If only the rain,
Could soak throught my memories,
And wash from my mind,
All that I loved

Stop for a moment,
You've been under,
For far too long now,
The surface is out of reach,
It's darker than your remember,
Close your eyes,
Once more

The world's weight,
Rests on our shoulders,
Growing heavier by the second,
Dragging us down,
Into the depths of oblivion,
Empty oblivion,
As the bleeding,
Pulls us further

Burn me down,
I'm not breathing,
Keep the composure,
I'm not feeling,
Hold on another moment,
I'll forget the second it's over,
Don't let me forget,
This time,
Wake me up

The heat escapes,
Bleeding from every part of me,
I'm blue,
I'm frozen,
I'm tracing red lines,
With steel and ice,
They're breaking me apart,
Pouring my blood into the snow,
They've taken all of me,
And left me to the darkness

I can't undo this;
I can't untangle you from
my sheets.

I can't cut away my scars.

I can't unravel my knotted veins.

I can't see past this.

I could have stayed forever,
Watching the ocean,
Even after the sun had faded,
I wish I'd stayed,
Under the stars

There was a girl,
And a monster,
He was not scary,
As you might think,
He was kind,
Unimaginably so,
Gentle and cautious,
He dwelled on the negative,
The scars within him,
The makings of the monster,

But the girl saw,
Past the blood and bruises,
And inside there was a boy,
A broken boy,
He seemed scared,
Of something,
Of nothing,

She prayed,
Day and night,
That he would shed the scars,
And see,
There was no monster at all,
It took months,
Weeks,
Days,
Seemingly forever,
They were breaking,
But she wouldn't give up,

It was raining,
The black sky thundered,
On the day,
The monster died,
The girl gave him,
A mirror,
Cracked and framed,
In red rust,
He looked inside,
And the monster found,
The boy

I stare at the girl,
In the mirror,
I wonder why she cries,
So often,
And where the brightness,
That was once in her eyes,
Has gone,
She asks me why,
These things keep happening,
She can't comprehend,
Why she feels so alone,

This isn't what she wanted

We love not,
For joy nor hate,
Not for thrill,
Or to silence our vanity,
We love,
To be loved

You're the bones of my earth,
but there's always something
hollow under this ground. Some
empty coffin, full of air that was
a man, a boy; a monster. He was
full of the air of my world. He
wretched it from his lungs;
wretched it from my lungs.

I'm drowning in emotion,
That you're not feeling,
I'm falling apart,
'Cause you can't see this,
I'll break my own heart,
If it makes you smile,
But I've been keeping quiet,
Far too long

Your* words are in my head,
Playing: over
                         over
                                   over,
Stop.

You're standing there,
With that smile,
That laugh,

Like always

It's not mine anymore,
I don't want it anymore

Walk away,
I watch your footsteps,
Leave *me.

I want to hold you
with pages and ink.

Just let me look at all the things
I can't really see.

Stop me.

I need help.

I will keep bleeding. I will keep bleeding. I will keep bleeding.

Until you hear me. Hear me.

Snap the metal. Snap the bars. Snap the wrists. Snap my neck.

I need a wake up call.

I need a phone call.

Stop me.


Wake me up.

It's times like this,
When the seconds drag on,
And your silence,
Becomes unbearable,
That I think about the words,
What they mean,
What do they mean?
Maybe I shouldn't trust you,
So easily, so soon,
When it's still possible,
You're no different,
From anyone else,
But it seems,
I can't help myself

The words were never new,
It's all been said before,
The rain, the days,
The emotions never ours,
And yet I love you all the same,
With all my ingenuity,
I'll find you in the stars

So confused,
In my state,
Of hollow despair,
Who are we,
To judge,
Or claim insight,
Into the minds,
Of others,
When we do not know,
Our own

Open your mouth,
The dust flies out,
I have no past,
The memories have worn,
Now nothing more than colours,
Years and days of colours,
Fading by the day

It's not because I don't love you,
Or that you don't make me happy,
It's not that I don't want to change,
That I'm tired of it all,
I've just forgotten how to breathe,
I've forgotten how to see,
My vision's clouded over,
All I need is to be reminded,
To be taught how to feel,
Something that doesn't break me,
Or make me tumble to the floor,
I need you to look past,
The thoughts, the blood, the feelings,
And find what used to be,
Light

My back's against the wall
as I run razors over my legs
on the bathroom floor.
I'm thinking of you,
of your skin in the sunlight
and the way it would pierce
your dark eyes.

I don't know how,
To fill pages with words,
About someone,
So full of colour

I'm slipping away,
Watch the sky burn,
As I fade to dust,
Let the earth,
Rise up in flames,
I'm losing my shadow,
In the fire

I'm memorising the subtleties
of your voice, the curve of your smile,
the warmth of you on my skin;
trying to put into words
the way everything fades around you
when I look into your eyes.

If I could paint the world,
One colour,
It would be,
Grey,
Neither black, nor white,
Neutral,
Soft,
Warm,
It's true,
It's not a 'real' colour,
But it's far more forgiving

Looking up,
To the clouds,
Bearing my soul,
To the Summer sky,
Bleeding,
Under the dome,
Of perfect blue,
Fractured but serene,
Because he feels,
So real,
So honest,
Nothing like I've known,
But so much more

My head throbs,
With this constant headache,
Without a cause,
The blood is racing,
Much too fast,
Through these veins,
I'm still aching inside,
In that place,
Nobody can reach,
Just let it be over

Would you ever think
anything like this
could lie beyond
such a convincing smile.
Did you ever see
what was hiding behind
the silence?
Could you feel the cold
beneath the illusion;
the lie of living
never fails.