Never say goodbye.
Who knows,we may meet again someday.

There is one thing that I've learned about so far in life.
It's to never sacrifice your happiness,
For the one you love.
Because in the end,
*It's just not ******* worth it.

Here I stand,
Watching you lean against the wall;
Your arms around her,
Holding her the way I pictured you holding me,

Here I stand,
Gazing at those beautiful eyes of yours,
And how they watch over her;
The way those eyes of yours were supposed to watch me.

And here I stand,
All alone,
Feeling my heart being ripped out of my dear soul.
For I am not as fortunate as the girl you call 'baby'

I remember how my grandmother tried to explain our world to me;
She told me a story,
She said the ground and the sky;They love each other.
But they don't have arms
So rain,that's just how they hold one another.

Here I am,
Typing away on my computer screen,
The scent of vanilla filling the room.
Even though a million thoughts are running through my head,
There's one that stands out.
*It's you

These days,
I feel many feelings all at once,
It all just gets mixed up in the end,
And it leaves me in a tiny ball,
Curled up in the corner,
Bawling my eyes out.
And I hate myself for it.

I sometimes wonder when it'll end,
I wonder when all the mixed feelings will disappear,
I wonder when that day will come,
The day that the only feeling I'll be feeling is
*Happiness

What's more deadly,
A gun or a thought?

Because a gun gives you the opportunity,
But a thought pulls the trigger.

It's funny how one can save millions,
But millions can't save one.

Today I looked up at the sky,
I saw the twinkling stars all lit up.

I looked over to my right,
And I saw a particularly bright star,
And I thought of you.

Because you,
Are my star.
You are my light,
You were and still are,
My *everything

I love to dance,
I love to blast songs into the room as I dance,
Because when I dance,
I dance with emotion.
Whether it's anger,sadness,happiness,jealousy,fear
Whatever that comes my way,
I know that it will always go away,
With every step or jump I make.

Silence,
Can be both good and bad.

The good kind of silence,
Is the comfortable,
Calm silence,
Where nothing really matters,
As you float through your own world of happiness.

The bad kind of silence,
Is every woman's nightmare
Why nightmare you ask?
Well,when a woman is silent,
A billion things are flashing through her mind,
Doubts,Insecurities,but most of all.
hurt.

As they say,
*Silence is the most powerful scream

Your eyes were too innocent,
For me to see,
That you were planning on
Bringing me to my breaking point,
I wasn't prepared for your little show,
Deafened by your smile,

For back then,
I couldn't see the hell in your hello.

I feel you,
In my bones,

All 206 of 'em.

When I saw you I fell in love,

And you smiled because you knew.

There once was a girl,
Who was young and free,
Never cared about what she looked like,
Never cared about what people thought of her,
Never really gave a **** about anything.

But that was in the past.

Now, everything seems to be important to her,
Critiques,looks,feelings,
She cares about it all.
That girl before was long gone,
Away with the rest of them.

That girl is *me

She's not getting drunk for the hell of it,

She's getting drunk to numb the hell out of it.

I've finally figured you out;
Why you've been avoiding me,
Why you avoid my questions of worries,
Why I hardly ever see you around,
I finally get it;
I only have one question to ask:
Did you mean whatever you said to me?
All those gestures of kindness,
Did they mean anything to you?
My heart poured out to you,
Did you not appreciate it?
Was I not good enough?
Was she better somehow?
Because I now know,that I was not the only one you 'loved'.
And to think I ever loved you.

Where were you,
When I needed someone to cheer me up?

Where were you,
When I needed someone by my side?

Where were you,
When I needed a shoulder to cry on?

Where were you,
When I felt like the world was crashing right in front of me?

Tell me,
Where the hell were you,
When I needed you the most?

If loving you was wrong,  

Then I sure as hell don't want to be *right

Being anonymous means no one knows you.
No one knows your flaws,
Your secrets,
Your mistakes.
You are basically invisible.
I'd like to be invisible for a day.
So no one can judge me,
Or mock me,
Or even mistreat me.
I'd like to be anonymous for a day.
Would you?

I'm sorry,
For ruining our happy days,
I'm sorry,
For making the only thing I ever loved be hurt.

I'm sorry,
For all the wrongs I've wronged,
I'm sorry,
For all those mistakes in the past.

For everything I've done,
I'm just
Truly,
Madly,
Deeply,
*Sorry

"New Year","New Page","New Story","New Beginnings",They'd say
Huh,I wish I'd think.

It's funny how people can change overnight,
But it takes what seems like forever to change them back.

A woman with her husband run through the theater doors,
taking their seats. 7:57 and the movie begins.
8.00 and her voice is louder than the rest,followed by a playful "hush" from her husband as the lights dim.
Music starts,and powerful speakers shake.
Laughter and gasps fill the room as she wonders is she'll remember this evening by the time it ends.

The childish couple race to their car and drive to the nearest diner;the same one they went on their first date.Burgers,milkshakes ans countless amount of fries and grams of saturated fat later,she wonders,
Do the calories count if I can't recall them?

The long ride home is smooth;windows down,November air pushes their hair back,and a soft buzz from the out-of-range radio hides in the background.Her husband squeezes her hand as he pulls into the drive of their ranch for two.Once the car stops,they walk to the door;smiles unable to escape their faces;those two faces that are so infatuated with each other,and had promised they would always be through sickness and in health.

But as they get ready for bed that night,she wonders why they didn't end up going to the movie theater that night.

If you ever feel lonely,
Just look at the moon,
Because someone,
Somewhere,
Is looking at the exact moon as you are.

You Are Never Alone,My Friend
*And you will never be alone

I can say I'm strong,
But that would be a lie.

I can say I don't cry,
When really,I weep over the slightest things.

I can say I give good advice,
But I don't even know what I don't know,

I can say that I'm happy,
When I die a little inside everyday.

I can't wait any longer,
Bring me back home
To where I really belong.

I am writing this letter to you up above,
To tell you how much I miss you,
I still don't know the reason why you had to leave,
It just wasn't fair.

I am now left with this sorrow,
Along with so many others who love you just as much as I do,
Oh how I wish to see you,
To touch your face,
To laugh with you and your jokes
One Last Time.

Everyday I hear you whisper in my thoughts,
I feel you around me,
I feel your presence every minute of the day,
But I know you live on,from those lives you have touched.

I know someday I'll see you again,
But for now,I'll keep you close to my heart,
Keep you safe

Until then..
Always remember that,
You were and still always be loved.

(01/01/2015)