I must have one of those crazy infections:
Bitten on the jugular,
With silent jaws,
And within an instance,
All the sounds,
All the colours disappear,
Leaving you to die,
In static and white

Dead eyes,
                         blue bones.*


              *I feel empty

                                                     I feel empty

I feel empty


                                                         **Cages.

It could be clarity,
If I opened my eyes

Counterfeit contortions,
And your twisted edge,
Smooth and cold,
Black, dead confessions,
Promise like they mean it,
Full of choking,
And hands pulling,
Breaking,
Over-board and sick,
On overdoses of white,
And narcotic senses,
Tasting of dust and screams,
Lost and angered,
Thrown in all directions,
Like you could hide,
Your distortions

Just like paper,
We'll fold and tear,
Change colours and fade,
But we'll always be,
Paper

Dripping in that red mercury,
Tasting of rust,
Your bitter lungs,
Still and deadly,
And silent

Burn the roses,
The laughter, the smiles,
Up in flames,
With all my hope,
Our hope,
Light up the memories,
All of the 'we's, the 'us's,
Burn BURN BURN,
Up in smoke,
Everything,
Every part of us,
Every kind of sweetness,
All the clocks,
And cogs and smoldering, dying things,
That used to be love,
Licked up with your fire tongue,
Burn

I'll be falling again,
Dripping,
Tripping on gravity,
And cold footsteps,
High on wonder-lust,
Lost amongst white salvation,
With my black rubble hands,
Pawing at heaven

Singing;
                           softly drifting

                  la
                                 ­ la                            la
        la                     ­                  la

Rolling and churning the notes

              round
       and          and                  round
              round      ­            and        and
                                      ­          round

On your tongue;
                                       racing
                   chasing
beautiful


Singing;
                           softly drifting

                  la
                                 ­ la                            la
        la                     ­                  la

                                                            ­                ...In a dream

Twist
                                 and twirl
     and dance
                   and leap
                                                    and fly
            and sink
                                       and crash
                                                           ­ and fall
                      and break
     and cry
                                                  love
      ­                                                           and die.

You're tracing the edges,
Water all around,
Laughing and crying and screaming,
'Til you can't possibly take another breathe,
Can't make a sound,
So full of adrenaline,
Falling on the sand,
Sinking in the sand,
Half drowning in the salt and dirt and muck,
Black blood weaving it's way through the waves,
Weakening as it wanders out to nowhere,
That big old moon,
Wide and wise and obliterating,
Staring you down,
Back in your place,
That big old moon,
You tremble,
Fall apart,
Break apart,
Confess yourself,
To the big old moon

Perhaps I'm falling,
Into the bottom of this bottle,
Looking up,
From the palm of your hand,
Dancing between your fingers,
Perhaps I'm less now,
Wasting and diminished,
Perhaps I'm just not,
Perfect

I do not dream in colour,
I do not dream at all

Now that I'm gone,
Will you still sing about always,
Writing my name in the spaces,

Now that you've left,
Will you still draw my letters in tattoos,
Still feel the words on the tip of your tongue,

Now you've stopped loving,
Will you still breathe my perfume,
Still find my shampoo lingering on your sheets,

Now that I've lost you,
Will you still remember,
You loved me

Tomorrow I will dream,
And the carbon sky will fade,
Finally revealing that blue wonder,
I have missed for so long

A slave to all the poison,
Running through my veins,
Take my rights,
I've no will

A slave to all the poison,
Running through my veins,
Take my rights,
I've no will

You are not your own,
Surrender

Maybe now you're standing tall,
But someday when you wake,
You'll find yourself lost once more,
Short of breath on your empty throne,
And when you take the shallow blade,
Buring through your skin,
Like you remember,
You'll miss me

We love not,
For joy nor hate,
Not for thrill,
Or to silence our vanity,
We love,
To be loved

If only the rain,
Could soak throught my memories,
And wash from my mind,
All that I loved

Here I am,
With my scattered shrapnel heart,
Dug like thorns in my sides,
Now full with holes,
And cancerous disease,
I've waited so long,
For this certain release,
Yet I find myself sickened,
By my own temptation,
And through my pain,
I have sickened you too,
Made trenches of hairline fractures,
Through my self-destruction,
I've lost the only person,
Who could ever save me,
And I see now,
What burden I've become

Ironic,
That the sun should seem so bitter,
In all it's wonder and brightness

This pain is not new,
Not different,
Just stronger,
Sharper,
More threatening,
It's like glass,
Mapping out my insides,
Leaving wounds,
That will surely remain forever,
It's tearing me apart

Forfeit, rather fight,
You have taken,
The essence of my soul,
All of my worth,
And I never hesitated to give

I have lost so much,
Gambled away all of myself,
With each bet a higher bid,
Until now,
When I find nothing,
Not one shred of myself to offer,
I have given all,
Wasted all,
And you have left me,
Nothing

He was so many things,
Cut-throat and proud,
Transparent yet covered in shadows,
Like a diamond,
12 faces reflecting inwards,
Bouncing from wall to wall,
Catching light,
In the most breathtaking manor,

He was young and soulful,
With leather skin,
Dripping in sunlight,
Receeding slowly,
Into maturity,

He was old wine,
Suited to his age,
Sweeter with time,
But he faded,

He was so many things,
But mostly he was mine

The leaves were falling,
Like fiery snowflakes,
I could only see the sky,
That day,
It was everything,
And everything was bright

With the precision of a surgeon,
She traces her old veins,
Under the web of scars,
There's nothing left for her now,
The diamonds were only glass,
Waiting to make their mark

Beat down,
Under the heat of day,
Burnt with longing,
Irrational hunger,
A lust for pain,
That only that which I cannot have,
Can put to rest

I'm slowly dying,
In a mangled heap,
Some bloodshot dilution,
Of my former self,
Dependant on words,
Brittle and uncertain,
That hold all,
I cannot ask of you,
So I resign to this;
I'm slowly dying,
I hope it matters

Turning pages,
Impatient,
Say something

From the distance,
He finds me,
With those animal eyes,
Blue and orange and white,
Twisted and sharp,
Concluding with his pupils,
Deep and dark and wide,
Dragging me down,
Like the undertow,
I'm paralyzed,
By those animal eyes

My name across his chest,
In whiter-than-flesh ink,
That pulled his skin,
Like gravity,
Into each letter,
Blistered on one end,
With sunburn,
Forged sharp with his smile,
Brown eyes downcast,
The fleshy tattoo scars

Soft like Death,
Tasting my skin,
Scarce with droplets,
Of bitterness,
And sorrow,

Your lips warm,
Like velvet blood,
Quietly concealing,
Quintessence,
And poison,

Hands, winter chill,
Old, naive fingers,
Murderous in theory,
In practice,
Full of stealth,

For lips, and hands,
And fabled tongues,
Soft like Death,
Tasting my skin

You walked me through the gardens,
Past the ***-heads,
Fuming from their ears,
I see roses,
Remember the roses,
Beside you,
Keeping my hands,
Locked within themselves,
The stone monument cold,
Unforgivably firm,
"Show me"
I refuse,
But with time,
Present my scars,
Stifling tears,
Anchored by your arms,
Watching white roses,
*"I'm sorry"

I break,
Under your hands,
Conforming,
To your pressure,
And substance,
Religiously studying,
The design you've made of me,
Fitting the corners,
Becoming the curves,
Filling arms,
And leaking,
Inconstant,
From moonlight eyes

You stole me high,
Upon the windy bridge,
Steady and firm against my back,
Holding your ground,
Against vain struggle,
Looking below the surface,
We were calm and wondrous,
Reflected on the river tide,
Shadowed by glory,
And likened atonement,
Spun to face you,
"Trust me"
I surrender in my mind,
To fall beneath you

*In some ungodly hour,
Remember

So here I am again,
Back to bleeding,
Waiting in the dark,
Overwhelmed and underrated,
Just hoping you can hear me,
And in my darkest hours,
I wonder where you are,
Was I on your mind,
For even a moment

What's to stop me,
From drowning,
In all that bright, blue wonder,
From diving head first,
Into the bloodthirsty sun,

What's to stop me,
From giving over,
To black temptation,
Or spilling into a compilation,
Of ice and blunt glass,

There's nothing holding me back,
You're the last one standing,
In my way,
But you can't save me,
From myself

Lock away the demons,
Hide the monsters in your sheets,
Rest the devil in the closet,
Drift quickly back to sleep,
Dust away the cobwebs,
Wash the bloodstains from your sleeves,
Bury all the witnesses,
Pretend it's just a dream

Fingerprints on my skin,
Smudged, blue, black,
Shadows in my irises,
Dancing on my lids,
Webs between my fingers,
All tangled with dust,
Rust decomposing on my lips,
Sleeping on bitter veins,
I'm haunted