aslan: Poems

Apr 2018 · 61

silence

aslan Apr 2018

silence

i’m as fragile as silence
speak into me
say my name
and you break me

b r e a k i n g

Apr 2018 · 70

you are

aslan Apr 2018

you are

you are my poetry
you are my aesthetic
you are my music
you are my art
you are mine.

l o v e m e b a c k

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 51

it hurts

aslan Apr 2018

it hurts

loving you
hurts like hell
but feels so good.
what the ****
bittersweet feelings
and unrequited love
don’t mix.

j u s t t e l l m e y o u l o v e m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 91

dancing

aslan Apr 2018

dancing

I wish you would dance
because even if the whole world
was watching
I’d make a fool of myself
and dance with you.
you mean so much, too much
to me
and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.
****,
I really can’t lose you
but I am
so
s o o n

d a n c e w i t h m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 64

daydreaming

aslan Apr 2018

daydreaming

She’s lost in her daydreams
She can’t hear you
Or maybe she doesn’t want to
Because those daydreams,
They’re her only escape
From the hell she lives in.

d r e a m e r

Apr 2018 · 49

return

aslan Apr 2018

return

I’d gladly give you my life
My soul
My heart.
You are worth it all.
I just wish
You’d give the same
In return.

s h a r e m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 57

funeral

aslan Apr 2018

funeral

I don’t want to wait
For my funeral
To hear you say
The words
That might just have been
Able
To keep me alive.
It will be much too late
For that.

s a v e m e

Apr 2018 · 72

broken heart

aslan Apr 2018

broken heart

I’m trying to follow my heart
But my heart is in a
Million pieces
So how the hell
Am I supposed to do that
Without getting lost?

p l e a s e h e l p

Apr 2018 · 43

left

aslan Apr 2018

left

I’m still trying to decide
If you left me
Or if I left you.

d o n t l e a v e m e

Apr 2018 · 53

hiding

aslan Apr 2018

hiding

I hide away
Behind smiles and laughter
Because humour,
Humour’s a good way
To hide the pain.

i m i n p a i n

Apr 2018 · 91

lost

aslan Apr 2018

lost

I lost you
But I also lost myself and
You lost me, too.
I’m sorry.
It’s ******* terrifying,
Losing yourself.
I never thought it might happen.

l o s t

Apr 2018 · 101

fake

aslan Apr 2018

fake

I smile
I laugh
I joke
But it all feels fake.
I’m not happy
I’m not funny
I’m not real.
I lie to myself
I lie to you
I lie to the world
Because I’m none of the good.

i m s o r r y

Apr 2018 · 77

numb

aslan Apr 2018

numb

I hear your words
But they don’t
Pierce me anymore
Because I’ve become
Numb.
Nothing hurts anymore
Because I can’t feel.
This is what
Emptiness feels like.
It’s so heavy.

e m p t y

Apr 2018 · 52

life

aslan Apr 2018

life

Everything is numb
Grey
Bland
Tasteless
Blurry.
This
Is
My
Life
Now.

s h a k y

Apr 2018 · 70

colours

aslan Apr 2018

colours

I was grey,
Trying to be yellow,
And he was yellow,
Trying to be grey.
He wanted nothing more
Than to love
And I wanted nothing more
Than to die.
Mixing the two of us
Together
Is like mixing
*****
And
Cigarettes.

d a n g e r o u s

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 42

shattering

aslan Apr 2018

shattering

I’m
s
    h
        a
           t
               t
                e
        r
      i
    n
g
please
mend
me

f i x m e

Apr 2018 · 40

losing you

aslan Apr 2018

losing you

I
don’t
want
to
lose
you.

*******

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 62

nowhere to go

aslan Apr 2018

nowhere to go

I wish
They would stop
Changing the day
On us.
I can’t do this.
I can’t be homeless
Again.

u g h

Apr 2018 · 33

liar

aslan Apr 2018

liar

I’m not
A ******* liar.
I told you the truth,
Or what I knew of it,
At least.
*******,
Little boy.
Never call me
A liar
Again.

i h a t e y o u

Apr 2018 · 60

words

aslan Apr 2018

words

Your eyes
Speak more
Words
Than your
Lips ever
Could.

t a l k t o m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 65

trees

aslan Apr 2018

trees

I love the way the
Trees
Break up the
Sky
Like the shattered glass
Of our hearts.

i l o v e y o u

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 52

heart

aslan Apr 2018

heart

You have
My heart
Too bad
I don’t have
Yours.

h e a r t b r o k e n

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 73

i am a man

aslan Apr 2018

i am a man

No matter how hard I try,
It doesn’t make a difference.
I wear masc clothing
But when I run out,
I’m left with femme stuff.
People do double-takes
When they look at me,
Trying to figure out
What the hell I am.
I can tell you this:
I’m not a ma’am.
I am a man.

******* y o u

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 78

colourless

aslan Apr 2018

colourless

All I see
Is blur
Walking in the colourless world
Feeling too empty to cry.
Grey, black, slate
White is too bright for this occasion.
It’s getting harder and harder to breathe
I’m suffocating
But nobody gives a ****,
Do they?
I’m numb,
Comfortably so.

i m n u m b

Apr 2018 · 55

no way out

aslan Apr 2018

no way out

Depression is like quicksand
The more you struggle
The farther away it pulls you.
Depression is like drowning
It fills your lungs like water
And burns beyond belief.
I’m sinking.
I’m drowning.
And I don’t see any light
Or any way out.

i m d r o w n i n g

Apr 2018 · 74

How?

aslan Apr 2018

How?

How can emptiness
Be so **** heavy?

How can a poet
Run out of words?

How can a musician
Run out of lyrics and song?

How can I be
When I want nothing more than to not exist?

a l l i s e e i s g r e y

Apr 2018 · 74

sleepless.

aslan Apr 2018

sleepless.

I lie awake at night
Worrying about people
I wonder:
Is there anyone out there
Who has sleepless nights
Thinking about me?

a n x i e t y

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 162

1 am.

aslan Apr 2018

1 am.

I would sleep much better
If you were next to me
But for now
I’ll settle with being
Your 1 am thoughts.

do you dream of me?

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 149

2 am.

aslan Apr 2018

2 am.

2 am
And all I can think of
Is the way you look at her
When you lie to me
And tell me you love me.
Because when you flirt with me,
You flirt with her, too.

w h y d o e s i t h u r t ******a d

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 143

4 am.

aslan Apr 2018

4 am.

It’s around 4 am
And it’s not fair
That I’m crying
And hating myself
With a stupid blade in my hands
While you think thoughts
And dream of her.

w h a t i s a i r

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 71

goodnight.

aslan Apr 2018

goodnight.

I hope
That a day will come
When I don’t have
To say goodbye,
Only
g
o
o
d
n
i
g
h
t

i h o p e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 68

wishing.

aslan Apr 2018

wishing.

It was way after
11:11,
But still,
I was thinking of you.
Because you never
Ever
Ever
Leave my mind.

drowning in thoughts of you...

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 95

tonight.

aslan Apr 2018

tonight.

I saw you
Tonight
In the stars.
Twinkling
As you cry,
Shining
Like your eyes.
You are love.

y o u m a k e m e c r y

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 65

night is my favourite.

aslan Apr 2018

night is my favourite.

Night is my favourite.
It hides the scars.
It encourages you to think.
It is poetry.
You are my night.
You are my
s a s
t r

i c a n t b r e a t h e

Apr 2018 · 58

Jump.

aslan Apr 2018

Jump.

I’m ready to become one of the stars.
I breathe out a shaky sigh
Close my tear-filled eyes,
And
j
   u
        m
              p

o v e r w h e l m e d

Apr 2018 · 87

For you.

aslan Apr 2018

For you.

The stars,
They shine for you.
The sun,
It rises and sets for you.
The moon,
It joins the night for you.
My smile,
It flashes for you.
My heart,
It beats for you.

b e a t i n g l o u d l y

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 89

Stars.

aslan Apr 2018

Stars.

The sky
Is just
A graveyard full
Of stars.
So tragically
Beautiful.

b r e a t h l e s s

Apr 2018 · 95

Children.

aslan Apr 2018

Children.

Stupid little children
**** me off.
****** language,
Major attitudes,
And feeling pretentious.
**** them.

u g h

Apr 2018 · 85

I want.

aslan Apr 2018

I want.

I want to be the person
You think of in the middle of the night
When you can’t sleep
Or wake up from a nightmare.
I want to be the person
Who the thought of
Makes you feel safe.
I want to be the person
You have deep conversations with
When you want nothing more than to sleep.
I want to be the person
Who the thought of
Makes you smile like a fool.
I want to be the person
You cry over
When I leave.

s h i t

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 71

Wishes.

aslan Apr 2018

Wishes.

I wish every night
At 11:11
Or at the sight of a shooting star
For you.
For the feeling of being
In your arms.
What do you wish for?

p l e a s e c o m e t o m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 98

Nights.

aslan Apr 2018

Nights.

Some nights,
I lay awake,
Thinking about how much
I hate my life.

Other nights,
I lay awake,
Unable to control how happy I am,
Smiling like a fool.

A few nights,
I sit there,
Void of emotion,
Unable to cry.

But there is never a time
When you don’t cross my mind.

o v e r t h i n k i n g

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 110

Break.

aslan Apr 2018

Break.

You’re going to break me
But I’ll still love you,
Anyways.
This is such *******.

s h i t

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 122

Unrequited Love.

aslan Apr 2018

Unrequited Love.

You claim you love me,
But why would you,
When you can have her?

h o l y *******i m p a n i c k i n g

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 86

Pieces.

aslan Apr 2018

Pieces.

I fell in love
With all of the pieces
Of you that you don’t like
About yourself.

w h y m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 1.3k

ILY.

aslan Apr 2018

ILY.

One language,
One phrase
Is not enough.

Not enough to express
How I really feel
About you.

Te amo,
Je t’aime,
Koishiteru.

Ek het jou life,
Jeg elsker dig,
Minä rakastan sinua.

Nope.
This still isn’t enough.
I hope you know

What I’m trying to say to you.

u g h

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 113

Chance.

aslan Apr 2018

Chance.

I was sure
I had more of a chance
Than she did,

Especially considering
The glaring fact
That she’s, ya know,

STRAIGHT.

w h a t t h e h e l l

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 75

Fell.

aslan Apr 2018

Fell.

I fell so hard for you
I shattered
Like a fallen glass.

p l e a s e l o v e m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 64

We.

aslan Apr 2018

We.

You are the sun
And I am the moon.

You are the stars
And I am the cloudless night.

You are the air
And I am the lungs.

You are the snow
And I am the rain.

You are a drizzle
And I am a hurricane.

You are the peace
And I am the chaos.

You are the waves
And I am the wind.

You are mine
And I am yours.

i n e e d a i r

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 72

Yes or No?

aslan Apr 2018

Yes or No?

Yes
Or
No?

Which will it be?
I think you can handle
Figuring out what I’m asking.

I think you know.
Because you asked me this question
But I didn’t know

What exactly you meant.
There are so many things
To which you could say

Yes
Or
No?

p l e a s e t e l l m e

#lgbt

Apr 2018 · 57

Your eyes.

aslan Apr 2018

Your eyes.

When you look at me,
Your eyes turn the most amazing colour.
They become

The most shocking shade
Of green.
They go from

Mostly brown
To mostly green.
How can

Your eyes
Be my favourite,
When you’re still not mine?

i f e l l i n l o v e

#lgbt