My Woman
the more
I try to understand,
the more
she fall into myth..
a tiredness in understanding
a clear confirmation
You never going to
hear the bell... that
you have understood her..

there is no GOD, and I am his prophet.
don't shove your religion down my
throat.
there is no GOD.
to believe in GOD is wishful thinking.
i don't need a boss man
breathing down my neck,
but you must.
you better harden up.

i believe
that you shouldn't believe
in anything, and I believe you
ought to harden up.

face facts.
get real.
it's a raw, dog eat dog world out there
and it's us against them.
you have to be able to
face the cold truth of it all.
life's just what happens
between the maternity ward
and the crematorium.

hear me brother,
this is my sermon:
there is no GOD
and I am his prophet.

It looked as perfect as a watch,
but twice as lively.
Just as little
with little hands.

The way it smiled was gorgeous
and made me understand why my mother called me that.

Something to fight for
Something to live for
Something to die for.

It's so crazy how I crave the littlest things
Because they mean so much to me
Right now I could go for someone's quiet company
I just want to sit on the swing on the back deck
And swing with my eyes closed
If you let me
I'll hold your hand
Just to know that someone is still with me
I want to be quiet and just listen
Listen to the bugs
Listen to the squeak of the swing
Listen you our breathing
Listen to your heart beat
You can put your head on my should if you want
Make yourself at home
It's so crazy how I crave the littlest things
Because they mean so much to me

Broken
Everything is broken
My lungs wont fill with air
My eyes wont cry
My heart
My heart is full to bursting
Full of an ocean of salty waves crashing up and down and sideways and all over
So heavy
So swishy, swirly, salty
Makes me dizzy
My brain wont take oxygen
I get light headed and I cant see straight
Broken
I'm so broken
And it's not that I can't feel, can't love, can't be happy
It's that I don't want to
I have no desire to
You aren't here
No more laugh
Crazy silly funny laugh
No more hugs
Long warm hugs
No more kisses
Soft, sweet, sensual kisses
Oh, your kisses
No more you
Your brain
Your imagination, your humor
Your sarcastic ******* remarks trying to hide your sweet, sweet love
Oh, your love
No more love, not from you
So I don't want to love
To be happy
To have warmth and smiles and joy flowing through my heart
I want the waves
The heavy, crashing waves that carry the weight of the world
Can't breathe
Can't cry
Can't laugh
Can't even be truly sad
Not without you
Because it was me who left
Not you
When I fell, I got up and ran
I didn't let you hold me
Kiss me
Hug me
Calm the waves in my heart
I just left
So no, I don't want anything but the heavy, crashing waves trying to break through my chest and start my breathing back, but always failing, always trapped inside my thick, stupid, beating, drowning heart
My heart
Broken