Are you walking away for good this time?
Are you alright?
I don't want to care but I think I'm losing my mind
Without you
I guess it shouldn't matter though
Because the way you're acting makes it seem like we're through
I suppose if that's how you want it then I'll just walk away
But dont expect me to think of you every day
Even though I know I will
I won't tell you and I won't say
That I miss you even though I do
And I'll never tell you that I want you back even though I do
Because what's the point if you dont love me like I love you?

I can't take back
Words that I never said
I can't un-mutter
The syllables that I never uttered
And I can't tell you
That this silence isn't
Making me deaf
But you can't tell me
That you meant every word you spoke
When you said I was first on your mind
Every time that you woke

There is a place where
I go to clear my conscience
But I can not stay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The winds will blow new
But the sky remains the same
Time and time again.

I feel like screaming out to everyone and the world that I am not who you think I am
I am trying so hard to be so much more but I feel like my attempts are so futile
What do I do?
I want to run and run and run but my lungs can't handle it
And I want to love and love and love but no one can act right
No one knows how to hold on to what they want, even if it means losing them for a little while
No one knows how to accept that you have to play the game to win even though you don't want to,
You feel like it's admitting defeat but if you win in the end, what's losing a few battles in the beginning?
What's giving up now if you can rise to power when you most need it?
What's backing down now when you'll know how to stand up later?
What's running if there is no walking?
What's love if there is no hatred?
What happiness if there is no anger?
What is empowerment if there is no helplessness??

I want to feel an emotion that's not there,
Some kind of empowerment like you'd hear in an indie song.
I want to feel like someone who can do anything,
I want to feel like I can fly
But there's only my lead feet holding me to the ground,
I won't ever reach the high blue.
And that's okay because some people are meant to stay where they are, right?
I'll never see those baby blues again and that's okay,
Because those baby blues turned into a dull gray,
Dominated by wide black traps
And all the colors of the sky cannot enter them.
I'll never hold those rough hands again but that's alright because they're meant to hold a burning pipe of thick, sweet smoke.
They're meant to work and grip and live a life never meant for them.
I'll never feel that warmth again because it's not there, is it?
It's been long replaced by a hatred for something that you could not control.
Where were we so many years ago?

Shove me away like you want to,
But if you do, don't be careful.
Push me out of your life like you're going to,
But if you do, leave me alone.
Ignore me and neglect me and leave me to my own,
Leave me to love you hopelessly,
Let me burn my own world down
Let me walk into my own trap
Leave me to cry all alone
Ah, love,
I wouldn't have it any other way.