Trying to capture my feelings into words with meanings.
Trying to outcast the melancholies that surpass the evenings.
I can feel it pounding ready to explode,
So much love fumed in its area that it’s such a heavy load.
Water drops shimmers, sparkling the eye, that smile can’t keep telling those lies.
What are we really doing?
Running into circles stuck thinking should we give up.
We can’t leave each other alone, maybe its luck.
I just want to be emotionally stable
But we keep trying, fighting for a label.
I just want all the love I give in return,
I just want to be loved the way I earned.
I overlooked pretty much anything because ultimately I am just terrified of being alone.
I knew I should’ve kept my guard up, I felt this coming way too soon.
I overthinked and made scenarios, guess I shouldn’t have expected.
Breaking my own heart knowing this would be so hectic.
Tired of trying just to end up in the same position,
It was you I was missing, just wished you would’ve just listen.
Put yourself in my shoes, feel it from my perspective,
Constantly getting hurt though I’m so selective.
Patiently waiting on my time,
No matter how pure my heart is and how I’m so kind.
I’ll look back and realized that it was really me who wasted my own time.


-dpk

I want something that I cannot have. I cannot have it because I don't truly know what it is. I've seen it polished and propped as if it were on display and I've heard the stories of how much time and effort it took to make it look as such. But I want it. I want love. I want the idea of it at least.
I want the fights brought about by events simpler and less important than the time we wasted to have them. I want to be pained by the sight of her pain and know that the feeling of knives piercing my chest when I see her cry is there because I would literally drive them there myself, if only to prevent her tears.
I want our laughs to intertwine over the smallest things and our conversations to stretch our minds over the biggest. I want to see you sleep at night and I'll smile because I know that you're finally at peace. And I want you to smile when you wake up because you know that I'm fighting to make your reality better than your dreams.
I want love. I want romantic love, I want crazy love. I want passion. I want to pick you up in my arms and in that brief present get lost in your presence. I want to be in you when I am in you and have you wish that I would stay forever. I want to be in your heart and mind, and I want our love to be torturous and blind.
I just want love. I want the idea of it at least.

I admire you, after all the pain and bruise.
You still stuck around and loved like you never lose.
Never lost someone that broke you apart, someone that made you feel like loving you was hard.
You stayed strong though you had impulses that wanted you to do wrong.
Instead of being manipulated into doing things that you hated,
You stood above it all and stand your ground.
You guarded me and though the walls fell you rebuild,
And that empty feeling you gradually filled.
So heart this is for you, I just want to say thank you.


-dpk

Keep having this unwanted feeling,
This feeling I outcast that has a healing,
But it’s so much meaning so I allow it to keep raining.
Raining over me like a dark cloud, fighting the voices in my head that’s so loud.
Numb, empty, alone but I contemplate about changing this emotion,
It has so much power over me like a bullet in motion.
Maybe I like the pain because it makes me who I am,
Or maybe I rather run from the truth then to lend myself a helping hand.
Life is a feeling process, you win some and you lose some,
But I want to **** the feelings but it won’t go no matter how much ***.
It’s affecting me like a virus, pounding my heart,
Pretending like everything’s okay when I know this is so hard,
Being put back in the same position repeatedly every time I think I’ve come so far.
I knew this would’ve happen but I just wanted some affection, a little dose of attention, a feel of affirmation.
I wanted a human meditation.
To help mend the struggles, to love me for my flaws, to show me what I don’t see in myself.
I bring too much to the table to always be unappreciated or played with,
Making up scenarios in my head thinking we could’ve been lit.
Life goes on though it was you I wanted wrapped up in my arms,
This is just another alarm, can’t stop singing these stupid love songs,
I tried but I can’t make you write your wrongs.



-dpk

Love?
Is that the reason we torture ourselves to go down pathways we know will fracture us?
Giving our all, losing ourself for someone more infactuated in lust.
Damaging that little thing we need for survival just to feel some sort of love,
To keep us going because we know it's so tough.
It's so hard picking up the pieces from the last heartbreak so the other that comes along just fills the gap not putting it back together.
See I don't believe in forever.
Carrying burden from the past, dealing with issues in the present.
All I wanted was someone to make this hell feel like heaven.
To be there for me and help but most importantly to love me.
Is this why I rather hurt myself then to cut off the negative relations?
Cous i'm aiming for a connection when all i'm getting are tingly sensations.
Running through mud stuck in the same position,  why don't I just listen?
even roses hurt you with their thorns,
sadly nobodly likes to write their wrongs.
Your voice playing in my head like a favorite song,
Your smile helped me go on for so long,
Your touch intensify my impulses though I know it's wrong.
i'm not hard to love , i guess you're just the one i'm not suppose to have.


-dpk

Smoking to reach another dimension,
Far from the emotional tension.
I can't take this sensation of you constantly on my mind.
Feeling the hurt after I ignored all the signs.
Drinking to put myself in a condition though I know it'll just be temporary.
Meeting someone new is just so scary.
Feel like they'll all do me the same,
Just playing tricks with me, it's all about the game.
I don't understand why I keep getting hurt,
A consistent cycle that drives me in the dirt.
Numb to the drugs as they provoke my mind with temporary feelings,
I can't even describe how i'm feeling.
Drugs can't even do no healing,
What's the meaning?
Of a girl with a good heart but always run over,
A girl that has so much to offer,
I guess I matters well stay sober.

-dpk

Sitting in silence pure of love and tranquility,
The amusing feeling that attacks when I'm near you,
All the things you do , so glad to finally not feel blue.
Strip of depression when my mind is on you,
Blind by your affection and the things you knew.
Drunk and overdose of your love the way you make me feel,
The disasters and disease that tortured me you slowly healed.
Strip naked appealing in your eyes,
I always question how could you love me, why?
As you cleanse my mind of my flaws and insecurities,
You made me feel like lillies.
I know I am beautiful but you fused it in my brain,
For once i don't feel sane.
You crushed and choked my insecurities
With your hand brushing down my body.
Lifting the tiny strands as i screamed please.
Your eyes desired my body like a masterpiece,
And suddenly all my flaws ceased.
You made love to me without even having ***,
Instead you made ******* with me mentally making me not feel like a mess.
You made me feel beautiful inside and out,
As i was striped naked in front of you i had no doubt,
That you loved my imperfections and the love the motivation that spills out my mouth.


-dpk