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  Oct 2014 Isabella
The Last Wordsmith
If I'd known that five thirteen
On the seventeenth
Would be the very last
Before "I love you" became the past
I wouldn't have left you alone
I'd have said "around you I feel at home"
Because I will love you always
But my hearts as empty as these hallways
Because now you'll never love me back
And now whole world's turning black
Because my perfect angels gone
But still my love burns on

As it always will.
5:13pm on the 17th of October was the last time she said she loved me. Probably the last time she'll ever say she loves me.
Isabella Oct 2014
a girl once felt so alone
with no one to help her understand how she thought
quiet, she stayed, for the fear of saying something wrong
and the whole world would turn against her
she was kind and cared much about others
but no one seemed to want to do the same for her
until one day she found a book
and a rusty old pen
and began to write the secrets her heart spilled
the thoughts that kept her awake
the feelings she couldn't say to the person she loved
finally,
she no longer felt alone and was okay with herself
for all her feelings spilled onto the paper in front of her
or they spilled with the paint that danced on the blank canvas
rather than her feelings spilling down her rosy cheeks
and onto to floor
where they never belonged
Isabella Oct 2014
"Loving him was like everything and nothing. Never have I felt so fascinated by a person before. I suddenly wanted to know every thought and fear and wish he had every thought. And I just wanted to kiss him. Kiss him all over and be in his arms and always make sure he was okay. Always. He made me laugh and smile but his smile shined more than mine ever could. He has my heart. We felt like two missing puzzle pieces who finally found each other. It felt right. It felt okay and God I loved him. I loved him. I love him. I still love him. Yet, it feels like nothing now because he just walked away and I have never felt so broken before. It's funny because he had told me his greatest fear was loosing me."
Isabella Aug 2014
you
I love you so much it made me feel like galaxies were bursting inside of me and I was being something different and something new and I suddenly loved everything about me. It felt great and I saw the light in your eyes when you said you loved me and I felt the warmth in your arms and I heard the love in your laugh when I told corny jokes. everything felt so good

everything felt right

but then everything began to crumple and I collapsed because I had been stupid enough to build my happiness upon you. I began to hate very part of me and wish I wasn't this insecure girl I once was as you slowly lost the light in your eyes and began to walk away. I crumbled and the waves rolled from my **** brown eyes and you just stared and said you didm;t love me anymore and walked away.

just like that it was over
Isabella Aug 2014
I fell in love with a boy
who has beautiful eyes

I still can't tell
if they are green or brown
but I'm willing to wonder the color
until they close

this boy is so beautiful
if only he could see how beautiful he is
with his charming laugh
and his kindness to everyone
it made it easy to love him

yet just like every other love story
he never loved the girl with brown eyes
but instead loved the one with blue
and I'm here wishing
my eyes were blue
Isabella Aug 2014
I am a girl.
I have a nose
eyes
ears
hands
legs
feet
arms
a body
a ****
and *****
Yet,
the world seems so ashamed of a girl's body.
I am not ashamed though.
I am proud for who I am.
I love every inch of my skin
and every flaw I have.

I will not let others change how I see me
I will not let others make me think different
I will speak my mind
I will wear what I want
I will do what I want

I am a girl
and I am beautiful
Isabella Aug 2014
you
You are the first person I have truly loved with all my heart. You are the first boy to ever see the real me. To know my thoughts, feelings, fears and everything like that. We started off as best friends and you saved my from myself, something I should’ve done, but instead you did. I didn’t like you at first, but then I began to. And you liked me. Your words were sweet like honeydew and I fell to my knees at how good words could sound coming out of my mouth. You would mutter beautiful after you kissed my lips and my forehead and told me I was perfect in your eyes. I saw the twinkle in your eyes and the warm smile on your lips as you held me and I knew I was home. I felt safe against your chest and your arms around me that nothing else mattered in the world. Kissing you for the first time was nerve racking and I thought was heart was coming out of my throat but it didn’t and I wrapped my arms around you and kissed you.

You told me I was the first girl you ever felt this way towards and it made me melt. I never felt this way towards a boy and I fell apart in your arms, showing you every bit of me. And you loved me. I saw the bright light in your eyes and I felt I had found my sun because I was the moon in the dark sky that needed light. I felt that you really didn’t know what love was since your parents divorced at 2 so I made it my job to make sure you did. And I did. I loved you with every fiver in my whole ******* body I couldn’t breathe and I thought of you every moment and everything just felt right and okay with you.

But, all good things must come to the end and I fear we are at the end of this first love story. We seem to be falling apart and I am terrified of what comes next. If we do end things, I never want you to treat a girl like you treated me at times. If I’m not the one and you love another girl and you’re looking at her blue eyes that you wish were my brown you better ******* love her and you’ll kiss her lips but will taste mine instead and touch her hair that suddenly feels like mine, love her. I hope when you hold her you notice the difference in height and realize it’s not me and I’m sitting in my room trying to get over you as I look at the moon and wish I could big and white in the sky and beautiful.

But if we don’t end things and fix us and you are truly the one then I want you to make up for what we did wrong when we were 16 because we are 16 now and this is teenage love and it’s supposed to be messy and wrong and weird and heart wrenching but it is the most amazing feeling in the whole world loving you. When those words left my lips, it was like another world I didn’t know existed opened up and you were the center and everything revolved around you and I was okay with being your only moon and you my only sun.

I fell in love with every part of you: your eyes, lips, laugh, arms, hands, legs and I hate to sound cheesy but even your nose. I fell in love with you like kids fall in love with their favorite cartoon or how a mother loves her child no matter what they do. I still love you and I know that won’t change for a long time, but I love, I swearing to ******* God I love you more than any other person in the whole world and beyond that. I don’t care what anyone says. We are still young and learning but it will all be okay. We will be okay. I will make sure we will be okay.
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