LET ME BE THE ANTIDEPRESSANTS YOU NEED EVERYDAY
LET ME BE THE REASON BEHIND YOUR SMILE
LET ME BE THE BANDAID YOU PUT ON YOUR THOUGHTS
LET ME BE THE ONE TO STOP YOUR ANXIETY
LET ME BE THE ONE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
LET ME BE YOURS

is it bad
that i hope
you don’t find
any of these
because they are too much
i read them
and i realise
how i sound
*******
these are horrible
i want you to know how i feel
but this is too much
too soon

I
HATE
MYSELF
SO
MUCH
THAT
I’M
FALLING
TO
PIECES
WITH
THE
THOUGHT
OF
IT

I smile
I laugh
I joke
But it all feels fake.
I’m not happy
I’m not funny
I’m not real.
I lie to myself
I lie to you
I lie to the world
Because I’m none of the good.

i wanted to tell you
but your eyes,
they stole my words
and chucked them into
the deepest part of the ocean
mocked me
so i hid behind my poetry
but then you found it.
i guess that was a good thing though
because look what we are
now.

we’re all going to die
someday
even the sun will die
the stars will all die
the earth will die
there will be nothing left
but a vast emptiness.

i think
we’re going to
make it.
if i can
make it
that
long.

meeting you was cutting our fingers on shards of broken glass, the broken glass my body / and then planting bulbs in the little corner garden at the end of our driveway / meeting you was taking those shards and repairing the figurine of my happiness with superglue / so those shards couldn't fall back off / superglue, a much better alternative to clear tape and bubblegum that finally lost it's flavor / meeting you was plumping lip gloss, taking what was once considered okay and making it beautiful / meeting you was ugly and dazzling and everything in between / meeting you was finding the worth in what we once considered worthless / meeting you was watching those **** bloodied tulips grow to their fullest potential / regardless of how others saw them

THE WAY I LET YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU IS BY
SMILING AND SHAKING MY HEAD, SAYING:
“YOU’RE AN IDIOT”. THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW.
AND I’M CONSTANTLY TELLING YOU YOU’RE AN
IDIOT. OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE THAT I DO.

I’m easy to forget
So I don’t blame you
If you never think of me again
Just know
As I leave
That I really do
Love
you

just being near you
planted those tiny seeds of love
in my heart,
filling the cracks with dirt.
but the flowers,
when they bloomed,
they reached through my lungs
and suffocated me
making me choke on the words
that you deserve to hear.

black paint / gripping hands / drip blood / wrap around my throat / faster / now / take my breath away / quite literally / do it / steal what little i have left / tighter / choking / smiling / i'm home, finally

The world ends
Every night
Because is it real
If we can’t see it?
But we wake up
We begin again
The world is born anew
And we get another chance
We get a fresh start
A new day
And we need to seize it
Take the opportunity
And make life ours
Carpe diem, *******.
Carpe
Diem.

   YOU
ARE    
*    THE
STARS  
      ON
A   *
CLOUDLESS
NIGHT

If brokenness is art
Then I really am the masterpiece
You claim that I am
I must actually be beautiful
That must be why you
Can never stop staring at me

you told me last night
you hurt yourself
i feel like ****
because i never noticed
i was too busy
staring at your smile
and your eyes
to notice
the faint red lines on your wrist.
you are much too beautiful for that
and i hope you never do that again.
please
just talk to me
when you feel the burn
the itch for that stupid blade
because i love you way too much
for you to need that
one person
should be
E
N
O
U
G
H

I walk up
To the shop
And I feel
Vellichor
I smell the ink
The worn pages
Feel soft between my fingers
My hands
Trace the spines
And my mouth
Utters in the softest of whispers
The names of authors and their
Masterpieces
Searching
For the perfect book.

i keep letting you break me

and i think that the way to fix it

is to mend you

how foolish of me