It's been so long,
Hello old friend
Writing me a song
In your crimson red
Reminding me of sunsets
And destructive fire,
Of sparkling garnets
And dying poinsettias
Oh how I missed you
But that's a total lie
I was so much better
Without you in my life
Now look what I've done
Hurting myself again
Waiting for all this crimson
To be washed away by the rain.

Thought of mine,
Stinging lie,
I implore you,
Leave me be.
I have no time
Nor the patience
Or the mind
To let you influence me.

-is what I wish I could say
on a day like today
where the clouds roll in
and I feel the darkness
grow.

Please,

Could you forgive me

When my name can no longer be spoken?

Could you forgive me if I'm not open

With you?

If I fell today,

If I went away

What is the first thing you'd do?

Hurt myself?
Don't mind if I do
Of course it only hurts
When it has to do with you

Will I ever feel like I'm enough?

Nothing hurts as much
As the thought that I could never be,
Enough for you,
Enough for me.

Perhaps the end is closer than it seems
Always,
Barrelling forward at maximum speed

So that no one would know,
Until the time came
Quickly,
Quietly,
I would slip away

I could scream no longer,
And the hurt would finally fade