothing,
Not one shred of myself to offer,
I have given all,
Wasted all,
And you have left me,
Nothing

Lie with me on my un-made bed,
So I'll have a place,
To rest my troubled head,
As your heart beats fast,
I'll run with you,
Through the sunsets,
And milleniums of grey,
So we can spend centuries,
We'll sleep on lonely shores,
Forever more, together,
Don't have to care about the past,
The present is all we know,
I'll bury my worries,
Safe with yours,
In the November Snow

A slave to all the poison,
Running through my veins,
Take my rights,
I've no will

Now that I'm gone,
Will you still sing about always,
Writing my name in the spaces,

Now that you've left,
Will you still draw my letters in tattoos,
Still feel the words on the tip of your tongue,

Now you've stopped loving,
Will you still breathe my perfume,
Still find my shampoo lingering on your sheets,

Now that I've lost you,
Will you still remember,
You loved me

Tear my clothes off,
tear my heart out.

Stop for a moment,
You've been under,
For far too long now,
The surface is out of reach,
It's darker than your remember,
Close your eyes,
Once more

It's stupid,
How we come to trust,
Someone,
Because they listen,
And then, as if you never expected it,
They turn around,
With the same old smile,
In their eyes,
And slap you in the face,
And all you can do,
Is feel the bitterness,
Burning so deep,
Scaring your blood-stained skin,
And you can't help but wonder,
*Why?

With the precision of a surgeon,
She traces her old veins,
Under the web of scars,
There's nothing left for her now,
The diamonds were only glass,
Waiting to make their mark

I am in a room full of things.
Empty, lifeless things.

Which of these things is not like the others?

I'm not like anything.

You stole me high,
Upon the windy bridge,
Steady and firm against my back,
Holding your ground,
Against vain struggle,
Looking below the surface,
We were calm and wondrous,
Reflected on the river tide,
Shadowed by glory,
And likened atonement,
Spun to face you,
"Trust me"
I surrender in my mind,
To fall beneath you

*In some ungodly hour,
Remember

I feel like you can't hold me,
I'm too cut open,
Too insubstantial,
Too much space,
Too much glue,
Not enough pieces

So consumed, am I,
By pain,
A pain so strong,
It grows real within,
Aching inside of me,
It over-whelmes me,
Distracting me from thought,
Taking me as it's victim,
Destroying what's left,
And leaving me an empty shell,
Cast off and useless to the world

Your touch draws scarlet lines,
On my china white skin,
And complements this blood,
With painted purple-blue bruises,
Hurt, I run from you,
I hide, desolate and afraid,
We both know I could never conjure,
The strength to stay away,
Hence, I crawl - unwillingly - back to your arms,
I lock myself in your dark cages once more,
I'm crying,
But my tears won't ease this pain

Just like paper,
We'll fold and tear,
Change colours and fade,
But we'll always be,
Paper

The cavity blooms
from the bones.
Twigs and bones,
hollowed out by parasites.

Would you blame me
for cutting myself open
if you knew? I didn't ask
for the corpses to bear relation
or for the words to fall close
to home. I didn't turn the waves on,
or pull his clothes off, or stick
the ******* under his nose.
So excuse me for a moment,
it's a quarter inch past the radial artery
and I've got stitches to pull.
Don't bother with the lights,
I'm used to working in the dark.

You're the bones of my earth,
but there's always something
hollow under this ground. Some
empty coffin, full of air that was
a man, a boy; a monster. He was
full of the air of my world. He
wretched it from his lungs;
wretched it from my lungs.

Downcast your eyes,
To watch the broken path,
The footsteps finally stolen,
From beneath you,
Another blood-smear,
On the once white pavement

My mind fills,
With perfect things,
Perfect things,
That used to belong with someone else
Maybe they're not so perfect...

Perhaps I'm falling,
Into the bottom of this bottle,
Looking up,
From the palm of your hand,
Dancing between your fingers,
Perhaps I'm less now,
Wasting and diminished,
Perhaps I'm just not,
Perfect

You're closer, almost
in reach of my senses. Your
familiar sting on my skin,
that touch I could never quite
trust. Don't let me breathe
you in.

To an uncle,
My oldest, most loving,
Who held my tender heart,
Dear in his hands,
With skin like the leather binding,
Of his old, worn books,

His words of wisdom,
Shine through his humour,
Like the broken colour of a painting,

I will remember,
His st-stutter, his stammering,
His clover and fresh grass scent,
And the fire in his old brown eyes,
When he is gone,
I know he will be gone soon,

Dearest Uncle Peter...
Peter like the rabbit,
Like rabbits he hunted,
Peter and his cabbages,

My Old Peter grew the best ones,
With Sam by his side,
Sam who drank his beer,
"Good dog, Sam", Peter said,
He barely gets a word out now,
His voice rusty, unused,
Like the garden tools will be,
When Peter is gone

We didn't know your favourite song,
so we chose one from your home town.
A quiet hymn about the joy of God;
I'm sure you would have frowned
behind the outward smile,
as you looked down from above
to bear witness to the solemn mourning.

We're growing up too fast,
You're breaking between my fingers,
Hiding between my sheets,
Pillow forts crashing down,
I just want to hold on,
To what we have,
We can still be children,
A moment more

I saved you a spot by the fire.
Hold my hand for a while,
if only to watch time pass.
I just want your footsteps to
meet the door.

Please, come home.

I look into other men's eyes
and see your flecked blue irises.
Every few faces has your smile
or the creases from around your lips.
Every strong, freckled shoulder
is your reincarnated skin.

I can't keep your fragments
from haunting me.

Clouds fill the emptiness,
Grey and cold,
Stone clouds,
Masking the blue,
Soft, sweet blue,
From view,
For we are powerless,
To clouds

Lost,
In my labrinth of depression,
Cold, lonely,
The sky threatening to drown me,
With its heavy rain,
I don't believe in gravity,
Do I believe in anything?
I question my world,
My empty world,
What else is there?
I ask no-one,
I have no faith,
No choice but to roam,
This lonely prison,
I walk,
One step, two steps,
Why can't I go further?
I am not afraid!
"Yes, you are",
Heaven calls,
But I do not believe in Heaven,
I step into Hell,
*Isn't that where I was anyway?

I threw up blood and toothpaste,
Swirling down my sink,
I thought it might be beautiful,
But really, it was sick.

It's never an intention,
Just reflex; purge and flush,
Humanity's out of context,
I'm not in it for the rush.